I can't get over her...

[sam21]

Hi, I'm in love with this girl... she rejected me, and I have some wavs of her playing silly on my winamp list... and every once in a while when they sound I just die...

What can I do to get over her... take that wavs out?, I mean... that's obvius...

ok, I don't know very well what to say...

Just give me advices to help me to get over the girl I'm really in love with...

[btw, I have no chance to get her... but that's another history, just the get over thing is what I want to know]

ciao

 

[sam21]

the thing is... now I go on with my life playing it as I'm over her...

but oh! now I'm listening to her voice playing silly and I become a piece of butter, and I remember all the feelings I won't satisfy...

I really like listening to her voice playing silly... and when I thought I had chances with her... it was perfect to listen to her wav... just perfect

why it can't be that way? it just so unfair... stupid logic... stupid women...

animal kingdom SUCKS

whatever =)

 

[Iamnotacrook]

Get it out of your head that you don't have a chance with her... you always have a chance... now, in her case, she might just be an immature, superficial drama queen, in which case you shouldn't have any problem forgetting about her...

 

[nishbuk]

For the fifth time today, I point you, and myself towards this:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

Read all of it.

 

[Rage19]

same here man, i keep watchin this video of my girl ..... *Sighs*

i cant help it

 

[Iamnotacrook]

Stop sulking... punks... I got oneitis for this girl I'll never see again unless I go out of my way to contact her, and I love it. If she doesn't want to get with me, that's okay. She has sex with another dude? I don't care, that's what you've got wrong... having oneitis doesn't mean you have to care what happens between you and the object of your desires... I think you're just too dependent on others... and you're horny as hell too, you need to watch that...

my point is... ENJOY the feeling... you might feel like you're not doing enough, but the feeling is enough. Ever notice how oneitis is a cure for masturbation? who cares if you never hold her? enjoy the feeling of WANTING to hold her... but whatever, if you wanna pout, that's cool too... feel sorry for yourself... and watch how it does you absolutely no good at all...

 

[Alphathree]

I used to be like that. I had to drag my ass out of bed every morning and go through a mechanical routine just to 'barely' get through the day.

The only cure I found was time, despite desparately looking for something faster.

Based on the emotional state that I sense right now, you're in for a long ride. Nothing that we can say in this thread is going to cure you overnight.

Start a diary and write out all that sh*t you're feeling. Get it all out. I don't care if you have to go SUPER AFC for a few days or even a week. Do whatever the hell it takes. You're a human being.

You'll start to feel better after a while. Then make every effort (without actually looking like you're trying, of course =) to find new hobbies and friends and places to meet people.

You'll get more women in your life. Use them to try the strategies you learn on the 'net at websites like this one. I recommend David DeAngelo's advanced series. It covers a good range of inner and outer game topics, and it's quite profound.

 

[Rage19]

i admit i got oneitis but i do care if she fuks another dude id get so damn fuked off ARG...... thinking about it makes me sick, im new here ive only just started reading that 8 week thing

writing down ****? whats that goin to help me with other then building up my wrist for masterbation? lol cause thats all ill get till i find something better

 

[Iamnotacrook]

I might be abstinent, so that's not a problem for me. I take alot of courting, she'd have to be pretty convincing!

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Rage19
i admit i got oneitis but i do care if she fuks another dude id get so damn fuked off ARG...... thinking about it makes me sick, im new here ive only just started reading that 8 week thing

writing down ****? whats that goin to help me with other then building up my wrist for masterbation? lol cause thats all ill get till i find something better

You're immature and that's okay... you can't help it.

You're really beyond my ability to help you right now, I'm sorry. Maybe just talking in this thread will help you even if it is defensive on your part.

Write down your feelings. Go girly man on me. Don't write them here, you'll make us sick. Write them in a journal. This isn't to help you pick up chicks, this is to help you get through what you're experiencing right now. There's no need to masterbate to your journal, heh.

See, if you just try to jump into the game and find a new girl in the state you're in right now, you're going to insta-creep them out. You're needy and emotional.

That's fine. So you need to work through those emotions. Writing helps. Maybe that's not your thing. Could make an audio recording of your thoughts, or just talk to yourself. I don't really care.

 

[Iamnotacrook]

The oneitis is your friend. Confident Persistance.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Come on man, delete those wavs. Next step, be a man and stop thinking and caring about her. She doesn't care about you. Geez, I thought I used to be kinda hung up on one girl, but never close to how messed up you are. Don't even bother to write anything down, you need to forget about her completely. Time will hopefully do that for you, but if you want to speed the process, get yourself together and find other women. Here is the mentality a successful man needs: she is one girl, of MANY; she is not worthy of you; you are, in fact, better of without her. Your physical attraction for her is all you have. You got rejected by this stupid girl, so it is all in your mind. Make it a goal to date other women and think of how lucky THEY will be and how much that one girl will kick herself. Don't even allow yourself the thought that you could have had her, and think of how it COULD have been, that will drive a man insane quick. Well, good luck.

 

[legolas]

yeah man just delete it and empty the trash bin too Then, you go on with your life. Time usually heals.

 

[gonzo]

I had oneitis. It was easier for me in that the object of my desire really ****ed me over. So much so that I now hate her. But it has still left me with a somewhat empty, unfulfilled feeling.

Do you feel empty? Do you feel nothing for other women? Do you feel women are worthless *****s? That's all good. In fact, it helps you with women. It will give you more confidence because you don't give a **** whether they reject you or not. After all, these other women are not the perfection that is your oneitis. Think of it like a vaccine. You've just been largely shielded from this kind of pain in the future.

How to get over the oneitis? Well, time is a great healer. But I suggest taking these three steps.

