I assure you my family is more screwed up than yours

taiyuu_otoko

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backbreaker said:
not talking to your mother becuase she won't talk to you unless you accept god is not a grudge.

even though she did what she did when i was younger i don't have a gruge about it.. but it's no different than dating, you date someone that ****s you over, if i decide i don't want anything to do with this low character person anymore that's not a grudge, that's moving on with life.

Not saying you're holding a grudge, just saying be careful.

Your language indicates that you haven't completely "let it go," so to speak:

"low character person,"
"*** you over"
"religious nut"

These don't seem to be completely neutral labels, but over the internet, it's impossible how to read how your really feel.

If, when you say, "religeous nut," you feel the same way about the guy standing on the corner holding the sign "The end is near," that's one thing.

But if you think about your mom and start to seethe with anger, then that's not doing you any good.

find a way to let it go. Easy to say, harder than fukk to do, I know.

Give this a try, if you're so inclined. I've found it to be helpful.
 

backbreaker

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no.. see i've been that route.
the most popular page in the AA book at least where i'm from is page 417.. acceptance is the key to all my problems.

It's my belief that people repressing their feelings and not getign thigns off their chest is what really causes problems.

You are damn right i'm pissed. that's fvcked up what she did. but being pissed and thinking something is screwed up is a very normal reaction to your mother telling you to not come home until you love god. that's what i have learned at my ripe young age of 26 and why I no longer attend AA. I was a bigger nutcase when i left AA then when I went in ("with drug problems) becuase of all the feeling stuffing and acceptance that I did. Me telling myself everything is happening "the exact way god wants it to happen and if i am mad I am questioning gods will" does not leave me being any less angry.

I've come to learn that it's perfectly normal to not be peachy and honky dorey all the times. I'v had a pretty good day today actaully, but my mother has told me, on multiple times, that she wants nothing to do with me, and I'm "move on".. i'd venture to say anyone that could take that from their on mother and not go through their own process is the ones that are really screwed up. it's my damn mom.

You are right i am angry, very, it's my mother. but you know what, there is nothing wrong with anger. she has made her decision, i have no choice but to respect it. i'll move on.

anger itself is not a probelm. it's my grieving process. in due time I get pissy and something will happen, which is why i just cut her off completely i'll move on with my life, but every-time she comes around it steers up and , just like an EX who just keeps calling.


But you specifically stated, hold a grudge. that I don't. Me holding a grudge would indicate that I secretly want to try to get back at her for what she did. That I don't want. I just want her to go her way and I will go mine and for her never to contact me again.

I don't "hold a grudge" against a girl that cheated on mne if I tell her never to call me again. I just don't want her to never call me again so I can move on with my life.

I've acknowledged I need to see a professional, i know this, but I see nothing wrong wtih being angry after my mother has disowned me over a book. anyone that can just pick up and move on from that i would get tested right then and there for something
 

Amazing

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Your parents messed up and messed you up. People must have a license to have kids imo. I wish it wasn't the case for you, but it was what it was, and you came through. But why are you still here talking? Are you afraid to face this? Go see a pro and report after a few weeks bro.
 

backbreaker

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see, this is what I mean. my mother is nothing more than a crazy ex, at least that is how i have to now treat her.

she tells me she doesn't want to talk to me, then has blown up my phone the last day or so , none of which i have bothered to answer.

she then calls my fiancee's cell becuase "she wants to speak to her grandson"... i let her talk to him, i wasn't going to cause a scene but i told her never to pick up the phone for that woman again. she is crazy.
 

hansol

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Just a bit of wisdom I was told once:

A "mother" isn't the person that gives birth to you. Any nut with a vagina can do that. It's a gooey, bloody, loud affair. But it happens, and then it's over with.

It's what happens after the birth that dictates whether or not a woman gets to use the title "Mum". In your case, I would be hard-pressed to say she deserves to be called that.
 

J.F.

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backbreaker said:
Here a man, who has tried to fvck 2 of his son's girlfriends, one his fiancee, telling his son he is going downhill.
Wow....I know he's your dad, but still....I probably wouldn't even speak to the douchebag after he tried to pull something like that. It's pretty ironic that your religious nut mom ended up with your sleazeball dad. Your are right - your family is pretty fvcked up. I feel for you man.

But one can't chose his parents, so you have to make due with what you've got, which in your case isn't much. On the bright side, not having supportive parents that you could fall back on for help probably made you a stronger, more independent person.
 
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