I don't get it... string of failures followed by success?

[Kerpal]

Just moved to a new city and have been doing the POF spamming thing for targets of opportunity. I came up with a hilarious/outrageous message that I just send to every single attractive girl that comes up, and I actually have a very high response rate.

In the last month and a half I've been out with 5 different girls. 4 ended in failure after the first dates even after kiss closing all of them. One bailed in the middle of the date, and the rest wouldn't answer their phones or call me back. I was getting pretty frustrated but just kept plugging away at it. Only takes a few minutes each day.

So a couple days ago I started talking to this Brazilian girl who is here in the US taking classes and working for a family taking care of the kids. Within a few messages said she wanted to meet up. Got her number and set up a time and place. Just a few hours before we were going to meet she texts: "You seem really nice, but I'm moving back to Brazil in 2 weeks so my mind is really far from this dating thing".

I thought it was her way of backing out at the last second and thought "DAMN IT, NOT AGAIN!". So I figured I'd pull a Hail Mary and texted her back "That's cool, if you just want to hook up and have fun until you leave let me know". Surprisingly, she agreed. So we met that night, went for a walk in a park, and it ended with her giving me a ******* in my car. Met again tonight, took her out to eat (spent a total of $4.75 on her... all she wanted was a milkshake, she couldn't finish so I ended up drinking half of it :crackup: ) took her back to my place and ****ed her. She wants to see me again on Sunday

I'm happy but puzzled. I don't get it. Why do I completely fail with 4 standard, plain Jane white girls in a row, and then have huge success with a hot Brazilian girl? Hanging out with her has been great, she's fun, I make her laugh a lot, etc. Everything seems to flow so much more smoothly than usual. And she gets into the sex way more and is more passionate than all the white girls I've been with, although she is a lot shyer about some things and surprisingly seems pretty inexperienced.

I'm sure this chick is getting inundated with hundreds of messages a day just like every other good looking girl on there, she has her pick of all of them, so why me? Especially when I was just rejected by 4 girls who were less attractive than her? I'm certainly not complaining, but I'm totally confused.

 

[gaspipe]

Its pretty much a numbers game with on line dating. Good job in not giving up.:rockon:

 

[sexysuave]

although she is a lot shyer about some things and surprisingly seems pretty inexperienced.

Ha ha, mannn, you reminded me of an experience with a half puertorican and half not sure/can't remember girl that I had last year. Ok, a few things:

a) Girls don't KNOW about your failures,, that's why I usually tell guys to always try to act like they're on top of the world, because you can fail with 10 chicks, and have the 11th one give you the time of your life, and the previous 10 DON'T matter anymore..

b) You were bound to get one LOL... You keep on failing, and the more you fail, the higher the chances are of you scoring one eventually. Thomas Edison "failed" 10,000 times before he finally invented the light bulb. Every failure brings you closer to success, and once you start having some constant successes, you will start getting in "the zone". If you have ever played sports for your school teams and what not, you know what "the zone" is, you just feel like you can't do any wrong. Once you get to that stage, you can talk to ANYONE and SAY ANYTHIGN and everything is going to be OK lol you just know it! So this is what you need to strive for now, keep gaming this girl for 2 weeks but at the same time start talking to other girls NOW while you have this momentum going for you.. momentum is HUGE and you wanna work with it while you have it..

c) not sure if this has to do with south american women, but as I said, I had one that was SUPER SHY (at least that's how she presented her self, seemed genuine, but I ended up sleeping with her on the FIRST DAY).. Now granted, I spent almost an entire day with her.. Me and a few buddies were at a hotel pool, just relaxing and drinking beers and swimming and trying to run game on girls lol. I was sitting on the side at one point and one of my buddies calls me over to come in the pool as he was talking to some 2 girls, one white and the other one I think half puertorican and half somethign else, I can't remember for the life of me, but she was HOT.. was some school teacher or somethign from New York, was just on vacation.. so she was going back THE NEXT DAY lol.. well me and him talked to these two girls and he started primarily takling to the white chick while I was talking to this girl.. she turned out VERY smart, but pretty shy, has a masters degree, and has read ALL Dan Brown books. Well, what do you know I also read all dan brown books so we immediately built a connection after we found that out and started actually talking about the stories in the book and we both remembered details and what not so we had a pretty long discussion about them and I tried to also be flirty and what not a bit, but not over do it. at one point we said somethign we agreed on and I told her "high five" and raised my hand for a high five and she obliged, but as we were letting our hands down I did not let go of her hand, and she did not let go of my hand either, we let our hands get below the water while still holding them, and I looked her in the eyes for about 5 to 7 seconds and smiled then let her hand go and she smiled right back and stared at me. lol.. .wellll that was my IOI and that was what told me "all systems are go".. (well, for a seduction anyway)... we talked some more and then they had to go but she literally ASKED ME for my number, and I happily gave it to her (I don't get asked for my nubmer often, not gonna lie lol so this was a big IOI also).

