So, I'm 24 and she's 25 and I know I'm going to get a lot of flack and automatic "dude, what are you waiting for" comments with the age difference but I'm hoping some people can look past that. So right out of the gate you already know that the guys on this site are going to tell you to run for your life.
Basically, I was apartment hunting for a while because I was sure my girlfriend wanted me out, and I found something and applied. We had a fight the other day about some butter and she yelled at me and told me she wanted me out and to find a place and that her mind wouldn't change. That's when you start packing your sh*t As it always does, her mind did change and she was like "I thought we would make it longer, I do love you". butter? okay...
When I ask her if she wants me to stay she says that she can't emotionally manipulate me into making a choice that wouldn't be right for me. I don't know how to make this choice. She already told you she wants you to move out.I mean I do love her but there have been things about the relationship that have sucked. I haven't really had my own room at the house for like over a year and we don't have sex that often because she's more mature and it just isn't in her modus operandi as it once was when she was younger. That part right there just sucks but I'm experiencing cognitive dissonance; if I tell her I'm leaving because I need more sex she would call me shallow and a part of me can't help but agree with that sentiment, however, at the same time, I see it as me just being human. Don't need to tell her anything. The sex has dried up...why stay?She makes up for the lack of physical intimacy with financial tokens and other random gifts, and other nice things, but god I still have urges and I don't like resorting to porn when I have options available(even if they're not literally available). Mistake. P0rn is an illusion that will drain you of your manhood. Quit that sh*t.
I don't have my own room because we prepped my old room, another room, and the hallway for hardwood flooring but she underestimated the scale of the project and so it hasn't gotten done and she refuses to hire a contractor. This has led to me setting up "base" in the living room in which I don't really have any way to express my...interior designer passions, like setting up my gaming "battlestation" in the way I want and having my rack mount server and router and networking equipment all in one centralized location. You've got no room for your own sh*t. No place to escape to your hobbies.The entire house is honestly just a mess.
And then there's other things. Like the biggest thing that kind of irks me about if I should stay or go is the whole "I love you and want you to stay" sentiment she has but the way she treats me about other stuff. Like yard work, the sides of the house are littered with weeds and she says that she has to treat me like a mom to get me to take initiative to go out and pull them all up. And then she says that I've been mowing the lawn but "didn't notice that a patch of lawn was dying" and then puts all the blame on stuff like this for me. Everything is your fault. Seeing a pattern here?I mean honestly, I didn't notice, and I'm not a fan of yard work. And then she makes comments about how she can't get me invested into the house because I don't have a sense of ownership. For example, she has 9 cats stop right there...9 fvcking cats? crazy cat lady status. I should stop reading now. But I will continue. and if one of them pukes or has nasty diarrhea in the litter box, I never clean that crap up, they're not my cats, they're hers, and I don't even like cats, in my opinion they're filthy creatures. but she loves them. and they are here to stay, get used to it buddyBut for that she calls me heartless and says I don't care about anything but myself. Generally she just blames me for not having any sense of responsibility for things other than which are mine.blame transfer at its finest
But okay, she just goes right back to saying "I do love you, I don't want you to leave". Not true. She told you she wants you out. Which is it? Can this psycho make up her mind? I know that there are ways in which me moving out would be good for me but there are some things I don't want to leave behind. Abandoning this nightmare would do you a lot of goodI mean I do love her and she has introduced me to a lot of good European culture and stuff like that through shows and movies and has treated me to a lot of awesome foods that I never otherwise think I would have tried or experienced. You can do that on your own without being treated like a redheaded stepchildAnd I would also miss her randomly buying me things. Ugh. First world problems I guess...
