Blue Phoenix
Master Don Juan
This is a very good thread!
I challenge the core of sosuave
- Thread starter Lifeforce
- Start date
Matt Rogers
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2003
- Messages
- 618
- Reaction score
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I agree with what you are challenging but i do not believe it represents the core of sosuave. To me sosuave has been about developing an attitude from which DJ behaviour flows. If you try and do the behaviour (kino, c and f etc) without the attitude you are destined to fail. That is what is wrong with a lot of the seduction boards especially SS-they try and give you tricks to get women, rather than focusing on moulding you into the sort of man who women are attracted to.
I disagree with the point about closing on women. While I never do absolute cold approaches apart from in bars and clubs, I have found that developing the confidence through regular practice such that I can walk up to a girl who is a comparative stranger, talk to her without fear and ask her for her number, has been one of the best ways for getting over my shyness. This in turn means that when I meet a girl I really like through a friend or something I can talk to her while staying completely relaxed.
I agree that sosuave has turned me into a bit of a jerk, but beforehand I was far too polite and subservient to women, and now I can stand up to women albeit too much. I know that I will soon find the balance-it is just a part of the learning process.
And yeah, there is a lot of rubbish on this site, but if you question what you read rather than blindly accepting it as gospel, and undestand the attitude and principles behind each tip you can separate the wheat from the chaff and there is some high quality wheat on this site!!!
I disagree with the point about closing on women. While I never do absolute cold approaches apart from in bars and clubs, I have found that developing the confidence through regular practice such that I can walk up to a girl who is a comparative stranger, talk to her without fear and ask her for her number, has been one of the best ways for getting over my shyness. This in turn means that when I meet a girl I really like through a friend or something I can talk to her while staying completely relaxed.
I agree that sosuave has turned me into a bit of a jerk, but beforehand I was far too polite and subservient to women, and now I can stand up to women albeit too much. I know that I will soon find the balance-it is just a part of the learning process.
And yeah, there is a lot of rubbish on this site, but if you question what you read rather than blindly accepting it as gospel, and undestand the attitude and principles behind each tip you can separate the wheat from the chaff and there is some high quality wheat on this site!!!
Giovanni Casanova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2002
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- 5,550
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- 45
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- Hiding in Penkitten's Linen Closet
Dude, if Ross Jeffries, David DeAngelo, mASF, Mental Seduction, et cetera are the core of sosuave, then I challenge it too!
However, hopefully that isn't the "core" of this site.
However, hopefully that isn't the "core" of this site.
One on One
Master Don Juan
I think a lot of people go about this site in a very backwards way. People here want to know what to do in a situation when I think they should just act as they are so inclined and then look at why something happened the way it did.
Some of the topics on the first page right now:
- How to Combat 'Cant be Arsed'ness'?
- Went To Dance, Now What?
- How to close the deal with a college classmate?
Most of the threads are about situations and asking what they should do next. It would be much better if people acted first, and asked questions later. Just act on your impulses.
If you have the urge to call a girl the very next day, DO IT! It might work out with that girl and, if it doesn't, well then maybe you can say you need to get more things going on in your life so you don't want to call right away.
Some of the topics on the first page right now:
- How to Combat 'Cant be Arsed'ness'?
- Went To Dance, Now What?
- How to close the deal with a college classmate?
Most of the threads are about situations and asking what they should do next. It would be much better if people acted first, and asked questions later. Just act on your impulses.
If you have the urge to call a girl the very next day, DO IT! It might work out with that girl and, if it doesn't, well then maybe you can say you need to get more things going on in your life so you don't want to call right away.
MRomeo99
Don Juan
I’m going to disagree, but mostly because I disagree with everything you post Lifeforce (just kidding). I agree with some of your premise, most of the questions and answers posted here are pure crap. You have to wade through a lot of silly bull**** to get to the good stuff.
However, let me explain what I truly believe to be the state of affairs here at SoSuave.com. When a guy arrives here he is somewhat desperate. He wants to make a change. Maybe he has been successful with women in the past, and maybe not. But, he is looking to improve. He is asking himself, why haven’t I gotten the success I want with women? Read the book Sexual Intelligence, 75% of the American population believes sex is an integral part of their life, and only 33% of them are satisfied with their sex life. So, he reads this site in an effort to improve himself, to learn new techniques, new philosophies, and new ideas. To question his actions of the past, and see if he can improve them in the future to attain his desires.
