I can, but don't. Should I want to b@ng lots of girls?

[larochelle]

For those in a rush or who are less literacy minded, at the bottom there are cliff notes. For everyone else this is my scenario.

Through my extensive reading of the name brands in the manosphere- dalrock, rollo and more, I have seen many examples of blue pill males and red pill males. We are all of us individuals, but many of the reports and complaints fall into a few categories.

blue pill - typically beta male, getting taken for a ride and either on the way to getting tree branched or writing in and complaining online because he has just been tree branched

red pill- typically an alpha, natural or ex-beta that made the changes he had to, in order to be a boss with women in his life and is swearing or has sworn an oath of allegiance to never marrying/settling down/having a serious relationship with a woman.

red pill convert- a man usually holding on to the blue pill by his finger tips, or who has ingested the red recently. He has a huge journey ahead of him, but just wanted to write in to express gratitude that he wasn't a basket case, and that there is a remedy after all for the strange affliction that has plagued him but that nobody he loved could help him with.

As I said, we are all of us individual and precious. These are the three main categories of men who seem to be promoted on the more established blogs, or that I have seen make their voices heard on the wider manosphere.

My case is a little different though, I am a mix of all three of these

(Disclaimer- I am not a novice: please don't tell me about the differences between push and pull, or how disinterest is important in stoking a womans interest. I have been gaming for around 4 years, with multiple breaks due to having girlfriends or a lull in my interest.)

So I am in the 10%. There are many who would kill for the same stats. 6'3, white British male, 230lbs athletic bodybuilder physique, good looking but not excellent facial aesthetics. Certainly able to physically elicit stares and eye phucking from the majority of women I meet on a day to day basis. This is not a brag...just a fact. I am very lucky to have these physical attributes and I know it. A lot of men come to the manosphere after finding that they can't play ball with the other boys since they themselves are only 5'5 and 120 lbs soaking wet. It really shouldn't matter, but unfortunately it does. With the addition of a personality grizzled from years of cold approach and game fundamentals I need not go without, if I don't want to. And speaking of not wanting to, I haven't had sex for over 2 months now. And when I did have that small amount of anemic thrusting with a random girl I gamed from the street before those two months, I binned her due to her generally not meeting my standards. Excluding her, it has been about another 2 months again.


So what's the issue? I got into this whole secret society because I had broken up with my girlfriend and wanted to find another one. I was an unattractive man. I was training a little, didn't have any concept of game or the true nature of women, was brainwashed- and was generally a true blue. After leaving her I versed myself, more accurately immersed myself, in game. It was a strange and painful, rewarding and ultimately very, very important 4 years. I laughed I cried. I now sit here with fairly well stocked tool box however, and I can use those tools to operate and bring success in most scenarios I could find myself needing them.

But there is a problem here. I'm told repeatedly by the mainstream media to release the hounds- to lay waste to as many women as possible. I'm told by pretty much everyone of my wingmen the same thing. Close friends and younger family tell me exactly the same thing- smash. Not only that, but I feel guilty that there are so many people out there who seem to want to do exactly this, they want lots and lots of sex but they don't have the physicality to execute it with the same ease that I can. Excellent game will move mountains (few reach this level). Excellent looks will help you a lot. Good looks and good game is a potent combination.

So that brings me to the here and now. I still game every so often just to stay sharp, but I either don't save the numbers or just never contact the girls. I haven't had sex in a fair while and I don't plan on having it either. Why?? I have a strange dream that will probably just mean me getting laughed at, but I am chasing something more than just sex. I want to find a girl that was raised just like I was- loving parents and are still together to this day, a girl who respects her family and wants to build her own. One who is willing to make sacrifices for the good of us instead of "me". A female who will not stray unless there is some serious, serious trouble. A good woman.

