I don't think it's about women to begin with.

[moneyisking]

Hey gentlemen. I have changed my view on dating and seduction in past few weeks. To tell the truth, this whole "getting women" and "banging women" is not about how you can fvck her. It's about you.

Ya sounds dam common. But bear with me. I realized that I will not expect to get girls for a while. Why? B/c if I really look inside myself and examine myself, I am NOT happy and comfortable of who I really am.

That is why I decided to lay off women until I finally become happy and comfortable under my own skin. Imagine this. If you are sitting on a chair, and next moment, a HB that you know drops by your room and you fortunately have sex with her. Is this sh!t really going to make you happy?

When she's gone, would you still be happy and feel confident/comfortable everytime you approach a girl? Hell NO. So the whole thing is not really about having sex w/ multiple number of girls. I finally get to understand little bit about the statement "Happiness does not come from women or sex"

Real happiness and comfort come when you're happy, confident and comfortable, duh. So my goal is, not to have sex with as many girls I can. No. It's to feel confident and comfortable around any girl and to play what I learned in seduction while being myself.

After I changed my view, I have been a lot more calm around girls when I am talking with them, and I project myself better by not thinking about all seduction sh!t while I am talking.

Fellas, there are a lot more to seduction than getting girls. To me, it's about feeling comfortable and finding myself. Until then, I will not expect to get any girls.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

Good stuff!

 

[YAboi]

Bravo!

nice, very nice (*applauds*)....... +1rep.

I gotta add that things like money , cars , status and the rest matter quite a bit when dealing with the opposite sex because of the way chicks are wired by evolution.

But..... if you have all those things and you are a stuttering mess, you will still be screwed. You need to work on your inner game because it is this that allows you to actively create the persona (which is congruent and not faked confidence) you want to have which in turn will attract the babes due to you looking and being comfortable in your own skin.

In other words , if you have no innergame you are like a soldier in the airforce who has been given a jet but cannot fly it. Your colleagues will give you automatic respect without having seen you fly but when its finally time to fly the plane and you cant do it, they will see you as a complete phony.You will be worse off than the guy who is being taught how to fly the plane and is seen as a newbie at first but can actually fly the plane when the time comes.

There are guys who wear some outfits like biker or rockstar gear but it just doesn't go with their personalities , thats because they are lacking in inner game and don't believe in who they are and what they are choosing to represent with their clothing.

E.g before getting my innergame handled, I would never have dreamt of ever doing doorwork (i.e being a bouncer at venues, although its a temporary job at the moment cos I WILL GO ONTO BIGGER THINGS IN THE FUTURE). My job obviously gives me a bit of status (in the females eyes) but if I was still unconfident and I went into this job, I would look and be seen as extremely awkward.Therefore the status would not help for sh1t .

It reminds me of a scene in the movie American psycho where christian bale is sitting on a couch with a couple of prostitutes (2) that he has hired. He makes a distasteful, sexist joke which leads to an awkward silence. If he had stuttered at that point, the hoes could have left or been extremely turned off but he just brushed off the awkward moment and kept saying what he was saying with full congruency and confidence.


This led to him banging the chicks . Believe it or not yeah..... even prostitutes can reject your advances if you are too awkward and shy because they will be afraid of you hurting them during sex due to your violent awkward movements or worse they may fear that you are a silent but deadly serial killer OR they may be so turned off and will fear that they won't get wet/aroused for you.


Stuff like us occasionally judging members reputations on this site based on the number of notches on our bedposts, is us putting women above us and as a main importance when we really should be focusing on improving ourselves in every single area and facet.

 

[Proselytiser]

Yeah, I think this is a good post. When most junior PUAs set out to get better with women, it's because they lack the confidence in themselves that you described. They see women as able to fill that hole. So inevitably they are placing women at a higher value.

