I Dumped her, Did I Judge Her Too Harshly??

[soulforge]

Did i judge her too harshly?

Long Story Short

I was seeing this woman for 3 months, but started to develop some feelings for her... my gut was trying to warn me, that i am taking a risk with this girl & i was finding it hard to trust her.

I met this woman on plenty of fish dating site... i spoke to her for about 15 minutes & within 2 hours of talking to her online she drove down straight to my house.

she came straight to my house, late at around 11pm & did not meet me in a bar or pub or anywhere public

This woman claims to be a good girl, honest & with morals yet i have listed some things below that was major red flags


01) Her best friend sleeps around with a lot of men off dating sites (pof)

02) She had sex with me within 2 hours of meeting me

03) She came straight to my house at 11pm, no bar meet or public meet

04) She bought some lube & a DILDO with her on the first date

(this suggests she was coming over & was probably expecting to have sex)

05) She is a bit shady with her mobile phone & keeps it on silent around me

06) She told me, that she used to drive for a drug dealer

07) It takes her ages to reply back to my text messages & her behaviour seems shady

08) She is a single mother with 3 kids

09) She met another guy before me off plenty of fish & she went straight to his house too, just like she did with me... but she claims not to have had sex with this guy

10) She told me, this guy had just recently texted her wanting to meet up, but she claims to have said no to him.. maybe he is a back up plan

11) She has shown some interested in taking part in a 3sum or a 4sum

12) She never rings me, and i don't ring her... all our communication is by text message

13) We only meet once a week

the thing is, when she was with me, she was quite nice & buys me gifts & seems quite caring...

anyhow i decided to go ghost on this chick.... did i judge her too harshly, or did i do the right thing???

 

[:-)]

sounds like the perfect FB.

no need to eject. just don't develop feelings for her. keep her as a plate. one of many.

although why you'd develop feelings given all that you listed is beyond me. sounds like a psychological defect on your part more than love.

 

[Jaylan]

I agree with the above.

Plus, Im not a fan of going ghost on a woman unless she did something wrong. Seems douchey if the chick has been treating me well. If the woman has been a cool chick, I just tell her straight up if I decide I dont wanna continue thing. I only go ghost on girls whove played games or have misbehaved.

Anyways, if not too much time has elapsed, you can try and keep her in rotation just to keep yourself busy when droughts occur. However, if your gut is telling you to eject, then stick to your guns. Personally I would have never gotten involved with a woman whos willing to rush to my house on the first night I spoke to her online. Just seems to slutty and too risky for me.

 

[soulforge]

I agree with the above.

Plus, Im not a fan of going ghost on a woman unless she did something wrong. Seems douchey if the chick has been treating me well. If the woman has been a cool chick, I just tell her straight up if I decide I dont wanna continue thing. I only go ghost on girls whove played games or have misbehaved.

Anyways, if not too much time has elapsed, you can try and keep her in rotation just to keep yourself busy when droughts occur. However, if your gut is telling you to eject, then stick to your guns. Personally I would have never gotten involved with a woman whos willing to rush to my house on the first night I spoke to her online. Just seems to slutty and too risky for me.

the reason why i went ghost on her, was because she got disrespectful towards me...

she sent me a text one week later, saying that she wants to pick her things up, so i told her that is fine


anyhow not heard form her for a week now....

so i'm thinking, a relationship with her is 100% out of the question... would you settle for a girl like this?

so i'm thinking, maybe keep her on talking terms... incase of a drought period or some freaky sex sometime lol

 

[soulforge]

I agree with the above.

Plus, Im not a fan of going ghost on a woman unless she did something wrong. Seems douchey if the chick has been treating me well. If the woman has been a cool chick, I just tell her straight up if I decide I dont wanna continue thing. I only go ghost on girls whove played games or have misbehaved.

Anyways, if not too much time has elapsed, you can try and keep her in rotation just to keep yourself busy when droughts occur. However, if your gut is telling you to eject, then stick to your guns. Personally I would have never gotten involved with a woman whos willing to rush to my house on the first night I spoke to her online. Just seems to slutty and too risky for me.

and yes there is the risk issue... she could be banging many other guys... also could be possible BDP signs here


she has no relationship with her father
she came on very very strong, wanting a relationship with me
sex wise, she will do anything and everything including 3sums - 4sums and drinking pee lol

 

[RagingBalls]

"She bought some lube & a DILDO with her on the first date"

^This catches my eyeballs.

First DATE man...first DATE and a DILDO and LUBE?

Who the hell she thinks she's dating, a porn actor?

And man, she drives directly to your house like she's delivering pizza.

It's menstruating with red flags man.

You'll be getting yourself into a big pile of S.H.I.T.


FVCK...a DILDO AND A LUBE on a first date, i can't get over it

 

[RagingBalls]

sex wise, she will do anything and everything including 3sums - 4sums and DRINKING PEE lol

Oh, another human toilet eh? Hahaha, what's with those girls lately man, they're becoming sicker by the day. First they want your c0ck, now they even wants to drink your pee. What's happening in this world.

