I don't Understand Women

[dude99]

Why do they go out of their way to make male friends, and then act surprised when he doesn't turn out to be Asexual since his now asking her out.

Do women seriously think Men and women can have platonic relationships?

Where does this mentality come from, and why do women even want male friends for in the first place?

They know exactly what they are doing. They are competing with their friends for popularity and validation, and feeding their ego.

Nothing feeds their ego more than saying the words to an orbiter " you know we are just friends," but in her head she is thinking 'but keep feeding my ego and buying me free meals, and ill keep dangling just enough false hope to keep you on the string.'

 

[Who Dares Win]

Why do they go out of their way to make male friends, and then act surprised when he doesn't turn out to be Asexual since his now asking her out.

Do women seriously think Men and women can have platonic relationships?

Where does this mentality come from, and why do women even want male friends for in the first place?

Women try to extract as many resources as possible from as many as possible, many think that they are good enough in terms of company and value to be worth for those men beside sex and intimacy.

Many understand that this is not possible but egotrip from having men around them as drones.

I have female friends, we're not having sex but I extract from them much more than they extract from me, sometime I use them to boost my status and get sex from other girls while other times I use them as travel mates for boring trips I have to do.

 

[FuzzX]

Why do they go out of their way to make male friends, and then act surprised when he doesn't turn out to be Asexual since his now asking her out.

Do women seriously think Men and women can have platonic relationships?

Where does this mentality come from, and why do women even want male friends for in the first place?

TV

 

[BadBoy89]

Men cannot be friends with women the way women can be friends with men.

Women see men as a utility, a tool when they need them for something useful. Men don’t see women the same way, they can take care of themselves. A man would never brag about having 20 female friends but never having slept them. It shows his weakness. Yet a woman would brag about having 20 male friends but never slept with them. It shows her power.

If a man wants to be friends with a woman, that’s up to him. I don’t know how he can though. If keeps hanging out with any normal girl he will eventually want to sleep with her.

Back when Ive lost quite a few female friendships because I got attracted the more I hung out with the girl. Then I tried to make a move after such a long friendship and obviously the girl freaked out. Granted was never attracted at the beginning, but you keep hanging out you keep hanging out you keep hanging out, you are going to want to smash.

Don‘t know how you guys can be friends with women without wanting to smash.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Yes they can be friends. I am friends with a number of men, a couple of ex lovers are in the mix and a couple of strictly platonic men. All are great looking handsome fit men with their **** together. I wing for them, they social proof me & introduce me if I like someone and it’s all good. They meet the guy I’m dating and are a good sounding board on who’s cool. I do same for them. If they get a girlfriend I’m cool with the gf. I’m with @cola and @samspade on this 100%.

I think the key is to choose people who are at your same SMV. I don’t hang with men who are unattractive or sloppy or dense. My crew is cool as school. So am I. We all get on well just running around together because everyone is cool and nobody is pining away or orbiting anyone in the group.

I have female friends too. But I really enjoy the guys who are my buddies. We always have a blast.

 

[f(x)]

My guess is that female “friends” are necessary to build and maintain a social circle. It is probably more beneficial if they are viewed as acquaintances and kept at a distance.

I allowed myself to slip into the f****dzone once after a one year relationship and I did end up being used and manipulated. I was able to get out of it eventually but the “f****dzone drift” became obvious after a few lays.

I blame myself for that.

Live and learn I suppose. Won’t happen again, that’s for sure.

 

[BeExcellent]

The problem with this, aside being totally dishonest, is that high-quality men are completely unattracted to women with male "friends".

Women disqualify themselves by behaving in this icky way. Men of value see it for what it is and (quite rightly) don't associate with women who cultivate fake male friendships.

Nothing dishonest whatsoever in my post. And I’m dating an unequivocally high quality man. He’s met my entire friend group and likes them. I’ve met his son & people close to him.

Your opinion has no bearing on my objective reality.

 

[BeExcellent]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. All that matters is that you're happy.

But there are objective standards too, and Ho's with male "friends" are red flags for a man looking to invest in a woman.

The insinuation that I or categorically any woman with male friends is a “Ho” is shortsighted and silly.

There is no need to sling insults or slights because my reality does not line up with your belief system. That is the issue here.

