I cant seem to get any dates guys! numbers but no dates.

[wise_mage]

this is bullsh!t. it seems impossible to get an actual date with a girl. like I almost have no problem whatsoever in getting a number from a chick but when it comes to calling and making the date it turns out they never can, they are always busy or some stupid sh!t I call every chick an average of three times total throughout perhaps a month`s time and everysingle time they are unavailable. Im dead serious.

no, I dont call right away. I wait a few days after getting a number, from 5 days up to two weeks depending on how busy I am.
no, I dont keep the conversation long, 10 minutes at the most and its almost never that long anyway. more like 5. I make some polite chit chat and then get to the point.
no, when I get to the point I do not behave like an afc but rather tell her that Im going to do a certain thing and ask her if she wants to come along for the ride. pretty cool way huh?
no, I dont tell them to meet me someplace isolated where they feel unprotected. Its downtown, easy access, full of other people and with lots of fun stuff to do (its a colonial artistic downtown).

so what the f*ck is the problem I ask? does anybody know?
I havent been on a date in a long time, not because I havent been trying (of course I could always approach more girls) but because these women always tell me they are busy. so recently I started to apply this technique: everytime they tell me they were busy, I tell them "so suggest another date then" and get this... so far all the answers I have recieved have been "well, we`ll see, ok." yeah... bullsh!t woman. if u wanted to see me and u just happened to actually have something more important to do than passing time with me then u would suggest another date.
so then I just stop calling them, but keep the number anyway fo future reference perhaps. and then I try to get some new numbers, which is not that hard at all if u use the way i use, but I dont get that many sionce its still hard for me to approach girls on the street out of the blue. and when they do agree for the date they never show up. they stand me up all the time.

so anybody has an idea of what Im doing wrong here? I dont think I am doing anything wrong at all, but who knows , I might be missing something. I am very confused and tired of this .

any ideas?

 

[Unbridled_1]

You haven't created enough interest for one reason or another. Have you built enough repoire before getting the number? Do they appear physically attracted to you? Are you appearing needy/desperate/overly serious?

There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with your approach to calling and asking for the date. Perhaps, unconsciously , you are coming off as needy or insecure, especially as you get increasingly frustrated.

 

[crotchrocket]

WOMEN ! illogical, flaky... all wrapped up in such a nice little package we just have to keep coming back for more sh!t and abuse.
Sounds to me you're doing all right.
Maybe they're sensing the frustration,
coming off as needy.
I swear women can sense crap like they're all clarevoyant or something.

 

[Bonhomme]

Call sooner.

Out of sight, out of mind. This waiting crap is just a rule to rid one of the appearance of neediness.

4 days is the most I've ever waited and actually got a date. Usually 2 or 3 is best. Sometimes they call me within a couple days.

 

[Nannu]

yeah I got the same problem. I get some numbers but then, after that, always some "I'm really busy" line or something.
Regardless, I've actually given up on this whole girl thing. I have decided that they don't like me, despite the fact that I am nice looking and confident. I'm calling and quits and pursuing monkdom. Seriously. Anyone else out there who has failed as much as me and just doesn't like to be insulted anymore?

 

[BruticusMaximus]

Yeah Nannu, I go through phases like that every 6 months or so, but I haven't yet been able to settle down into my hermit-osity. You can't be happy going out trying to get dates and you can't be happy sat at home surrounded by pizza boxes. There's no easy answer.

I want shock therapy. Somebody fry my brain. That'll change my ways!!!

 

[Brodie]

Try the # exchange earlier in the night.

 

[FlyGuy]

Call sooner. Chances are after 5 days (or 2 weeks!?) she barely remembers you let alone what you look like or what you said. Try calling her within 2-3 days and see if that changes things a bit. Experiment man, and review the phone conversation guidelines in the DJ Bible.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

chk out http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_60/89b_dating_girl.html

 

[sustainable007]

Remember that women are occupied too

I think it could just be that in today's society allot of women are ocuppied with so many other things...that its hard to coordinate with them...It makes me wonder why women even give their cell phone number out even though they know they hardly ever answer it...its phucked up...

