"i dont want to be in a relationship right now" WTF!! i despreately need help

[Dr Box]

Originally posted by mrRuckus

haha Dr. Box.

I was just in Virginia Beach and along Atlantic Avenue there kept being signs near crosswalks that said "Don't block the box." The gf and i thought that was far too funny.

...and no she didn't block the box!

Haha Nice, my brother saw a bumber sticker the other day that said "my girlfriend can't wrestle, but you should see her box" when he told me I laughed so hard.

 

[josh1]

Originally posted by lordson
hi guys, im in a bit of a pickle. I want to get this girl to like me.

Are you perhaps too desperate ? that turns them off.

Story starts 3 weeks ago when i met with her for lunch for like the first time in 2 years of knowing her from work. A week later i declared my feelings for her

Never declare your feelings first, and never do it from such an early time. Wait at least a few months. AT LEAST.

next day, we make out again on couch
next day, we make out again with genital touching, over underwear
few days later, once again make out with two-way genetal touching, and before we had to go she stuck her hand down my pants

Maybe you just gave her too much of you ?
You're supposed to be THE PRIZE, she has to earn her way to you, I think you came off as very easy-to-get.
Did you give her a chance to miss you ?

but always only for a bit before one of us had to leave. i saw her and called her (1-2 hours) pretty much everyday since that first outing

THAT IS SUICIDE. READ THE DJ BIBLE NOW.
Do anything to avoid talking to her EVERYDAY, and for HOURS!
You're not presenting yourself as a prize, neither are you giving her time to miss you.

the physical stuff was even before we were officially "going out", so i asked her, "are we going out now", she just sed that we should only "see each other", so im thinking, okay whatever

Wrong. You don't ask her what is the relationship, forget it. WHAT DO YOU WANT ? do you want to be her boyfriend ? go for it, don't talk about it, DON'T ASK ABOUT IT, just do it.

i really dont wanan give this one up, im so bloody depressed at the moment. she is just acting like we are just friends

You what ? you already lost. You have a chance to gain her back if you start seeing others.
Why are you depressed over a woman ? DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY WOMEN ARE THERE ?! There's probably scores of girls better than her just around your neighberhood.

How much does she have from 1/10 on:
Looks
Intelligence
Personality
Goals/Ambitions
Hobbies
Compatibility
etc. etc.

She's not the goddess you think she is, she's simply another woman, unworthy of your desperation over her. Face it.


Oh, and yes, you're probably not in love with her, but with the fantasies you created about her.

 

[green69]

Re: Re: "i dont want to be in a relationship right now" WTF!! i despreately need help

Originally posted by josh1
How much does she have from 1/10 on:
Looks
Intelligence
Personality
Goals/Ambitions
Hobbies
Compatibility
etc. etc.

She's not the goddess you think she is, she's simply another woman, unworthy of your desperation over her. Face it.

Oh, and yes, you're probably not in love with her, but with the fantasies you created about her.

I really like this post, it raises a lot of good points. I really like the part about "what does she have from 1/10 on: ......" If you look at it objectively it shows you that a lot of these dream girls people crack up aren't really all that fabulous.

The original poster reeks of AFC (but he seems like a good guy), just by saying things like "how do I get her to like me." etc. He is in love with the fantasy he created (as Josh1 pointed out.) It's so funny to me how guys (including me sometimes) get caught up in the image or fantasy of a girl rather than the actual girl themselves. When you actually get to know the REAL person you realize there are tons of girls out there who would be suitable.

Part of the reason for his desperation is he probably normally doesn't get a lot of girls. Like if I'm meeting girls left and right, things are going great - that one girl who blew me off last week doesn't mean sh!t to me. But if I'm in a slump and haven't met anyone in a while...suddenly that one girl who won't talk to you means a lot more.

Meet other girls immediately. I guarantee that if you start hanging out with other women (and this girl knows indirectly) she'll probably start chasing you. So a) you meet other people/girls...and b) more likely this girl will be attracted to you so you can't go wrong. But if you just sit there and pine for this one chick, you won't get her back and you'll be stuck in a rut for a long time...trust me.

