I failed to act, because I AM SCARED

[mr.uk]

Just been out tonight and saw a HB8 who is back from uni who i havent seen for ages. Since i was in school with her my confidence and dress sense and overall wellbeing has come on leaps and bounds..i think she was abit thrown by how much i have improved myself.

Things were going well..she was asking questions back, touched my bracelet..was generally showing alot of interest although she was fighting it (i think thats because of what she knew me like before and her friends were there she wondered whatthey might think i guess).
Then the big IOI came. I said

"You know, ripping up beermats is a sign of nervousness" (this is what she was doing.

She replied "No, I'm sexually frustrated actually" and looked into my eyes.

At this point i knew that showing some balls would earn me a K-close, although i didnt know how to get me and her away from our group in a normal seeming fashion. (help please fellas?) noisy bar atmosphere us all sat at a table.

But what i discovered was that i was really, really scared that I might be able to pull this girl. I was trembling...shaking and i didnt know why.

I lost my V plates at 15 and havent had sex since. I didnt even want to lose it either i was talked into it by her.

But back to my state in this bar...i was sitting next to her and i literally didnt know how to approach the situation. i couldnt go for it feeling so nervous..how is someone gonna feel if you are shaking getting off with them?!?!

How can i stop this nervousness from happening when i get a massive IOI?!?!
This is so annoying i have so much potential and at the moment its all going to waste!

 

[chancer]

Treat your nervousness like excitement. You're excited aren't you? Each time you feel like this, push it to the next level. The absolute worse thing that could happen is that you walk away, as you were before. So think positive. EXCITED, not scared... Keep approaching and in time, you'll be missing the feeling.

 

[ARrocket]

Regret is the cancer of life.

Keep that in mind. You only live once, go for it. To quote Bon Jovi, "I just wanna live while I'm alive"

When she said "I'm just sexually frustrated" and looked at you, it was time for some C&F to intensify her attraction. Something like "that's because you haven't been around amazing guys like me for so long."

 

[gigi1]

i think that the k-close thing might have got you scared. judging by your post, you believe that you should have reacted to the 'IOI' by showing a ballsy courageous physical move, and you couldn't pull it off.

this is not necessary, and if you can't handle it (which is apparently the case), don't. instead, just take the hint she gave you and continue the conversation towards the sex thing, and then try to pull her home.

this is much easier and doesn't require huge balls or complex tactics so to take her away from the group. and it can get you laid rather than just a k-close. you just need to know to carry the conversation in the right direction. if you're scared of that as well, just practice it at home or something until you feel comfortable with it. but don't start reciting routines etc because it will sound so phony you will scare her off immediately. just learn to be a bit suave.

 

[everywomanshero]

While some women will fvck in a bar, I assume most won't. To be honest I wouldn't know because I rarely try to go very far in bars..., nothing against those who do but it's just not my thing. I don't recommend trying more than fingering inside a pub, and I've only went that far a couple of times with chicks I really didn't care much for anyway.

So from my viewpoint you didn't get within a mile of having sex with her. If you didn't get isolation, then you had very low odds of any kind of significant sex act happening. You simply must, from a non-sleasy standpoint, isolate the chick to a car, apartment, house, hotel, hell even a swing club, but somewhere that having sex is practical.

Personally, if it were me I wouldn't have made much comment about her comment, but what I would've done is had a plan all along to get her alone. Whether it's to watch a movie, see your pet monkey, whatever. I prefer to get isolation and so "it just happened" kind of thing although more & more I have to be a little more direct due to time constraints which are increasing.

 

[gigi1]

true, imo definitely don't use ****y funny. ****y funny, even in the rare events when it's used properly and actually works, is used to create initial attraction. the girl already hinted sex to you, meaning she is already attracted. if you use c/f you will come off as an arrogant weirdo (arrogant for the ****y part and weirdo for the supposedly funny part). she'll just go and fvck someone else. she tells you she's horny, this is hardly the time to start being a smartass. smart people get laid, smartasses don't. take your side.

 

[ZenGodMod]

(help please fellas?) noisy bar atmosphere us all sat at a table.

What happened to that good old line "its noisy and stuffy in here, want get some fresh air?"

You obviously need to conquer your fear. Your brain is not working cause of that.

Don't worry this situation can be saved. Just try that next time. It doesn't hint to going home to sleep with her, but its one step closer.

When your alone with her trying to catch the fresh breeze, at this point it would be easier to conquer your fear and not make a fool of yourself. You can then hint to her that you have good coffee at your place. While at your place drinking coffeee.... like i need to say the rest.

Then you figure out the rest one step at time.

 

[chancer]

"its noisy and stuffy in here, want get some fresh air?" AHHH! that would have been gold last week