I don't know, should I apologize?

[Levler]

Yes, I'm sleeping with her. I did her the first night when I took her home from the club.

The thing is she is new to this town and she's moving back to her home town (50 kilometers away) in a month because her contract on the apartment runs out, and she quit her job here. Also, I'm going to study at the university for 5 years, so girls won't be the problem. I'll keep you guys updated on how things go, but I'll wait for her to call me first.

 

[Kailex]

If after 3 months of dating, she can't take a joke like that, then she deserves to be kicked to the curb.

I'm sorry, but at first I thought it was some new girl who you were seeing for maybe 2 weeks.

Such is NOT the case. I've cracked jokes far worse than that with women I've been dating with for less time, but since it was congruent with my sexual nature, it wasn't off-putting to them.

If this was the OP's first time EVER cracking a joke like that, then I could see how she would be offended, but if after THREE months a joke like that could offend her, then she needs to lighten up and get a sense of humor.


If this comment wasn't congruent with your normal behavior, then that was Mistake #1. Mistake #2 would be when you tried to "take your comment back". Once you did that, it made you seem weak in that you weren't really standing behind what you said.

 

[Levler]

If after 3 months of dating, she can't take a joke like that, then she deserves to be kicked to the curb.

I'm sorry, but at first I thought it was some new girl who you were seeing for maybe 2 weeks.

Such is NOT the case. I've cracked jokes far worse than that with women I've been dating with for less time, but since it was congruent with my sexual nature, it wasn't off-putting to them.

If this was the OP's first time EVER cracking a joke like that, then I could see how she would be offended, but if after THREE months a joke like that could offend her, then she needs to lighten up and get a sense of humor.


If this comment wasn't congruent with your normal behavior, then that was Mistake #1. Mistake #2 would be when you tried to "take your comment back". Once you did that, it made you seem weak in that you weren't really standing behind what you said.

It wasn't congruent in that way that I think I've never been this crude with her in this kind of context. However, I am congruent about standing for what I've said, and therefore I said that it was only a joke... just the facts.

Anyway, we had this conversation over text earlier this evening:

HB: You don't say such things to me.
Me: I joked with you. I joke with everyone, alot. Get over it.
HB (2 hrs later): Ok, I'm dropping it now What are you doing?...

So it all sorted out. Thanks guys

 

[Ease]

Me: Get over it.

HB (2 hrs later): Ok, I'm dropping it now

That's called having balls.

Inspiration to us all.

 

[Nino-Tk]

ah lev,this seriously cracked me up when i read it..yho..anyway man i don't think you need to apologize,the thing with chattin with texts is that the chick can't see your facial expression,so that causes her to take everything seriously..if you done that face to face i don't think she would be pissed

 

[DavenJuan]

Levier,

First off, NONE of us know the type of personality you have. We all can make assumptions based on our OWN personality or sense of humor, but as you can see you will continue to get mixed advice here.

first, no matter what anyone here says, you arent a douchebag. it WAS a joke, whether it was a good or bad joke is really irrelevant. your INTENTIONS is what should matter.

you have been dating this women for 3 months. which i would ASSUME that she knows what type of personality you have. Even if this type of comment is not common for you, it was explained to her that it was a joke. does this joke, bad or good, determine the outcome of you two spending time together??? i say absolutely not.

Had she thought you were serious, and was offended, then i can understand her breaking off plans, but to me, IMO, this seems to wreak of unnecessary drama.

Whats even scarier for me Levier, is the thought you have put into this. The time and effort you have spent trying to rectify the situation seems overboard in itself. You arent concerned about her breaking same day plans via text message or even an apology, but you seem to be concerned about something you didnt mean.

The one thing i have learned ...is not to worry what ANYONE thinks of you. You cant expect to please everyone. Just be you. When it comes to relationships, if you have to apologize on a REGULAR basis, for things this trivial, believe me, it will be a short lived experience.



...by the way, I think the joke was horrible... "eat sausage".. com'n brother. If I was her I wouldve told you not to hang tomorrow simply because your joke lacked humor and creativity. you gotta bring it stronger than that

 

[jophil28]

...by the way, I think the joke was horrible... "eat sausage".. com'n brother. If I was her I wouldve told you not to hang tomorrow simply because your joke lacked humor and creativity. you gotta bring it stronger than that

I agree, it was crude and devoid of style..."unbecoming of a gentleman, and as common as muck" as my old English grandma often said.

Secondly, she was going to visit with her Mother. She wasn't canceling to hang with her slvtty g/fs or going on a GNO.
MY tip to all you younger guys is to always give your girl your blessing when she is doing family duty.

 

[Warrior74]

texting. meh. bites you in the ass every time.

 

[iqqi]

I agree, it was crude and devoid of style..."unbecoming of a gentleman, and as common as muck" as my old English grandma often said.

Secondly, she was going to visit with her Mother. She wasn't canceling to hang with her slvtty g/fs or going on a GNO.
MY tip to all you younger guys is to always give your girl your blessing when she is doing family duty.

On the same page here.

I wasn't trying to come across as b!tchy or anything, but as the lone female opinion on here, I am just saying it was middle school/all boys prepschool type humour, and if a guy I was seeing said that to me I'd be more than turned off.

Yeah I like a guy who is a guy and all that, but I don't see anything manly about what the OP said. Only little boyish, and like I said, that is a big turn off, at least for me. Maybe Curiousgirl or someone can weigh in on what they'd think or do if their guy said that to them, I just know that not only would I not be dating a guy who made such a dumb "joke", but if he did, I'd be seriously questioning who I was dating, and why I was with someone so immature and tactless.

I think it is a bad idea to tell the OP that kind of joke is fly with the ladies. It isn't suave, funny, or witty at all. Maybe to your boy friends.

Then again I am pretty old fashioned about some things. I have guy friends who talk the way the OP talks so I get the humour... and that is also why I could only see them as friends.