I feel like I'm going crazy

[SayWhat]

Hi

Lately I'm getting angrier at myself and at the world. I'm getting afraid because it gets worse and worse and I fear that I will end up needing some serious help. I'm mad at myself because there is just no progress. I have no plates, I never had. There is this girl at work I like, I just don't speak to her out of fear of rejection. But in my social life, there are no girls either. I'm getting tired of being alone at the age of 28 and with no prospect whatsoever. I'm getting tired of probably all the missed opportunities I had in my life if I would have been a bit more social.

Some other examples of my changing personality:

- I start to get pissed at people who are so stupid, they become excited about celebs and try to be like them. They are constantly on FB, posting stuff about other people just to show other people that 'hey look at me I like something that is cool, what do you think of me now'. The viral picture of the Samsung presentation with the VR and Zuckerberg basically sums up my feelings towards most people nowadays. And don't get me started on duckfaces. One thing I do like about these people is the fact they all seem very happy.

- if I read in the newspaper that an adolescent has died in a car crash due to too high speed or drinking, I think 'good riddance'. I know this is a very bad way of thinking because there are people who are in grief because of this, but I can't help it, it's their own fault

- I get more and more aggressive, I tend to honk at other cars for very very minor things they did 'wrong'. I yell in my car just because I have a bad day.

- etc...

 

[LiveFreeX]

Goto Asia.

 

[Serenity]

You're turning into an a$$hole, you gotta direct that anger into something more constructive. Being pissed at the world haven't gotten anyone anywhere, at least I didn't get anywhere just being angry and blowing steam all over the place.

Anger is a powerful motivator if you can direct it rather than having it direct you. Use it to find solutions that will work, use it for nothing else. Re-frame it as being angry at yourself because you're not doing what you know will work out of stupid fears, get angry at your fears because that's the culprit here. The logical solution is of course to ignore fear and drive yourself to action with your anger, but do so controllably or your efforts will be in vain.

You obviously feel regret at all the chances you didn't and keep not taking. There's gotta be a lot more chances and thus a lot more regret and pain as you see them drift away. This is a certain pain, you know you will suffer if you let your chances slip. Rejection is an uncertain pain. So ignoring your fear doesn't guarantee rewards, but ignoring your chances guarantees your pain. The choice is pretty obvious and straight forward if you consider this, it's better to risk rejection than to move towards certain doom.

 

[Yewki]

I have no plates, I never had. There is this girl at work I like, I just don't speak to her out of fear of rejection. But in my social life, there are no girls either. I'm getting tired of being alone at the age of 28 and with no prospect whatsoever. I'm getting tired of probably all the missed opportunities I had in my life if I would have been a bit more social.

You're placing too much emphasis on girls, and trying to put the cart before the horse. You said you wish you were more social. Ok, start there. Start making small talk with people. Find people who are likeminded. Get involved in social events with these people. Develop rapport. Get a social life, and the girls will follow.

 

[zinc4]

Go to Thailand party with a bunch of Thai bar girls....just to get some sexual experience under your belt and you will see these hos ain't nothing.... None of them.

A little secret, women are subconsciously replelled by guys that aren't getting laid.

Stop being angry at the world because you have trapped yourself in a bubble.

Until then, go out and drink at nightclub s just to have fun and don't emphasise the girls, just people in general and you will have em trying to take u home sooner or later.

And do online dating... With a little effort, how could u not get laid?

 

[Asmodeus]

Already with that catastrophic thinking "already 28, no prospects"...
So you define yourself by women? Because you do not have any you see yourself as worthless... And this is causing your frustration. That frustration breeds a kind of hate of sorts.
I could give you advice on to how to try and meet women. However, I think that women should not be your focus here. I think it should be your self. There is a proverb... Do not wait for someone to bring you flowers, plant your own garden. The meaning is that others may bring you happiness, but the best happiness is the one you can produce for yourself. Women are not so important that they should be the main source of your happiness and your frustration. Find things you love to do, improve yourself, focus on gaining more wealth/friends/social status/fun life experiences. Women will be more attracted to this too, as a side benefit. But the real benefit is in making yourself complete... Instead of finding a woman to complete you.

 

[bigneil]

28 is prime for a man. Tom Brady won a Super Bowl at age 28, and at age 38.

You SHOULD be angry at stupid people and stupid drivers. They cost us time and money and can't get out of their own way.

But you probably need to start eating more raw, green, fresh, local, organic, ideally home-grown food.

 

[Asmodeus]

Oh, and also... There is no "help" for your frustration and anger... You can only help yourself here. Come to the realization that your frustration at not being able to attain women is self destructive and actually making you less attractive and less likely to actually find a woman. Women are not going to admire a man who harbors such frustration. Women can sense if you are seething in frustration. In fact 90% of our communication is through body language. Most people can sense your mood by observing and have a better awareness of it than you may even consciously have. Realize that it is you that is the main impediment to your own happiness and not a woman.
You focus on the negativity and absurdity of life instead of on how incredible the experience of life is. You do not have a depression in the psychological sense, this dissatisfaction is instead an existential crisis.

 

[wifehunter]

Peace, Joy, Love, Hope and Self-control.

From a secret source that cannot be metioned on this board.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

That fear you have of talking to that girl? Do it don't worry about the "outcome" just talk to her casually, she's not some perfect princess she poop and pees and farts just like you

 

[thatfeel]

Yeah man just start eating raw chicken breast and hamburger beat. Raw steak too. All "organic". Report back on your experience with this OP.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm convinced that men tend to feel they are not making headway because the subject at hand is too huge and overwhelming. Getting your social life in order, and trying to use the paradigms and "techniques" here on SoSuave is an enormous and often immeasurable undertaking.

