i don't know, what do you wanna do?

[Starman]

" The only guy with a clue in this thread is Mr Boobies. Chr*st almighty what the hell is wrong with you idiots, talk about bringing out the bitterness in you."

Please help your self to a Tall Frothy Glass of Shut the fvck up juice..

no one is flaming anybody..your post oozes bitterness, and anger and and whining to the Nth degree..and you are saying we are angry?

Please put your straight jacket back on before you hurt yourself

p.s. - BP, were you Iqqi's date?? you are pretty defensive

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by bp1974
First you flame for telling us something we know already, then you whine and b*tch that she's using this guy out of boredom.

being indecisive is a BIG F*CKING TURNOFF TO ALL WOMEN

Read this until it sinks in. Women are always, always checking out the things you do, and translating it into how you are likely to perfom sexually. The way you eat, the way you walk and talk, the things you like to do, how you think. You're being watched and evaluated on all of it, and a judgment made on how you will be in bed, amongst other things. That's why being nice, boring, indecisive and like a puppy dog is such a turnoff - to a girl, it relates directly to how well you f*ck.

I'm all for open communication in an LTR, but on the first few dates you need to know what you're doing, coz she's under no obligation to tell you that you're scr*wing everything up and turning her off. Get used to it.

bp1974

I can see alot of you are going to get defensive at the way BP put this, but he put this in a basic grab your balls kind of way, and I think that is something anyone here can respect.

I completely 100% agree with everything he got out of what I said. Everything I quoted above is true with any woman. And it's not just sex either. A man's unwillingness to even put any thought into a first date?! A man's inability to come up with anything at all? He's not 12 years old. Just from that alone (well ok, and the bad mood I was in), I wanted to hang up and never talk to him again. It was draining, that conversation. You don't understand. He didn't just seem nervous or indecisive, he actually whined.

Starman, you put it best when you said is that a guy I would even want to be with at all. You're right, and that is what went through my mind (includes the sex issue), but I really hate to write someone off just because of that. There are worse things a guy could do.

That is why I was trying to figure out a good way to "communicate" this for future reference, because not alot of guys are natural DJ's. I'm glad you all can relate to chumpboy, that would be a reason why you might actually care enough to come up with something!

And thanks to those of you who did!

 

[Ronin I]

He didn't just seem nervous or indecisive, he actually whined.

Not being a natural DJ is one thing - but whining? That's just pathetic.

 

[TesuqueRed]

iqqi---you'll probably have to step up to the plate and become the neighborhood's friendly ball-breaker.

Him: "I dunno, whadda you wanna do?" (or "where do you wanna go?"

You think: "How annoying! Wuss alert is blaring and the red lights are flashing and how do I salvage this situation?"

Looks back at wuss boy and realizes there is no salvaging this...

"Ok, face reality, this is a major test failure, no doggy treat to---er, no sex tonight, no sex tommorrow, no chance for you ever. How do I get out of this?"

So, you say in the nicest, straight-talking big-sister way you can:

"Ok, dude, you just struck out, you won't even get to first base now. You had a chance...

So let me buy you a clue---it's a favor, you don't have to pay me back--but for the next girl, you need to have a plan worked out and know what you're going to do. Enough with the limp-dyck "I dunno, whaddya you wanna do", this is a major turn off that tells every woman you're a BOY and not a MAN. So make a plan next time and take charge. And don't approach women until you can do that. In the meantime, I have laundry to do tonight, bye!"

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by ( . )( . )
actually guys, iqqi is right on the money this time.
we all know chicks want a man who takes charge, she even stated the fact.
whats the problem here?

I agree, it is important to have a few dates planned, but not every time. You do have to show that you are the provider and can make the decisions. If you don't she will think that you won't be able to be in control as a lover. You have to show her that you can man handle her.

But as a dj you shouldn't worry about what she wants. if she has a problem with you asking her. then just tell her off and next her. no point in putting up with that kind of bull****. After all, you have plenty of other women you can call who will be happy just to go out with you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Starman
ohhh stop with the whiny "I want a man with plan!"

You should be somewhat happy that he cares enough to ask you what you like to do for fun..its called COMMUNICATION

What if a woman asks you over to her place for dinner and when you get there, no dinner is to be found but she says "I didn't know what to cook, what do you want?"

