Igetit! said:
Hmm. I think I misjudged you dude. This is actually true. Basically it's just frame control. It's just that the impression I originally got from you was this pie in the sky,Hollywood love story,pollyana naive view of dating. Going by your reaction to her saying yes to you when you asked her out,it seemed like this was the first time you ever had a date with a girl.
A+ here man. If you're tense and nervous in the presense of a woman,you hang around her long enough,then she'll start to feel tense and nervous too. If you can't give her anything positive,then just COMPLETELY get out of her presense until you can.
THIS.....I like.
Good as well.
This is good as well,however,what's the deal with this,"as much as I love her" statement? She just accepted a date with you not even two weeks ago,and ALREADY you're talking about love?
Now do you see why you've been getting the responses you've been getting?
Good advice here. Obviously you've learned some things about women and how to carry yourself around them. It's just that this didn't come across in your first few posts.
Focusing on being in the moment....Good.
As far as her reciprocating "those" feelings? In order for her to reciprocate ANYTHING from you,you'd have to give it to her first. Hopefully you already know this,but if you reveal your feelings to her FIRST,you'll probably turn her off. And as far as getting her something special if and when she does reciprocate those feelings,I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with you on this one.
I'm not telling you not to do this,I'm just saying that don't agree with you.
Nope,I wouldn't buy her a thing. I don't care if she does "reciprocate" my feelings towards her. If she buy me something FIRST,ok. If we've been dating for a while,and are in a relationship,and it's her birthday,then ok.
Christmas? Ok.
Valentine's Day? Ok.
Anniversary? Fine.
But imo,if you just start buying her things out of the blue....even if it's AFTER she's reciprocated your feelings,she probably start to misinterpet it as you trying to "buy her",which leads to insecurity/putting her on a pedistal/you know the rest.
Just my opinion.
Damn man! Thank you for that advice! You just gave me a whole new perspective on gifts and the whole reciprocation of feelings.
The reason why I said I loved her was because when I met her, it literally was a love at first sight moment and I was just so energetic and so happy to the point where I was all dizzy, light headed and heavy all over my body. When I saw the top 10 mistakes that guys make, and I saw the letter in #5, I had to seek advice and that's why I came here.
I've been in a total of 8 relationships before and they all led to the same result:
I was the one that ALWAYS got hurt in the end and most of them didn't even last a month. The longest relationship I've ever been in was 6 months and when it ended I was torn beyond belief. SHE dumped ME for another guy. I didn't know what was wrong, I refused to change and didn't take any advice back then. This was back in High School, about 6 years ago. For a LONG time afterwards I was desperate and I didn't know what to do at the time. Then I realized I had my music, so I started to focus on that more and I eventually began to realize that I was actually feeling content being single and that I could enjoy being by myself, thanks to my music.
And this to me was a MAJOR breakthrough in my past habits.
Fast forward to now:
I'm super happy with myself. I've been doing Self-Improvement for the past 13 months, since I saw "The Secret" which introduced the Law of Attraction and that's what started the whole Self-Improvement movement for me. As I did more research, I began to think more positively, bought and read a TON of books on wealth, purchased audios and what have you but I didn't get the change I was seeking. Yet.
Fast forward to about a month ago. I woke up one morning and I was SO SICK of my financial situation that I HAD to do something. A week earlier I called someone about some success club he was running. And when I woke up that morning I get a call from the same guy and he told me about this sweet business opportunity and I jumped in.
Fast forward to like 3 weeks ago. I took a HUGE leap of faith and went to Arizona for the business seminars, NOT knowing how I was gonna get back. When I got there, I wasn't even REMOTELY focused on a relationship. I went there for business and that was it..........
Until I met........."Her." The girl of my dreams. The girl I had been picturing since High School showed up before my very own eyes in Arizona.
When I read Mistake #5, I KNEW I had screwed up, but after realizing I was still friends with her, I started seeking for help and advice. But I wasn't gonna do ANYTHING whatsoever, until
I gained some confidence and self-esteem. So I went to the So Suave website and read a LOT of the materials on there. I was already watching Arkady39's video's and those were helping me out, too. A LOT, actually.
I come HERE to this forum and I get nothing but negativity and that I'm gonna screw up, this, that, etc. It drove me NUTS. lol But it's OK, cause I didn't let it get to me at the end of the day.
I am taking and seeking ALL the advice I can get so I don't screw this one up. This is why I'm keeping my distance from her if I'm anxious, tense or whatever and precisely why I'm not calling her all the time, either. We do talk everyday but if I'm working and she calls, I just tell her that I'll call her back when I'm finished. Cause now, every time we talk we are on the phone for a minimum of a half hour. So if I'm working and she calls, I won't be able to listen to her the way I want to and be a good listener. So I just tell her that I'll call her back and I ALWAYS do.
I ALWAYS stand by my word. Period. No excuses.
My focus NOW is NOT on the relationship since I have that already. I've been reading up on mirroring, building rapport, and seduction. And THIS is what I need help on.
I'm coming to find out that there are some "sweet spots" on a woman's body where if you touch those spots the right way, you can seduce her very quickly.
I also want to learn hypnotic phrases that seduce a woman, too. So when I talk to her, I can say some hypnotic phrases here and there and seduce her over the phone. I think this would have an amazing effect! ESPECIALLY when I leave messages when I call her and she's not there. The thought of this REALLY excites me actually.
So Kevin, I'm open to any advice you can give me on seduction.
Later,
Sina