She texted a few hours later and asked what we were up to (I was with 2 buddies) I told her that we were having dinner at the hotel and that they can join us if they would like. She said she will text me when they are ready, well by the time she texted me back, we were already at some club at a different hotel. I told her and asked them that they can join us if they would like.. part of me was hoping that they don't show up, as I was talking to some HOT asian chick (lol, can't pass that up if there is an oportunity) that seemed to be somewhat interested and I figured as shy as the other girl was and as polite as she seemed, there was NO WAY I was gonna get any, and she is going back to NY tomorrow!! So I'm like, ok, i'm better off trying to do something in the club.. my two buddies were taking up some two Milfs, and they actually chatted these girls up for almost 2 hours!! LOL,,, apparently, they said everythign was going great and one of them had almost got everythign set up for them to go have "drinks" at our hotel and then they planned to take them to the room, when, in the last minute one buddy pulled the other one aside and told him that he would like to SWITCH and take his Milf instead!! He said he liked her better!! ahahahahah . (after like almost 2 hours of gaming the other chick) I am NOT JOKING here.. the other guy got pissed ,told him to take whoever he wants, and stormed off,, went to a different club somewhere...

back to me, in the meanwhile, the two girls showed up and I met up with them at the bar and we went and sat down and just kinda chilled out.. they snapped some pictures and what not (I didnt' care, I was single at the time).. and just kinda chatted and talked and I tried to flirt a bit .. but I was thinking.. ok,, nothing is happening here... as she seemed WAYYY to nice and shy.. but since I honestly did have a connection with her, I was attracted to her I actually liked her.. we got along great and she seemed like a girl that I would actually not mind like "dating" as she seemed smart, attractive, shy, down to earth, all of that.. so once again, dont' get me wrong, it's not that she wasn't into me, it's just that she was LEAVING in the morning and I didn't think she would PUT out that night and I wasn't gonna fly to damn NY to try to seal that deal lol..

Well my other friend eventually left looking for the other buddy as he was not successfull trying to pull both of the milfs by him self.. (he brought them to our table lol, and had one on each arms, but he says that they said they were "in relationship and were not gonna gang up on him" lol but that sure wasn't stopping them from flirting with them and kino for 2 hours lol...

(continued below lol ran out of allowed space for one post)

 

[sexysuave]

Anyway, I go back to our hotel with both of these girls, thinking I actually had a good time with this girl and actually LIKE her believe it or not LOL, but thinking I'll just say my good buy and that's all.. (oh, by this time in the night, we have been also making out and we danced to a couple of slower songs and made out, and her friend liked me as well so she didn't c*ckblock).. So when we were in the hotel her friend said "I'm gonna go and leave you love birds alone" lol.. so me and her walked around a bit and made out and what not and I honestly was just waiting for her to tell me "I gotta go".. but she said "soooo, what happens now" .. and I'm like "what do you want to happen".. and she is like "I dunno, what do YOU want to happen" and I was like "Look, I'm not even gonna lie to you, usually in this situation I would ask you to join me in my room, but honestly, I actually like you and respect you, you're diferent than the girls I meat on a daily basis, so if you would like to come up to my room and join me, I would absolutely love that, no pressure at all and we dont' have to do anything you don't wanna do, I think you know me well enough by now to at least be comfortable with that.. but if you dont' want to, I can completely understand and i'll walk you to your room and say good bye to you.. I hoenstly had a great day with you"... she was staring me right in the eyes and said "I would like to come up".. I was HONESTLY surprised, she was sooo shy, nice, smart, laid back, I almost NEVER meet a girl as down to earth and shy as her (from my perception).. Well I text my buddies and told them NOT to interrupt me for at least an hour..