For many of the men on this web site and others, they have never approached a woman with the idea to ask her out. Yet they find information, inspiration and motivation to do so. By reading from other guys who have experienced the same and similar experiences. Reading the Boot Camp by Walden is incredibly inspiring. They realize they are not alone. They realize they can change, and maybe for the first time they realize that they don’t have to be stuck being miserable. 95% of the guys on this website will NEVER become a true DJ, or ladies man, or whatever (if not 99.9%). But, that’s ok, because many guys will enrich their lives at least a little. Maybe they realize what they did wrong with this one relationship, and vow not to make that same mistake again. Maybe they actually get the balls to go and talk to someone they are interested in. Everyone’s success will differ. Yet any success is still success. You appear to be happy with where you are in life, and that is fantastic. Your goals and techniques are completely different than mine, as they are from the other 12,000 odd members here (Yes Vincent, I’m calling you odd. <grin>).
The core of SoSuave.com is not a technique, or even one philosophy. The core of SoSuave.com is get off your ass and do something about where you want to go in life, and who you want to be. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Many of them conflicting, fun isn’t it. The point of SoSuave.com and self-enrichment, is not to take all of this information and swallow it whole unquestioned. The point of SoSuave.com is to take everything in, and question it all, see if it makes sense to you. There are no self-proclaimed gurus here, whose knowledge is accepted as automatically correct. It’s just a bunch of guys trying to help each other out, and share what works. Let’s say you read something in the bible and it just doesn’t feel right to you, but it leads you to another breakthrough in your development. This happened to me just last week; I realized a MAJOR mistake I had made in my past relationships that I am determined not to repeat again. That’s the core of SoSuave. Although I do agree that anyone attempting to stay completely within the bounds of correct “Djism” is bound for failure. Every situation is different.
As far as your assertion that the posts of Pook represent some unattainable ideal. Perhaps. However, because we cannot realistically attain the ideal, does that mean it’s not worthy to at least try. I will never be a Harry Connick Jr. Yet, I like to play the piano, and I want to be better. Should I quit because I can never attain Harry Connick-ness, or Pook-ness? It’s always beneficial to strive to your maximum, even if you never reach your goals, the effort of trying in and of itself transforms you.
So, fundamentally I disagree with your assertion that the core of Sosuave.com is wrong and misleading. I just think you have mischaracterized it. And mischaracterized what others are achieving with their membership here. I would venture to say there are thousands of people around the world whose lives have become richer as a result of this board. Actually I’d be willing to bet quite a large amount on it. At least $2-3 bucks. But, I respect your right to question everything on this board. That is your prerogative.
Ultimately Lifeforce you came to the realization that was in front of you all this time. You are your own man, with your own unique identity. And the only one who can change you, is you. And not a single thing in the bible or anywhere on this board is going to change you, until YOU do the work to change yourself. You no longer need this board, or any of us. You are becoming who you have chosen to be. And that is so "right", it's a thing of beauty. Although my social calender is booked until January, so I'm definitely NOT asking you out. <grin>
Romeo
However, let me explain what I truly believe to be the state of affairs here at SoSuave.com. When a guy arrives here he is somewhat desperate. He wants to make a change. Maybe he has been successful with women in the past, and maybe not. But, he is looking to improve. He is asking himself, why haven’t I gotten the success I want with women? Read the book Sexual Intelligence, 75% of the American population believes sex is an integral part of their life, and only 33% of them are satisfied with their sex life. So, he reads this site in an effort to improve himself, to learn new techniques, new philosophies, and new ideas. To question his actions of the past, and see if he can improve them in the future to attain his desires.
For many of the men on this web site and others, they have never approached a woman with the idea to ask her out. Yet they find information, inspiration and motivation to do so. By reading from other guys who have experienced the same and similar experiences. Reading the Boot Camp by Walden is incredibly inspiring. They realize they are not alone. They realize they can change, and maybe for the first time they realize that they don’t have to be stuck being miserable. 95% of the guys on this website will NEVER become a true DJ, or ladies man, or whatever (if not 99.9%). But, that’s ok, because many guys will enrich their lives at least a little. Maybe they realize what they did wrong with this one relationship, and vow not to make that same mistake again. Maybe they actually get the balls to go and talk to someone they are interested in. Everyone’s success will differ. Yet any success is still success. You appear to be happy with where you are in life, and that is fantastic. Your goals and techniques are completely different than mine, as they are from the other 12,000 odd members here (Yes Vincent, I’m calling you odd. <grin>).
