I bet you never heard this one before!

[SweetSassyMalasy]

The girl I was seeing for a month asks me to be her boyfriend 4 days ago. I think it over say tell her alright. Three days later she calls me and tells me she doesn't want to be my girlfriend.

She says that she doesn't want to mess things up by rushing into things just because we had sex. I could tell she was sorry for doing that to me, the girl cried over the phone while I was talking to her but why the heck would she do that? And I don't know how to act now. She wants us get to know each other better but its kind of weird for me at the same time. Says she want to be sure that I am the guy she thinks I am. Should I act as if nothing happend? Or should I act differently? I don't know what to do.

 

[Vibe]

Act as if nothing happened. Stay secure and be your (non-AFC) self. She wants to make sure you are the guy she thinks you are. So let her find out.

~Vibe~

 

[KarmaSutra]

Call her out on her BS. Tell her you've already moved on and that you had a great time with her.

 

[&UWlNoMeByThTrlOPusy]

say, 'i was thinking we might have been rushing things too, so everythings cool.'

she mite be unsure, or she mite be playin ya. either way you get back some power by negatin her rejection with yours. then keep on as if everythings perfect, if she asks you to be her bf again then take your sweet time to say 'ok... but if you flake again PAPA SPANK.'

 

[Sapiens]

I agree with Vibe, act as if it was no big deal. Don't act clingy or you will blow it. Make it seem like you appreciate the sex but that is nothing new to you.

Remember she needs for you to be confident, she is projecting insecurity to you. Therefore you must act with confidence. And use protection for crying out loud! I know, I don’t know if you did but I just like to throw that in there!

-Sapiens

 

[frivolousz21]

you need to move on.

unless u plan on using her for sex

 

[dirtyvibe]

Vibe. You live in the same place as me. Get the #$@$ off my name!

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by dirtyvibe
Vibe. You live in the same place as me. Get the #$@$ off my name!

Hah. How does it make you feel to be number two?

It's alright. You're still number one in my book. Now come sarging.

College Park needs us.

~Vibe~

 

[sikpupy]

College park, ehy? Your almost not too far from Fairfax to think about sarging along, lol.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by SweetSassyMalasy
The girl I was seeing for a month asks me to be her boyfriend 4 days ago. I think it over say tell her alright. Three days later she calls me and tells me she doesn't want to be my girlfriend.

She says that she doesn't want to mess things up by rushing into things just because we had sex. I could tell she was sorry for doing that to me, the girl cried over the phone while I was talking to her but why the heck would she do that? And I don't know how to act now. She wants us get to know each other better but its kind of weird for me at the same time. Says she want to be sure that I am the guy she thinks I am. Should I act as if nothing happend? Or should I act differently? I don't know what to do.

Freeze.

This is a test. If you do nothing or melt all over her now then your sending a message that this pullaway behavior is acceptable. You are rewarding it. This is how you get the dog to piss on your rug every morning: Reward her when she pisses on your rug every morning.

<stewartsmalie>You are a young, interesting person with a dynamic and exciting social life.</stewartsmalie>

Don't talk to her for awhile. Go do your own thing. Seriously. You are going to be tempted to cave. You're tempted to do it right now, while you are reading this.

Don't.

Go on for a bit, see if she comes after you. If so then explain:

"Look. I am not pleased with the way you handled that. Not at all. Life is too short for those kinds of games. I don't have the time to spend with people who aren't actually into me, and I have other things to do. I'm going to (the cherry pie eating contest/the little league afterparty: DJ Tiesto is playing there and I hear they have a keg/the old folks home bingo night: $2 vodka-ensure shots!) on Thursday. If you want to spend time with me that's fine, but I have other interests and I'm really not up for a gamey 'friendship,' so let's both be adults and not waste each other's time if that's what you are looking for."

Door's open. She either walks in on your terms or...

NEXT.

Doesn't SOUND to me like you have the stones to pull this off, but I've been surprised before.

 

[Vibe]

Originally posted by sikpupy
College park, ehy? Your almost not too far from Fairfax to think about sarging along, lol.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think that sentence made any sense.

Yeah, Fairfax is kind of a hike. Besides, there are so many HBs right here, it hurts my brain to think about it.

In conclusion

Fairfax, eh? You're almost not too far from College Park to think about sarging along, lol.

~Vibe~

 

[Danny001]

In my opinion, this girl dosen't know what the hell she wants. If you really like girl, then Equity's answer makes more sense. If she's just a passing interest, then play along as necessary. Be careful though, this girl sounds way too emotional. She could also be damaged goods or is at risk to become one. Women say they want a man who knows what he wants. Ok, so let us expect the same from them.

 

[white cloud 8]

*This is sort of a venting post*

I'm just a little boggled as to why I see some guys with girlfriends (who are not at all good looking, the complete opposite) and they have a girlfriend. I see this around *ALOT* but, then I think to myself what don't I have that those guys have? I look at myself and yes I am attractive, fit, athletic so why hasn't the opportunity for a girlfriend reared its head into my life? (maybe the time hasn't come) I don't know, I guess I'm just a little frustrated with this but, I don't let it get to me, it's just one of those things that just boggle my mind.

 

[SweetSassyMalasy]

ok here is an update. She called me again the next day asked if I was mad at her for what she did. I said no, i was just dissapointed at how she acted. I think she does like me, because she was crying over the phone because she was afraid i would leave her because of this. So my guess is I just need to wait, and pretend everything is cool. But I made it clear that if she dissapoints me again i will move on.

 

[EquityPrivate]

Originally posted by SweetSassyMalasy
ok here is an update. She called me again the next day asked if I was mad at her for what she did. I said no, i was just dissapointed at how she acted. I think she does like me, because she was crying over the phone because she was afraid i would leave her because of this. So my guess is I just need to wait, and pretend everything is cool. But I made it clear that if she dissapoints me again i will move on.

You fell for the tears.

That was a mistake. Now you've taught her that she can do whatever she wants as long as she puts on the waterworks afterwards.

Is that the lesson you wanted to teach her?

The biggest mistake that can be made in the "bad behavior by HB" situation is to cave in.

Do not take her $hit like that or she will get used to it.