I did hurt my husband...

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isabelle49000

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Hello my name is Isabelle. I am sorry for that bad english but as you did guess it's not my native language...

I am married since 1 year with Raj, a lovely man I met few years ago in Delhi. Now, we are living together in Paris, france. I am 38 years old and he's 29.

Im a beautician and my hubby is a constructor work and a bit macho (he has been a military there).All is great but with the job and daily things to do I struggle to get some time with my husband. To fix that, we did decide to make some sport together. What was the more complicated was to find a sport that can fit for both of us. I wanted salsa or a dance sport but he refuses, he wants tennis but i hate racket sport... So finally after hours of search and discussion he proposed me judo. I first refuse it but because I see we were blocked I said ok let's try it...

Finally, after 5 lessons, we both had fun going there. I had the feeling to improve and feel really good practicing. We were on the same club, same training but we had our partner for the "fight part" in the end of the lesson. My hubby tease me always after the lesson on the car saying "so you're not too much tired? It's more tough than painting nails ..."

Last week, my partner was away so just before the fight part my hubby look at me with a "challenging smile". He ask me to try it with him. I am more 10cm taller and outweight him for... a decent amount of kg but he is a military so sure let's do it!

He tease me a bit telling me he'll show me "who's my boss"... We hang each other kimono and turn around. I pull his sleeve, to the left, to the right, I straighten my leg out and fall on him to the ground. He struggle to escape but I block him and count to 5 (we need to block the opponent 5 sec to win) by holding his both arms... His face was all red and while I help him to get up I can't hide myself from smiling.

Now he seems really focus and we start again. I still smile while he seems really serious. I pull his kimono again and got him the exact same way. On the ground I sit on him and block his arm. I bend its and stare at him asking him "you give you give?". While he struggle and make stranges noises I whisper to his ear "give up dear "miss fatty" got you!", he finally shout "stop" after i bend his arm a bit more. I get up and prepare for the 3rd round with still a large smile on my face but he walk and sit on a bank, waiting for the end of the lesson...

He asked me to drive and I struggle to not have the bizarre silence that can sometimes happen. He just say nothing and i make a monologue about housework or whatever. Seems that he told me he doesnt want to go there anymore. I laugh a bit at first asking him if it's because I beat him but he answer me aggressivly that no, he just think it's suck.

Seems that, I haven't talk to him about that anymore but he look different, like he worry about something or i don't know. He's so cold with me, never laugh and seems even a bit depress...

I really didn't want to hurt him or whatever and now I don't know how can I fix that.

Do you have an idea?
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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He isn’t macho at all then. It’s all fake to make himself feel more manly than he really is.
 

marmel75

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Sounds like you have some underlying issues going on that nobody wants to talk about.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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No woman should be able to manhandle a man, mug less one who is in his 20s and is in the military. Especially not by a woman who is into beauty and paints fingernails and such.
 

isabelle49000

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No woman should be able to manhandle a man, mug less one who is in his 20s and is in the military. Especially not by a woman who is into beauty and paints fingernails and such.
I really outweight him (30kg+...) and I don't seee the connection between my job and the fact that I beat him in judo ;)
 

FwoGiZ

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I'll be very humble here and I'll have to admit that this is one of our flaws as a guy but it's totally normal. I remember losing at a very strategic board game against my ex, which was very frustrating to me cause I knew she had no idea what she was doing cause she wasn't smart enough but she just lucked out, then she was basically doing what you did to your husband, laughed at me. I was younger and quite beta at that point so it got me quite mad. The reason is, she indirectly damaged my frame. I understand why women do that, it's cause they don't understand that concept and that's totally normal. Some guy could just brush it off but now if we're talking judo, which is more of a manly sport, then it's just too damaging. How it's being computed in his brain is that if sh1t ever hits the fan, then he would have to rely on you to protect him? No guy wants to experience that. He feels weakened and deep down, as a women, you will subconsciously look down on him.
Is it legit? Yes and no...
I mean... would he lose a fight VS you if it was a real fight? Cause let's be realistic here... judo isn't real fighting. And you guys are both beginners so obviously raw strength/weight should be enough to win. Now if there was fist and punches involved, the outcome might be different, or so I hope... But he didn't analyse it this way. So now he feels weaker than you, very frustrating for a guy but that's his problem.

A red pill women would know that kinda thing and never make her husband lose his face, specially in public. It's ridiculous and once again, I say that with humility, but this is just how it is.

So yeah, I would say you fcked up a bit there.... don't force him to go back there.. move on to something else. Do not rub it in his face, do not tell anyone about that event if not he'll rightfully so see that as you attacking his manliness.

How much do you weight tho? and what about him? This seems like a very weird situation there...
Would you say you are the type of women that likes to be in charge when it comes to decisions at home? Or you prefer being lead by him?
And what about him?
 

isabelle49000

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Ow well. I remember that in the beggining of our relationship we did play chess because he did play it in high school. He did teach me the rules, we played couple of games and after 9 or 10 I started to win more than I loose. He was mad everytime and one day he did just refuse to play...

I am 1m82 for 110kg, he is 1m70 for 75kg (somethng like that).

for decision at home, he decide for most and generally I just accept it. i have no problem if he rules most of our daily things.
 

Reykhel

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Ow well. I remember that in the beggining of our relationship we did play chess because he did play it in high school. He did teach me the rules, we played couple of games and after 9 or 10 I started to win more than I loose. He was mad everytime and one day he did just refuse to play...

I am 1m82 for 110kg, he is 1m70 for 75kg (somethng like that).

for decision at home, he decide for most and generally I just accept it. i have no problem if he rules most of our daily things.
Didn't read it all...

You're 110kg, he's 75kg. You are grossly overweight, so you crushed the poor fella...

He probably fears you a little bit. But that this not make him a weakling or a coward.
He fears you like he would fear a baby elephant in his living room.

see here:
loveshack.com
 

Kultam

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Oh lol. Hes so tiny compaaring to you. Maybe lose some weight?

Didn't read it all...

You're 110kg, he's 75kg. You are grossly overweight, so you crushed the poor fella...

He probably fears you a little bit. But that this not make him a weakling or a coward.
He fears you like he would fear a baby elephant in his living room.

see here:
loveshack.com
Is this your website?
 

isabelle49000

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Didn't read it all...

You're 110kg, he's 75kg. You are grossly overweight, so you crushed the poor fella...

He probably fears you a little bit. But that this not make him a weakling or a coward.
He fears you like he would fear a baby elephant in his living room.

see here:
loveshack.com
Haha! well he was the one who challenging me. He was sure to take the upperhand but to be honest it was pretty easy for me to put him on the ground. i just had to pull his sleeve to the left and the right couple of time before he loose balance. On the ground, when I was on him, I knew he has no chance to escape but it was so fun to see her face turning red struggling :p

No way he fear me! (i hope) and thx for the baby elephant in the living room :p
 

FwoGiZ

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Total delusion right here... whatever
he's prolly scared to say anything for fear of being crushed, pun intended
 

isabelle49000

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Come on!!There is no way he's scared of me!

1) he s a military, his nob is to fight for protecting his country
2) I didn't hurt him. i just put him on the ground and pin him
3) he did change in the sense he's more aggressive when he talk to me (when ever he talk..).
 
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