The core of SoSuave.com is not a technique, or even one philosophy. The core of SoSuave.com is get off your ass and do something about where you want to go in life, and who you want to be. There are a thousand different viewpoints. Many of them conflicting, fun isn’t it. The point of SoSuave.com and self-enrichment, is not to take all of this information and swallow it whole unquestioned. The point of SoSuave.com is to take everything in, and question it all, see if it makes sense to you. There are no self-proclaimed gurus here, whose knowledge is accepted as automatically correct. It’s just a bunch of guys trying to help each other out, and share what works. Let’s say you read something in the bible and it just doesn’t feel right to you, but it leads you to another breakthrough in your development. This happened to me just last week; I realized a MAJOR mistake I had made in my past relationships that I am determined not to repeat again. That’s the core of SoSuave. Although I do agree that anyone attempting to stay completely within the bounds of correct “Djism” is bound for failure. Every situation is different.
As far as your assertion that the posts of Pook represent some unattainable ideal. Perhaps. However, because we cannot realistically attain the ideal, does that mean it’s not worthy to at least try. I will never be a Harry Connick Jr. Yet, I like to play the piano, and I want to be better. Should I quit because I can never attain Harry Connick-ness, or Pook-ness? It’s always beneficial to strive to your maximum, even if you never reach your goals, the effort of trying in and of itself transforms you.
So, fundamentally I disagree with your assertion that the core of Sosuave.com is wrong and misleading. I just think you have mischaracterized it. And mischaracterized what others are achieving with their membership here. I would venture to say there are thousands of people around the world whose lives have become richer as a result of this board. Actually I’d be willing to bet quite a large amount on it. At least $2-3 bucks. But, I respect your right to question everything on this board. That is your prerogative.
Ultimately Lifeforce you came to the realization that was in front of you all this time. You are your own man, with your own unique identity. And the only one who can change you, is you. And not a single thing in the bible or anywhere on this board is going to change you, until YOU do the work to change yourself. You no longer need this board, or any of us. You are becoming who you have chosen to be. And that is so "right", it's a thing of beauty. Although my social calender is booked until January, so I'm definitely NOT asking you out. <grin>
Romeo
Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
I think first and foremost, the most important things this site teaches guys is right at the beginning:
1) Don't chase and supplicate women.
How many AFC type guys have chased and chased women, and really wasted alot of time pursuing the impossible? This is unhealthy behaviour.
2) Have a spine, don't be walked all over
3) Stop acting like the feminists want you too, act like a man.
4) Gain confidence, be confident, by doing whatever you need to in order to get there - I.e., workout etc.
5) Recognise the fact that there are alot of women out there, and don't settle, as so many other guys do.
6) Looking out for numero uno is not selfish, and expecting the best for yourself is not selfish.
This is the core stuff, at least to me, that this site is about, and it's stuff that I, and a great many people here, really needed a kick in the butt about, because I'm sure, in this twisted society we live in, we were making all kinds of these mistakes over and over, and were not living the kind of life we wanted.
As a 21 year old, yeah, I was getting laid, but I was either not getting the women I wanted, or settling for second best and I really ended up with the short end of the stick.
I supplicated to my girlfriends in my relationships. Consequently, I had unhappy relationships, and it was all because of my own behaviour.
I envy any 19 year old who comes on here and learns what no one ever taught me when I was that age. Because for all intents and purposes, at least with regards to my lovelife, I wasted a good many years with a good many women who where just plain awful.
Everything else on this site is just technique, and you use it at your own discretion.
1) Don't chase and supplicate women.
How many AFC type guys have chased and chased women, and really wasted alot of time pursuing the impossible? This is unhealthy behaviour.
2) Have a spine, don't be walked all over
3) Stop acting like the feminists want you too, act like a man.
4) Gain confidence, be confident, by doing whatever you need to in order to get there - I.e., workout etc.
5) Recognise the fact that there are alot of women out there, and don't settle, as so many other guys do.
6) Looking out for numero uno is not selfish, and expecting the best for yourself is not selfish.
This is the core stuff, at least to me, that this site is about, and it's stuff that I, and a great many people here, really needed a kick in the butt about, because I'm sure, in this twisted society we live in, we were making all kinds of these mistakes over and over, and were not living the kind of life we wanted.