I am blessed in many ways and I am content. The happiness that I have resonates and radiates outward. That is something people find attractive and thus I never lack for friends or good company. I am choosy about who I date or get into a relationship with as I know who I am and what sort of man appeals to me.
I am fortunate and have many good options at any given time so I can afford to chose according to my preferences and to desire. My friends are the same. They have many choices and are therefore able to select rather than settle.

I have wonderful people in my life. I encourage you or anyone to cultivate strong self love and real self esteem. People are drawn to self assured individuals, men and women alike. Nobody in my close friend group is an orbiter and I do not orbit anyone in my friend group either. We are all just ourselves. It’s quite nice. My feminine charms are reserved for my relationships.

The only thing I can see is that this way of being goes against your dogmatic and rather rigid viewpoint. So it bugs you. Not everything is in your control and not everyone’s existence fits in your paradigm.

Cheers

 

[Grinderman]

"I don't understand women".

Don't try.

 

[Maxinulm]

Trying to understand a woman, with your male brain, is impossible.

Women's ability to dissociate and hamster is something a man can't comprehend, and any attempt to will make a man crazy. Women edit reality in a way that you can't.

You are soooo right about the editing reality thing!!!

Best thing is when women get caught cheating and simply seem unable to accept that they are disloyal beings in this point. The fact that they enjoyed being f*cked and sucking (other) mens c*cks. They just cant wrap their head around the fact that its what they wanted or still want. It alwasys just happened like that by accident. Blablabla.

And about the platonic friendship thing. I think it exists VERY rarely. In fact i only have one girl I can call platonic friend atm. I try to proxy her to get to female friends of hers. And drink a coffee or have dinner in lockdown sometimes.

 

[BeExcellent]

Perhaps part of the disconnect is an age thing. Life at 50+ is different than life at 30+. People around me have either already done the marriage & kids thing or missed the boat on it. So paternity risk and such is not a thing in my circles and even the men who date significantly younger don’t want children at this stage in life. The proverbial wall comes for men in time just as it comes for women. Testosterone wanes and the sex drive is no longer as urgent as it once was, although certainly it’s still there. Men start monitoring their T levels, start gaining weight if they aren’t careful, etc.

Quality partnership becomes a high priority. Even my biggest player/playboy buddies would like to find a great partner who will accept them as they are and will love them without judgment. Partnerships and relationships are whatever the two people in the relationship construct. Intimacy results from deep sharing and radical acceptance. This all gets back to maturity and self awareness. If a man cannot accept who I am for example then he isn’t right for me. And vice versa.

Ive had no need to do or be anything strange. No tatoos or weird piercings, no kink, no strange sex adventures (although some of my buddies have done or do some of that)...no need to seek attention or validation. I’m secure. My friends are secure. I have edge because of where life has taken me and so I appreciate edge in a man. I have followed a unique path in life and created a reality that suits me...so I appreciate others who have done the same.

I was chatting the other day with my close friend who is an unapologetic playboy. He wants a great relationship but he refuses to have any woman dictate who he can or cannot associate with...he refuses to have a woman take away his female friends and “friends”. Many women recoil from him when they realize that sex does not capture him. Many start off saying they will accept him as he is and then they go sideways because they can’t and he is immovable...

Im similar in that I’m not going to ditch long standing loyal friends of many years who have had my back when the chips were down for a man who is that insecure or immature. My friends want to see me happy just as I want to see my friends happy. And I have no desire to strip away a man’s long-standing friends either. People are not objects to possess or restrict. The best relationships happen because two people choose one another and things evolve according to how those two people relate to each other, themselves and the world around them.

If you want to understand women, OP, seek to understand yourself. Once you understand yourself you’ll draw women who are suited to understand you because you’ll know who you are.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

This thread shows some new blood on the forum, welcome all.

You shouldn't put women in these generalized boxes. Not all women are so insecure that they need to play everyone in their lives. There are women of high value, you must believe this if you ever want to meet them.

You're responsible for your perception of a woman. And any person's actions can be perceived in many different ways.

If you sense yourself being bitter or demeaning towards women (or anyone), then understand that indignation spawns from feeling threatened. Your time and attention are completely in your control, thus the consequences of your investments are your responsibility alone.

When I meet a woman, I don't even think about sex. Sex is easy, abundant, and generally worthless, no matter how good the orgasms feel. I focus on fostering a fun environment when around others, the sex will come if we enjoy each other enough.

