I apologize to this forum

[frivolousz21]

While there are some bitterness in these places....yes I have some right now as well..I was 22-23 years old coming in here like I had it all figured out.

I am now almost 27....my priorities are completely ****ed up. I just walked in on my gf of almost one year laying in bed with another man who she has had a secret affair with both of us for nearly 4 months..I was completely hoodwinked.

before that I ****ed up a 2.5 year relationship with the mother of my child who is a saint compared to the last woman I had.

I am underpaid with to much debt and no college degree.

I have impulses I do not control well..I put way to much stock in sex and woman wanting me...I am to needed.

I need control over me and to love myself.

I need to learn to set goals and change things....

I have a positive outlook...I feel like I have been given a 2nd chance at everything...I am pretty young.. I want to change.

 

[squirrels]

I thought you were going to get away from her for a little while to find some time to screw your OWN head on straight.

I bet you are NOW.

Hang in there, man. Don't let it get the best of you.

 

[KontrollerX]

A great way to look at rock bottom type situations or just low situations in general is there is no sensible way of going except up from there.

It seems you are ready to start turning the proverbial lemons into lemonade which is damned inspiring considering what you've just experienced.

In anycase though yeah don't let this chick back into your life.

They all get exactly one chance to create this kind of sickening moment and they get no more than one from guys that love themselves enough to cut the cancer out of their life.

 

[frivolousz21]

cancer is right...she is so ****ed up..but thats not my issue now...

I am glad I went back and saw what I saw..if I didn't..who knows how long I would of treaded water, wasting my life and energy on this bull****.

I have a son...I need to a be a great man and a father.

I have no clue on where to go from here...but I will start my research and setting goals and make something happen for the better

 

[NewMan]

Why not forget all the BS right now and concentrate on the immediate.

Zen it my friend - just be. Focus on the now and yourself - you've enough timne in the future to start worrying about goals and all of that BS...

 

[iqqi]

Sorry to hear this friv.

Weren't there any kind of warning signs? My gut always tells me when something is up, I just usually ignore it. But I can never say the sense was not there.

Or evidence I did not want to see.

 

[darkstarrr]

Weren't there any kind of warning signs? My gut always tells me when something is up, I just usually ignore it........evidence I did not want to see.

Bingo

 

[Alexander the Great]

Frivolous, there is no need to apologize to this forum. Not even to yourself.

There is never a need to apologize for an honest mistake of f*ck-up. There is no regret necessary either for an honest mistake or f*ck-up.

You lived. You learned.

You are now wiser. You are now stronger. You are now crafting better weapons, better shielding and better armor to make your way through life and to defeat your enemies and protect yourself.

Sit up, close your eyes, talk to yourself. Say "I got lost. I will find my way again." Repeat this everytime you feel down and side-tracked from your objectives.

Forget about women for a while. Go out and do something you've always wanted to do but never dared or made time for. You will discover joy again.

From joy, more joy as joy attracts joy. That's how living well works.

Hope this helps. Peace to you.

 

[backbreaker]

James Allen said that men don't attract which they want but which they ARE

take the time you need to fix yourself, as you said, your prorities are out of wack. you will be fine, for half the battle is understanding, and that you do.

 

[frivolousz21]

I really can't go into signs.

lets just say she not only played me..but him equally since late October..

he and I talked for 5 hours and shared stories...the outcome is nearly unbelievable.

the amount of decite and lies she told to both of us and everyone around her is staggering...now she is claiming she cant remember the last 4 months becuase of her DID.

well it hurts..I thought this woman loved me....she sure had me fooled.

my hands are clean of it...

 

[speed dawg]

Frivolous, the only thing you can trust about women is that they will be women. If you start adding other problems outside the standard woman drama, then it gets ugly.

WTF she blamed her dad? Why can't women just look in the mirror and say, "I messed up because I was at the mercy of my emotions and I'm a weak person". I don't know a single cheating woman that would admit that, not even to themselves.

 

[frivolousz21]

no she blames MPD...or DID.

she is so far full of **** its sickening.

who knows if she has it or not.

all she has done is trying to save face with the other guy.

I showed and gave him everything..if he chooses to not listen to me and believe her thats his issue...but he will be in my boat one day.

Its a harsh reality to face that someone can do this to you....

but it's a huge relief to have be over..

 

[speed dawg]

My bad, thought it was a typo. I assume DID is some sort of illness?

I've been cheated on, but only in the traditional branch swinging sense, never a long term double timing type deal. But I know plenty that have. It's bad that there are people out there that can do it and feel no regret whatsoever.

 

[frivolousz21]

yea she is claiming she had alter personalities the last 4 months


and cant remember anything back to the point where we first broke up for 3 days...and she left me then for the other guy.

Its such **** its unreal..I mean I don't even know where to begin or end with it..except she is beyond unreal with it.

 

[The Logical Player]

don't have a girlfriend and these kinds of issues wont happen

 

[speed dawg]

But at least the Dems have the presidency, right Friv! I kid, I kid, just a joke.

Even worse, is that this chick's behavior doesn't even surprise me.

Logical Player, isn't the no girlfriend stuff getting a little old? I see you're point, and it might be the only way to drive in your point to some of the nimrods around here, but at the same time we're not woman haters on this site. A healthy relationship is a thing we should all desire and experience. Not depend on, mind you.

 

[cordoncordon]

I really can't go into signs.

lets just say she not only played me..but him equally since late October..

he and I talked for 5 hours and shared stories...the outcome is nearly unbelievable.

the amount of decite and lies she told to both of us and everyone around her is staggering...now she is claiming she cant remember the last 4 months becuase of her DID.

well it hurts..I thought this woman loved me....she sure had me fooled.

my hands are clean of it...

How did all this go on...werent you living with her?

 

[Aenigma]

But at least the Dems have the presidency, right Friv! I kid, I kid, just a joke.

Even worse, is that this chick's behavior doesn't even surprise me.

Logical Player, isn't the no girlfriend stuff getting a little old? I see you're point, and it might be the only way to drive in your point to some of the nimrods around here, but at the same time we're not woman haters on this site. A healthy relationship is a thing we should all desire and experience. Not depend on, mind you.

There is a difference between hating women and not trusting them.

 

[frivolousz21]

How did all this go on...werent you living with her?

Yea..and I was with her all the time..

she treated me like a god...so I suppose I would miss things.

I am sure she did all of this when I was at work.

we had sex everyday....so I am not surprised I overlooked things.

I was completely manipulated but I am not surprised...everyone told me...all my friends and family told me.

funny thing is..he told me the same thing.....

I guess I was to scared to be alone or something..I am very relieved..I have accepted the fact that she isn't worth much and people like her don't care.

 

[cordoncordon]

So how much did she see this guy? Did he come over during your work or she go over there? Seems odd that she could carry on a relationship with this guy with you around. I mean at night I'm assuming when she went out it was with you most of the time right? So how could those two do anything then besides just see each other during the day? Did he know that you were in the picture?