I've seen countless videos and writing on the idealised fantasies of perfect virgin hb10s that will be super fun and a complete ***** (but only for you). I understand that this is a fantasy- maybe a handful of women exist like this in the world but even if one was found- it is the insecure and inexperienced ones that cheat the most readily. But I also know that the binary examples of all women being terrible and UN-marriageable are false too.

CLIFFS:
- I am experienced at game and not a novice (4 years game experience and have spent several hundred hours reading on the subject)

- I am in the 10% (6'3 Caucasian, bodybuilder physique, good looking)

- I have had success in the past in terms of women, but for some reason (being somewhat intelligent? religious traditional upbringing? Bad experiences in early dating?) I am not interested in having sex with or dating multiple women, or even any women until I find one that has similar values to me and wants to build a strong relationship and family together

- Am I "wrong" in not wanting to sleep with lots and lots of women, or at least am I making a mistake by not making the most of the opportunity that has been given to me before I settle

- I'm looking for a good woman (not the beta idealism of virgin who is a ***** but only for me, but a girl who has had some action but is essentially a good person, not a brainwashed selfish club slut like 90+% of the population appears to be)

MY QUESTION is twofold;

Should I be on a search and destroy mission, or is it normal that I don't want to have sex with lots of women. I want to wait for a girl that is worthy of my affections, and want sex with her to actually be a big deal (not just the rubbing of genitals together to pass the time)

and the other question is, is anyone else in this kind of position? It seems like I have never really come across another example of this, but then maybe it just wasn't promoted as it isn't a common theme.

I feel better for having written all this, but still very strange in general. I spent so much time and effort learning these skills and improving myself, only to become nauseated by casual hooking up. I want to find love and god, in a godless and loveless society.

 

[No.Danny]

I think you're gay

 

[Tomo]

I've found this to be the trend among some of the more experienced of DJ's I've read upon this site. After they have pertained to the level that allows them to pull woman easily, it brings about a different viewpoint. Much like what is preached here we strive to reach that state where we are in abundance of woman but then that abundance is a double edged sword that then asks yourself the question, what now? I have all these woman wanting my attention, I've slept with those that I choose, I've gotten myself to the point I strived to achieve when I was an AFC, what now?

I'd like to commend you on having striving for something else. It is much like a goal like anything else in life. Too many on this site are of the category looking for the next lay and nothing else. To be a DJ also means to follow through with your own beliefs and to be comfortable in yourself. In this case, you are after something different; what many search for but most likely will never find. Keep at it and you may be the lucky few. But when you do, remember all these skills and experiences you have attained. Because it does not take much to lose what one builds in a lifetime.

 

[Imdonswanson]

Truthfully, I think at a certain age you just knock that sh1t off. Don't get me wrong but I'm always going to love pu$$y it's the greatest thing. But do I sleep around? No. From my point of view, there are so many stds being transmitted that I rather not, or at least first find out by testing. I've also been rejected by girls that I actually wanted to be with because they knew I've been with several women and they found that repellent.

Enjoy a good woman, be with her do whatever, but there's no reason/law/unwritten rule to think a man should have multiple women at once. Just my 2¢

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

There is always at least just ONE out there bro......

I would not consider myself a DJ (not yet anyway ) but I am trying to be, as is everyone else. But I still think like you though, that despite there being a small minority of women out there who are virgins (that is because of a reason e.g. they aren't pretty or they are way too religious etc.), there still are nice women out there who do want to settle down. Will they abuse you given the chance? Yes. But then again, who wouldn't? And if you remember Pook, he said to be a Man. Meaning you do what you want and only bring along those who will come with. You don't force anyone to do anything, because they will come to you because of your ambitions, as they will see you becoming successful very soon. In other words, it is up to you. Having others decide for you is a beta mentality after all, is it not?

