I don't drink.

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

If you don't want to drink then fair play, own it and be confident with it, it's a personal choice. I don't and never would do drugs, I know a helluva lot of people who do, but I wouldn't do it!

I know a couple of people who don't drink at all & it makes no difference to their social life. If anything it's beneficial in some ways as you develop genuine confidence whereas a lot of young dudes develop beer soaked confidence.

I'm already very confident. I don't know liquor would make me more confident or not, I doubt it would. I can imagine 3 ways I'd become if I were to get drunk:
1. I'd become super angry at the world and hate everyone and everything with a dying passion.
2. I would pretty much think out loud and remove the little filtering I have on my speech and probably talk more loudly.
3. No change at all aside from less coordination.
But I already have a lot of confidence, I mean I'm strong enough not to drink after all. Perhaps this is a positive.... I just don't want to be missing out on any potential good times I might have/could have had by not drinking.

 

[The Duke]

I rarely drank anything until my early 30's. During high school/college I always got called out for it at parties, but after a while people began to respect my strength for not giving in to social pressure. The only people that didn't respect me for it weren't my friends any ways and were very weak personalities. I've never been one to care much what people think.

Just do your thing, live life for you, on your own terms. Thats how you set your self apart from the crowd.

 

[Silko]

Here: I am quiting alcohol + coffee, never did drugs

quitting coffee is so difficult!

 

[Reykhel]

Thread title. It's somewhat a problem because if someone is throwing a party and I'm not drinking then people will be wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I have never had alcohol in my life nor do I plan to no matter how much people pressure me. I still want to be able to have fun and get some girls but I refuse to drink (it interferes with one of my life goals and may be detrimental towards it). I just don't want to be left out or third-wheeling crap at social events. All people do nowdays are drink or do drugs to have fun and no one wants to actually do STUFF anymore, like play soccer or go ice skating or laser tagging or any of that fun stuff. Any advice?

To be social, I would say bring positive emotions and have fun. You are already confident, so you can do this anyway.

This is not a problem at all, unless you start doubting your personal lifestyle decision and start projecting that doubt onto other people and believing that they have a problem with you not drinking, when really it's just your own projection. The problem than becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as people start picking up weird vibes from your sub communications.....

This is your personal boundary. Your personal decision. Your frame. When you have personal preferences and are not swayed by the crowed, there's authenticity in that. You're being authentic to yourself and to those around you. This vibe also gives off in your sub communications and people also pick up on that congruency.

You'll always get one or two people here and there that will try to test your boundary and see if they can twist your arm into drinking. You must view it as a little test, but one that you are grateful for as it's a chance to demonstrate your boundary. (besides, always remember, it's usually those that drink too much that will try to encourage you to drink.........all addicts know what they are doing is foolish but if they can drag you down with them they won't feel so bad)

Check out this video about self esteem......he mentions authenticity and the reviewer mentions his own situation with regards to being a non drinker and sticking to his guns...

 

[resilient]

I used to drink a ton in my 20s with my buddies or going out to practice pick-up. I would drink to match other's pace or would try to out match them.

Now, in my mid-30s and divorced, I go out casually and allow myself to get one beer for the night. If I'm feeling in a good mood, I might go for two if I'm going to be there 3+ hours. I get my glass and nurse the crap out of it with sips to make it last over conversation. Also, when going for two, I will drink a glass of water in between the next pint.

Sometimes the bartender will offer a sample too, so I might have that for a while before getting the pint.

OP, if you convey that you're comfortable in your own skin not drinking alcohol, you'll do fine with others.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

To be social, I would say bring positive emotions and have fun. You are already confident, so you can do this anyway.

This is not a problem at all, unless you start doubting your personal lifestyle decision and start projecting that doubt onto other people and believing that they have a problem with you not drinking, when really it's just your own projection. The problem than becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as people start picking up weird vibes from your sub communications.....

This is your personal boundary. Your personal decision. Your frame. When you have personal preferences and are not swayed by the crowed, there's authenticity in that. You're being authentic to yourself and to those around you. This vibe also gives off in your sub communications and people also pick up on that congruency.

You'll always get one or two people here and there that will try to test your boundary and see if they can twist your arm into drinking. You must view it as a little test, but one that you are grateful for as it's a chance to demonstrate your boundary. (besides, always remember, it's usually those that drink too much that will try to encourage you to drink.........all addicts know what they are doing is foolish but if they can drag you down with them they won't feel so bad)

Check out this video about self esteem......he mentions authenticity and the reviewer mentions his own situation with regards to being a non drinker and sticking to his guns...

These are some VERY strong points that I have seem to forgotten. Thank you for allowing me to re-embrace them.