the guy that initially got pissed off and stormed off calls me (they are both drunk) tellign me he is bringing a girl over... I tell him to go check his text message (I didn't wanna talk in front of her) and I text him "LOOK, whatever you do, give me an HOUR, do NOT bring taht slvt here, figure something out!!" He writes back "ok bro"..... I'm thining "ok good" we go upstairs and I imediately start kissing her softly, so we are just making out while still standing up in our hotel room, we didnt' get to the bed yet but were just standing there holding each other and making out, lights turned off. I start letting my hands go below her waist and slowly rubbing her butt... no objections.. I start moving them up and down and caressing her pretty good all over her back and ass and she starts kinda moaning a little bit as I eventually grabbed her ass cheeks and slowly spread them a little bit, trying to get some sensation going in her hot spot So it's been like 6 or 7 minutes or so and at this point I feel pretty good about slowly unzipping her dress in the back.. once again, no objections, just continued heavy making out.. (as you can probably tell, this meant more to me than just any average daily pick up.. lol).. I evnetually unzipped her dress down to her butt and pulled it off of her, so we stood there and continued making out and I continued caressing her.. I took my shirt off, and we kept making out.. so about 8 or 9 minutes into this whole thing, the door F*CKING BLOWS WIDE OPEN and my drunk f*cking buddy who just told me he would give me at least an HOUR storms in with some drunk slut, shuts the door behind him, and goes to one of the beds without even acknowledging us or sayign anything ...I was like "waht the f*ck" and he didnt' say sh*t, lol... they jump on the bed and start making out and taking their clothes off... needless to say, "my" girl was startled... LOL she wispered to me that she felt uncomfortable and I asked her if she wanted to leave and she is like "yes, sorry".. so she got her dress I put on a shirt and we got outta the room.. mannnn I could have killed him.. lol

We started walking around the hotel a little bit went down to the lobby and explored the area and found some spot and made out for a while.. She texted her friend to find out "what she was doing" and I guess her friend went downstairs to some bar in the hotel.. so she invites me to her room (there is still hopeeeeee lol).. She says "my friend can be back any minute, so we can't do anything.." I dont' complain.. so we just start making out on her bed, with clothes still on.. I do my kino and sexual touching and kinda get her hot and heavy again, and she texts her friend to find out how long she's gonna be, but the friend is not responding... sooo finally, she comes up with this GREAT idea, and takes a piece of paper and writes "I'm in here with SS, please don't come in until 04:00" ahahaha no joke!! i was like thinking "is this really happening to me" lol We got back to making out and what not and clothes came off and next thing you know I have her naked and I have only boxers on.. I was rubbing her p*ssy by now and she was pretty wet and ready to go, and GET THIS.. I pull out a condom and start taking my boxers off to put it on, and she was SO SHY that she turned around and didn't wanna watch as I put my condom on.. I literally started laughing and I was like "are you ok" and she was like "yeah, sorry, I dont' normally do this, i'm really nervous"... (if she was playing me, she was a GREATTTTT actress haahaha), so I'm like "hey , hey, it's ok.. .kiss me... and we start making out again a little bit and I let the intensity build up and then finally get on top of her and start slowly going in... dudeeee she was moaning and was soooo wet it wasnt' even funny, plus she was unshaved down there, unlike most american chicks, and had a pretty nice bush going lol,, it was kinda neat for a little change.. well I can honestly say that for the first 10 minutes or so, I MADE LOVE to this girl... I didn't fvck her for first 10 mintues, I made LOVE to her lol.. I was in and out slowly while the entire time making out and staring in each others eyes.. after about 10 mintues or probably closer to 15, I started picking up the pace and I eventually ended up with her legs above my shoulders, nailing her pretty damn good,,, mannn it was the sh*t, especially her seeming so goody goody and smart and shy and this and that, just makes you more hot when somethign unexpected like that happens.... So yeah, SOMEWHAT similar to your experience with a south american chick.. I was on the eastoast for business a few months later and she actually ended up flying in to see me for ONE day and we just had a lot of sex for the most part, went out a bit downtown, had some dinner and watched a football game, and went back and had some more hot sex, and she flew back home in the morning LOL...

Oh, and that night in the hotel, we kissed passionately when saying good bye, and as I was walking back to our room I saw these 2 slvts and I'm pretty sure one of them was the one with my buddy.. sure enough, when I got in, they told me how they fvcked these two chicks.. I guess my other buddy walked in a half an hour later and cought this dude just railing this chick on the bed (which was the other girls friend that he was with) and I guess she was like "ohhh my Godd what is my friend doing" and of course they ended up diong the same thing.. the second buddy said "his" girl wanted it up the as* so he just pounded her as* the whole time, and the other buddy made the chick squirt so bad that HALF of the bed was soaking wet!! There is also a good chance that she might have just pissed on the bed from all the sex lol, but I had no room to sleep on that bed, and the other bed had anal sex all over it so I didn't wanna sleep on that one either, lol, so I just crashed on the floor,, they laughed when I told them I "made love for first 10 or 15 minutes" but it was true... :rockon: overall, it was a pretty good night lol...

but yea, back to the point.. you have picked up some MOMENTUM now, USE it wisely,, go out and talk to girls NOW, while you have this momentum going for your self. they will be able to pick up on your confidence and self esteem... do it and tell us how it goes!!

