"I didn't mean to lead you on"----just friends?

[teddy]

This was back before I got into this stuff seriously; however, I've been thinking about it lately.

There was a girl I hung out with twice (she had a bf), very hot, very compatible with me. Same interests, etc. The activities we did were what people who date do. However, at the end of the second hangout, for whatever reason, I felt like she saw me as a guy without a penis.

So in the beginning of our third hangout I said casually, "these are the types of things I do with women I'm dating.". She says, "I didn't mean to lead you on. I do this with guy friends all the time and there never a problem. I just assumed we were friends." I took that as being friendzoned and dropped her, all contact after that.

I'm sure everyone has a story like this, where they lost an amazing girl that spurred them to join this community. However, looking back, I wonder if I should have ignored what she said and escalate anyway. Then again, I was deep into oneitis for her and maybe I accomplished the task of not feeling neutered if I kept hanging out with her and ruined my manhood even though she may have been potentially bangable.

 

[TheException]

There was a girl I hung out with twice (she had a bf), very hot, very compatible with me. Same interests, etc. The activities we did were what people who date do. However, at the end of the second hangout, for whatever reason, I felt like she saw me as a guy without a penis.

So in the beginning of our third hangout I said casually, "these are the types of things I do with women I'm dating.". She says, "I didn't mean to lead you on. I do this with guy friends all the time and there never a problem. I just assumed we were friends." I took that as being friendzoned and dropped her, all contact after that.

I wonder if I should have ignored what she said and escalate anyway. Then again, I was deep into oneitis for her and maybe I accomplished the task of not feeling neutered if I kept hanging out with her and ruined my manhood even though she may have been potentially bangable.

You were whats known as a "beta orbiter". You see:

Women NEED attention

Men NEED sex

So when two people are beginning an exclusive relationship...the men exchanges his attention for constant sex. Both needs are satisfied and this is why relationships even exist. Now the sh1tty part is that if the man tries to monopolize his need elsewhere...hes known as a "cheater". But a women is free to monopolize attention from every guy on the planet and have virtually zero repercussions.

Women will constantly "lead men on" if they allow themselves. Shes using you for male attention and nothing else. THIS IS WHAT A BETA ORBITER IS....THE MALE GIVING ATTENTION FOR FREE. HE GETS ZERO SEX IN EXCHANGE. The first sign is....if they already have a boyfriend. The whole "Ill get this girl to leave her bf for me act" is extremely overplayed. The majority of these cases are beta orbiters and holding on to some glimmer of hope.

Hope that explains what happened to you. Going forward...avoid girls with boyfriends. There are plenty of hott women out there that are single and looking for an alpha to fvck.

 

[teddy]

You were whats known as a "beta orbiter". You see:

Women NEED attention

Men NEED sex

So when two people are beginning an exclusive relationship...the men exchanges his attention for constant sex. Both needs are satisfied and this is why relationships even exist. Now the sh1tty part is that if the man tries to monopolize his need elsewhere...hes known as a "cheater". But a women is free to monopolize attention from every guy on the planet and have virtually zero repercussions.

Women will constantly "lead men on" if they allow themselves. Shes using you for male attention and nothing else. THIS IS WHAT A BETA ORBITER IS....THE MALE GIVING ATTENTION FOR FREE. HE GETS ZERO SEX IN EXCHANGE. The first sign is....if they already have a boyfriend. The whole "Ill get this girl to leave her bf for me act" is extremely overplayed. The majority of these cases are beta orbiters and holding on to some glimmer of hope.

Hope that explains what happened to you. Going forward...avoid girls with boyfriends. There are plenty of hott women out there that are single and looking for an alpha to fvck.

I like this response. Keeps it simple for me without having to worry I'm missing out on anything.

 

[Wingedsig]

Dude.

Teddy-
You have no idea at all how your post hits home right now bro. I had the EXACT same experience recently. Almost to the T bro. Except mine is way worse. The teasing was over the top, drinking wine in a hot tub, explicit sexual talk, etc. She pulled the same $hit. In hindsight I realize that they were blatant buying signals, I just didn't escalate and close in a proper timeframe. Like someone said before, attraction is like that sell by date on the front of a loaf of bread. If that window closes, you are f#*($ed period. They are on to the next. Although I take responsibility for pulling the deer in headlights move in this particular situation, it sure is frustrating as $hit when they relegate you to the friends zone. I pulled an AFC move and acted all butt hurt and called her out, when in reality I should have pulled the indifferent card because I know it drives them bonkers. I am improving my body, and spinning other plates. Teddy that's all we can do homie. Just try to file it away in the "practice" vault instead of the failure vault. Personally, although I didn't close, I'm looking at it as a victory as she was substantially younger and hot as f$&. It seems as though I have ZERO problems attracting, and building repoir, but when it comes to closing I seem to reapeatedly wait too long, get friendzoned, get pissed, call them out, there goes girl. Wash.Rinse.Repeat.I'm learning though, always err on the side of action rather than inaction. That is what I'm learning now.Hope things get better brotha. We're all in this $hit together man.

