I do not understand what I am doing wrong

[B0SS MAN]

I took a break from the forum for awhile and I went out trying to apply what I've learned. Honestly, nothing has changed really. I read many articles trying to work out the kinks in my personality and for the most part I did what it said and all but despite my fun outlook on conversations with anybody now, nothing has changed with girls. I get them to laugh a lot and I try to do the whole kino thing but they never end up attracted to me. The only girl to like me this entire year has been a fat girl...who liked me basically off looks but eww lol. I do not get what I'm doing wrong. I take care of myself, I'm not a mean guy, I've got a good sense of humor and I keep my grades up. I have major ambitions to get into college and make something of myself one day but this is the one case I haven't been able to crack. Does anybody have any idea what it might be?

 

[Igetit!]

I took a break from the forum for awhile and I went out trying to apply what I've learned. Honestly, nothing has changed really. I read many articles trying to work out the kinks in my personality and for the most part I did what it said and all but despite my fun outlook on conversations with anybody now, nothing has changed with girls. I get them to laugh a lot and I try to do the whole kino thing but they never end up attracted to me.

Well first of all,we need to know what your goal is.

So what is it that you want? Do you just want to walk up to a girl and make her interested in dating you?



Another thing...you said that you can get girls to laugh and do the kino,but they don't end up being attracted to you.


Now try to answer this question as accurately as you can....


When you talk to these girl in an attempt to get them attracted to you,WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THEM?


What exactly?


If you can answer these questions,we should be able to help you out.

I do not get what I'm doing wrong. I take care of myself, I'm not a mean guy, I've got a good sense of humor and I keep my grades up. I have major ambitions to get into college and make something of myself one day but this is the one case I haven't been able to crack. Does anybody have any idea what it might be?

While all these things you mentioned about yourself are good,they have absolutely NOTHING TO DO with attraction.


Girls don't care whether you're nice or mean.
They don't care about your grades.
And they don't care if you're funny or not.



All they care about is HOW THEY FEEL. And if you don't create some type of attraction in them,then NOTHING ELSE YOU DO will matter.



But don't worry though,this isn't hard to do.



It will require some changes in your thinking and in some of the things you say to girl,but it's doable.

 

[B0SS MAN]

Well first of all,we need to know what your goal is.

So what is it that you want? Do you just want to walk up to a girl and make her interested in dating you?

I want to do the whole friends with benefits thing and just have fun until I find somebody worth sticking with and no I try to get to know the person.

When you talk to these girl in an attempt to get them attracted to you,WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THEM?

I usually just take an interest in whatever that they are talking about and I'll give my opinion on it, I'll tease them about whatever they are saying or I will try to see the romantic side of the situation. For example:

Interest: Today this girl showed me this sign she made and I was asking how long it took her to do it and who it was for and all that.

Teasing: I was talking to this girl the other day and she told me she was getting her license and that the guy in drivers ed told her that she was a good driver so I said that she can't believe everything she hears.

Romantic Side: Awhile ago it was cold for a long time and the girl I was talking to said she hates the cold so I said that I like the cold it's good cuddling weather.

 

[Igetit!]

I want to do the whole friends with benefits thing and just have fun until I find somebody worth sticking with and no I try to get to know the person.

Friends with benefits?

That's what you're trying to do?


Well look,I think you need to take baby steps dude.


I mean you can't just go from not being able to get a girl attracted to you straight to a friends with benefits thing just like that.


Start off just getting a girl interested in going out on a date with you.


Once you learn how to do that,then you can transition into the "FWB" scenario.

I usually just take an interest in whatever that they are talking about and I'll give my opinion on it, I'll tease them about whatever they are saying...

Hey,that's not bad. It's a good way you interject yourself into the conversation,but once you're in it,you need to steal the frame.



You need to turn the convo onto you and the girl. Go ahead and talk about whatever the convo originally was for a little while,then turn it onto you making flirty/romantic comments about NOT JUST HER,but YOU and her.

or I will try to see the romantic side of the situation. For example:

Interest: Today this girl showed me this sign she made and I was asking how long it took her to do it and who it was for and all that.

I see what you're trying to do here,but it isn't enough. You need to be more agressive,more personal.



Instead of asking her who the sign was for,you should have said something like,"Wow,that's a nice sign. I love it. And here I didn't even get you anything".


You see what I mean? You need to make the romantic comments PERSONAL...about you and her.

Teasing: I was talking to this girl the other day and she told me she was getting her license and that the guy in drivers ed told her that she was a good driver so I said that she can't believe everything she hears.

That was a good one man,I like that comment.

Keep on doing that.

Romantic Side: Awhile ago it was cold for a long time and the girl I was talking to said she hates the cold so I said that I like the cold it's good cuddling weather.

Good line,but again,you need to make it more personal.


An improvement of this line would be something like,"Yeah,I don't like the cold either. Let's go somewhere and cuddle and keep each other warm".



Your lines seem ok,you just need to direct them onto the girl and YOURSELF.



All this is good to make a girl think of you romantically,but even ALL THIS by itself isn't enough.



Evenutally...you need to ask the girl out. All that flirting and teasing and playing around (EVEN IF IT IS PERSONAL) will mean nothing if you don't ask her out.