As a 21 year old, yeah, I was getting laid, but I was either not getting the women I wanted, or settling for second best and I really ended up with the short end of the stick.
I supplicated to my girlfriends in my relationships. Consequently, I had unhappy relationships, and it was all because of my own behaviour.
I envy any 19 year old who comes on here and learns what no one ever taught me when I was that age. Because for all intents and purposes, at least with regards to my lovelife, I wasted a good many years with a good many women who where just plain awful.
Everything else on this site is just technique, and you use it at your own discretion.
Ownership of your Life.
On a good number of points, as incoherent as some of it was, I agree.
It boils down to this: Owning Your Life.
Many people ALLOW themselves to be victims of circumstances. Well...
Frankly, WE'RE all victims of circumstances. How about the guy with great genetics but no brains? Maybe he aspires to be CEO, yet has no mind for such business? Sure, he can lay chicks, but his happiness is in being a business player, not a master seducer.
Or what of the guy born with skills so mighty as Bill Gates? Perhaps his passion is laying chicks, but his destiny is building the first time machine? Should he shun he destiny and future on behalf of such desires that might make him happy?
Realize, life is unfair, we're born that, and it's OUR job to add balance to it. Not some God, not our friends, not our family. YOUR's. MINE. OUR's.
Recently I've been socializing with a friend who's 39 (near 40 in 9 months). He's single, successful, and fit. But to him, he's ambled along aimlessly, with pursuits here and there of beautiful young women. He's taken the initiative to realize WHAT HIS LIFE BECOMES IS ONLY THROUGH HIS DOING.
Realizing it we don't take ownership of our life, the aimless forces outside of ourselves will motivates you to action.
ON MEETING WOMEN.
They're everywhere. You don't have to approach EVERY girl, only the ones you might want to date.
Case-in-points:
My older friend and I went to a Black Tie event way under-dressed. We ended up going to the pre-party event, only decked out in blazers, button-ups, and jeans. Upon socializing at the party, we made loads of connections with older women (30+) who were successful, single, and beautiful. We weren't into the whole volunteer thing afterwards, but we were coaxed by the ladies to go. [We were out numbered 2:1, once at the even that jumped to 6:1 - seems women love fundraisers.]
We both met great girls, at least for that night and had fun, on our terms. But had we not taken control of our lives, and made the drive to Boston, then met the people, and even proceeded to attend the event, none of that would have happened.
So stop rationalizing, analyzing, and trying label everything in life and GO WITH THE FLOW of life.
A-Unit
On a good number of points, as incoherent as some of it was, I agree.
It boils down to this: Owning Your Life.
Many people ALLOW themselves to be victims of circumstances. Well...
Frankly, WE'RE all victims of circumstances. How about the guy with great genetics but no brains? Maybe he aspires to be CEO, yet has no mind for such business? Sure, he can lay chicks, but his happiness is in being a business player, not a master seducer.
Or what of the guy born with skills so mighty as Bill Gates? Perhaps his passion is laying chicks, but his destiny is building the first time machine? Should he shun he destiny and future on behalf of such desires that might make him happy?
Realize, life is unfair, we're born that, and it's OUR job to add balance to it. Not some God, not our friends, not our family. YOUR's. MINE. OUR's.
Recently I've been socializing with a friend who's 39 (near 40 in 9 months). He's single, successful, and fit. But to him, he's ambled along aimlessly, with pursuits here and there of beautiful young women. He's taken the initiative to realize WHAT HIS LIFE BECOMES IS ONLY THROUGH HIS DOING.
Realizing it we don't take ownership of our life, the aimless forces outside of ourselves will motivates you to action.
ON MEETING WOMEN.
They're everywhere. You don't have to approach EVERY girl, only the ones you might want to date.
Case-in-points:
My older friend and I went to a Black Tie event way under-dressed. We ended up going to the pre-party event, only decked out in blazers, button-ups, and jeans. Upon socializing at the party, we made loads of connections with older women (30+) who were successful, single, and beautiful. We weren't into the whole volunteer thing afterwards, but we were coaxed by the ladies to go. [We were out numbered 2:1, once at the even that jumped to 6:1 - seems women love fundraisers.]