In this model there's room for friends, fwb, STR, marriage material, and everything in between.

If you never undermine your principles, self worth, and dignity, then you don't have to polarize everything under a microscope, and what a woman says/does never gets under your skin. There's no fear, you can let your creativity manifest naturally, enjoy being in the moment, and roll with the punches.

That's what being smooth, suave, and low maintenance is. No matter what happens, you always have a contingency plan that you're happy to execute.

I may validate a woman simply by making eye contact, does that mean I shouldn't?

Take the pressure off, enjoy yourself, give. The best relationships are never forced, rather they feel so natural and effortless that you would swear women are falling in your lap.

 

[Robert28]

I hate women that want to be just friends. I have absolutely no use for them.

 

[Xenom0rph]

OP, the answer is quite simple:

1) Attention
2) Validation
3) Insurance policy

The first 2 are pretty obvious. The 3rd is not quite as obvious. Women want to keep a handful of docile, pliant, supplicant men in their orbit in case some sh1t happens (like for example they need money or someone to do some degrading task for them) and they can use these weak-minded men.

Only be friends with women whom you have no sexual interest and whom might be able to offer you something useful - like for example connections to social and professional circles.

 

[f(x)]

But chicks aren't that complicated. They're super easy to understand. A lot of men just can't step out of the male paradigm and get on the right wavelength.

Please explain this part.

How do I step out of the male paradigm and get on the right wavelength?

What is the male paradigm and right wavelength?

Thank you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Women know exactly what they are doing to a degree. I will slightly disagree with the people in this thread that seem to be suggesting they are completely ignorant of that.

Women want male attention/validation. Hot women especially. This is why the higher on the "HB" scale they are the more male orbiters they tend to have. These women absolutely know that their male orbiters are attracted to them - at least initially. Where they misunderstand how men operate is assuming that the man loses sexual feelings for her once they become "friends." They then act shocked when the male orbiter - after months of acting beta and finally works up the courage - asks her to go do something 1 on 1 that has a romantic element to it. I think women think that once they put the man in the friendzone there is some understanding they are just buddies. Men who understand women aren't even around at that point - because we understand a true platonic relationship (where we don't want sex from them if they are hot) is not possible and that type of relationship is purely beneficial for only the woman (I disagree it offers any type of social proofing to the man).

The only time I think a truly platonic relationship with a woman is possible is if she is your childhood friend (basically family) or she is buddy's long term girlfriend/wife (not that this stops everyone!). Everything else is not truly platonic - despite what these women believe.

Women get mad when male orbiters try and step out of their "role" because in their mind they agreed to be in that role in the first place and to the woman it comes off as them being sneaky and manipulative by trying to "be friends" and use that as a way to get in their pants. And it is...and also very unmanly.

And they are disgusted by both of those things once it comes to light.

 

[Robert28]

Women get mad when male orbiters try and step out of their "role" because in their mind they agreed to be in that role in the first place and to the woman it comes off as them being sneaky and manipulative by trying to "be friends" and use that as a way to get in their pants. And it is...and also very unmanly.

And they are disgusted by both of those things once it comes to light.

But I bet those same women made those guys do boyfriend type things. Take her out to lunch and pay for it, but her crap, endless favors, etc. Screw them and what they think. Fvck their friendship too, I don’t want it, they’ll die alone anyways.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

But I bet those same women made those guys do boyfriend type things. Take her out to lunch and pay for it, but her crap, endless favors, etc. Screw them and what they think. Fvck their friendship too, I don’t want it, they’ll die alone anyways.

Nobody "makes" anyone do anything. Did they hold a gun to their head and force them? Kidnap one kf their loved ones?

No...of course not. They do it of their own free will.

 

[Robert28]

Nobody "makes" anyone do anything. Did they hold a gun to their head and force them? Kidnap one kf their loved ones?

No...of course not. They do it of their own free will.

They were manipulated into doing it. Manipulation works on men and women, look at how easily the government manipulated people into wearing masks.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They were manipulated into doing it. Manipulation works on men and women, look at how easily the government manipulated people into wearing masks.

No. The only manipulation going on is by the men who think being friends with them is going to get them laid. Lets be real honest. Read the post from the guy who was friends with a woman for 4 years and then one night was high and grabbed her tits and played with her pvssy as she lay next to him in the bed...