 

[Enigmatron]

Like I think

"Savour those great moments, as they might be your last" Well with that girl anyway

but thats my saying

im not saying its over with you and her

im just saying enjoy while it lasts, this is what women are like, they change behaviour in a heart beat, just get in have a good time and get out before she messes with your head!

Good Luck

 

[RaWBLooD]

sounds to me like she thinks you want a relationship and she just wanted some good ****ing, a rare gem you might have already blown.

 

[lordson]

well thanks for all the input guys, but i think the real problem is that she really doesn't want a relationship rite now

for some screwed up reason thats why she won't go out with me

and many of you are rite, this is the first girl ive ever been with and im bloody 19 years old, i am in love with the idea of her, the idea of having a relationship

she is a girl who i wouuld like to have a relationship with, she makes me happy and i greatly enjoy being with her. but i dont "like" her, ive had one-itis before and i was completely obsessive with those girls, but its jsut not the same for this one

shes just too good a prize for me to give up so easily

okay sorry about the stupid queisotns but, what is an AFC, LTR and STR?

i know the rite thing to do now is to just give her some time to miss me, make her feel that shes missing out on something, but that could backfire and shell loose her feelings for me. or i could continue spending heaps of time with her and hoping our relationships develops to somethign more, but that could also backfire into her getting into the "hes just a freind" frame of mind

but i dont want to let this one go yet

shes currently a little annoyed at me becuase i was saying to my firned how i didn't like what she was doing to me, and how i dont know if if she ever comes back that ill be able to accept her like im just some sort of doormat. and i told her this, and shes annoyed becuse she thinks i dont understand what she means when she says she just doens't want anythign rite now. she sed the words "i dont care anymore", "i dont want u to think of me so highly, and i dont want you to make me so important to you", and "i dont want to be worrying about what youre thinking"

up until the time she got annoyed at me i thought i might still have a chance, because the way she acts around me as "freinds" is just esaclty teh same she acted around me as "seeing each other", the only diffrence was no kissing/no touching/no affection

but im not a moron i reckon i stuffed this one up. anything she still felt for me up till now is probably gone, but its not over until the fat lady sings

i just dont bloody get it, you like somebody, you do intimate things with them, and then u just feel you dont want to be in a relationship

thanks guys for this far, any more advice would be appreciated, cheers fellas

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

okay sorry about the stupid queisotns but, what is an AFC, LTR and STR?

go read the @#F@#$% bible you @#%GA AFC!
the link is at the top right of your screen. There is no use in people helping you and giving you advice if you don't put your own effort into educating yourself by reading the dj bible.

 

[RaWBLooD]

Originally posted by lordson
well thanks for all the input guys, but i think the real problem is that she really doesn't want a relationship rite now

ya so i didnt read the rest of that :woo:

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by lordson
...i need help...

too true! :crackup:

guy, you've got a lot of reading ahead of you! (bible - but you've heard that already)

the thing that sucks is that 3 yrs from now you'll look back at these 3 weeks with her and headslam a wall until you loose consciousness

 

[arutha]

Re: Re: "i dont want to be in a relationship right now" WTF!! i despreately need help

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
the thing that sucks is that 3 yrs from now you'll look back at these 3 weeks with her and headslam a wall until you loose consciousness

Pfft, a mere 4 weeks from when I did the same sort of stuff and killed attraction with this chick I was beating my head on the wall after finding this site..

The bible is huge, it takes ages to read and you will probably forget a lot of it. I started on the main sosuave site and was reading articles there, some of them are damn good. They put it logically and aren't very long. Hell its probably the same stuff, but it seems easier to read through than the DJB. Start there, get the 'ahhhh so thats what I did wrong' then stick around the forum and slowly absorb the information.

well thanks for all the input guys, but i think the real problem is that she really doesn't want a relationship rite now

Pfft you can keep telling yourself that, but it simply isn't true.. In my case, the chick said she preferred to be single and had problems with relationships, last one was 2 years ago, even her friend later said to me that she had issues, but a month later shes pursuing some other guy for a relationship.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

"shes not ready for a relationship" aka she doesnt want a relationhip with you.

She knows she has you and thats what the problem is.

Ages ago I was in love with a girl who had this whole thing about her not being ready for a relationship. I tried pretty hard to get her and even got her interest pretty high up. Two weeks after she had given me this line she started going out with another guy who was 8 years older to her.