I feel so down...

[HardenedSoul]

Hey guys, last night I thought just for the hell of it to go to a club. I was walking by a group of 9.5 HB's. After walking by a group of 9.5 very attractive HB's, I heard one of them say, "Damn, he's ugly." Then all of her friends just laughed and said, "I know." I got so crushed that I left the bar and just went home and cried myself to sleep. I don't even want to go out anymore. It sucks because I don't really have friends, and it's like wherever I go people take it to avoid me. I spend a hour getting ready, and think I'm looking good, and then someone has to crush me like that. Fuk this. I hate people. I'd rate myself around a 4 in looks, but to be so ruthless as to say that right in front of me (THEY KNEW I HEARD IT), geeez. I'm thinking about going back to the club again and finding her and throwing some acid in those bytches faces. Then we'll see who's uglier.

I'm an introverted person, and I'm happy to stay at home without any social interaction. I don't care really. I've used to staying at home for periods of two months without any social interaction. Actually like it BETTER than going out. All I get is mean stares and girls laughing and making fun of me as I walk by. I work out at home and feel GREAT when I'm just by myself away from everybody else.

My question here is how would you of taken such a comment from girls that you consider only in your dreams?"

 

[FreeStyleZ]

If you have high self esteem and confidence in yourself, you wouldnt have let it affect you like that. You coulda responded by saying something like "Well if thats your way of asking me to dance, i think i'll pass". Don't let it bother you man, i promise you that just becuase one girl thinks you're ugly, doesnt mean all girls will. I find myself to be pretty attractive but got told by one girl not too long ago that I wasnt as cute as I thought I was, everyone has different opinions.

 

[Slashco]

If it were me, I'd have said "I heard that", and got into a conversation with them. Without trying to be 'cool' or C&F or any other BS like that, I'd simply ask them what made me ugly, and since they obviously knew how to look good*, maybe they had some tips on what I could do to improve my appearance? Chances are they'd be so suprised at your reaction they might actually offer some good advice, and even start looking at you differently - because you've just shown that you have real confidence, and that's even better than looks. The key is to never let yourself be intimidated. Remember that Casanova, perhaps the greatest lover of all time, was never considered a handsome man - his success was due to his mind, his wit and his understanding of women.

*Say this sincerely, not sarcastically - you want to be nice, never nasty.

 

[SparkleMotion]

You should have said something along the lines of "Yeah that guy over there is pretty ugly (point to some random guy), you ladies are lucky that I showed up tonight".

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by SparkleMotion
You should have said something along the lines of "Yeah that guy over there is pretty ugly (point to some random guy), you ladies are lucky that I showed up tonight".

Honestly that will just come of as lame if you really are below average looking.... That's in my opinion atleast..

I rather like the suggestion of asking them for advice thingy.

 

[mamefan77]

beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder....

but stupid and crass is out there for everyone to see...

Don't worry dude... that rude chick will get hers someday.

What do u think about online dating? Give it a try and post your picture! It doesn't matter if 99% of the gals on there find u ugly...I guarantee u there will be some that like the way u look

 

[JJMcLure]

Originally posted by HardenedSoul
My question here is how would you of taken such a comment from girls that you consider only in your dreams?"

You are placing high importance on their comments beause you judge them as HB9.5s. What if they were UG1s? It would still be offensive but you would care less?

You think these b1tches opinion counts becuse they are HB9.5? What if a HB8.5 told you you are good looking? Would she be wrong because the 9.5s are "higher"?

The mindset that places these b1tches opinions of high value is the same one that will place them on a pedestal. They are people. Plain and simple. No better than you. In fact they're worse because they say rude and offensive things to people (putting others down - a sign of insecurity). I wouldn't want to know a b1tch like that anyway.

If they said it to you, they probably said it to a number of guys that night, a game they were playing to see what they could get away with. Don't let it get to you.

Work on your self esteem and on not caring what other people think. There is a DJ Bible article - Jerk for a day - try it.

 

[jseib]

i have to agree

When I was 18 I felt much the same way about myself so I tried online dating.. Met a girl from the computer game everquest.. I had to travel to New Jersey but that girl loved to give head like noone I've ever met.. a year later I visited a girl off yahoo messenger very fun but shy.. Within a few hours of meeting we were going crazy in her basement with her parents watching tv not 5 ft above us.. Talk about an ego boost.. Because you talk online you have instant raport and theyre generally comfortable with you.

Seriously the guys are right .. Don't take that shyte personally no matter how hot or suave you are a girl is eventually going to hit you with a mean streak.. The trick is to take it in stride and be a man.. If your a fun confident person woman will come.. they may not be HB9's but maybe HB5's .. and as long as there's a great person with you who cares.. looks fade anyways

 

[Wyldfire]

Okay, you've got two choices here. You can either plant your ass firmly on the pity pot and let this bring you down, or you can use it as motivation to improve on what can be improved upon. Stand up, brush yourself off and let's do an honest inventory of both your weaknesses and your strengths. I'll offer whatever advice I can to help you improve your looks. I am a very looks oriented woman, and a bit shallow in that respect, but Goddamn it, I really hate people who purposely and knowingly hurt the feelings of others. Those girls may have looked good on the outside, but they sure aren't anything to be impressed with or attracted to on the inside. Eventually they will get old and lose their looks, and then they will be lonely and miserable because they clearly have nothing else going for them.

