I feel like I'm never gonna get this handled

[VastanVer2.0]

So I'm hear in bed listening to my buddy **** the **** out of some girl he met tonight, and I can't help but feel ****ty. I had a ****ing ****ty night.

First off, I've started to develop feelings for this slut that ****ed me once 2 weeks back. I thought she liked me, calling me daily etc. Tonight she invites me out to this bar (that I was going to anyways), but texts me right before saying that she doesn't want me hanging around her, and that I should pick up a girl (which I've never been able to do). Then I see her at the bar with my buddy and she's telling him that I wont leave her alone (she initiates contact a lot). Then she texts me after the bar asking what I'm doing tmrw.

Second, I didn't talk to one girl tonight. I used to be able to try to talk to girls, now can't even do that.

Third, living with the buddy that pulls girl regularly. It ****ing sucks to live with this guy when I could never do what he does.

Forth, I feel like I'm wasting my life. Like Jesus Christ, I'm already 26, have only slept with a handful of girls (no relationships), and I can't even talk to girls.

I'm not in a good place right now. And I can't sleep while hearing what's going on in the next room.

 

[Mr. Fantastic]

This is your new best friend. cheers.
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf

 

[snowdog]

So I'm hear in bed listening to my buddy **** the **** out of some girl he met tonight, and I can't help but feel ****ty. I had a ****ing ****ty night.

First off, I've started to develop feelings for this slut that ****ed me once 2 weeks back. I thought she liked me, calling me daily etc. Tonight she invites me out to this bar (that I was going to anyways), but texts me right before saying that she doesn't want me hanging around her, and that I should pick up a girl (which I've never been able to do). Then I see her at the bar with my buddy and she's telling him that I wont leave her alone (she initiates contact a lot). Then she texts me after the bar asking what I'm doing tmrw.

Second, I didn't talk to one girl tonight. I used to be able to try to talk to girls, now can't even do that.

You judge yourself too much. And ignore that chick you're talking about. If she makes you feel like this, walk away.

Third, living with the buddy that pulls girl regularly. It ****ing sucks to live with this guy when I could never do what he does.

As long as you actually believe this, you will never get further. Positivity and believing in yourself is key.

When I look back on my personal progress, I can see huge improvements over the years. This went very slow, especially at first. I've been discouraged a lot and have had a whole lot of sh*tty moments, but I never stopped believing in myself and the positive outcome. This has been by far the most important aspect for me to get better at this.

Forth, I feel like I'm wasting my life. Like Jesus Christ, I'm already 26, have only slept with a handful of girls (no relationships), and I can't even talk to girls.

Again, you're being hard on yourself. Thinking like this doesn't help you.

There are two options: cry about it, or getting it fixed.

I'm not in a good place right now. And I can't sleep while hearing what's going on in the next room.

That sucks.

You sound a bit depressed to me dude. How are the other aspects of your life handled at the moment?

 

[VastanVer2.0]

You judge yourself too much. And ignore that chick you're talking about. If she makes you feel like this, walk away.

I know I judge myself a lot, the truth is I hold myself to high standards. I've done a lot in my life, lots of crazy **** most ppl will never do. So I do believe I should be excellent with women, when the truth is I'm ****ty with them (with exceptions that occur probably because I'm good looking, like the girl I'm talking about).


As long as you actually believe this, you will never get further. Positivity and believing in yourself is key.

When I look back on my personal progress, I can see huge improvements over the years. This went very slow, especially at first. I've been discouraged a lot and have had a whole lot of sh*tty moments, but I never stopped believing in myself and the positive outcome. This has been by far the most important aspect for me to get better at this.

I try to think positively most of the time, but occasionally some negativity creeps in.

Again, you're being hard on yourself. Thinking like this doesn't help you.

There are two options: cry about it, or getting it fixed.

I'm not sure how to fix this. It's some ****ed up fear, because they are just girls, in fact most of them are inferior to me.

That sucks.

You sound a bit depressed to me dude. How are the other aspects of your life handled at the moment?

The other aspects of my life are ok. I'm happy where I am in my career (finishing school for the second time). I'm in good health, although I want to hit the gym more and get my 6 pack back. The only part of my life that I feel isn't progressing is this ****.

Read the bold.

 

[snowdog]

I know I judge myself a lot, the truth is I hold myself to high standards. I've done a lot in my life, lots of crazy **** most ppl will never do. So I do believe I should be excellent with women, when the truth is I'm ****ty with them (with exceptions that occur probably because I'm good looking, like the girl I'm talking about).

What does "crazy ****" mean? Drugs? Mountain climbing? Did you fight in a war? What?

I'm not sure how to fix this. It's some ****ed up fear, because they are just girls, in fact most of them are inferior to me.

Again, your way of thinking doesn't help you. If you go in with that attitude, your body language/non-verbal communication will give you away.