 

[soulforge]

Oh, another human toilet eh? Hahaha, what's with those girls lately man, they're becoming sicker by the day. First they want your c0ck, now they even wants to drink your pee. What's happening in this world.

hey man i suggested to this girl a 3sum & 4sums and she was up for it.... i was only testing her, whether i would have followed that through is another thing!

yeh dude, this girl enjoyed drinking pee, straight from my ****k lol

i suggested i invite another dude into the picture & we both take it in turns to bang you... she seemed pretty cool with that too

 

[RagingBalls]

hey man i suggested to this girl a 3sum & 4sums and she was up for it.... i was only testing her, whether i would have followed that through is another thing!

yeh dude, this girl enjoyed drinking pee, straight from my ****k lol

i suggested i invite another dude into the picture & we both take it in turns to bang you... she seemed pretty cool with that too

Wow man...That *****h gulping your pee straight from your ****k was marvelous. Sick stuff... KINKY!



I dunno what more to say man ...i am fvcking overwhelmed

 

[:-)]

The most disturbing thing about this post is that you gave your home address to a woman you've never met within 2 hours of talking to her online.

that's what i was thinking.

 

[Jariel]

From past experiences, you know as well as I do that you should never ignore red flags as they will come back to bite you at some point down the road.

This woman is bad news and you know it. As others have said, she'd be fine as a fvck buddy, but personally I'd treat her more as a one off and move on. Nothing wrong with a bit of fun, but this is not someone you want in your life, even as an acquaintance or booty call.

What this tells me is that you're aiming very low and settling for low quality chicks. A lot of guys have the attitude that a lay is a lay, and promote quantity over quality, but I think you can gain so much more from taking the exact opposite attitude. Start nexting these women, start being more selective and stop feeling the need to score with the first hot woman that makes herself available. This will have such a positive psychological impact on you and by raising your standards, you also raise your value.

I get the sense that you have the same weakness as me: you're too compassionate and suffer from white knight tendencies. I often ask myself these questions whether I judged her too harshly, whether I'm not being fair and I start thinking how I could change her and bring out her best qualities. But we have to go against these instincts and judging a woman harshly is exactly what we need to do. Think like the prize and don't accept anyone below your standards!

 

[Von Huge]

I will comment on the red flags, in bold


RUN

Sounds like a perfect "**** buddy" for when he's experiencing times of drought to me....definitely not relationship quality though - not by a longshot!

 

[soulforge]

From past experiences, you know as well as I do that you should never ignore red flags as they will come back to bite you at some point down the road.

This woman is bad news and you know it. As others have said, she'd be fine as a fvck buddy, but personally I'd treat her more as a one off and move on. Nothing wrong with a bit of fun, but this is not someone you want in your life, even as an acquaintance or booty call.

What this tells me is that you're aiming very low and settling for low quality chicks. A lot of guys have the attitude that a lay is a lay, and promote quantity over quality, but I think you can gain so much more from taking the exact opposite attitude. Start nexting these women, start being more selective and stop feeling the need to score with the first hot woman that makes herself available. This will have such a positive psychological impact on you and by raising your standards, you also raise your value.

I get the sense that you have the same weakness as me: you're too compassionate and suffer from white knight tendencies. I often ask myself these questions whether I judged her too harshly, whether I'm not being fair and I start thinking how I could change her and bring out her best qualities. But we have to go against these instincts and judging a woman harshly is exactly what we need to do. Think like the prize and don't accept anyone below your standards!

this is true... i need to shake off this compassionate side of me... i know this chick is defo not long term.... anyhow on this occassion i went with my gut instintc & ditched her ass...

i don't even think this girl is even worth having around, as a f@ck buddy... there is the health risk to take into consideration!!!

 

[The_411]

This is what gut instinct is for...

I would suggest you make a rule that if you feel like you need to ask the board then there's a strong likelihood that answer is next/avoid like the plague.

{insert red flag joke here}

 

[soulforge]

hey guys i have recieved a couple of abusive text messages from this girl...

it's funny... when i was seeing her, she was acting nice & sweet & now i am seeing this abusive, bitter, darker side to her!

anyhow, should i respond back to her abusive text???? or ignore the b@tch??

i'm thinking ignoring her & not giving her any response, would suggest that i don't give a f@ck about what she thinks & that i cannot even be bothered to respond back...

what do you guys think?

 

[soulforge]

Absolutely ignore.

Do NOT engage, it will not end

i hear what you are saying... But this chick is getting rather personal & i feel like maybe i should say something back to her

she sounds very bitter & butt hurt! that mask of sweetness & kindness she had on, seems to have slipped now

i am getting the usual guilt trip from her... claiming i have lots of issues etc etc... have you seen the amount off red flags i am dealing with from this chick?

offcourse i have issues with her... i don't trust her one tiny bit & rightly so lol



anyhow there is a ton of things i can say to her regarding her behaviour, but i think you are right, she will only come back with something else, as this girl is not capable of recognising why i got rid of her & couold not be in a relationship with her

 

[soulforge]

so guys got another text off her today, i did not bother reading it... i sent it staright to delete


should i tell her straight what i think of her? or let her get away with sending me abusive text messages??

 

[dasein]

I think you should marry her before someone else snatches her up.

 

[soulforge]

I think you should marry her before someone else snatches her up.

nah i'll give that a miss!

 

[soulforge]

wow this girl has gone nuts... got more abusive text messages from her today..

still have not sent anything back to her... i really feel like texting her back & putting her straight...