i can't get my girl to orgasm... help

[Jay-X]

i've been having sex with my girlfriend for the last year and she told me that she managed to orgasm just twice... she says that it's not a problem to her, since she loves when we do it, but i think it's just girly bullsh1t.

i've done everything... i thought it was my fault, then a week ago something occurred:

i had been eating her out for 20 minutes, we also had lots of foreplay and we were having a 69 by then. i inserted 3 fingers into her and moved them upwards. suddenly she moaned and she got up all sweaty. i asked her 'what's up?!' and she said 'i couldn't take it anymore'. i usually manage to stick 4 fingers inside her without hurting her, so i asked 'was i hurting you?' and she answered 'no, i was about to get off'

i was pretty surprised, so we had a discussion about this later and she made me understand that she's not comfortable with orgasming and she feels awkward about it.


should i stop having sex with her? i mean, what's the point of fùcking a girl if she doesn't want to orgasm?! my right hand could do the job 10x faster

 

[Dr Box]

It is her problem not yours, I mean that in the sense that she is not comfortable have an orgasm so she is mentally stopping her self from having one (if a girl is not comfortable it is very hard for them to let go and have an orgasm).....the way to help her get over that is try and figure out why she isnt comfortable and see if you can change that. tell her it is ok for her to let her self go (tell her you dont mind changing the sheets) and it would make you happy to give her that pleasure.
Good Luck

 

[lordson]

my girl told me that girls dont need to orgasm to enjoy sex, its still good without it sometimes

they arn't like us guys

thats the short version, sure others know what im talking about

 

[Jay-X]

i don't know what the cause may be... she's not even comfortable with talking about sex... she loves having sex, but she can't get off or talk about it...
i have to fight to make her say what she likes and what not...

she also admits masturbating, but she never does it when i'm with her... i told her it would be really exciting for me to see her touching herself, but she limits to her nipples at the most...
she also says that never orgasmed through masturbation... wtf?!

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by Jay-X

i was pretty surprised, so we had a discussion about this later and she made me understand that she's not comfortable with orgasming and she feels awkward about it.

I had a girlfriend with this same issue. It's very strange for a guy to hear (almost like waking up one day and realizing that 2 + 2 = 5). It bothered me, because I wanted her to get off as much as me, and I wanted to *know* I could get her off.

My advice would be to stop putting so much pressure on her to have an orgasm. Try foreplay, and ask her what she wants to do to feel satisfied. of course, you can still have intercourse for yourself, but don't go down on her just to force her to have an orgasm.

If there's one thing I've discovered about women, it's that they have baggage and issues you can't even *imagine*. Shame about eating, drinking, sex....you name it.

 

[MindOverMatter]

she's not comfortable with orgasming because you're pressuring her. you feel uncomfortable during sex because she's not being able to get her off and maybe this is what's ruining the experiance for her.

also, good sex is not just about pleasing the girl, it's also about making the girl feel like she has pleased you. if you want to give her good sex, you can't have one without the other. the problem with 90% of guys is that they use their mind too much during sex instead of arousing her mind. they focus too much on techniques. while you are thinking about whether 4 fingers will get her off as opposed to 3, she's thinking "why is he so quiet, maybe i'm not pleasing him".

think about it this way. Say you have 2 girls. Amy and Anna.

When Amy rides you, she tries all these different angles and stays quiet the whole time.

Anna on the other hand just randomly jumps up and down on your d!ck without any method to it, is moaning like crazy, is waking up the neighbours, and when she is close to getting off, she's bending over and moaning into your neck.

Which one of these two girls will get you off faster?

It's the same for girls. If she's with a guy who's just putting his d!ck in and out, and is counting in his head how many shallow/deep thrusts he's doing and being quiet like mime, then no, she wont enjoy herself. A girl's #1 sexual zone is not her genitals, it's her mind. If you arouse her mind, the body will follow. So next time start out slow and steady, then start enjoying yourself, and make some noise. Let her know you're enjoying yourself. Moan, pant, breathe/gasp rapidly into her neck, close your eyes and smile inbetween thrusts and make her feel like you're losing yourself in her. Once you arouse her mind like this, the body will follow.

p.s. just don't overdo it to the point where you're obviously faking it, or to the point where you sound like a tired 40 year old pornstar.

 

[superchristx]

sdf

I agree w/ doc box, in that the issue is on her end and not yours. Some girls just have a tough time reaching orgasm, and if you constantly ask her "did you come yet, did you come yet?" you will suck all the fun out of it.