 

[Black Dog]

Just moved to a new city and have been doing the POF spamming thing for targets of opportunity. I came up with a hilarious/outrageous message that I just send to every single attractive girl that comes up, and I actually have a very high response rate.

In the last month and a half I've been out with 5 different girls. 4 ended in failure after the first dates even after kiss closing all of them. One bailed in the middle of the date, and the rest wouldn't answer their phones or call me back. I was getting pretty frustrated but just kept plugging away at it. Only takes a few minutes each day.

So a couple days ago I started talking to this Brazilian girl who is here in the US taking classes and working for a family taking care of the kids. Within a few messages said she wanted to meet up. Got her number and set up a time and place. Just a few hours before we were going to meet she texts: "You seem really nice, but I'm moving back to Brazil in 2 weeks so my mind is really far from this dating thing".

I thought it was her way of backing out at the last second and thought "DAMN IT, NOT AGAIN!". So I figured I'd pull a Hail Mary and texted her back "That's cool, if you just want to hook up and have fun until you leave let me know". Surprisingly, she agreed. So we met that night, went for a walk in a park, and it ended with her giving me a ******* in my car. Met again tonight, took her out to eat (spent a total of $4.75 on her... all she wanted was a milkshake, she couldn't finish so I ended up drinking half of it :crackup: ) took her back to my place and ****ed her. She wants to see me again on Sunday

I'm happy but puzzled. I don't get it. Why do I completely fail with 4 standard, plain Jane white girls in a row, and then have huge success with a hot Brazilian girl? Hanging out with her has been great, she's fun, I make her laugh a lot, etc. Everything seems to flow so much more smoothly than usual. And she gets into the sex way more and is more passionate than all the white girls I've been with, although she is a lot shyer about some things and surprisingly seems pretty inexperienced.

I'm sure this chick is getting inundated with hundreds of messages a day just like every other good looking girl on there, she has her pick of all of them, so why me? Especially when I was just rejected by 4 girls who were less attractive than her? I'm certainly not complaining, but I'm totally confused.

I iimmediately thought of this!! Haha

Good job brother!! Are Brazilian girls noticably (culturally) different than American ones? What jumped out at me was how sexually open she was, yet still "shy"....anyway. Nice going Brother:rockon:

 

[Iceberg]

A string of failures is usually followed by success. The only people who aren't failing are the people who aren't trying.

Fail gloriously, my friend.

 

[Jitterbug]

Brazilian girls appreciate a good squatter.

 

[Mike32ct]

Awesome Kerpal.

It was a combination of foreign women being different than your typical American ones and you being persistent.

Even if you fail nine times in a row, be sure to laugh (on the inside) at those girls while you are F-ing girl number 10.

 

[PapiChulo]

Proper target selection! Every time I deal with foreign women it makes me realize how bad men have it in Vancouver.

 

[Kerpal]

Are Brazilian girls noticably (culturally) different than American ones?

This girl is. She told me she only knows a couple people who are divorced (I don't know anyone who ISN'T divorced!). People in her city don't eat fast food; they have McDonald's but nobody goes there, and they don't have WalMart. She gained weight when she moved here because the food is so bad. She was shocked how people dance at clubs here (said it looks like they are going to "make a baby" :crackup. She's a good kisser but isn't very good at giving head, most American girls seem to be the other way around. Also her ***** isn't shaved, just trimmed, all the American girls I've been with have been totally bald down there. And she was very tight compared to the American girls I've ****ed.

She's from some backwater part of Brazil though, not one of the bigger cities. I don't remember what part she said, but people are "more traditional" there. That probably explains most of it, if she was from Rio or Sao Paulo she'd probably be more like the American girls I've been with.

 

[Jariel]

Here's my theory.

Girls on sites like POF clearly have a lot of options and naturally they want to explore. If a guy comes along who wants to commit to something exclusive it means she has to give up her options, and a lot of women aren't willing to do that until they've fallen for a guy.

What you did was offer her a bit of no strings fun, which means she can take a chance on you, without giving up her options. It's a win/win situation for her. And if you turn out to be special or you manage to capture her heart, then she may well stick around.

I speak from both perspectives. As a guy with options, the idea of getting serious with someone I'm not sure about scares me, and a lot of the time I'll back off...especially if she seems too keen or is liable to be hurt by a rejection. However, when a girl plays cool with me or suggests a bit of fun, I'm always willing to give it a go. Likewise, when I get too keen on a girl, she backs off, but if I keep things casual or suggest something purely sexual, she's usually very eager to see me.

In other words, just game women for no-strings sex and the rest will follow.