Don't put them on a pedestal, but don't think you're better than them either. Treat them as equal human beings and you'd be surprised.

Lower your criteria for success. Be happy with yourself if you successfully open them and your mood will go up.

The other aspects of my life are ok. I'm happy where I am in my career (finishing school for the second time). I'm in good health, although I want to hit the gym more and get my 6 pack back. The only part of my life that I feel isn't progressing is this ****.

It sounds to me that you aren't having fun with it. Enjoy the progress. Treat this whole thing just as life; it's a journey, not a destination. It's supposed to be fun. If you aren't enjoying yourself doing this, you're not attractive. Chicks just wanna have fun. Do you offer value to them, or are you an energy sucker?

How much have you done to get better at this, by the way? Do you go out a lot? Do you force yourself to walk up to hot chicks? Do you practice during the day?


Just keep at it, man. I'm living proof of that it doesn't matter how completely hopeless you are, it's possible to get good at this.

Keep up the positivity.

 

[Jariel]

I have only ever pulled a handful of chicks in bars and clubs and every one of them were low quality, slvts and attention wh0res. When a chick drags you down, it's time to ditch her and this girl you talk about sounds like a typical attention wh0re, the type who gets off on playing guys to feed her ego. That's no bad reflection on you, some chicks are just like that and will always be like that.

Just learn to enjoy the things that are going well. There's more to life than banging slvts and there's a strange paradox that the less you care about women, the more you get. Treat them as a side activity, rather than focusing on them as a source of happiness.

 

[Rhoto]

As the priest said to Edmond in the prison:

"Once I was as you are now, but I promise, this too will pass."

Patience and Resolve are bedrock traits any man should have. There is much, much, much more to life than having a girl get wet for you.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Vastan, ask your buddy for help.

 

[terran2k]

yeah why arent you asking your buddy for help?

 

[VastanVer2.0]

yeah why arent you asking your buddy for help?

Because it's not something he can help me with. It's not like I lack knowledge. Everything he could tell me I could learn elsewhere and maybe already know (I've been studying this stuff for a couple of years). The problem is internal.

When I first got into thi stuff it was because a girl I cared deeply for hurt me. And for a bit I went nuts. I went out 3-4 times a week. I'd bounce around the club hitting on every girl in sight. I didn't know what to do but at least I tried. Nowadays I know what to do but I can't approach a girl. I'll go to the clubs and not speak to a single person.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Because it's not something he can help me with. It's not like I lack knowledge. Everything he could tell me I could learn elsewhere and maybe already know (I've been studying this stuff for a couple of years). The problem is internal.

When I first got into thi stuff it was because a girl I cared deeply for hurt me. And for a bit I went nuts. I went out 3-4 times a week. I'd bounce around the club hitting on every girl in sight. I didn't know what to do but at least I tried. Nowadays I know what to do but I can't approach a girl. I'll go to the clubs and not speak to a single person.

You're wrong, your bud can help you with motivation. If you tell him about your sticking points, he can help you overcome them. At the very least you two can become wingmen and have a good time together.

Support from your friends is one of the best ways to increase your self-confidence and motivate you. Without help from my friends, I would never have been able to make my first approach.

Don't underestimate the power of your buddies!

 

[starplayer]

I feel ya pain man.

I remember a couple years ago I got dumped and then had to listen to my housemate fvcking his girlfriend in the room above me every night. It made me feel even worse.

I'm in a similar situation right now - when I'm at bars/clubs I know what to do, what to say, etc. but I haven't got the balls to talk to girls like I used to. I need my confidence back because I'm in a bad slump right now.

One thing that keeps me going in tough times is knowing that it WILL pass. The good times will be back again.

I also somehow have this belief that it's all gonna work out for me one day. From where I am right now I don't know how exactly, but I'm sure it will work out for me in the end. If it doesn't then I don't even want to think about it...

 

[nismo-4]

All I know is that when you got a buddy who's good with chicks, he often times won't share that kind of success, and the growing number of desperate males who have or are using PUA material doesn't help.

Judge nismo is gonna tell you what you need to do. Go in like you own the joint. Get rich. Get some new clothes. Don't go out with your buddy so much. Go meet chicks alone. Make money. Keep your head up. Stop being negative because you'll involuntarily show it in your body language. Get a social circle. Own a club. Become a DJ. Hit the gym or P90X. Get wingwomen. Get plastic surgery if you're ugly. Gain popularity. Up your confidence. It helps to get something to be confident in.

The point is, stop crying. You now have two options. You can either keep crying or get a hold of this area of your life. That's my ruling.

Case closed. Handle your business cuz nobody's gonna spoonfeed you this sh*t.

 

[mustfirstregister]

welcome to the AFC team.

 

[RSanders219]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsmybQKpmTw