I don't know what to do anymore...

[ChrizZ]

Okay, I'm in college right now and my father finances it.

He wants me to study a major I hate so that I can work a job later on that I hate, but that makes good money.

I don't want that. I want to experience life and expand my horizon. That's why I want to study Philosophy.

I had a huge fight with my father about it and he says he is not going to finance college anymore if I choose to study philosophy.

I don't care about money. I could be a trash collector and would still be happy.

I don't want to end up like my father. He is what you would call a "slave of the system".

How can I convince him?

 

[ready123]

trash collectors actually make like 50k / yr

double major?

 

[ChrizZ]

trash collectors actually make like 50k / yr

double major?

He says I'm only allowed to study something that has good job opportunities later on.

Business, Engineering etc.

Now that's a bunch of bullsh!t.

I asked him: "Why would I want to study something I hate, to get a job I hate and to buy sh!t I don't need?"

His response: "Well son, that's just the way life is. You always have to play by the rules. Life is not all fun and play. Life means working..."

I almost threw the laptop out of my window after hearing that...

 

[KontrollerX]

Well clearly your dad cares about you and doesn't want to see you in the gutter but he's going about it the wrong way.

He should let you sink or swim on your own ability and let you persue the career that you want whether it is low paying or not.

 

[ChrizZ]

Well clearly your dad cares about you and doesn't want to see you in the gutter but he's going about it the wrong way.

He should let you sink or swim on your own ability and let you persue the career that you want whether it is low paying or not.

exactly.

He cares too much, that's the problem.

He literally had tears in his eyes and yelled at me when I said I didn't want to study business or some other sh!t...

 

[KontrollerX]

You asked us how you can convince him well I just have to ask...

Do discussions like this always turning into shouting matches between you and your dad or do you ever get a chance to explain to him calmly how much persuing this field that you want to persue means to you and that you know the risks that he is worried about should you fail but you wish to persue it anyway?

I think a lot of the time father's fears are alleviated when they absolutely realize their sons are mature and fully know the potential negative ramifications of the choices they make.

Sometimes however one side doesn't want to give and you either have to move out and risk everything or bite the bullet do what dad wants build up enough cash and save, save, save and then use the money to do the course you want to do and get out of the system grind he would have you stay in your entire life.

I think if you make it clear to him you are going to follow your dreams regardless either the easy way or the hard way he may come around.

At first though if you haven't done this you need to explain to him calmly and maturely how much your dream means to you and that you know the risks should you fail and you are prepared to try something else should you fail and work very hard to be a success at that something else should you fail.

I think you understand that your father primarily is just trying to ensure your future security and wants to make absolutely sure that you will do everything in your power to survive and thrive.

 

[HandyAndy]

Well, your dad wants the best for you, after all, you are his son, and he obviously cares about you, but then again, I think you should have the freedom to choose what you enjoy doing the most, Like KontrollerX said, he's going about it the wrong way.

 

[ChrizZ]

You asked us how you can convince him well I just have to ask...

Do discussions like this always turning into shouting matches between you and your dad or do you ever get a chance to explain to him calmly how much persuing this field that you want to persue means to you and that you know the risks that he is worried about should you fail but you wish to persue it anyway?

I think a lot of the time father's fears are alleviated when they absolutely realize their sons are mature and fully know the potential negative ramifications of the choices they make.

Sometimes however one side doesn't want to give and you either have to move out and risk everything or bite the bullet do what dad wants build up enough cash and save, save, save and then use the money to do the course you want to do and get out of the system grind he would have you stay in your entire life.

I think if you make it clear to him you are going to follow your dreams regardless either the easy way or the hard way he may come around.

At first though if you haven't done this you need to explain to him calmly and maturely how much your dream means to you and that you know the risks should you fail and you are prepared to try something else should you fail and work very hard to be a success at that something else should you fail.

I think you understand that your father primarily is just trying to ensure your future security and wants to make absolutely sure that you will do everything in your power to survive and thrive.

Put me and my father in one room.

Within 5 minutes he begins yelling at me.

I know exactly what's going on. He is depressed 90% of the time because he tries to live his life all over again...through me. He is very bitter and he was one of the main reasons why I moved out and now we live thousands of miles apart.

It is completely outside of his reality that people can actually be different from everybody else.

When I was young he would always point at people and say: "Why can't you be like that guy? He is getting straight A's in school and is so ambitious to become a doctor. Stop reading books just for fun. Money is the only thing that counts in this life and you have to work hard and kiss everybody's a$$." or some bullsh!t like that.

 

[Desert Fox]

Wow this sounds like me.

Except I want to do the things that makes me a lot of money.

Early on I realized one truth to my life: 99.999999999999% of the thigns my dad/mom told me were true. Why? They lived it, experienced it. You can't buy that or read it from a book and absorb it was deeply. You gotta either live it or trust the person you get it from.

I ****ed up many times by thinking my parents knew nothing and ignored their advice only to find myself waist deep in sh1t.

I don't make that mistake anymore and my life has improved 200%. Although I do think for myself, I hold my parent's opinion in high regard and often have to suppress the inner "rebel" in myself to make the right choice.

Live is not about what you WANT to do...but what you NEED to do.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

dude, you are wasting a good opportunity.

your father is offering to pay for your college. all you have to do is bow your head and say "yes sir"

get a "good" degree, then do what you want. you can study philosophy all you want, just don't get a degree in it, that would be a waste of money.

just pretend you are a sleeper agent that has infiltrated planet "rat race".

your mission: determine what one needs to do to be succesfull according to conventional wisdom on planet rat race. collect the education necesary to see what makes planet rat race people tick. once you do that, then you can earn money, still pretending to be a planet rat race person. once you start to make money, then you can commence your secret plan.

TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAH


or, be a garbage collector or porn star, or whatever you want.

 

[MooseGod]

There's always financial aid...a college education is expensive these days, but you can finance it and nobody can ever re-po that.

...or working. I worked full time and took 12 hours one semester with no financial aid...wasn't easy, but it's do-able.

I don't know what to tell you though man, you might just have to call his bluff. Life's too short to live it any way other than your own. I'd leave this as a last resort though.

Just remember that a bachelor's in philosophy will probably get you a job waiting tables...but if you go for the doctorate then you could probably get a pretty sweet job as a college professor. Come to think of it, that might placate your dad a bit...express interest in getting a doctorate in philosophy. There's your good job and a pedigree.

 

[ChapStick]

At least you sort of know what you want. I am still searching...

 

[ready123]

if someone else is paying your education, being able to study what you want is a luxury, not something you're entitled to. if you really wanna study philosophy that badly, then you should pay your own tuition or figure out how to earn it

your parents not gonna be around forever. if they dropped dead today, they'd at least want the satisfaciton of knowing their kid is not gonna be stuck grinding a working class income. believe me man, if you're poor you'll be fighting for the opportunity to get a degree that'll actually let you have some time to breathe. even though it's cool to cling to ideals, money matters

I still think you should compromise by going for a double major in philosophy and something semi-professional. or minor philosophy and if you really want a philosphy bachelor's, pay for it yourself out of pocket once you get a job. I could imagine philosophy and business goign togehter well

 

[schttrj]

the best advice that I can give is go to a career counsellor along with ur father. man, theres nothing wrong with a father who cares for his child's future and provides him all the resources he need. unfortunately, i never got that and i god damn know how it feels when u dont have what u need. anyways, go talk to ur pops and take him to the career counsellor and ur prob is solved.

 

[bbestar]

I don't really know what your situation is but I do know what the bible says


Book of Deuteronomy
Chapter 5 verse 16

Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

 

[ChrizZ]

the best advice that I can give is go to a career counsellor along with ur father. man, theres nothing wrong with a father who cares for his child's future and provides him all the resources he need. unfortunately, i never got that and i god damn know how it feels when u dont have what u need. anyways, go talk to ur pops and take him to the career counsellor and ur prob is solved.

Why would I want some random stranger to tell me how to live my life?

My life is not something I want to put into other people's hands. I like to think for myself.


The best way to learn philosophy is by living life instead of just letting it pass by you.

Time to follow my passion. I'll drop out of college and become a golf instructor.

That's a thought I've been playing with for a long time I just never had the balls until now to just roll with it.

 

[Wiesman44]

Chris. Do not major in philosophy. Get a minor in philosophy and study something that will earn u money later on. U say u dont need $ to be happy, but u need money to live.

 

[ChrizZ]

Poor baby. Try living in a mexican ghetto for 6 months where the only hope for a promotion is working as a cashier at walmart. They earn about 200 bucks a month... I feel for you, really I do.

That doesn't mean that they are unhappy.

I bet those people are happier than the cubicle slaves watching sitcoms all day long after work.

 

[Luthor Rex]

He says I'm only allowed to study something that has good job opportunities later on.

Business, Engineering etc.

Now that's a bunch of bullsh!t.

I asked him: "Why would I want to study something I hate, to get a job I hate and to buy sh!t I don't need?"

His response: "Well son, that's just the way life is. You always have to play by the rules. Life is not all fun and play. Life means working..."

I almost threw the laptop out of my window after hearing that...

Go read "The Fountainhead".

 

[BLebowski]

Business is overrated anyways. When I look at the high potential MBA morons who walk around here ... they couldn't manage their way out of a wet paper bag. That's not to say they're all stupid...good people managers are worth their weight in gold, but you really have to like doing it. A lot of them just do it for the extra money.

Engineering...hmm well, it's okay but philosophy sounds a lot more interesting. Same goes for psychology (I'm actually thinking of doing psych parttime myself since my compsci/engineering job is starting to bore me to tears).

Can't really tell you what to do. My parents pretty much gave me free reign in choosing a vocation/study. You have to keep in mind that in the end your parents want the best out of life for you. It's a matter of trying to convince him that for you the best out of life isn't equal to a clear cut career through corporate America.