With that being said...have you got a recent picture that you could show me so I can do what I can to help you out? If you don't have a picture, just do your best to tell me what you would like to improve and be as descriptive as you can be. Believe it or not...you can make a huge difference just by hairstyle, clothing and facial hair. For instance, if a guy has a receding chin or mishapen lips...a goatee and mustache can make a world of difference. Trimming brows and stray hairs can make a huge differene, too. There are a lot of things you can do if someone just gives you a little help.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Soul man, the mindset of hors are shallow and their tongues are crass. This uncouth behavior is commonplace today amongst women. Hors are extremely physical beings, they value the worth of things and people at the basest and most material level, and have no regards for people with upstanding qualities aside from their facial features.

I know of hors who have scolded men publicly for approaching them and who have tried to embarass men as if the men were unworthy of their attention and these men were average to very good looking. Many women today are 'man-haters', they have have been abused by their pimps and take their wrath out on others.

You would have never heard such comments from women 100 years ago because men would have pounced on these hors and made them eat the cement on the sidewalk. Back then women knew this so they dare not disrespect men, but hors have become brave today because their status and power as women have artificially been elevated by the modern supplicating weak male chumps who grovel at their feet!

My advice to you is to be a strong man with pronounced masculine traits... physical prowess (lift weights), strong character - stand up and fight for good principles, be determined and straightforward and do not bow down to the commands of a woman. Be a protector and a provider, keep your word and above all else keep your dignity.

Look for a woman that is looking for these qualities in a man. Look for a woman that has a strong spiritual nature and holds to the tenets of righteous principles - these women are wise and they seek the traits of a man that are more important than the physical, because they know that what determines a man to be good is not his face or his body but rather how closely he is tied to his true nature as a man and who naturally complements her nature as a woman!

Don't confuse the word 'complement' with the word 'compliment'.

 

[chimps_rule]

that sounds bad HardenedSoul, what a *****, karmas gonna come around, im careful with things like that.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Those HB 9s were alot uglier than you could possibly ever be.
Think about it.
How shallow can someone be, when they got to totally rip on an absolute stranger, right in front of him

What goes around comes around. They WILL get theirs.

 

[Doppler4000]

Two things here... First of all- Don't get too worked up about what some overbaked chicks in a club said. Most of them go there to feed their already overinflated egos by chopping guys down all night. Eventually they'll get theirs through poetic justice of some sort.

Second- Use this as an inspiration to improve yourself on the ourside. Could you be in better shape? Could you dress better? Could you use a new hair style? Once you've done the best you can do with your natural assets then get back out there (but avoid the clubs this time and maybe you'll find some chicks with a little more substance).

 

[squirrels]

Re: Re: I feel so down...

Originally posted by JJMcLure
You are placing high importance on their comments beause you judge them as HB9.5s. What if they were UG1s? It would still be offensive but you would care less?

You think these b1tches opinion counts becuse they are HB9.5? What if a HB8.5 told you you are good looking? Would she be wrong because the 9.5s are "higher"?

The mindset that places these b1tches opinions of high value is the same one that will place them on a pedestal. They are people. Plain and simple. No better than you. In fact they're worse because they say rude and offensive things to people (putting others down - a sign of insecurity). I wouldn't want to know a b1tch like that anyway.

If they said it to you, they probably said it to a number of guys that night, a game they were playing to see what they could get away with. Don't let it get to you.

Work on your self esteem and on not caring what other people think. There is a DJ Bible article - Jerk for a day - try it.

DAMN good post. I was going to say something similar but you just about covered it.

You know what...all of us aren't given great looks. Some of us ARE downright ugly. But how many times have you seen a hot girl with an ugly-azz guy and wondered, "How does he do that?"

I'm gonna tell you this much...clubs are very looks-oriented and superficial places. They're not much for conversation. If you dont' look good, you better be a damned good dancer or you're NOT going to get much play there.

But for "real", F what those girls say. The one thing that you don't realize is that THEY are just as single as you are.

They're just chicks. That's all.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

When I was 18 I felt much the same way about myself so I tried online dating.. Met a girl from the computer game everquest.. I had to travel to New Jersey but that girl loved to give head like noone I've ever met..

I played everquest for a while too, but had to quit like 2 years ago because u cant have a social life AND excel in that game. I dunno if i would ever travel though to meet up with a girl. How'd u get there, drove urself?

 

[Mr.Hash wid da Stash]

Hey pal,
First up, forget about that stuck up ho at the club. Like someone else said before me, "she was probably doing it to guys all night at the club" you weren't the first and you won't be the last, there are cruel sluts like that out there unfortunately.

All I get is mean stares

Maybe some chicks are checking you out.. but because of your low self esteem you think that all girls are just giving you "mean stares"

and girls laughing and making fun of me as I walk by

Hmm well that sux. You POSITIVE there laughing AT you, or again is the low self esteem making you think they're laughing and making fun of you? Just something to think about. I mean do they actually come out and say "you're ugly man..." as you walk by?

