I can be funny, sometimes charming, but sealing the deal is my downfall

[dtrg]

I can be smart and funny to a girl and i can be real personable and outgoing with witty things to say and i can help the group have a good time. Sometimes i can be charming but heres where my wall is: i dont know the right balance of intimate conversation and kino. that is, i can be a 'cool guy' but i cant seem to find myself as the sexy man who always says the right thing to a woman. I can be abrasive on a one on one level with a girl, sometimes i tease a little too much because i dont know when to say romantic things and when to bust on her a little bit.

i stop short of hanging out with a girl one on one. when i am with a girl, i usualy just make her laugh a lot but getting past that into something more intimate is where i get hung up. this has gotten me put into the friend category so much throughout my life. how do i attain a better mix of funny laid back guy with romantic james bond-like attitude?

 

[dtrg]

You don't have to say anything romantic in the beginning. What will really keep the conversation flowing is some stories. They can be canned or they can be something that actually happened. Try and make them funny. This is part of the Mystery Method. I would throw in some teasing but you don't have to do it all the time, do it sometimes but when your first meeting her and want to keep the conversation flowing, use stories. If you want to give her a compliment, then do it, but don't just give her a compliment. You should and try and use a follow up to that compliment. Example: Your are a beautiful girl, but...(and then think of a follow up). try it.

how bout the times after the first time meeting her. like say youre hanging out with a girl after seeing her in a group a few times, its that isolation stage that has me in knots.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

how bout the times after the first time meeting her. like say youre hanging out with a girl after seeing her in a group a few times, its that isolation stage that has me in knots.

Why not walk through a senario so we can better understand what's going on.

 

[dtrg]

Why not walk through a senario so we can better understand what's going on.

honestly, going in for the kiss is my biggest 'fear'. even when i know this girl is diggin me i cant bring myself to set myself up for success. for example, i know this one girl is digging me on some level, except we used to be friends in high school. my next move ought to be to hang out with her one on one but ive been putting it off. im having trouble thinking of something to do with her and how things would go. i guess its just a matter of doing it buy im just unsure of my ability to seal the deal with a kiss. ive only ever had 2 gfs; throughout most of my life i was a fat kid but now that im a lot more fit, girls are digging me a lot more and i just dont know how to handle it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

honestly, going in for the kiss is my biggest 'fear'. even when i know this girl is diggin me i cant bring myself to set myself up for success. for example, i know this one girl is digging me on some level, except we used to be friends in high school. my next move ought to be to hang out with her one on one but ive been putting it off. im having trouble thinking of something to do with her and how things would go. i guess its just a matter of doing it buy im just unsure of my ability to seal the deal with a kiss. ive only ever had 2 gfs; throughout most of my life i was a fat kid but now that im a lot more fit, girls are digging me a lot more and i just dont know how to handle it.

By "digging you" do you mean that she likes you enough to hang around you or does being around you gets her into a "sexual state?" It's easy as hell if it's the latter.

If she is physically interested in you (which is the key), creating a sexual state can be as easy and sharing physical space (no, not that close... yet). You could be in a coffee house sitting at a table across from one another. If you are having a good conversation, you can simply lower the volume of your voice when you want to tell her something that's important to you. She'll want to hear and will come around and sit closer to you in order to hear what you've got to say. This can also be an indicator of her interest level.

Once she's close you can begin noticing her facial features. Hell, have her catch you gazing into her eyes then her lips and then back to her eyes with a little (almost hidden) smile. If she starts blushing, you know that you're on the right track. Eventually you can move in closer (share space) and if she's very interested she will either allow you or will move in closer to you still (another definite interest level indicator).

I'm a tease, so I can sit next to a woman in a public place almost nose to nose and staring at one another for an extended period of time without kissing her. This typically gets them hot and bothered, especially if you just smile and pull away without kissing her. She could be very confused if you don't just go directly in for the kiss like most guys would do (some would call this being a challenge). There's been times that I've pulled away whispering "not yet" just to show her who's in control.

Either way, whether you choose to kiss close her quickly or stretch it out, the key is to get her into the right state of mind and then controlling the situation by sharing space. It makes things easier since once the two of you are that close there's not much else that you can do (at least while dressed).

 

[saber]

I think swingcat posted a good article in the DJ BIBLE but I can't find it.

If you are paying close attention to her and getting kino especially constant contact over 5 seconds then go for it. She won't be suprised and will thank you for it.

Basically it says that you yourself need to visualize what is going to happen and get all hot n' bothered. She will follow suite and your perverted thoughts should give you that extra kick in the pants to take that leap.