I cheated on my GF, advice needed.

[Kaos-DJ]

Last night I cheated on my GF of four months. We see each other twice a week if lucky, but keep very strong contact. Last night I had a friends party, and she couldn't make it. A couple of hours and a few too many drinks into it, I found myself down the throat of another girl I know... we were at it for maybe a few minutes max. My fingers also went downstairs, but that was it. I feel like ****, because I am still more than attached to my girl. The fact that I was drunk is no excuse, I actually remember 90% of it... I don't want to tell my girl, because she has been through a bit the last year or so, and this will break her. I know I have learnt my damn lesson... thats for sure. I'm not really sure how to approach this for myself, as it's the first time its ever happened, any advice on how I should look at this situation would be much appreciated... I am fairly adamant that the gf not find out, because it will destroy her, us, and I know i've ****ed myself over it enough already...

thankyou

 

[NewMan]

Are you sure she will not find out?

The worse thing would be to lie to her.

If you caqn Guarantee she will not find out then I would suggest you learn your lesson and move on.

If thats not the case - tell her.

But when you tell her, tell her that you kissed a girl, but that she made the move on you - and that it was a few seconds maximum - and that you pushed her away.......

You basically tell her that it was not you who initiated it, but it was you that ended it.

Good luck.

 

[Kaos-DJ]

I can guarantee 100% she won't find out. And yeah I won't lie to her either, thanks bud . I just feel like complete **** for this. I know I would be a mess if I found out she did the same... If I end up being with her for a long time, say a year, then I will spill it... it's just somethin she doesnt need right now.

 

[Ridingthelightning]

You need to be honest with her. Thats my belief. I've had trouble with staying true to my girl because I see her once a week. I haven't done anything yet, but I really wanna talk to this extremely hot chick that was eyeing me one day. I was a douchebag for not doing anything about her simply because she's the hottest girl I've seen at my University, hands down.
But back to the issue...
Honesty is a virtue, one that everyone needs, and few have. Be a man, accept your infidelity, and take your medicine, whatever it may be.

 

[Kaos-DJ]

I understand completely, however she's the first i've been in a proper relationship with, and *at this stage* telling her everything is just outta the question. I more need feedback on how I should think about it for myself... The girl I did it with regrets it also, and blames us both making a huge drunken mistake... at least there were no feelings involved from either side...

 

[DEKKA]

is that a concience i smell?

aside from the fact that it's a males nature to cheat....
you didn't even really cheat bro.
you didn't even getcha d!ck wet.
plus, you were drunk.
AND she came onto you <---- I threw that in there.

you'll be fine.

i just wonder whos idea monogamy was cuz i don't think it was a male plan. lmfao. anywayz.

like it says in the 48 laws of power, admiting mistakes only makes them worse. if you forget about it, it will go away. if it comes back, you can always refer to the second paragraph when making your denial.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by DEKKA

you didn't even really cheat bro.
plus, you were drunk.
AND she came onto you <---- I threw that in there.

What are you, a woman? This is stupid advice.

Kaos - couple options off the top of my head

1) Just go on without telling her about it
2) Be honest with her about it
3) Break up with her, don't tell her the exact reason but don't lie about it either - E.G. "at this point in my life I don't think I could handle a relationship"

 

[Oxide]

you want an advice? Dont tell her.

 

[NewMan]

I understand completely, however she's the first i've been in a proper relationship with, and *at this stage* telling her everything is just outta the question. I more need feedback on how I should think about it for myself... The girl I did it with regrets it also, and blames us both making a huge drunken mistake... at least there were no feelings involved from either side...

Then you have answered this for yourself no?

you want us to tell you that it's ok not to tell her?

Then it's ok not to tell her.

Your not looking for advice - your looking for someone to tell you what you want to hear.

Your young, dumb (no offense) and full of come.

You should not be in a relationship - you should be fvcking around with multiple chicks. This is doombed to fail.

 

[lerxst]

It's simple. If she don't ask, you don't tell. And if you get found out just say "It wasn't me" and to don't back down from that. Besides, all it was was some head, and head don't count. You can thank that president for getting you out of that one.

 

[Walk this Way]

Just tell her. If your girlfriend cheated on you, would you prefer her be silent about it or be upfront and tell you and apologize?

 

[bob2007]

Originally posted by Walk this Way
Just tell her. If your girlfriend cheated on you, would you prefer her be silent about it or be upfront and tell you and apologize?

If your girlfriend cheated on you, obviously you'd want to know about it!! BUT.... if she didn't tell you, would you love her more if you didn't know as opposed to knowing that she cheated?

Nothing good can come from telling her. She'll feel like ****, there'd be some drama. It'd obviously not be pleasant for her to know.

Unless you're the type that feels guilty all the time and feel it nagging your conscience, don't tell her.

 

[bigfatjuanita]

dude, i cheated on my girlfriend a few weeks ago. the day or 2 ofter i went strait to her house and told her. keepin it from her is pretty stupid IMO. i was baling my eyes out when i told her because i really like her. usually i don't show my true emotions around her but when i cheated on her i couldn't help myself. anyway she forgave me and everythings cool now. she liked me so much that she forgot about it. i'd tell her if i were you.

just remember if she doesn't want anything to do with you after you tell her don't blame her. just keep a positive attitude and move on.

 

[Oxide]

Am i missing something here? Why do you keep telling him to add more drama to his relationship, if he can continue with it smoothly, by not letting her know?!

It depends on how much you like the girl. I woudnt tell her if i just wanted sex from her, but if i thought we might be going somewhere (marriage) then id see what she thinks.

 

[myfriendblu]

First, How old are You? I can solve your problems easily.

 

[MacAvoy]

If you are 100% serious about getting into a committed LTR with this girl, then the only real option is to tell her. I have learned that honesty is the only policy in a relationship. I have learned this after watching multiple womens' worlds being torn apart by my stupidity.

However if your under 25 (maturity level), then you probably need to make a few mistakes still and learn the hard way. So if that's the case, see what you can get away with....stroke your ego.

I know you feel like you actually care about her and don't want to see her hurt, but in the end if you really did care about her that much, you wouldn't even be asking this question.

 

[CLOONEY]

From all my experience I have learned DO NOT FUKCING TELL HER UNLESS YOU ARE A FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sh*t happens, its not like u are married, and even then I wouldnt tell her. Ignorance is bliss. If you felt so bad about it, just make sure it doesnt happen again!! U tell her and your relationship is FUKCED!!

Just admit to yourself it happened, it was wrong, and dont do it again, its pretty simple really!

 

[golf299]

here's the bottom line: do not tell her. any good psychiatrist will tell you the same thing. nothing good will come out of you telling her. absolutely nothing. do not tell her unless you want to ruin the relationship for good.

don't be a moron and let it (cheating) happen again.

 

[nath]

personally u seem like a *****. what if ur gf finds out, ur out to have fun, do whatever u want

 

[Player_Supreme]

Is this a real post???? Are you serious about feeling so bad??? You've only been dating your ho...uhhh sorry GirlFriend for only 4 months and your feeling bad for being like the REAL Don Juan?

WTF!

And you posted this? This is the reason that there needs to be a room just for REAL players and then the other folks!

Dayum if you only knew how many times I've cheated on women. Then I got smart and just kept my **** in the light.

I hope your not stooopid like this post sounds...I truely hope you do not tell your girl...

This post makes me wanna hurl!! I didnt' know MEN could be so weak.