I feel so down...

[stewartlittle]

Step by step, that is the advice I can give you.

Work on your social skills. Try to work at a place where you meet a lot of people, men and women. In time you will develop your social skills.

The club scene is a very hard place to pick up women. The competition is huge and the women are putting their shield on. I once met a girl and she was very nice and good looking, but when we went out to a club she turned into a cold person.

A time goes by, you will get more confidence. Confidence means also that you do not care what other people say or do. You decide how you feel.

Take risks, if you win, you will be happy
If you lose, you will be wise.

 

[Big-J]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Okay, you've got two choices here. You can either plant your ass firmly on the pity pot and let this bring you down, or you can use it as motivation to improve on what can be improved upon. Stand up, brush yourself off and let's do an honest inventory of both your weaknesses and your strengths. I'll offer whatever advice I can to help you improve your looks. I am a very looks oriented woman, and a bit shallow in that respect, but Goddamn it, I really hate people who purposely and knowingly hurt the feelings of others. Those girls may have looked good on the outside, but they sure aren't anything to be impressed with or attracted to on the inside. Eventually they will get old and lose their looks, and then they will be lonely and miserable because they clearly have nothing else going for them.

With that being said...have you got a recent picture that you could show me so I can do what I can to help you out? If you don't have a picture, just do your best to tell me what you would like to improve and be as descriptive as you can be. Believe it or not...you can make a huge difference just by hairstyle, clothing and facial hair. For instance, if a guy has a receding chin or mishapen lips...a goatee and mustache can make a world of difference. Trimming brows and stray hairs can make a huge differene, too. There are a lot of things you can do if someone just gives you a little help.

Wow, your still here? Good to see one of the level headed women again, been a while.

 

[popcorn]

Man what a load of horrable****ers ignore them they are trash and i wish them the very worst in life.The fact is if you dont go out then you have no chance of meeting women, and you will meet women who are right bastards. Take it from someone who knows looks dont buy you **** with women apart from stares i still get laughed at in my face too. But if you want women then you have to get over your social phobia. Well i wish you luck friend and PLEASE PLEASE dont let ****in trash like that get to you, i dont. They dont care about looks anyway they would date a 1 who had the rightattitude. SEE YA.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Big-J
Wow, your still here? Good to see one of the level headed women again, been a while.

Thanks...I pop in once in awhile, but not very often.

To everyone giving this guy advice, listen up... if he didn't already feel insecure about his looks, what they said would not have upset him so bad. This would indicate that he does have some issues with his appearance that isn't helping him any. This is not a place to lie to oneself or each other. Knock that **** off. Offer the guy some helpful advice other than stating the obvious...that those girls were worthless *****es. He already knows that, but it isn't going to help him fix anything. Let's be constructive, shall we?

 

[Genghis Juan]

Hardened Soul,

You cannot love anyone else until you love yourself first.

The pain and despair you felt after that night of the girls making fun of you were symptoms of an internal self-esteem problem. You must dig deep, imagine who and what you want to be.

Physical - training in the gym
Intellectual - excelling at school
Culture - becoming well spoken, reading literature, developing taste in fashion, etiquette
Health - eating well

You have to build a strong foundation with the things listed above before you can develop your Social skills. The foundation built will develop your confidence. Once you feel internal confidence, you will be ready to venture ******ds and learn social skills.

These are just some ideas for you to chew on. Its not as hard and complicated as it sounds. You just have to start this journey with a small step. It will allow you to take control of your life; the tail won't wag the dog anymore.

 

[HardenedSoul]

Thanks everyone for your kind replies. Means alot. I don't think showing a pic of myself will help at all since my face can't really change dramatically with any suggestions.

I've been giving this alot of thought, and I'm going to be joining a monastery after a complete my college education. I'm going to go head first into the life of a celibate. I've always had a fascination with Buddhism, and I'm going to be getting initiated in a couple of months if everything works out as planned. Since my social life has no success, I just come home after classes and meditate for hours upon hours. I'll probably never get a girl, but that's not why I'm going to join. I've decided to focus my energy within, and to be happy with myself. All I get when I go out is negative energy. I find solace (positive energy) within my own realm (in meditation), and I think I can live peacefully in this type of life.

Again. Thanks for your replies.

 

[WestCoaster]

F'n American women!

OK, the responses here have been tremendous. Totally agree with all of them. It would be tough to have a quick comeback IMO as stated in the early replies, but I liked them. Anyway, great advice.

I'm totally siding with PRL on this one. I'm soooooooo disgusted what has become of the American woman -- I can't imagine my mom EVER saying anything like this to a person, and I'm not a mommy's boy. She has class and treats people with respect. She's also a senior citizen and was brought up old school.

PRL is right, these American women are wh-res. Last week a guy on this board wrote a tale of a woman throwing beer in his face because he didn't buy beer for all her friends. The worst part with both of these scenarios are the AFC guys encouraging these women! Just once I'd like to see a gentleman with NADS stand up and say, "Listen b-tch, don't talk about people like that," ... and, "Look, don't EVER throw alcohol in someone's face again."

These wh-res (and that's what they are) unfortunately make up the majority of American women -- and they're learning early. I read on another site where a girl scout selling GS cookies called a guy an "assh-le" because he said no thanks in buying cookies. When asked where she learned that word, she said her mother. The guy said she must have a bad mother and the mother lit into him like a drunken sailor.

American women are sliding lower each day. They have truly become the lowest form of female species.

It saddens me to hear stories of guys being called ugly and having beer thrown in their face. It saddens me more that American MEN won't call women on this sh-t!