We both met great girls, at least for that night and had fun, on our terms. But had we not taken control of our lives, and made the drive to Boston, then met the people, and even proceeded to attend the event, none of that would have happened.
So stop rationalizing, analyzing, and trying label everything in life and GO WITH THE FLOW of life.
A-Unit
Soma
Banned
Other than being fun and interesting it's also scary and intimidating. AND THAT is why I do it. If you choose to go through life accepting the limited beliefs which were handed to you and never dare to conquer your fears, that's your life. It's all good. As for me, I can't allow myself to live a life in fear like that. I'd rather live a life of love, adventure, and challenge.
haha yes it was REALLY hard to not get this chick who was so attracted so me, but
my ultimative techniques made it =]
some other strange stories:
i was at a club dancing and one chick came up to me and started rubbing her azz against my d1ck and so on, than she turned around and danced hard and close, than she playfully hit me with her leg in my balls(didnt hurt)....i stopped dancing and thought what the fvck should i do now??than i realized i could not take any sh1t from a chick and hit her HARD with my forearms against her t1ts....and walked away....than i was sitting at the bar and she came to me and threw her longdrink over my jeans, guess i deserved that
but it's okay when you prefer fighting instead of having a dirty ONS
!other story i was introduced to a girl and talked to her for about 30minutes.....she was totally nervous in the beginning but became comfortable with time......than she said she had to look after her friends or so, and if i wait here. i said okay but than i thought i could not take orders from a girl....omg ****....and also i fvcked it up because i talked to her too long......than i talked to 2 friends watching her with her friends.....after 3minutes i got so angry about how i fvcked it up because of talking too long and so i went to the dancefloor. later she follows me a few times through the club....but i totally ignore her thinking i messed it up anyway. than she and her girlfriends are about to go, a friend of mine says bye to them, me of course just keeps on walking, so she followed me and tapped me on the shoulder, i still kept on walking, so she hit me against my neck, and me just kept on walking because MOVE ON+JUST WALK AWAY! later on that night i told one friend to write her girlfriend a text message.......and as i read this msg at the following day(i was so drunken i couldnt remember what i said he should write) in his mobile phone cache.....it goes "i dont wanna just be friends with you. if you prefer yourself be fvcked by your skinny friends than great! but i wish you go to hell!greetz double"
OMG imagine how this girl felt because of me being sosuave
Hmm but that still wasnt enough for me to realize that i'm not a androgenous looser anymore and that i dont need that sh1t.......i blew it up again this time with some chick i really liked in the end, but i also overdid the challenge(like not texting her back..) and taking no sh1t(with sh1t i mean that she said i should call her, but i dont take any orders!!!!!!!) and again my DJ ego took totally over me, because a ~30year old doctor wanted her bad(this guy was pretty good looking!), but she did only use him to try to impress me, laughin about how he calls everyday and things.........so guess how felt like Mr. Big D1ck - till the day she had enough of my silly gamez. i felt like "the player" being played......again.
than i had enough of girls -and thought about what's wrong with me. i realized that i felt like having to use techniques to get woman because me myself is not worthy to get them - but than i realized that they must have decided that i'm worthy - till i fvcked it up with strange behaviour.
i swear that i will never again use heavy challenge or other unnatural stuff and never again take it so serious that i think everything is a disrespect - the only things i need to succeed in life and with woman is healthy self-respect, confidence and self-control.
i dont need sh1tty challenge because now, i'm a challenge naturally. instead of that i want to learn now, how to give little well thought compliments and stuff instead of just being supermegacool.
About me should never come to this site again, your spot on, i was thinking about the same in the last days. But there is also good stuff here i'm looking forward to, like your journal, pook's last posts, jvesti's "T"theory part2 or disciple's becomming the king part3.
Also as you know - i have not established a DJ environment in my life yet - so i really appreciate people around with a similar attitude!
On the other side i have many things to do, man i have some ambitions going! I'm still not satisfied with myself but i know if i work hard now i will be where i want to be - in the next months.
But what about your leaving ambitions?would miss ya lil'swedish mofo
Player_Supreme
Banned
1. I'm not a little guy but I do have a big ego.
2. You raised a lot of valid points in your comments.
3. I believe the purpose of the bible is to teach you the basics so that you can use what god gave you and figgure **** out on your own...which is the best way to learn to begin with.
A real man doesn't need the opinions of others and is well equipped to solve his own problems cause he has his eyes open. A real man can "peep" see situations for what they are and figure out alternatives.
