I did what was to be done.

[sid_company33]

Been interested in a good friend for a while.was friendzoned.It was completely my fault, for I was stupid and didn't understand female psychology (thanks DJ'ers for making me realize the truth!). I literally cringe now when I remember how I behaved previously.

So anyways, I followed the basic tips, became less available, didn't tell her much about my whereabouts, started being more assertive and became aware of her manipulative endeavours.This was our last conversation on IM.



Sid. says:
hi amy what the **** is up yo
Amy says:
yo man
Sid. says:
man ****
i saw the funniest **** ever
im laughing so ****ing hard
atm
jesus ****ing christ
check this ****ing **** out man
my ****ing sides, one of the rare ****ing 10/10 moments
Amy says:
shut the **** up
where the **** have you been
Sid. says:
oh
hehe

You stopped sharing photos

Sid. says:
i was umm doing stuff
Amy says:
whatever.
Sid. says:
lol y u mad tho
Amy says:
I'm really ****ing tired of this you disappear for weeks you've been acting strange as **** and you don't tell me what has happened and what you've been doing
man whatever just
do what you want
Sid. says:
what the **** are you expecting?
are you my ****ing mother, you *****?
i don't ****ing have to tell you anything
I do whatever the **** I want.
You better ****ing get that.
Amy says:
Funny thing because just a few motnhs ago you were acting like my father and kept asking questions about my love life
So **** off.
Sid. says:
LOL what
Amy says:
We're done.
I'm tired of you.
Sid. says:
lol okay
Amy says:
You disappoint me.
Sid. says:
block me, as if i give a ****
I don't even have time for you, anyways.
I'll do it myself
Amy says:
Don't go sending me e-mails asking for my forgiveness

I just got ****ing angry when she DEMANDED information, Then I just spoke what was on my mind.She then BLUFFED to break off our friendship!

That's what the ***** does to turn the tides.Earlier I used to fall for it, and apologize.(now cringe at that gay behaviour) but not this time.I did what was necessary.Need your opinion on this, guys.

Is it over for real? Or is it just a tantrum? Did I mess it up, or was I good?

What would have you done?

 

[BPH]

What were you trying to accomplish here? The difference between being an AFC and a DJ isn't being an @$$. Sure she had bad behavior, but you reacted instead of just walking away (signing off).

 

[sid_company33]

Actually, after she said it was over and threatened to end our friendship (just a bluff to get me to apologize), I blocked her and signed off.Maybe I should have just signed off when she provoked me with her tantrum, but my self defense mechanism activated, lol, I'll keep that in mind next time!

What I wanted to accomplish was after a few days of absence, just have a great conversation with her, subtly hinting my sexual interest in her and making her laugh in general.But, rather than letting me carry the conversation ahead, she straight away starts enquiring in a RUDE tone about my absence instead and ignored the very funny pic I shared with her, right at the start.

I had no intention of being an ass.Rather, it was HER intention to coerce me into telling what I had been doing, IN A RUDE TONE!. I was eventually going to tell her, but the way she started the convo, it ****ing pissed me off.

 

[LearningSlowly]

If a girl wants drama, she needs REACTION. A DJ should not supply a girl with drama. You could have just said "I needed some space. Now look at this, its funny."

Here's what I saw here. You curse too much. A curse word should lend power to your words, not take power away. Also, she framed your sexual questions as being 'fatherly'. This means you are permanently friend zoned. There is no chance.

 

[sid_company33]

I'll keep that in mind, that I should not react to such provoking questions.. What I was thinking was that she was trying to get control of the situation and coercing me into giving an answer and giving a passive reply would make me lose control... and she's that kinda girl who'll not leave unanswered questions.

I thought she said that 'fatherly' part just as a counter because I said she sounded like my mother, lol. I thought she had a SLIGHT interest in me judging by how my absence drove her nuts, but, oh well. I'll start looking for other options, this one seems to be faltering.

Thanks for the tips guys, I really needed a DJ's view on this, I'm just 14, and didn't know jack **** about women, I'll try to learn by sticking along with you guys. General tips are always welcome

 

[Alvafe]

I think you curse too much, also you should just cool a little.

also 14? dude just study, owrk on your grades now and don't care much for girls now, course you can and should try to learn what you can now to make things more smooth later, but having a nice paying job will make things even better.

 

[BPH]

Huge overreaction

I found the whole conversation to be an overreaction.

 

[DanZy]

What are you trying to achieve by posting this?
Also you sound like a spoilt brat who just learnt the word fvck.

 

[sid_company33]

Those who say I swear too much, That's just how I speak with Amy.That's how we're with each other.

I know I overreacted. I had some false sense that reacting would help (thought it would help me look assertive), lol.I'll take care not to next time.Sorry to disappoint you DJ's.

What I wanted to achieve by posting this was to know if I have the slightest chance with her and whether I should apologize or not.

 

[Sneevox]

See, what you did wrong here was planning to do such a thing.
Planning.
Heh, I remember when I planned... then when things would go different from what I planned, sh!t always hit the fan.
Always.
It wasn't until I realized that actually being a person around someone instead of planning what I'd do and say was what actually worked.

The root behind planning is that you're trying to win the other person's gratitude, appreciation, acceptance, etc.

Is that what a Don Juan does?

No!

Remember, folks, a Don Juan does not plan, for he always knows what to do in every situation.

If you do not know what to do, don't worry. It will come to you after **** hits the fan because you didn't know what to do. Then, when that same thing happens, you can execute the simple action that you learned would work with the previous thing that caused you to fail, thus showing that experience is the only true way to always know what to do.

To sum this up, A Don Juan does not plan, for he always knows what to do.

 

[sid_company33]

Thanks for that Sneevox, that actually helped.

I'm now just wondering whether I should apologize or not. On one hand, apologizing might make me come off as needy while not apologizing might make me come off as a complete jerk, lol.

 

[P stranger]

Oh man, why do you act so mad.. Like, before you even started to conversation you seemed mad.. If you've been reading some in these threads you understand that being mad really doesn't help. Unless you actually want to just get her off your neck..

And I really don't know if shes going to come back from that one, because you really threated her like you didn't want to spend time on her. That's not something most people would come back to. But idk how your relationship to this girl is, looking at the way you two write.. Must be pretty rough, dam.

 

[Sneevox]

Thanks for that Sneevox, that actually helped.

I'm now just wondering whether I should apologize or not. On one hand, apologizing might make me come off as needy while not apologizing might make me come off as a complete jerk, lol.

Sometimes, being a Don Juan is being a good person. Think about the impact it may have on your relationship success if you do not apologize.

She will tell all of her girly friends what a "jerk you are" and such, and that is not a good thing. Besides, it's always good to just be a good person in general.

You know?

Being a Don Juan isn't about executing a ton of maneuvers and tactics in order to win the heart of a girl. If you're not a good person at heart, a girl will not want to stay with you for long!

Becoming a Don Juan is not about throwing away morals... it's about becoming a man.

Apologize when needed, do not apologize when it's not needed.

However, do not apologize more than once.

Apologize when neccessary, and only when necessary. Any more is being a nice guy.

Namaste.