 

[teddy]

Teddy-
You have no idea at all how your post hits home right now bro. I had the EXACT same experience recently. Almost to the T bro. Except mine is way worse. The teasing was over the top, drinking wine in a hot tub, explicit sexual talk, etc. She pulled the same $hit. In hindsight I realize that they were blatant buying signals, I just didn't escalate and close in a proper timeframe. Like someone said before, attraction is like that sell by date on the front of a loaf of bread. If that window closes, you are f#*($ed period. They are on to the next. Although I take responsibility for pulling the deer in headlights move in this particular situation, it sure is frustrating as $hit when they relegate you to the friends zone. I pulled an AFC move and acted all butt hurt and called her out, when in reality I should have pulled the indifferent card because I know it drives them bonkers. I am improving my body, and spinning other plates. Teddy that's all we can do homie. Just try to file it away in the "practice" vault instead of the failure vault. Personally, although I didn't close, I'm looking at it as a victory as she was substantially younger and hot as f$&. It seems as though I have ZERO problems attracting, and building repoir, but when it comes to closing I seem to reapeatedly wait too long, get friendzoned, get pissed, call them out, there goes girl. Wash.Rinse.Repeat.I'm learning though, always err on the side of action rather than inaction. That is what I'm learning now.Hope things get better brotha. We're all in this $hit together man.

See with my girl, the only buying signals I got is we drank wine and she was friendly and we did "date" stuff. And yet that can be construed as friendzone too. However, she put me on notice right away she had a bf and from what she said it seemed serious, so I think she was truly looking for friends (she knew no one else there except me).

How did you call her out? What did you say? I don't think calling her out is afc depending on how you do it...sometime you got to let them know that they are wasting your time.

 

[VladPatton]

They love a male following. The girl is the surfer, men are the ocean, and the large, foamy surf are her orbiters that carry her in good fun. It's all connected. Get the hell out of such situations.

 

[teddy]

They love a male following. The girl is the surfer, men are the ocean, and the large, foamy surf are her orbiters that carry her in good fun. It's all connected. Get the hell out of such situations.

Good. Even the AFC in me at the time detected that she was just trying to make me like her many guy friends. I'm glad I called her out on it.

 

[Wingedsig]

It got heated for sure.

I'm not going to get too into detail. Suffice it to say, the ONLY reason I didn't make a move is because I was 2 weeks into a new job and she was a co worker. Even though I wanted to f$&*# her brains out, I just played it cool. I have always had a don't fish off the company pier policy. If you would have seen this chick though it was like putting cake in front of a fat ass kid. In retrospect it's gonna be weird now that I called her out, so in reality probably should have just said eff it and railed her. Teddy, I just basically called her on all the $hit. Like so, do you always talk explicitly about sex and drink wine in the hot tub w your friends, etc. I get particularly pissed w attention *****s. You know the type 5k followers on Instagram, 2k friends on FB, etc. You know the type. F$*(#ing selfies every 3 seconds in your newsfeed. But you don't argue bc they are HOT as $hyt. And they know it. That's the problem. But here's the thing. I called her out, which I don't think she was used to.Hell, I even was the one to flake on her once and I think it threw her for a complete loop. Anyway, things are weird now, she got all icy on me, and I've gone no contact completely.I figure it will either drive her bonkers, and come sniffing out where I went, or she didn't give a damn to begin with. Either way, attempting to keep frame, even though in all reality that princess was probably in another castle a long time ago. I was just a temporary fascination. These younger chicks have ADD. So you have to close while the getting is good. For sure.

 

[teddy]

I'm not going to get too into detail. Suffice it to say, the ONLY reason I didn't make a move is because I was 2 weeks into a new job and she was a co worker. Even though I wanted to f$&*# her brains out, I just played it cool. I have always had a don't fish off the company pier policy. If you would have seen this chick though it was like putting cake in front of a fat ass kid. In retrospect it's gonna be weird now that I called her out, so in reality probably should have just said eff it and railed her. Teddy, I just basically called her on all the $hit. Like so, do you always talk explicitly about sex and drink wine in the hot tub w your friends, etc. I get particularly pissed w attention *****s. You know the type 5k followers on Instagram, 2k friends on FB, etc. You know the type. F$*(#ing selfies every 3 seconds in your newsfeed. But you don't argue bc they are HOT as $hyt. And they know it. That's the problem. But here's the thing. I called her out, which I don't think she was used to.Hell, I even was the one to flake on her once and I think it threw her for a complete loop. Anyway, things are weird now, she got all icy on me, and I've gone no contact completely.I figure it will either drive her bonkers, and come sniffing out where I went, or she didn't give a damn to begin with. Either way, attempting to keep frame, even though in all reality that princess was probably in another castle a long time ago. I was just a temporary fascination. These younger chicks have ADD. So you have to close while the getting is good. For sure.

I think you did just fine by calling her out. That's what I did and do now. You have to do it so you aren't played and you show you know what's up. The fact she went cold after that shows she was just trying to use you as a beta orbiter.

With my chick, what held me up was the BF and the fact she was probably in love with him. I called her out and she similarly got pissed (a joke, right? Why get pissed when the truth is simply stated?) and now there's no contact. Which feels great.

 

[nismo-4]

That is friendzone sh*t. It's a soft rejection.

Drop her ass.

 

[teddy]

That is friendzone sh*t. It's a soft rejection.

Drop her ass.

It was scary how psycho this ***** was in wanting to hang out all the time. Always texted me wanting to do something friday/saturday nights. I even blew her off several times (hence only 2 hangouts). So that's why I thought there was interest, so I'm glad I found out earlier, rather than spending years with this girl and becoming devastated.