I broke with my gf

Galvan

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I messed up, got too close to her, got nervous, and now she doesn't even want to talk to me.

I cried a lot and felt terrible. Now I feel a little better and thought "I'll share this on the forums, maybe they will cheer me up".

Thanks in advance in case you do. :p
 

Blistex

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Breakups happen all the time. Since I'm assuming you didn't want this breakup, the key is to analyze what went wrong and learn from your mistakes.

If you're still interested in this woman, which seems to be what I gather from your post, stick to No Contact for the time being. Since you're now a single man, you should go out and spin plates. If she does contact you within a couple of days, it will be up for you to decide whether you want to pick up the relationship from where it left off.
 

LearningSlowly

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It's important to understand that everything ends. It's a happy truth of reality. Everything follows this rule and it can add depth and peace to your life.

Enjoy relationships when they are at their peak, enjoy single life when the relationship is over. Neither is better than the other. Be happy in either time.
 

Galvan

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Blistex said:
Breakups happen all the time. Since I'm assuming you didn't want this breakup, the key is to analyze what went wrong and learn from your mistakes.
I got horribly nervous and spammed her with messages.
At a certain time I stopped, analyzed, came to a conclusion and went back happy to her, hoping that our relationship was still alive and kicking.
But based on her answer it was too late. Now our relationship is lost.

I miss her affection, man. She's beautiful, smart, strong enough to say things directly. I like to talk with her and learn things about life.
That's something very valuable to me. That kind of women are special.

Seriously, does anyone really want the stereotype of girl who represses everything and talks indirectly and cryptic? And even further, who tries to control you with fake cries and plastic suffering? That sucks, dude. Maybe there are men who think this is normal and even like it as it makes feel them more alpha or something. But that's not me. I can't accept that kind of things.

I realized something: I have the constant urge of having the kindness of a girl on me. Maybe not her, but I need to find that girl like something special.
And now I feel empty.
 

NobodyCares1

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Galvan said:
I realized something: I have the constant urge of having the kindness of a girl on me. Maybe not her, but I need to find that girl like something special.
And now I feel empty.
You shouldn't feel empty, it's the women who have a hole that needs filling :D

But now seriously, I know how you feel, having a girl showing affection towards you is a great thing. I felt the same couple of months ago when a girl left me and for the first time after a year I had no close relationship with any girl. But after a while I've found another one. So don't worry it's just a matter of time untill you find another one. Untill then enjoy your life, go out and meet people because that's the only way to move on and actually find someone else.
 

Freddy.k

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Galvan said:
I miss her affection, man. She's beautiful, smart, strong enough to say things directly. I like to talk with her and learn things about life.
That's something very valuable to me. That kind of women are special.
I understand completely what you are saying man.
It is really hard and painful to break up with a girl that you honestly love, especially if she is special.

When you break up with your girlfriend don't think negatively, such as you are not going to find a girl like her or any of these AFCish thoughts because these are soul destroying thoughts that will literally lead you to suicide... and in which I mean the death of your dreams, passion, time, ambition, and thus, life.

You have to realise that time is really important in a inside and outside a relationship :
when broke up with your with your girlfriend, instead of crying and letting the pain of not being with hurt you, you should work on yourself.

Start by discovering what went wrong, and correct it. Take some time alone and think about things wisely, but don't take too much time or else it will be late.
After that, if you still want her back try fixing thing and going back to her.

But don't let her get all the power over you, because if you do that she will dump you with even thinking about the nice time you had both together.

Try only once, if she says no then it is merely impossible ( been there!!).
Don't bend and tell her how you love her and how much she means to you, because even if she seemed to be touched, it won't mean sh!t to her.

If you can get to her, then great. If not, forget her ( it is less painful to forget her than to be wanting her and she not wanting you back).

If it doesn't work between you two,learn form your past mistakes and don't be desperate ; go talk to other chicks and always have a positive attitude that you are gonna win in whatever you are gonna do.

And whatever you do, don't stop the course of your live for that one girl.
 

LearningSlowly

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Galvan said:
I realized something: I have the constant urge of having the kindness of a girl on me. Maybe not her, but I need to find that girl like something special.
And now I feel empty.
That emptiness you feel is what drove her away. You can never have a happy relationship so long as you feel empty.

Let that sink in.


Now go out into the world and try to be happy. True inner peace comes from the teachings of the Buddha, which have been spread and restated for hundreds of years, and there are now millions of wise teachers.

http://zenhabits.net/the-mindfulness-guide-for-the-super-busy-how-to-live-life-to-the-fullest/

There is a first step. It is not the only one, nor is it the best one, but it will take you in the right direction. If you take only that first step, and never take a second step, you will not be very far from where you began. If you keep focus and peace in your life, and don't forget to practice, you will end up in places you would have never believed possible.
 

Galvan

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Thanks man. That's a good one. :)

But I wonder: Is the fact that she never called or texted me on her own initiative something that could made me nervous?
 
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Galvan

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Bump.

I became friend with an ex of her in facebook (just exchanging messages, not appearing as a friend).
He said to me "relax, stop texting her and next week just ask her on a date. I know her, she'll sure forget about all of this".

So I did.
Got no response. The worst part is that I know she did read my message and chose not to answer.

What a nice move what I did huh?
Now I'm being treated like trash.
Great, as is the pain weren't enough already.

That emptiness you feel is what drove her away. You can never have a happy relationship so long as you feel empty.

Let that sink in.
Maybe at this point any hope of even seeing her makes it worse.
 

Blistex

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Galvan said:
He said to me "relax, stop texting her and next week just ask her on a date. I know her, she'll sure forget about all of this".
If I were you, I would have listened to the advice in this thread of going no contact instead of asking her out on a date like her friend suggested. You are digging yourself a deeper hole the more you send her messages because it shows how desperate and clingy you are to her (women hate that!).

You're too emotionally invested in her and now you see the negative effects of that. You're thinking way more about her than she is probably thinking of you. Right now, you've positioned yourself as orbiting around this girl and that probably contributes to your "got too close" statement in your first post of this topic.

The only positive outcome I see in your situation is to go NC and if she initiates contact, you can attempt to rebuild the attraction and go back into a relationship. This is your only oppurtunity to get back with this girl, don't shoot yourself in the foot. ;)
 

Galvan

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Blistex said:
If I were you, I would have listened to the advice in this thread of going no contact instead of asking her out on a date like her friend suggested. You are digging yourself a deeper hole the more you send her messages because it shows how desperate and clingy you are to her (women hate that!).

You're too emotionally invested in her and now you see the negative effects of that. You're thinking way more about her than she is probably thinking of you. Right now, you've positioned yourself as orbiting around this girl and that probably contributes to your "got too close" statement in your first post of this topic.

The only positive outcome I see in your situation is to go NC and if she initiates contact, you can attempt to rebuild the attraction and go back into a relationship. This is your only oppurtunity to get back with this girl, don't shoot yourself in the foot. ;)
Everything's true.
I'll try NC and see chances with other girls. :)
 

apocolipto

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Time to get in the field dude. It's weekend, let's see a field report by the end of the weekend. You'll feel better.
 

SamTheHobit

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I know that feel bro.
Trust me when I say there are better girls out there.
The quickest way to get over a breakup is to find a girl you're more attracted to.
Whatever you do don't try and get back with your ex its a dark road I know this from first hand experience.

Move on bro.
 
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