I broke up w her and now she’s back

nonchalant

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I was dating this girl for going on a year and a half. We had been fighting a lot and we had been breaking up and getting back together like every month. Mentally it has been exhausting for me, and I just felt like I couldn’t deal w it anymore and felt like it was better to end things. I had been feeling her becoming more and more checked out, and I know that she had been losing attraction to me every time we break up and get back together.

The last weekend was the last straw. We fought and she told me she needed to think if she still wanted to be with me. This type of thing keeps happening lately, but sometimes I break up w her it is just a bad cycle. She didn’t text me until a day later, she texted me hi. I responded hi, but she never responded. The third day I decided to break up w her because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I told her I’m sorry I have to break up with you because the arguing is bad for my mental health. Also because i don’t like how I am being treated in the relationship, and I didn’t see the situation changing.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and you feel like your girl is pulling away and is going to dump you - dump your girlfriend first. If you feel like your girl is not treating you the way that you want to be treated, break up with her. That is the power move that will give you the power back in the relationship. I know this is true because I’ve done it in the past and after I dumped this girl, I know she is missing me and wanting me back because she has been blowing up my phone asking me for another chance.

The reason why she wants me back? I’m questioning if she really wants me back or if I just wounded her pride. You have to understand that this girl is a 9-10 and not used to being dumped. Some girls, especially really hot girls, don’t get dumped very often and it just blows their mind. Dump them if you really want to reclaim the power in a relationship, you need to break up first and make them realize they are dealing with a man who has the confidence to walk away when he is not being treated the way he wants to be treated.

The problem I have now: she keeps sending me texts, asking for another chance when I have already made it clear that I would like to make a final break with her and move on with my life. But it is very difficult for me because I still have strong feelings for her, and she is insanely hot and good in bed so I have a hard time letting that go, but I know walking away is the best thing for me. I have already ended the relationship cleanly and with my pride and dignity intact. In fact, I feel like I can be proud of the way that I handled myself in that relationship. If I break down and take her back, I will just be going back to the same situation where I was unhappy.
 
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DreamAgain

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Good job pulling the plug. You need to go cold turkey though and block her if she will keep trying to reel you back in.

This is purely a power play on her part, I promise you if you give in, you will be making another thread here full of bitterness how you were a fool and she got the last laugh.
 

BaronOfHair

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The problem I have now: she keeps sending me texts, asking for another chance when I have already made it clear that I would like to make a final break with her and move on with my life
That's what the Blocking function on your IPhone or Android exists for, hombre. In the long run, this is a much more cost-effective means of ridding yourself of this broad, tempted as you may currently be to play Claus to her Sunny Von Bulow :eek: o_O
 

nonchalant

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Good job pulling the plug. You need to go cold turkey though and block her if she will keep trying to reel you back in.

This is purely a power play on her part, I promise you if you give in, you will be making another thread here full of bitterness how you were a fool and she got the last laugh.
Thank you you confirmed what I was thinking in my head. That she doesn’t really want me back. She only wants me back because I wounded her pride by breaking up with her.

My question though, is there ever a situation where you would ever get back with somebody like this? We have our differences but I also still care about her a lot and she is a smoke show I hate to lose that
 

nonchalant

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That's what the Blocking function on your IPhone or Android exists for, hombre. In the long run, this is a much more cost-effective means of ridding yourself of this broad, tempted as you may currently be to play Claus to her Sunny Von Bulow :eek: o_O
I really didn’t want to get rid of her but she forced me to break up w the way she was treating me.
 

Dash Riprock

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If you have ever been in a similar situation and you feel like your girl is pulling away and is going to dump you - dump your girlfriend first.
Yes, same thing happened to me a long time ago.

Girl I was dating for about 4 months was getting distant and pulling back. She was also smoking hot, gorgeous, perfect bod. She was also very immature. So I call her one night and tell her this isn't working out anymore and I think we should break up. She hesitantly agreed. We worked out at the same gym so saw each other a couple days later and chatted a bit. She brought up going out to dinner and talking things out. I agreed. We were to meet up at the gym, work out, and go out to eat. I showed up at the gym and immediately knew something was off. She was very deadpan, looking down a lot, kind of sullen. She says let's just go for a walk and talk instead of dinner. During our walk she says she now doesn't want to work things out. I was pretty hurt at first but got over it in a few weeks.

I think it was a the simple fact I agreed to try to work things out that tanked her attraction. Women always want wat they can't have so once I gave her want she wanted, she no longer wanted it. F*cked up, I know. But that's the way most women, especially younger hot ones, are programmed.

Go NC and get on with your life.

Ciao,
~Dash
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I was dating this girl for going on a year and a half. We had been fighting a lot and we had been breaking up and getting back together like every month. Mentally it has been exhausting for me, and I just felt like I couldn’t deal w it anymore and felt like it was better to end things. I had been feeling her becoming more and more checked out, and I know that she had been losing attraction to me every time we break up and get back together.
Sounds like you're both not ready for a longterm relationship, but the onus is on you.
Because of your inconsistency, she keeps testing for congruence but notices that much of your 'masculine frame' was not true masculinity.
If you had laid down your boundaries right from the start, you could've curtailed her drama and pre-emptively stop the quarrelling before she can start it.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Why would you want her back?

Sounds like a very toxic relationship. Hopefully that's not the kind you enjoy.

Personally I'd spend the time working on myself and figuring out why I ended up in that situation to begin with, otherwise you are going to have this playing on repeat your entire life, one relationship after the other.
 
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