1. When you are out next for the day, count the number of women who are more attractive (be honest!) than your oneitis. See that she was special but not that special. There are others out there; some of them are hotter than your oneitis.

2. Write down everything that made her special to you. Her personality, all that ****. Try and articulate it on paper as if you were trying to persuade a stranger that your oneitis is worth moping over for the rest of your life. I bet she won't come out as all that special. I bet you will think that you are quite silly putting her up on a pedestal.

3. Think how silly it is to want someone who doesn't want you. It's a waste of time and it won't achieve anything. You need to get out into the dating field as soon as possible. What do you have to lose? You've been rejected by the only person that counts to you. So what if others reject you? They mean nothing to you. Sooner or later, you will find someone who has that special something you will be attracted to. Even if you don't, have some fun. Learn from your mistakes and build upon it.

Later, you will see this as an opportunity. Trust me.

 

[Rage19]

Originally posted by gonzo
I had oneitis. It was easier for me in that the object of my desire really ****ed me over. So much so that I now hate her. But it has still left me with a somewhat empty, unfulfilled feeling.

Do you feel empty? Do you feel nothing for other women? Do you feel women are worthless *****s? That's all good. In fact, it helps you with women. It will give you more confidence because you don't give a **** whether they reject you or not. After all, these other women are not the perfection that is your oneitis. Think of it like a vaccine. You've just been largely shielded from this kind of pain in the future.

How to get over the oneitis? Well, time is a great healer. But I suggest taking these three steps.

1. When you are out next for the day, count the number of women who are more attractive (be honest!) than your oneitis. See that she was special but not that special. There are others out there; some of them are hotter than your oneitis.

2. Write down everything that made her special to you. Her personality, all that ****. Try and articulate it on paper as if you were trying to persuade a stranger that your oneitis is worth moping over for the rest of your life. I bet she won't come out as all that special. I bet you will think that you are quite silly putting her up on a pedestal.

3. Think how silly it is to want someone who doesn't want you. It's a waste of time and it won't achieve anything. You need to get out into the dating field as soon as possible. What do you have to lose? You've been rejected by the only person that counts to you. So what if others reject you? They mean nothing to you. Sooner or later, you will find someone who has that special something you will be attracted to. Even if you don't, have some fun. Learn from your mistakes and build upon it.

Later, you will see this as an opportunity. Trust me.

if you saw this girl u'd realise why >.> i was ****in lucky to have her but ill do as you suggest and see if it helps... yea she was so hot even after 2 years i wack off over her. THATS A DAMN PROBLEM! but NEVERMIND ill get over it TIME HOPEFULLY WILL HEAL and yes its made me change its helping me talk to girls better cause i dont give 2 ****s about them i kinda hate them

THANKS GUYS!

 

[manuva]

The best way to get over someone is get under someone else.

 

[penkitten]

change your sounds so you dont hear that stuff anymore

 

[muttley]

hey there,
I had oneitis for 2-3 yrs with a girl ( thats a long time ) during which i felt misrable all the time. Those yrs of pain have made me the man i am now, STRONGER than superman on steriods. I swear the day that my oneitis shook off i FELT AWESOME, i just had to tell everybody that IM OVER HER!!, it will never happen again i assure you...

you should check out my post, its comming from someone who has had more than his fair share of oneitis and one who truly speaks from experience and the heartache that comes with it... Its helped a few guys, and its sure helped me , i recovered from oneitis and im getting back to myself.

here you go:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?threadid=80553

 

[JH6]

god some of these posts in this thread make me sick.

Get over it, there are a billion girls out there, get one.

 

[Juan_Man]

Originally posted by manuva
The best way to get over someone is get under someone else.

Bad advice, my friend. At this point, the guy probably has little to no charm left to get any mileage with any other female. I know what it's like to approach a girl without confidence, only desperation. It NEVER works out. You only look pathetic to the girl's eyes and anyone who may be watching. What this guy needs to do first is to get his self-esteem and confidence up to where it was when he first started talking to the girl he liked before. This can be done in three ways.

1. Time - Wait the whole thing out until you finally get over her. This is usually a long process that usually comes with intense bitterness, so I would suggest two other methods to expedite the process.

2. Relation - Find someone who is in your similar predicament and observe how they are overcoming their situation. Usually, this is hard because a lot of guys try to front as if everything is going so well for them. Bullsh!t. So if you can't find someone to relate to, watch a movie (or a couple) with a plot similar to your problem. The best movie for this is probably Swingers. Just make sure it's not a typical Hollywood crap where the dork miraculously gets the hot girl without any skills in the end. The movie has to have some type of realism to it. There nothing better than finding someone who is in the exact situation as you are in. It shows that you are not alone.

3. Focus on your strengths - Whenever a girl rejects us or if we are disrespected by someone, sometimes we began to re-evaluate ourselves and what makes us unappealing to people. Sometimes we get to thinking long and hard about our weaknesses and our past mistakes and failures, leaving a poor self-image of ourselves in our minds. We get more depressed and believe we aren't suitable for anyone of the opposite sex. What we should be doing is focusing on the good things about ourselves and what makes us attractive to the opposite sex. Remember the stuff you are good at and the times you succeeded at something. Sometimes we forget this stuff or we overshadow these positive thoughts with negative ones. That's why it's better to take action and do something that allows us to showcase our strengths and remember why we are great people. This past year, I took a teaching job that allowed me to showcase my strong speaking ability, my ability to listen, and my ability to problem solve. I felt good doing these things that I got over the negative thoughts that had made me depressed before. When you feel good about yourself, you will be able to attract others, and you will truly believe that your past oneitis missed out. It's all about confidence.

I know I sounded like Dr. Phil just now, but this is crucial advice for anyone who wants to get back into the game.