I broke up with my girl..... and for the life of me I cannot come up with a reason y

[narcissist]

I just broke up with a girl ive been seeing for 2 months for absolutely no reason. And by "no reason" i literally mean i just came to the decision to break up, and there was no justification behind it. I just said "Im going to break up with her" and that was that. It just flowed out of me and before i knew it i broke it off. The weird thing is was indifferent to dating her and if i didnt break up with her i wouldnt have minded. But i did, and i cannot think of why i did it.

The only reason i can come up with is that i broke up with her simply because i wanted to prove to myself that i could get up and leave at any point with no hesitation. But then again, is that a legitimate reason? And this is only the reason i came up with AFTER doing it. I dont remember deliberating over that reason as i did it.

Yes i know that is a completely fvcked up reason to break up with someone. What I did I feel like is on the verge of being psychopathic tendencies, because i feel no remorse, and I did it for the most minute of reasons which are completely self-centred.

I guess what I am asking is, has any of you guys done this ever? and how do I get out of that mindstate of dating a girl, and after a while breaking up with them just to prove to myself that I can walk away when ever I want, under my control?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You probably just felt like breaking up with her. I'd say it's a little bit weird, but hey you wanted to do it and you did it so more power to you then. I mean I tend to do whatever I feel like doing and there isn't much wrong with it (except sometimes people get offended at being so blatantly honest and so blunt about the truth, but hey, that's their problem. Not mine.).

 

[WaRpEd]

Well back in the day I'd make up excuses to break up, but never did it for the heck of it or just to prove I could (at least that's what I told myself)

If you were indifferent to being with her then maybe it was for the best anyways. It could be that it just flowed out of you because of that indifference, sort of like an unconscious action.

I don't know if you've ever done this before, but as to getting out of that mindset of breaking up just to prove you can, you are aware of it now (that is assuming this is the first time) so that should be enough to smack you in the face if your with a good person. Or maybe it's just your brain's way of telling you it's time to move on?

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

It could be that it just flowed out of you because of that indifference, sort of like an unconscious action.

This got me thinking that it was also because you hadn't felt anything special from her or anything, as in, she didn't make your life harder, but she also didn't make it easier either. So there's that to consider as well.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Well, if she was the queen of your life, your 10/10 dream woman, a goddess, you wouldn't have dumped her, would you?

You wouldn't buy a Lamborghini and give it to a stranger the next day for no reason. So, she ain't a Lamborghini in your eyes.

 

[narcissist]

I tend to agree with you guys on this. If I broke up with her and am indifferent to it completely and utterly in my practical reasoning for why i broke up with her, then i was not into her in the first place and therefore it is not a loss for me.

What baffles me is that I can act without practical reasoning. I am usually a very deliberated human being, who takes pride in my ability to have in depth justification for my actions. It just caught me by surprise that I was watching myself do something for which I had absolutely no justification for, and no reason to engage in that action. It was a moment of reflective puzzlement I suppose you could say, using the words of David Velleman.

I guess the reasoning much be couched in the ID of my psyche. It was completely unconscious lack of attraction and I allowed it to guide my action.

I guess im more puzzled about me being able to do something without reason, then what it was i did particularly, without reason.

 

[Billtx49]

It's commonly stated here to listen to your gut. But, if you are not aware of that instinct, suddenly 10 times 10 equals 100, you act and move on.

 

[skinnyguy]

I think you don't want to commit to a woman. Which is fine. But your lifestyle is built around spinning plates. You would have gotten bored of Olivia Wilde at some point.

 

[El Payaso]

You don't need a reason.

 

[Billtx49]

A series of small red flags may not
Be visible now, but you will see them20/20
In the rear view mirror after eomtional detachment occurs. If none appear, then look at yourself.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Does it matter why?

Always follow your gut. Your 22 anyway. Don't be couped up with a chick. Bang as many chicks as you can for now. Enjoy your youth!

 

[Trump]

I guess what I am asking is, has any of you guys done this ever? and how do I get out of that mindstate of dating a girl, and after a while breaking up with them just to prove to myself that I can walk away when ever I want, under my control?

Bro what you said here makes absolutely no sense. You told a girl who was giving you sex and you didn't mind going out with to go to hell because you wanted prove to yourself you could? :woo:

Unless it is for legal reasons, never understand why guys "break up" with girls. You have to be attracting girls ALL THE time. Let her come back to you and say "You are too attractive and irresistible, there are too many girls hitting on you and wanting to have sex with you and unless you put a stop to it and are only with me, we have to break up."

Let HER come to you and decide she can't handle you because you too good and sexy, that is a sign of POWER. But don't be looking for problems when none exist and you want to be "right."

 

[WaRpEd]

I guess im more puzzled about me being able to do something without reason, then what it was i did particularly, without reason.

Ah I see, so it's not even really about the girl. It doesn't matter how much you pride yourself in justifying your actions with other humans, you yourself are still human, your gonna wind up "following your gut" from time to time (not a bad thing I think).

Just have to take it and learn from it like anything else, especially if you don't like it.

 

[JohnChops]

I tend to agree with you guys on this. If I broke up with her and am indifferent to it completely and utterly in my practical reasoning for why i broke up with her, then i was not into her in the first place and therefore it is not a loss for me.

What baffles me is that I can act without practical reasoning. I am usually a very deliberated human being, who takes pride in my ability to have in depth justification for my actions. It just caught me by surprise that I was watching myself do something for which I had absolutely no justification for, and no reason to engage in that action. It was a moment of reflective puzzlement I suppose you could say, using the words of David Velleman.

I guess the reasoning much be couched in the ID of my psyche. It was completely unconscious lack of attraction and I allowed it to guide my action.

I guess im more puzzled about me being able to do something without reason, then what it was i did particularly, without reason.

It wouldn't be in your ID, it would be in your ego if anything. But hey, lets stop talking Freudian psychology. You were most likely bored with her.