The thing is, if you sleep around like it's a game of jacks to see how many you can catch then you will repulse the other chicks who are serious like donswanson said. Keep gaming girls all the time though. You want your abilities to be at max potential for the girl you do see :woo: . And when you get these chicks all flustered up and you don't get with them, they will talk about you dude. And when the idea of you can get any girl but chose not to will creep into the girls' minds. So they might be looking to settle down too and just maybe will start looking for you too. :rock:

 

[larochelle]

I think you're gay

I've been told that more times than I can count haha.

Thanks for the positivity guise, I was expecting to be getting shouted down or told to lay a gang of girls get over oneitis or something. It is frustrating, I want to phuck too nomsayin, but I just attach too too much emotion to sex and want the next time to be maybe with the girl I stay with for the duration. I'm still going to spend as much time as I can spare reading the manosphere and gaming to stay sharp, just for different reasons.

With all of this there is a quote that I heard a while back that really stuck with me.
"be the change you want to see"

I know there are plenty of girls out there slooting it up because they got convinced that guys only want sex and they may aswell just be the same way

 

[Peacebewithyou]

OP, you ever heard of the myer briggs test? If not, check it out. You definitely sound like an NF male.

 

[larochelle]

OP, you ever heard of the myer briggs test? If not, check it out. You definitely sound like an NF male.

Jesus that's a mighty read, I've bookmarked that to finish later.

I identify with a lot of that- more with the dating side of it than anything less so with the personality in general. I'm an idealist but don't have a feminine way of thinking, that is to say "I feel that this is true....therefore it is". In the same way I won't see life as it should be or how I want it to be, but how it really, really is. I consider this one of my strongest points, but in other ways I certainly identify with "nf male" personality. Very interesting the points about an nf male preferring conversation and not wanting to be in shallow social events with dates, I often leave certain events early and prefer to connect through sex and conversation.

I broke up with my last serious girlfriend a year ago now, but still stay in touch. Weirdly, through all the game that I've done and the countless hundreds of sets, she is what I would call the "highest quality" woman I've possibly ever met (excluding my dear mother of course). By highest quality that is to mean; family minded, respects her parents, educated, has a good sense of forward planning and not living for the moment. She is the only girl certainly that when I wasn't around her I would almost never worry about where she was or if she was being faithful etc.
Anyway, we were forced to break up on account of her visa running out (she is russian) and her having to leave for canada- if I could move there I probably would but the immigration laws there are stiff. We talked on skype about this and that and eventually got onto this subject about finding a good woman and what she looks for in a man etc. It's interesting to see how our views were so similar and how she is quite unapologetic for saying what she is after (man with decent wage/job who works hard and gives her attention etc). More interesting though is how she mentions her future children, her future house, her future plans etc. I can honestly say that I don't remember any woman I've talked to in for as long as I can remember mention anything about her children or certainly how her actions might affect them. It must have happened at some point, but I don't remember it. I think this is certainly something to look out for- a woman who has foresight is going to be in the criteria of what I look for

 

[Mike32ct]

You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do.

If a relationship with the RIGHT female will make you happier than bhanging randoms, then focus on what you want. It's perfectly ok.

If you still want to flirt (and AW) a bit to keep you game sharp, but not actually pull the broads, that's fine too.

 

[Dreesy]

Being a DJ is more about taking control of your own life, if anything. You don't have to become a man slut or feel like you need to measure up to some bar.

I find the people that toot their own horn about how many women they've slept with usually don't have much else to say. It's one thing if you ask, it's another if they just bring it up randomly.

 

[playa99]

This post is gold!

Further to what Tomo said.. once you have reached a goal of attracting a lot of women, and you know you can choose who you want to.. you can be picky and pick the best of the lot!

I've never been one for ONS or FWB, its just not me and I sit uncomfortable with it. I'd much rather be in a relationship which is going somewhere.

Don't get me wrong, I had a hell of a lot of fun between 16-20 and fooled around with a lot of girls.

OP, to me, nothings wrong with that, you've hit a point where you know your goals, know your skills and your looking for just that, I'm at the same place and it's great!