I realize some people thrive on the advice of others but that is a crutch and if you look at some of the wacked posts these kids are posting it's like a posting free-fore-all.
4. In conjunction with the bible laying the foundation for higher thought...this site also has the boot camp to allow you time to practice what you've learned.
I think what the new heads are not being taught is how to think for themselves.
Maybe us older heads might be a little Socratic in our ways but that is what Socrates taught...was thinking for yourself!
2. You raised a lot of valid points in your comments.
3. I believe the purpose of the bible is to teach you the basics so that you can use what god gave you and figgure **** out on your own...which is the best way to learn to begin with.
A real man doesn't need the opinions of others and is well equipped to solve his own problems cause he has his eyes open. A real man can "peep" see situations for what they are and figure out alternatives.
I realize some people thrive on the advice of others but that is a crutch and if you look at some of the wacked posts these kids are posting it's like a posting free-fore-all.
4. In conjunction with the bible laying the foundation for higher thought...this site also has the boot camp to allow you time to practice what you've learned.
I think what the new heads are not being taught is how to think for themselves.
Maybe us older heads might be a little Socratic in our ways but that is what Socrates taught...was thinking for yourself!
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First of you (lifeforce) agree that its good to meet new people, but then you take away the bridge that helps ppl meet ppl. ( damn... I could become a monk.) Let me explain myself. k... First off ppl come to this website because they are not as adept in meeting women as the like. They have cultivated a certain kind of introverted behaviour, which has become a habit. They can't approach, converse, dine etc women, and as a result become LJBF, i.e. if they are lucky. If they don't know how to treat women, how are they goin to meet these women in the laid back manner you expose. For most ppl their bad habits need to broken. Can they do this by not approaching as many women as possible, at least more than one a year ? Maybe, but it'll take them forever to learn to treat women the right way (note the right way is different for different women. You learn this through field practice.) Thats why u should approach approach approach, if you are a beginner. Maybe not a 100, but at least more than 3 a month.
Compare field practice with martial arts, all the knowledge in the world won't teach you how to block a weird punch if you don't TEACH your body to react in a certain way. How do you teach your body? Ardous practice day in and day out, repeating the same move a lot of times. After that your body will not only learn that move, but it will learn the essense of the move, which is the most important.
Anyways, before i bore you guys to death with my MA analogy I'll end here... Question everything you do, but don't look down on practice (if you r naturally good) because others need it.
good thread tho man, makes man think
damn... I could become a monk.) Let me explain myself. k... First off ppl come to this website because they are not as adept in meeting women as the like. They have cultivated a certain kind of introverted behaviour, which has become a habit. They can't approach, converse, dine etc women, and as a result become LJBF, i.e. if they are lucky. If they don't know how to treat women, how are they goin to meet these women in the laid back manner you expose. For most ppl their bad habits need to broken. Can they do this by not approaching as many women as possible, at least more than one a year ? Maybe, but it'll take them forever to learn to treat women the right way (note the right way is different for different women. You learn this through field practice.) Thats why u should approach approach approach, if you are a beginner. Maybe not a 100, but at least more than 3 a month. Compare field practice with martial arts, all the knowledge in the world won't teach you how to block a weird punch if you don't TEACH your body to react in a certain way. How do you teach your body? Ardous practice day in and day out, repeating the same move a lot of times. After that your body will not only learn that move, but it will learn the essense of the move, which is the most important.
Anyways, before i bore you guys to death with my MA analogy I'll end here... Question everything you do, but don't look down on practice (if you r naturally good) because others need it.
good thread tho man, makes man think
Anaxibios
Don Juan
I really like this thread. Lots of good ideas are coming up.
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Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
This is interesting. I have learned and thought a great deal from what I have read on this site.
To me the core of this site is self-improvement. You have to feel good about yourself for others to feel the same.
That being said I have learned many things from this board:
1) I started dating a new girl a month or so before I started reading this board back in 2001. I went into full AFC mode with her and damn near ruined the relationship in just 2 months, but I recovered and started to play the game a little better. We just broke up 2 months ago after almost 3 years together. Was SOSUAVE what turned it around? PARTIALLY. I CAN SAY WITH CERTAINTY THAT IT HELPED TO EXPLAIN CERTIAN BEHAVIORS AND RESPONSES OF WOMEN TO ME. It changed my mindset a bit.