 

[jenna]

HardenedSoul,

I am sorry to hear about what happened with those girls. I know it hurts. I would never be intentionally cruel to anyone no matter what the circumstance. But for some reason some human beings with low self esteem seem to think it is their right.

What I do not understand with this forum is why so much importance is placed on getting 9's and 10's. Let me tell you at 25 years of age I have had a lot of "friends' who are beyond gorgeous.

A majority of them were selfish , jealous and rarely have good things to say about others because they like to make themselves feel superior. You can be perfect,and they will find a flaw if they need that ego boost.Am I stereotyping, I don't know. Perhaps. But I have always noticed that girls who were pretty but not gorgeous were not as competitive or had the need reassurance . They always made good stable friends who were not so self absorbed.

My mother always told me to never rely on my beauty . There will always be someone better looking,smarter or richer. Those girls will eventually learn that. But it will be too late. They will be 40 and aging,and the men will stop chasing them and they will feel be rejects Why? Because they never developed a soul.



Why anyone would want to deal with that, I don't know. Also, every couple I have known with a gorgeous woman/plain man has been one where I think alot of the men put up with lots of BS to have this trophy. Whether it's money,kissing butt, little sex, lack of affection or just plain putting up with her self absorbed attitude.

I watched a program "Single in LA" recently in which one girl was "in love" with a guy who basically was giving her a hard time. All the while she was talking to her friends she would talk about how she could do better than him,but for some strange reason whe really liked him( yeah, he ignored her). Well, at some club she got angry because he happened to say another girl was pretty. She flipped out (because she should have all of the attention)and started telling him how she could get anyone she wanted because she was "Drop dead beautiful".
How all the hot guys who hit on her would ask he what she was doing with him(I guess he should have been grateful this crazy girl doing him this favor) and her friends thought he was fat and ugly.
It was painful to watch. I was waiting for this guy to really let her have it, but he just left. I thought how typical. Sure we see those couples walking down the street everyday, but seriously many of these guys are putting up with a lot to have this girl, trust me.

Understand many of these girls may seem perfect on the outside, but a majority have issues in the long run will make them a bad choice for a relationship.

Be who you are and understand not to let bitterness get to you. That will destroy your best attribute, your heart.You have beauty on the inside and that will count for much more in the long run.

After the age of 25, there are a lot of women who are sick of the jerks out there and the treatment they give. many girls will be looking for a reasonable guy like you.

Please do not mistake that to mean you have to be a pushover or weak. Never do that. Always stand your ground, be your own man. Take care of yourself physically, mentally have ambition and you will be very sought after by cute girls.

 

[lerxst]

HS, I'd have said something along the lines of "what is it about ugly guys that turns on?" or any other smart assed comment to put her in her place, but say it with a sly smile and hard EC until she breaks EC. This is like a neg-hit from her. Throw that sh!t back at her! Girls like that are trying to assert their power over you and are testing you to see if you are a Man. Really, how many people go out of their way to insult someone like that? Seems like the girl was trying to get your attention, though sometimes they don't go about it in the nicest ways. As they say, even bad attention is better than no attention at all.

Oh, and jenna, why are you advocating taking second or third place when you can go for the gold? Is that what you did with your boyfriend? Did you settle and want everyone elset too?

 

[Genghis Juan]

HardenedSoul,

Don't dispair, there is so much life has to offer and you should take advantage of it. Work on yourself, school, career and physical fitness. It will make a big difference for your self-esteem.

Don't worry about what those girls said, they just said that to make themselves feel better. Deep down inside they have low self-esteem and no soul. Girls like that lead empty lives and will end up with a jerk or make some poor sap miserable.

If you work on yourself, research the Bible and other things like the bootcamp, you will emerge from your shell.

You don't need an HB9 or 9.5 to be happy. There is a 100% chance that you will find a cute girl, that you find attractive, that will treat you right. There is hope, life is there for the taking, don't be afraid, everyone gets rejected ALOT, even good looking guys. My cousin was built like a football player, and had HOLLYWOOD good looks. Everywhere he went the girls noticed. But one thing for sure, even he got rejected, blown off, belittled by girls.

 

[jenna]

Lerxst,

I did go for the gold with my boyfriend. Does the Gold only mean a 9 or a 10?. I hope not everyone feels that way, it would be sad.
When you are in a relationship with someone you are attracted to, who is reliable and good hearted, makes you feel safe ,secure and loved is there anything better? That is Gold.

Looks fade. All I am advising is not to put so much emphasis on perfect looks alone. Most of the time it comes with lots of issues. Now if you are just trying to score a short term relationship that may be different.

I know women who think the only guys worth dating are rich men. Is that ok?. I do not think a woman is settling for a man if he has ambition or makes a decent salary. But some of these girls would consider a woman who dates or marries the average guy who makes a decent living to be settling.Do you then agree with these goldiggers mentality?

In a "world" where it is believed a man is not Gold unless he is rich. A woman is not gold unless she is a 9 or a 10. Most people can be very sad and lonely

.
Genghis Juan, you are a wise man. Good advice.