If U.S. women were called on this crap, and if more men dated foreign women they would change their sl-tty ways in two seconds. Instead, we encourage them.

 

[Walldorf]

Hello Hardened Soul,

Just a short comment on your plan in joining a monastary. There might be nothing wrong with that, but if you decide to do so, be absotely shure you do it for the right reason. Because to be honest with you, to me this seems more like an attempt to escape from reality. Of course I do not know you enough to make a judgement, but at least you should ask yourself if there might not be a danger of that being true. Because if so, nothing would change by joining a monestary.

We all have been through the phase of feeling alienated with life (I guess that is the reason for most of us coming here in the beginning). But the only way out is being brutally honest with yourself, and seeing where your own failures are and to work hard on them to finally become the brightest vision of yourself. If in a year or so after following the advice on this website (e.g. especially the early posts of Mr. (Senor) Fingers) you won't see any progress in your social life, you might reconsider, but untill then I would give this site and its advice at least a try before making such a big decision for your life.

Good Luck

Wal

 

[The Brufri]

Hardened Soul,

I somehow know how you feel. I´ve been told many times by people that im ugly, incluiding some mean comments from girls. But you know what? I´ve been with girls that liked my appearance, some of them were goodlooking girls. I somehow was attractive for them...I never stopped approching women, no matter how much they would reject me.

These are some advices i´ll give you based solely on my own experience:

1. Dress your best. Look at the mirror and say "im feeling my best". By new trendy clothes but remember to have your style.
2. Shave before going out.
3. Have a nice haircut that suits your face.
4. Take care of your facial skin. If you have any problems with acne or something like that, solve these issues.
5. Go to the gym and develop a great body. If you have an ugly face try to work on something that its up for you to change. Most part of the girls dont look at details but the overall aspect. Having a great body will compensate in part your lack of looks.
6. When you do all of the above, your confidence should be a little bit improved. Now work on your REAL confidence that comes from the inside. I heard so many mean comments about my appearance, i was so humilliated that one day i woke up and didnt care about it anymore. My confidence was there and no matter what they would say, it couldnt hurt my anymore. What doesnt kill us, just make us stronger. People started to accept me by the person I was, other inner qualities I had.
7. Develop SOCIAL SKILLS. Be talkative. Dont be afraid to show your opinions. Defend your arguments. Dont low your value just because your appearance.
8. Find something you are really good at and like doing. Something that can ATTRACT people to you.
9. Dont give up. There will always be positive and negative experiences through the way. Maybe they will be more negative at the start, maybe you will wake up depressed sometimes, but PERSISTENCE and KNOWLEDGE will lead you to success eventually.

10. It doesnt matter what your decision for the future is, dont forget that we are all here to LEARN and the most important thing: to BE HAPPY.

 

[Wyldfire]

Re: F'n American women!

Originally posted by WestCoaster
OK, the responses here have been tremendous. Totally agree with all of them. It would be tough to have a quick comeback IMO as stated in the early replies, but I liked them. Anyway, great advice.

I'm totally siding with PRL on this one. I'm soooooooo disgusted what has become of the American woman -- I can't imagine my mom EVER saying anything like this to a person, and I'm not a mommy's boy. She has class and treats people with respect. She's also a senior citizen and was brought up old school.

PRL is right, these American women are wh-res. Last week a guy on this board wrote a tale of a woman throwing beer in his face because he didn't buy beer for all her friends. The worst part with both of these scenarios are the AFC guys encouraging these women! Just once I'd like to see a gentleman with NADS stand up and say, "Listen b-tch, don't talk about people like that," ... and, "Look, don't EVER throw alcohol in someone's face again."

These wh-res (and that's what they are) unfortunately make up the majority of American women -- and they're learning early. I read on another site where a girl scout selling GS cookies called a guy an "assh-le" because he said no thanks in buying cookies. When asked where she learned that word, she said her mother. The guy said she must have a bad mother and the mother lit into him like a drunken sailor.

American women are sliding lower each day. They have truly become the lowest form of female species.

It saddens me to hear stories of guys being called ugly and having beer thrown in their face. It saddens me more that American MEN won't call women on this sh-t!

If U.S. women were called on this crap, and if more men dated foreign women they would change their sl-tty ways in two seconds. Instead, we encourage them.

In all fairness, men are no better. I've heard men say some awful things to women who are heavy or unattractive. What you're seeing is women behaving more like men have for many years. Anyone who treats another person this way is wrong and simply beneath contempt, but let's not blame this behavior exclusively on women because men have it too. If nothing else is learned from this, maybe everyone can take a second to think about how their comments can make others feel. This guy is talking about joining a monestary for crying out loud! No one should do or say things that are so emotionally devastating to others.

And to the author of this thread...YES, there are some things you can do to make your face look better. If it's that bad, you can go see a plastic surgeon and look at payment options. Don't just give up on yourself. You should NEVER give anyone that much power over you. NEVER.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Seek company with women that go to church and who value things outside the physical. Spiritual women make much better friends and wives than those lost in the clubs and who dwell in the superficial psychological and physical realm.

If you join the monastery, you should be 100% confident in your decision and this should not be an escape! I think it is a great idea and a honorable mission to seek a higher plane beyond the physical - this is a worthy pursuit. You just have to make sure that you will never regret the fact that you will never keep the company of a woman - and not ever be tormented by this.

If you are young you still have opportunities to meet that spiritual woman that you long for...just make some attempts and give it a few years before you make any drastic final decisions that will seal your fate in this regard!