 

[BGMan]

Hmm... this is an interesting problem.

I have called nine girls in the last year and get dates about half the time. I don't know what you're doing different from me, but I often will wait much longer than 3-5 days. If people here say they get good results from calling after two days, I guess it means that as long as you don't call within 48 hours you'll be fine.

So perhaps it's your talking too long on the phone with them. You said you spend 5 mins chatting, sometimes as long as 10. Don't do that. You call her up, and when she asks what's up, you propose the date right then and there. If you spend too much time chatting, you start to reveal too much about yourself and they get bored with you.

In fact, that's why I think that this past year, while I got five first dates, I haven't gotten any second dates, even though I do everything else right.

Remember: Make sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear. Mouth control is essential in dating!

BGMan

 

[matius]

Bonhomme- That Location bit is too damn funny...Detroit does kind of look like the forgotten city.

 

[matius]

About the other posters > You are looking for the quick fix- that's sad. It's like anything in life people! Do you become rich over the course of a night? Do you become successful in a week? Do you gain the knowledge to work there within 2 weeks of your life, no.

Looking at it like that. You actually getting a hottie in the sac would be parallel with winning the lottery. For real, it's going to take a little bit of time (not all that much) to be successful with women...and with other people...and life. I'm trying to practice what I preach nowadays. It ain't easy I know. But what I'm saying is you have to understand YOUR basic fabric and realize that you will get what you want and you have to work for it.

If you don't, you'll be like the majority who settles and never found their groove or what they're looking for. I refuse to let this happen to me. But you're gonna have to trust yourself and tighten your boot straps because with those attitudes you're headed for the shlt house.

 

[Ronin I]

I was having the same problem a couple of months ago.

I would change it up a bit. Try calling sooner.

Like somebody already suggested - you need to spend a little bit more time building rapport. You want to make her FEEL like she knows you.

You need to spend time creating VALUE in her eyes.

A sales analgy may be helpful in this case -

people buy for two main reasons -

Trust and Value.

The need to trust the salesperson and they need to value the product in some way (and at believe that they're getting their money's worth).

Remember this the next time you're sarging a girl. Before you get the number and move on your way ask yourself if you've built up TRUST and created enough VALUE.

 

[matius]

people buy for two main reasons -

Trust and Value.

The need to trust the salesperson and they need to value the product in some way (and at believe that they're getting their money's worth).

Remember this the next time you're sarging a girl. Before you get the number and move on your way ask yourself if you've built up TRUST and created enough VALUE.

You know what. This is such an epiphany for me. Really. I just never thought about it like this. Not only for a girl that you just got her number- but even for one you have been out with...I've had (what might have been) a few great girls slip by because of my > cancelling a date for no reason > not calling on time > waiting long periods of time to call for no reason or other unpredictable absurdities for the mere sake of looking even busier than I already am. Madness.

That showed no value, and even less trust. I think with each new girl I'll stand up, live my life and try to be right on time. Trials and mistakes we must learn from, but I can figure.

 

[Ofus]

Originally posted by wise_mage
this is bullsh!t.

Agreed!

get this... so far all the answers I have recieved have been "well, we`ll see, ok." yeah... bullsh!t woman.

Are you using any ****y+funny before asking them out?

Have you tried following up with
"Actually, if you want to go with me I need to know right now, because if you're not going I've got someone else who wants to go."? This is basically going to lay it on the line, and let her know that you're not a chump, you've got more numbers to call (you're in demand), and you've got the balls to lay it all on the line.

I've got to say, I've been in a similar situation as you lately so I'm looking for an answer also. Although, I don't give them nearly as many chances as you - you say you call 3 times, I only give them 1 or 2 chances at most before nexting.

Good luck, let us know how your next call(s) go!

 

[Kwah]

Or you could always pull the reliable:

Would you come out with me on tuesday night please? Its the only night my mom will let me ahve the car, can we make out?


That of course is for the one where you just dont care and want a good laugh over a speaker phone or something.