2) To me I think it is critical to counter anti-seductive tendencies, in fact that reminds me that I want to make a tip about it. It's not always so much what you do in seducing, but what you do that is counterseductive.
Am I the only one that cringes when they hear of a guy over-supplicating on a first date? I mean I like to take a girl out to a nice place and have a great time, but alot of that is because I like to go to nice places, not that I like to supplicate. But I don't come with a bouquet of roses and candy on the first date. That will surely only scare a girl off.
So in closing, I think this site is very important for learning a bit more about how women think. Certainly the thousands of scenarios and responses from people help tremendously.
I tell people having this site is like having 10,000 big brothers all of who give advice. Not a bad thing to have.
BTW I like Don Juannabees and A-Units responses.
To me the core of this site is self-improvement. You have to feel good about yourself for others to feel the same.
That being said I have learned many things from this board:
1) I started dating a new girl a month or so before I started reading this board back in 2001. I went into full AFC mode with her and damn near ruined the relationship in just 2 months, but I recovered and started to play the game a little better. We just broke up 2 months ago after almost 3 years together. Was SOSUAVE what turned it around? PARTIALLY. I CAN SAY WITH CERTAINTY THAT IT HELPED TO EXPLAIN CERTIAN BEHAVIORS AND RESPONSES OF WOMEN TO ME. It changed my mindset a bit.
2) To me I think it is critical to counter anti-seductive tendencies, in fact that reminds me that I want to make a tip about it. It's not always so much what you do in seducing, but what you do that is counterseductive.
Am I the only one that cringes when they hear of a guy over-supplicating on a first date? I mean I like to take a girl out to a nice place and have a great time, but alot of that is because I like to go to nice places, not that I like to supplicate. But I don't come with a bouquet of roses and candy on the first date. That will surely only scare a girl off.
So in closing, I think this site is very important for learning a bit more about how women think. Certainly the thousands of scenarios and responses from people help tremendously.
I tell people having this site is like having 10,000 big brothers all of who give advice. Not a bad thing to have.
BTW I like Don Juannabees and A-Units responses.
johnny_chase
Don Juan
I agree. When i first came across this site i met a girl that on the train that i take every morning. I was still hardcore afc, shy, didnt know what to do at all, girls were a mystery to me.
Then she moved downtown, didnt see her for six months, and ran into her at the mall. This was six months later, after letting some of the stuff on this site sink in, and after having practiced on waitresses and random girls; just the smallest amount (smiling more, conversation more, more eye contact, lots of kino, reading interest signals).
Two minutes into our conversation, she said the greatest thing ever: i dont remember you ever being this attractive. you've changed. Now we're dating, and i dont have to do a thing, she sets it all up, she wants to spend time with me! it's great!
That was it, thank you SS, and especially the bible. I look at this site as more of a personal improvement site than a site with all the answers. I dont carry around a little notebook that i read lines out of, or try to remembber to do things, nor did i change my character. All i did was discovered qualities that women find attractive, and made them part of my character.
anyways, that's my 2 cents
Awesome replies.
Productive exchange. Wonderful, guys.
It has been advocated that one must be formless, like water. Once you understand, you break it down into your own form, and maintain now predictability, because life affords you no predictability.
What works on one girl, won't work on another. And what works on this girl, won't work on that. Just as certain things are appealing to us men, certain things are not.
I have friends who are very into skinny, skinny girls, like B cups or less, with near 0 waists. Whereas, I'm more into the hourglass, nice azz, hips, combo.
Some of the most random stuff works, for the most UNKNOWN reasons. And what always got me was...THIS IS LIFE.
LIFE has no grandplan except that of enjoyment, so why should you have such a grand scheme over women? Your goal is to meet girl for whatever your needs are, either long or short-term. Well, if you're going long-term, don't you want her to be cool, fun, worth your time, cute, tolerable, playful, open-minded? If she were so rigid to expect specific behaviors, would you desire to be with her?
This isn't a play where its scripted. One can't be working and trying to concoct the next move with a girl. Guys who have it natural let it flow from within. They give into life, they don't fight the feelings.
And I read a great quote about "jerks" (though I dislike the title), it went something like:
Jerks get so many women because they enjoy their lives. Why would a girl who is so desired by so many men settle for anything less? That, and if she dates someone somewhat wild, her own wildness is hidden by his. No matter, she will always know he's wild, and therefore she will remain morally higher than him without any fear of guilt or derision by friends.