The inability to quantify and measure progress is often the culprit here. In my view, we need to do two things:

1) Make it a habit to small talk all throughout the day with everyone we can. This creates a neural pathway that facilitates social smoothness.

2) Break the task down into tiny, measurable chunks and work only on them for short periods of time.

Where are you weak? Body language perhaps? OK, for the next 4 days I will concentrate all day long on moving slowly and deliberately. Next: Is my voice too high and animated or emotional? For the next 4 days I will concentrate solely on that. ON and on it goes, and we find we develop an internal bank from which we can withdraw in social situations.

I've learned in life that the key to success is to measure and quantify. I need to be able to see and internalize my progress. Create a measurement system. Compartmentalize. Over time you will find that you are making real headway.

You must discipline yourself to positively identify ONE thing that you're going to practice for the next few days. This technique will turn you from flailing around as an overwhelmed man (understandable because the subject is so huge) into a man who has purpose and direction. Kill the overwhelm by identifying and valuing the tiny next step.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Once you get a girlfriend over in Asia, you will completely forget about your life at home, you won't care about b1tches or their problems/drama/lives at home. Take Zinc's advice, thailand all the way, but make sure you look for a girlfriend who is NOT A BAR GIRL, that is a gateway to aids... find some chick at a uni and get her tested. At 30 I went to China and within 2 weeks had a girlfriend. The second time within 3 days and she turned out to be my wife. This comic is no bs:

If you aren't into Asians, there are tons of places in the world that are great, Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay... its the samesh1t. Go on an adventure and you become a different person as soon as you step off that plane. Back home you flip burgers, in whatever other country you can be anyone you want.

 

[Darth]

Hi

Lately I'm getting angrier at myself and at the world. I'm getting afraid because it gets worse and worse and I fear that I will end up needing some serious help. I'm mad at myself because there is just no progress. I have no plates, I never had. There is this girl at work I like, I just don't speak to her out of fear of rejection. But in my social life, there are no girls either. I'm getting tired of being alone at the age of 28 and with no prospect whatsoever. I'm getting tired of probably all the missed opportunities I had in my life if I would have been a bit more social.

Some other examples of my changing personality:

- I start to get pissed at people who are so stupid, they become excited about celebs and try to be like them. They are constantly on FB, posting stuff about other people just to show other people that 'hey look at me I like something that is cool, what do you think of me now'. The viral picture of the Samsung presentation with the VR and Zuckerberg basically sums up my feelings towards most people nowadays. And don't get me started on duckfaces. One thing I do like about these people is the fact they all seem very happy.

- if I read in the newspaper that an adolescent has died in a car crash due to too high speed or drinking, I think 'good riddance'. I know this is a very bad way of thinking because there are people who are in grief because of this, but I can't help it, it's their own fault

- I get more and more aggressive, I tend to honk at other cars for very very minor things they did 'wrong'. I yell in my car just because I have a bad day.

- etc...

You sound like me years ago. You're getting sick of society's fake-a$$ 2016 rules. This is good because it is a spur for internal change. Keep it up and you could be truly exceptional.

 

[SayWhat]

The f*ck? I'm not going to Asia to get myself a girl who doesn't love me. I need to put myself out there, but I don't know what happened in my life that makes me so afraid of rejection.

 

[RedBear]

Whether you are afraid or not, is not important. You must do. Practice is everything!

 

[zinc4]

The f*ck? I'm not going to Asia to get myself a girl who doesn't love me. I need to put myself out there, but I don't know what happened in my life that makes me so afraid of rejection.

Your mindset is crooked......women want men that don't need nor want "love"...

Use them for their bodies.... The rest will fall in place.....

Most of Asia is freaking amazing by the way...dating in the US pales in comparison....its just freaking wild over there...

 

[ubercat]

The f*ck? I'm not going to Asia to get myself a girl who doesn't love me. I need to put myself out there, but I don't know what happened in my life that makes me so afraid of rejection.

you're obviously rejecting something before you ve tried it. I've dated and lived with a variety of women from all over the world. to quote scar Asian girls are loyal like bulldogs its bred into them. They will tolerate your f*** ups as long as you don't act like a ***** all the time. they love to cook for you and are amazing in bed.

so what exactly are you not liking so far?

send whatever country you're in there will be plenty of Asian girls there already u don't have to emmigrate. try it but I warn you you might not go back I didn't.

 

[Asmodeus]

"I need to put myself out there, but I don't know what happened in my life that makes me so afraid of rejection."
Fear will never lead to success, particularly for women. Think they want a man who is afraid to even approach them? No, they are attracted to fearlessness.
Women already have a pvssy...
They do not want another one.
If you are going to let your fear conquer you, than you are giving in to weakness. That is your choice. You will find that the more you put yourself out there the easier it becomes. Sure you may get rejected, heck it may be more often than not but you will soon become more tolerant of it, more accepting of the rejection. That and the more you put yourself out there the more likely you are to succeed. Like Michael Jordan said you miss 100% of the shots you do not take.

 

[SayWhat]

I know that, but let me give an example of what might be the issue. I've had a relationship with this girl that ended 7 years ago. We have the same group of friends so I keep seeing her often. Normally she invites me as well as she plans on going out or do something at her home. Our 'relationship' between us have times where we act friendly and times where we basically ignore each other and don't even look at one another. Yesterday she invited her (and thus also my) friends to her home, but she didn't invited me. She has never done this before. This only makes me in a much more negative state about myself.

And about the Asian girls, I mean no disrespect whatsoever, some of these girls are honest and are really into the relationship, but for me the thought 'it's the last option I have, it's a sign I can't get a girl from my country to like me, so I have to go the easy way' will always be in the back of my head. Again I mean no disrespect...