An old girlfriend couldn't have an orgasm with me, but she could do it if she masturbated for a good long time. That was the only thing that would get her off, was rubbing her cl!t for like 40 minutes. One day her room mate was out of town, and I tell her to start to jill off, when she gets close she says "put it in" and she had an orgasm that way. It was kinda wierd and clinical. But the point is, SHE didn't have a problem with sex, so I didn't make it my problem. Your girl might never have an orgasm, just accept it.

 

[penkitten]

some girls dont have the big o for years after they start having sex, even when the sex is good because they dont feel comfortable enough.

it probally has nothing to do with you.

 

[Badmannaz]

:crackup:

 

[DonJuanMonk]

A Real Man is not concerned with a woman's orgasm or a woman's sex. A Real Man does not put his needs behind her needs. If she wishes to have an orgasm with you, she will let you know.

 

[DJ_in_making]

Originally posted by Jay-X

should i stop having sex with her? i mean, what's the point of fùcking a girl if she doesn't want to orgasm?! my right hand could do the job 10x faster

I thought you were having sex w/ her b/c YOU wanted to orgasm....right?

 

[diablo]

AE...

 

[Taoist]

All chicks are different, but I have found out, at least with the chicks I've been with, that direct stimulation of their ****oris will make them *** like a porn star.

Crush corn.

That's right, crush corn.

When you have sex, why limit yourself to one position or one method? Try as many different positions and techniques as possible. Not only should you thrust, but grind as well. While you're deep inside of her, slowly grind the base of your penis around and around her, and try to concentrate on the ****oris or upper portion of her pvssy. It works, it just takes time, but I swear, I have never had a problem making a woman come this way.

Just make small circles, big cirlces, alternate. Trust me, if she is relaxed, she will buck like a bronco.

In the past, I'd thrust and thrust until I'd have to slow down or blow my load, but this not only keeps you firm, it helps prevent premature ejaculation.

Think about it. When a woman is riding you, what is she doing? The same exact thing!!!

You also have to relax. You are making it far too big a deal, that she climax. You should also get her to relax and let her know that not only is it not a big deal for you or your ego, just that you want to satisfy her as much as possible.

Make she you use her own fluids when you go down on her as well, or finger her. If she is dry, it will only irritate her.

Good luck and be patient.

 

[Jay-X]

guess what, yesterday she came and she actually cùmmed on my hands... i felt like she sprayed some vaginal fluid from inside her... well, sosuave brings luck

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by Jay-X
guess what, yesterday she came and she actually cùmmed on my hands... i felt like she sprayed some vaginal fluid from inside her... well, sosuave brings luck

HAHAHA! Looks like you got a squirter, buddy! No wonder it was so difficult. Orgasms for squirters are much more emotionally charged and intense than regular female orgasms.

Oh, and the reason she got all hot and bothered when you moved your fingers up is because you hit her G-spot, which is a patch of flesh on the ceiling of the vagina. Play with that spot when you finger her. Stick two fingers in and hook them up in a "come-hither" position, then stroke that spot. You should feel her swell.

Anyway, she was probably just reserved and uncomfortable about sex in general. The best thing you can do is reassure her and let her know that it's okay for her to enjoy sex and to orgasm.

Anyway, good job on getting her to squirt for you! Sounds you me like you probably have a good one!

~Vibe~

 

[undesputable]

haha yea she didnt want to get off cause she was embarrased about cumming. tell her to not worry about i think that **** is hot....it can get messy tho

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter

dude, awesome post...best sex tip I could have read.

 

[legolas]

And dude don't forget to compliment her after sex in some unique way like "Wow you look so sexy when you c*m it alsmot makes me do you all night" or something like that. That should make her more comfortable c*mming

 

[likon]

Originally posted by Jay-X
i've been having sex with my girlfriend for the last year and she told me that she managed to orgasm just twice... she says that it's not a problem to her, since she loves when we do it, but i think it's just girly bullsh1t.

i've done everything... i thought it was my fault, then a week ago something occurred:

i had been eating her out for 20 minutes, we also had lots of foreplay and we were having a 69 by then. i inserted 3 fingers into her and moved them upwards. suddenly she moaned and she got up all sweaty. i asked her 'what's up?!' and she said 'i couldn't take it anymore'. i usually manage to stick 4 fingers inside her without hurting her, so i asked 'was i hurting you?' and she answered 'no, i was about to get off'

i was pretty surprised, so we had a discussion about this later and she made me understand that she's not comfortable with orgasming and she feels awkward about it.


should i stop having sex with her? i mean, what's the point of fùcking a girl if she doesn't want to orgasm?! my right hand could do the job 10x faster

The problem you speak about is a lack of sexual desire. She can increase it with special supplements (I have used Sentia, it's OK). I don't want to push any product I only want to say that a lot of people try to find the solution of this problem but they are way off the beam sometimes.