That should be a big awakening for people, and a great logical/emotional basis for WHY you're here and WHY sterile guys who loathe their lives don't succeed.
Would anyone who doesn't appreciate the life they've been given find happiness anywhere else?
I have friends who are so self-consumed by their own misery, their parents, the job they currently have, the girls they've lost, that they're stuck in the past and can't value what friendships they DO have, what talents they DO have, what opportunities are there if they TAKE them, and it becomes a perpetual downward cycle.
THE MINUTE YOU FEEL DOWN, you MUST GET UP AND DO SOMETHING TO MOVE YOUR SELF FORWARD OR MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Absolutely. If a girl irks you, and they will, go lift, go take a ride, surf the net, anything to create a positive feeling.
Why?
Because life will throw MILLIONS of set backs at you, and if you stay down everytime something occurs, then you won't get ahead like you want to.
The realness people are exhibiting here would do them well in the real world, with women and friends, and careers. Yet, only now do they drop their idealism and perceptions for a more open-minded approach.
A-Unit
Productive exchange. Wonderful, guys.
It has been advocated that one must be formless, like water. Once you understand, you break it down into your own form, and maintain now predictability, because life affords you no predictability.
What works on one girl, won't work on another. And what works on this girl, won't work on that. Just as certain things are appealing to us men, certain things are not.
I have friends who are very into skinny, skinny girls, like B cups or less, with near 0 waists. Whereas, I'm more into the hourglass, nice azz, hips, combo.
Some of the most random stuff works, for the most UNKNOWN reasons. And what always got me was...THIS IS LIFE.
LIFE has no grandplan except that of enjoyment, so why should you have such a grand scheme over women? Your goal is to meet girl for whatever your needs are, either long or short-term. Well, if you're going long-term, don't you want her to be cool, fun, worth your time, cute, tolerable, playful, open-minded? If she were so rigid to expect specific behaviors, would you desire to be with her?
This isn't a play where its scripted. One can't be working and trying to concoct the next move with a girl. Guys who have it natural let it flow from within. They give into life, they don't fight the feelings.
And I read a great quote about "jerks" (though I dislike the title), it went something like:
Jerks get so many women because they enjoy their lives. Why would a girl who is so desired by so many men settle for anything less? That, and if she dates someone somewhat wild, her own wildness is hidden by his. No matter, she will always know he's wild, and therefore she will remain morally higher than him without any fear of guilt or derision by friends.
That should be a big awakening for people, and a great logical/emotional basis for WHY you're here and WHY sterile guys who loathe their lives don't succeed.
Would anyone who doesn't appreciate the life they've been given find happiness anywhere else?
I have friends who are so self-consumed by their own misery, their parents, the job they currently have, the girls they've lost, that they're stuck in the past and can't value what friendships they DO have, what talents they DO have, what opportunities are there if they TAKE them, and it becomes a perpetual downward cycle.
THE MINUTE YOU FEEL DOWN, you MUST GET UP AND DO SOMETHING TO MOVE YOUR SELF FORWARD OR MAKE YOU HAPPY.
Absolutely. If a girl irks you, and they will, go lift, go take a ride, surf the net, anything to create a positive feeling.
Why?
Because life will throw MILLIONS of set backs at you, and if you stay down everytime something occurs, then you won't get ahead like you want to.
The realness people are exhibiting here would do them well in the real world, with women and friends, and careers. Yet, only now do they drop their idealism and perceptions for a more open-minded approach.
A-Unit
Player_Supreme
Banned
controversial is the correct spelling which is my only complaint. I don't care that you took out that section Vincent. It did make sosuave look bad which I think was the purpose of this whole thread.
To of been called a bunch of racial names for 3 days straight does shed a bad light on the whole joint but it's a new day. And that idiot joey the phoney baloney was banned for it so it's all good.
I just keep it on file to use at other sites when I talk about sosymp here....uhh sorry I mean sosuave....hehehe
But thank god it is getting better over here. It seems like all of the antagonist have either shut up or left like this one did.
lol glad to see you're concerned with my spelling.
People are here to question themselves and find answers within themselves. So when they question the site it helps them find more answers.
I frankly could care less about what people think of this site. The materials provided helped me, and they've helped countless others. To each his own.