Other things you can do is tell a girl you like the way she looks in something she's wearing.


DON'T SAY,"you're hot" or anything like that.


Say,"I LIKE" the way you look in that (whatever it is she's wearing).



I know everything I said may seem a bit overwhelming,but for now,just focus on making your comments more personal.

 

[faiNt`]

Girls are only a small piece of the puzzle; you cant' expect to simply read some things and instantly be a PUA. It takes practice and experience.

High school is a joke in the whole scheme of things, and I don't mean "it's only high school, don't worry." I mean anything but that because with that mindset you're only going to waste your time. What I mean is that you should take this time to learn about yourself and have fun instead of caring so much.

There are no tricks to high school girls. You don't have to have strong game for the most part. All you really have to do is be confident and outgoing. These are traits that anyone can learn if they don't naturally have them.

Be that kid in class that calls out and makes everyone else laugh. Be the first to raise your hand because you f*cking do what you want. Be the first. Lead. Take action and show everyone else how it's done because you are the f*cking man and your confidence is unshakable.

Oh, and stop being so outcome dependent. I know it's what we're all striving for long-term, but try not to think about it so much in the short-term.

 

[B0SS MAN]

Start off just getting a girl interested in going out on a date with you.

Thats a good idea.

You need to turn the convo onto you and the girl. Go ahead and talk about whatever the convo originally was for a little while,then turn it onto you making flirty/romantic comments about NOT JUST HER,but YOU and her.

That makes a lot of sense. Maybe all I need is a basic shift in thinking.

Evenutally...you need to ask the girl out. All that flirting and teasing and playing around (EVEN IF IT IS PERSONAL) will mean nothing if you don't ask her out.

Yea I know at some point I have to take the initiative. But I have a question, if a girl is interested enough in you wont she ask you to spend time with her? In my area girls will make it very clear if they want to spend time with you, some will even ask you out themselves. Most of the guys that I know who pull a lot of girls don't even have to ask the girl out they invite them places or ask them to come see them or w.e.

I know everything I said may seem a bit overwhelming,but for now,just focus on making your comments more personal.

It is not overwhelming at all. I actually wanted to know if you had anything else to add lol.

 

[B0SS MAN]

High school is a joke in the whole scheme of things, and I don't mean "it's only high school, don't worry." I mean anything but that because with that mindset you're only going to waste your time. What I mean is that you should take this time to learn about yourself and have fun instead of caring so much.

True. I am involved in several sports and I focus on having fun most of the time.

There are no tricks to high school girls. You don't have to have strong game for the most part. All you really have to do is be confident and outgoing. These are traits that anyone can learn if they don't naturally have them.

Yea, I'm working on confidence. Honestly, my confidence goes up and down I just have to learn to keep it high but I am already very outgoing with a large social circle.

Oh, and stop being so outcome dependent. I know it's what we're all striving for long-term, but try not to think about it so much in the short-term.

Short-term how?

 

[Igetit!]

Yea I know at some point I have to take the initiative. But I have a question, if a girl is interested enough in you wont she ask you to spend time with her?

Don't do this man.

NEVER DO THIS. Never wait on the girl to take the initiative and get things going.


Even if the girl IS INTERESTED,most of the time she WON'T make the first move.



The reason why is because.....

#1:She doesn't want to be percieved as a "slvt",and...
#2:Girls don't want to take the chance of being rejected.



You're the MAN here. It's YOUR JOB to lead,take charge,and be in control.



Don't wait for her to do it. You'll miss out on girl after girl doing that.


Trust me,I know,lol.

In my area girls will make it very clear if they want to spend time with you, some will even ask you out themselves. Most of the guys that I know who pull a lot of girls don't even have to ask the girl out they invite them places or ask them to come see them or w.e.

That may be true,but this isn't the case with YOU. If it were,you wouldn't have made this thread.


No man,don't put the responsibility for YOUR DATING LIFE in the hands of some chick.


It's YOURS.

It is not overwhelming at all. I actually wanted to know if you had anything else to add lol.

Well just remember to speak boldly,with confidence when you make these remarks to the girls.



Don't be nervous,scared,or anxious when saying them. If you are nervous or scared,your nervousness will CANCEL OUT the effects of the words.



She'll be too focused of how nervous you are instead of listening to what you say.



So to sum it up,make your comments more personal,and BE COOL while you say them.

 

[eaglez1177]

Wow I wouldve posted in this thread but Igetit seems to have covered everything I was going to say lol...nice job as usual

 

[faiNt`]

Short-term how?

Being outcome dependent hugely effects how you interact with the world around you, particularly with girls. You start to care what you're saying too much. In the long-term we all care about the outcome, it's human nature to want to live a good life, but if you try to do that in the short-term, every interaction will seem like nothing more than a transaction for you. You make a few comments and you either pass (get a number/date/whatever) or fail (rejection/busy/flake).

My point is that it doesn't have to be like that. If you are as focused on your life as you say, then girls really ARE only a side show for you. You just take the lead and who gives a flying fvck about what happens if it doesn't work out. There are 4 billion other girls on the planet.

The only purpose to high school is having fun and getting into college.

Girls = fun

Good grades = college

You understand these two points and have confidence and you can't go wrong.