I know too many women who have had that same complaint about "nice guys." DJs just swoop in and say that something like "we're going to see a movie and decide which one once we get to the theater." Once there the two of us can discuss what we'd like to see together.

At least the guy has made the first step.

 

[Starman]

Maybe I came off a little vague..YES a REAL man should have a premeditated plan..especially for dating..

I mean if you are asking some one OUT..you should have SOMETHING or somewhere in mind when you ask them "out"

but there also has to be some communication so a fun time can be had by all..the proper way is to make a few suggestions(thats what I normally do)..and let the chick have some options

The thing Im talking about is that women are always complaining about some aspect of a guy..and always trying to push the envelope with I Want! I want! I want!!

It almost makes me wanna quit dating knowing Going out to have a good time has to entail 1000 things a guy MUST do to impress a chick..

I mean COME ON guys..women have a laundry list of complaints about going out with a guy on a date

But do you see 1 guy complaining aboout a females nuances while on a date?

Everyone just needs to take a chill pill and stop making a fuss over 1 date

 

[Ar7]

Originally posted by iqqi

So this post is two things.

1. rant. and reminder. a woman wants a man with a plan.

I totally agree with iqqi on this one, a man/DJ always has a plan.
I will go so far to say that all sorts of plans should pop up on the fly as if it's just a second nature to him.

A man should lead the way from setting up the first date to all the way to the bedroom.

Personally I always seem to be the one with the plan, both with females and male friends. It gives you that edge, portraits that leadership quality that most men lack now days. Yes I am stuck with being the one responsobe for everyones fun (sometimes even feels like I am babysitting a bunch of kids), but hay both male and female friends look up to me for my descision making quality. And lastly this works great on a one on one basis when you are out with a chick.

Two things to note for group situations and One on one situations.

1) Whatever plan it is, I always make sure I am enjoying it and try to get them to enjoy it too. If you can get the co leader or some other alpha members of your group in the same mood then the rest will follow.

2) If it looks impossible to enjoy your plan, and even you yourself is having a hard time getting into it. Don't waste any more time (at such situations you should try to minimise the time of boredom), ask others to suggest another Idea and move on quickly before eveyone gets bored to death. As long as eveyone has fun (or your date has fun, in one on one situation), they won't give a rats azz about you being controlling. So make sure they are having fun and most importantly you are having fun.

 

[GirlCrazy]

Maybe it's oversimplifying but why not just look him square in the eyes and say "You decide" or "Surprise me". If he hesitates for too long just tell him to call you when he thinks of something fun to do.

It's not like the first date should be that complicated anyway. Iqqi raises a good point for us men. How hard is it for the man to say "Are you hungry? I know this great little italian resturant where they treat every customer like a long lost relative".

I really wonder what answer your date was hoping for. Maybe he thought you were gonna say "Hmmm let's have freaky monkey sex and when we're done I'll clean your apartment for you and then hook you up with my hot friend..."

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
iqqi---you'll probably have to step up to the plate and become the neighborhood's friendly ball-breaker.

Him: "I dunno, whadda you wanna do?" (or "where do you wanna go?"

You think: "How annoying! Wuss alert is blaring and the red lights are flashing and how do I salvage this situation?"

Looks back at wuss boy and realizes there is no salvaging this...

"Ok, face reality, this is a major test failure, no doggy treat to---er, no sex tonight, no sex tommorrow, no chance for you ever. How do I get out of this?"

So, you say in the nicest, straight-talking big-sister way you can:

"Ok, dude, you just struck out, you won't even get to first base now. You had a chance...

So let me buy you a clue---it's a favor, you don't have to pay me back--but for the next girl, you need to have a plan worked out and know what you're going to do. Enough with the limp-dyck "I dunno, whaddya you wanna do", this is a major turn off that tells every woman you're a BOY and not a MAN. So make a plan next time and take charge. And don't approach women until you can do that. In the meantime, I have laundry to do tonight, bye!"

hahhahaha! tesuque, you b!tch!

it's funny, cuz that is how i'd normally have responded.

most of the time i am the one who comes up with things to do. im just really creative and free in spirit, so its natural. but if you want to get to know me, in THAT way, then you better atleast have some iniative. i want a man who can throw ME around occasionally...

 

[Eyecandie4ya]

Originally posted by iqqi
i want a man who can throw ME around occasionally...

What do you actually MEAN throw you around?

Sounds like you like to be ruff up sometimes!