 

[moneyisking]

Ya thanks for your inputs. Of course, what I am stating does not come easy. It takes quite a while and A LOT of practice with women. But since I am talking to girls daily, I will get this down one day. A huge mistake that developing PUAs make including myself is that woman is the goal. But thank god all the awkwardness and feeling horribly bad after interactions with girls brought me to this point. I really want to feel comfortable for who I am. I don't want to get disgusting twitch in my brain and internal organs when I am talking to girls (aka nervousness). It's really cool feeling to feel calm and comfortable while talking to girls. I am still slipping away from time to time, so I have to get this down before getting a girl, b/c I not only sure that I won't get a girl like this, but also I will not keep one even if I get one right now.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

I think of this in terms of time.

Sure, I'd like to look back and know I banged all the hot women I could. But history does not remember how many women I was I with, and even if it did, imagine that hollow feeling on your deathbed...

History doesn't remember the women.
History doesn't remember the trials and tribulations you encounter along the way.
History remembers PERFORMANCE.
History remembers Julius Caesar and Andrew Carnegie.

And how better could it be said, the real difference between those we remember and those long forgotten, was in how they spent their TIME.

 

[DonJuan11]

Hey gentlemen. I have changed my view on dating and seduction in past few weeks. To tell the truth, this whole "getting women" and "banging women" is not about how you can fvck her. It's about you.

Ya sounds dam common. But bear with me. I realized that I will not expect to get girls for a while. Why? B/c if I really look inside myself and examine myself, I am NOT happy and comfortable of who I really am.

That is why I decided to lay off women until I finally become happy and comfortable under my own skin. Imagine this. If you are sitting on a chair, and next moment, a HB that you know drops by your room and you fortunately have sex with her. Is this sh!t really going to make you happy?

If someone came and paid your mortgage off, would you be happy? You are being completely completely illogical trying to make up for your own shortcomings.


When she's gone, would you still be happy and feel confident/comfortable everytime you approach a girl? Hell NO. So the whole thing is not really about having sex w/ multiple number of girls. I finally get to understand little bit about the statement "Happiness does not come from women or sex"

You are delusional. Happiness does not come from women or sex? You are telling if you were dating Angelina Jolie or Sharon Stone back when, you would not be happy? It appears you are so frustrated with your own life you are trying to convince yourself otherwise.

So my goal is, not to have sex with as many girls I can.

Translation: If I don't try, I won't get rejected, that way I can feel better about myself when someone asks about my sexual experience or if I had a girlfriend - I will tell them I'm not even trying.

If you want to trick yourself in believing as such, go ahead. Just don't be surprised if the girl you are with is surprised you haven't slept with more than 1 girl in your late 20s. Not trying to hit you down, but you have to step in up, be a winner, be a fighter if you want a girlfriend or sex.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

Amen.

After I realized that lack of women was only a symptom of why I wasn't happy rather than the whole reason and I did all this work on fixing myself, I really kind of stopped caring about getting women altogether. It suddenly didn't seem all that important. I already had everything I needed to live a fulfilling life.

Making yourself happy and not sweating the small stuff really is the only way to live. And the ironic part is that they come to you when you do this.

 

[moneyisking]

Translation: If I don't try, I won't get rejected, that way I can feel better about myself when someone asks about my sexual experience or if I had a girlfriend - I will tell them I'm not even trying.

If you want to trick yourself in believing as such, go ahead. Just don't be surprised if the girl you are with is surprised you haven't slept with more than 1 girl in your late 20s. Not trying to hit you down, but you have to step in up, be a winner, be a fighter if you want a girlfriend or sex.

I don't know how you became the Master Don Juan of this forum, but you're more simple minded than an AFC. What, did you wake up one day and become good in bed and attractive man who could get any women and feel confident and comfortable around girls? Of course not. I am thinking that you're just a very good writer, but gets no pvssy, your belief seems like worse than a chump. I will tell you this. Everyone is different. There's people like Tucker Max who can just be totally outrageous, there's people who suits Mystery's style better. There are people who work better with girls using this and that style, everyone is different. If you do get girls, you're probably just natural who in nature doesn't give a sh!t. I have tried so many different types of approaches, I read so many books and writings, and NONE of them helped me, b/c I am still weak as in person. I am not comfortable, and until I fix that, women? It's not my focus. I could throw in so many sexual innuendos and so many CF, kino, dis-connectors, etc, and yet, if I am sh!tting on my pants when I am talking to her, and nervous as fvck, do you think it will actually work? I am assuming you're very good at chicks due to your giftedness by nature, maybe that's why you don't understand my writing. It's easy to say "hey man, mastering philosophy of buddhism and ways of socrates is very easy. Just read the book". I don't think so.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Translation: If I don't try, I won't get rejected, that way I can feel better about myself when someone asks about my sexual experience or if I had a girlfriend - I will tell them I'm not even trying.

If you want to trick yourself in believing as such, go ahead. Just don't be surprised if the girl you are with is surprised you haven't slept with more than 1 girl in your late 20s. Not trying to hit you down, but you have to step in up, be a winner, be a fighter if you want a girlfriend or sex.

I agree with this.

If you don't try, you die.

YOU ARE ACTING AFRAID OF YOUR OWN SEXUALITY BY TRYING TO REJECT EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN YOUR MIND TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BEING REJECTED.

This really pisses me off, so I had to use caps, but I'm happy that I'll have a chance to break your wussy ass off a piece.

If we had no society, everybody would be the same exact social status and attraction WOULD NOT matter. You could fvck any woman you wanted and not care about rejection because you'd have an endless supply of mates to choose from. The problem with this is human nature.
So you have a woman in this society-less fantasy world, and another man takes advantage of the fact that he has the same amount of sexual power as you. Actually in a sense he has MORE because he's just fvcked your woman. And BAM! Like a flash of lightning he has achieved higher status.

The game really is a challenge. It's where men get to show their skills in the field and develop themselves into something unstoppable.

If you FORGET ABOUT WOMEN, you will be living in a world where SEX DOESN'T EXIST. You will have no wife, no future family and definitely no children to pass on your genes.

I want you to realize something: by rejecting the thought of having a woman, you are REJECTING YOUR TRUE NATURE.
You think you can't have sex with a woman, therefore in your mind, you must not be a man.

So what does this all add up to?

Well, you're creating the false reality that you need to "work on yourself" when you've already got the masculinity inside you.
It's much simpler than you think it is.
You need to re-teach yourself that your natural male desires are okay and learn to deal with them in a socially acceptable way.

You're probably going to ask me "How do I re-teach myself to be a man who is socially acceptable?" but that is not something I have the time or energy to teach you, because I'm on my own journey myself.

What I can tell you is that you need to find this power within yourself.
Read as many materials as you can, I HIGHLY recommend David DeAngelo's stuff. His audio material and ebooks REALLY helped me.


Just grab those balls of yours man and use them, instead of letting them hang. They'll love you for it, trust me.

 

[moneyisking]

I agree with this.

If you don't try, you die.

YOU ARE ACTING AFRAID OF YOUR OWN SEXUALITY BY TRYING TO REJECT EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN YOUR MIND TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BEING REJECTED.

This really pisses me off, so I had to use caps, but I'm happy that I'll have a chance to break your wussy ass off a piece.

If we had no society, everybody would be the same exact social status and attraction WOULD NOT matter. You could fvck any woman you wanted and not care about rejection because you'd have an endless supply of mates to choose from. The problem with this is human nature.
So you have a woman in this society-less fantasy world, and another man takes advantage of the fact that he has the same amount of sexual power as you. Actually in a sense he has MORE because he's just fvcked your woman. And BAM! Like a flash of lightning he has achieved higher status.

The game really is a challenge. It's where men get to show their skills in the field and develop themselves into something unstoppable.

If you FORGET ABOUT WOMEN, you will be living in a world where SEX DOESN'T EXIST. You will have no wife, no future family and definitely no children to pass on your genes.

I want you to realize something: by rejecting the thought of having a woman, you are REJECTING YOUR TRUE NATURE.
You think you can't have sex with a woman, therefore in your mind, you must not be a man.

So what does this all add up to?

Well, you're creating the false reality that you need to "work on yourself" when you've already got the masculinity inside you.
It's much simpler than you think it is.
You need to re-teach yourself that your natural male desires are okay and learn to deal with them in a socially acceptable way.

You're probably going to ask me "How do I re-teach myself to be a man who is socially acceptable?" but that is not something I have the time or energy to teach you, because I'm on my own journey myself.

What I can tell you is that you need to find this power within yourself.
Read as many materials as you can, I HIGHLY recommend David DeAngelo's stuff. His audio material and ebooks REALLY helped me.


Just grab those balls of yours man and use them, instead of letting them hang. They'll love you for it, trust me.

I never said I am going to quit. I am not going to expect to get girls, but I am aiming toward being natural and flowing the things I learned. If you thought I was gona quit, then you're completely wrong. Hell no, I am gona try, but Im the focus, not her. get your facts straight. There's nothing more ridiculous than bunch of key board jockey wannabes bashing on someone without even knowing what the hell I am trying to say.

 

[grayclif]

Money your initial post had some great points. Innergame is important but what I think they may be saying is that you can do both. In your journey of self improvement test your game with women and learn from your mistakes. It's all a process.

 

[zekko]

Money your initial post had some great points. Innergame is important but what I think they may be saying is that you can do both. In your journey of self improvement test your game with women and learn from your mistakes. It's all a process.

I agree with this. The problem with self improvement is it's a never ending process. If you wait until you have accomplished x amount of things for yourself to approach women, you could end up a 40 year old virgin with half your life gone and no experience with the opposite sex.

Self improvement should be your number one priority, but there's no reason why you shouldn't be practicing approaching women at the same time. Make it part of your self improvement process. This will help reduce your anxiety and keep you from sh!tting yourself when you talk to her, as you put it.

 

[moneyisking]

I do approach women. I don't think about "sex sex sex" all the time now when I am talking to her. I just let myself out naturally and see if sex happens or not. But if my focus becomes her, then from the experience, I become so nervous that I can't even keep up a conversation. By all means, some of you are saying I quit on women and approaching entirely. NONONONOOOOOO. You got it wrong. This is it. I am approaching women with different mindset.

Before my mindset was "oh I am alpha male who studied bunch of techniques and theories. Oh sh!t, I am talking to her, ok I must use dis-connector now, wait, use CF first. Hm, she just laughed. Nice I will use kino, then be little sexual". and sh!t like that just bogged my brain up entirely and it made me so nervous that the interaction never went the way I wanted. Now my mindset is "I am not going to think about anything. I am going to keep studying seduction, and I will just let them come out naturally." So basically my mind is blank and thoughtless when I am talking to girls. But I didn't give up on sex. I just don't make it my priority anymore. After I feel comfortable talking to girls, then I maybe have to learn how to talk to them to get them like me. There are steps to take, and the present step is what I saw as logical to take right now, b/c if I am scared sh!tless talking to girls, then things don't go very well, so I got to kill my nervousness first.

 

[Veridin]

I agree with this. The problem with self improvement is it's a never ending process. If you wait until you have accomplished x amount of things for yourself to approach women, you could end up a 40 year old virgin with half your life gone and no experience with the opposite sex.

Self improvement should be your number one priority, but there's no reason why you shouldn't be practicing approaching women at the same time. Make it part of your self improvement process. This will help reduce your anxiety and keep you from sh!tting yourself when you talk to her, as you put it.

What I was going to write. I hope to find some good advice on how to improve with women, but who says that it is the end-all and be all? It's one thing. It is perfectly all right to discuss it.