I am taking rejections too personally

[duke007]

Jeez this thread isn't very positive.

But to add to selfcontrol's challenge - try hanging out with a very ugly, awkward looking guy and you'll know what he means.

I was with an old high school friend last weekend who has gangly skinny arms, terrible posture, nervous expression and 'Dumb and Dumber' hair. All HBs gave us a wide berth.

 

[LordBrian]

You havent felt rejected until a girl actually laughs at you when you ask for the number. That happened to me. I can laugh at it now, but when it happened I felt really down. I learned from my mistake and worked on it.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

so-called ugly dudes - listen up. Quit doing so many cold approaches and start working on rapprt with chcks that have a common interest with you -- you know school, hobby, fitmess, sailing, whatever. Women are better then men in making allowances for looks once they get to know more about you.

The cold approach is obviously based on looks and very akward with a total stranger from the girl's point of view. they have nothing to go on but looks. Try to make new friends naturally and widen your social circle.

I know its hard in this materialistic and overly-superfical society, but whatever you do don't be an enemy to yourself - you already have enough of them out there. Start working on all the things you could control that cost very little or no money at al - fitness is key - mental, emotional and physical. Do not focus on what you cannot control - this will destroy your inner worth and self-esteem! If you lose this then what will you have left?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by LordBrian
You havent felt rejected until a girl actually laughs at you when you ask for the number. That happened to me. I can laugh at it now, but when it happened I felt really down. I learned from my mistake and worked on it.

These are wretched self-absorbed wh@res -- they do this shyt to good looking gus as well -- I see these loud bombastic hos everywhere and are not worthy of a man's company. Don't let the perceptions of others (especially an uncouth ho) define yor existence andworth as a man - you will self-destruct. I know it impacts you and that is ok - we are humans - but don't be absorbed with this rejection!

 

[Cage&Aquarium]

Originally posted by selfcontrol
Most guys at this site and at fastseduction.com are good-looking. They post their pics, and they look like freaking male models.

Seriously, is there anyone here who does NOT look good?

Those of us who are unnattractive to not waste the webspace with our pictures and therefore it only seems like nothing but attractive folks graze these boards.

Back on to topic, I had the same problem two years ago. I had alot of platonic friends, ALOT. I got so upset that it all boiled over into rage and now I have no platonic friends but I feel better about myself. So I guess if you can learn to discard people as trash who treat you like that, you can escape with your ego and will to live unscathed.

Don't go for attractive girls either. I mean attractive by media standards, not by yours. A tall, toned, tanned, blonde girl or other girls who fit the attractive standards have never really had to work for anything in their lives and this makes them rotten people 9 times out of 10, it seems.

PourtoRican_lover had some good ideas but his suggestions seem more likely to get you landed in the friendzone than in her heart so you better practice that rapport stuff before you try it. His approach will also work much better on mature women then kids (see almost any women under age 25).

 

[white_hype]

whats the big deal about getting rejected?
1-you feel like your not as "good" (attractive, smooth, etc) as you thought you were
2-she is better than you
3-youre the only one not get any chicks,what is wrong with me?
4-wahhh wahhh

who cares

treat them all as a learning experience and realise that every approach you make it will help you get the next one who will be even better than the one you just talked to

personally when i get rejected (which almost never happens b/c i only try to really pick them up when i see the buying signs or even slight interest... but i need to change this and take more risks) i feel a little pissed/sad... then soon after (about 1 minute) im like "who gives a sh1t she was a ugly ***** who probably has a boyfriend or had a bad day orsomething, who needs that slut" and never think of them again but use it as a learning expereince and it helps to improve my game

also- are you making yourself as presentable as possible? i just say AVERAGE JOE (show on NBC with ugly guys(average) trying to get a hot chick... but when a fat guy got eliminated he said she was shallow and it was only a fat thing...BULLSH1T

if that guy was in shape he would just make up another excuse tthat it wasnt his fault but the girls.. be realistic and make yourself look as good as you possibly can (good complexsion, decent clothes, clean, in shape) and you have no excuses

are you putting the best you out there? be honest

if things arent as good as they could be, spend more time working on your weaknesses till they become your strengths and quit worrying about chicks all thetime, you come first then everything will fall into place

 

[saki]

Even if your fugly, there will ALWAYS be girls that think you are attractive enough to date. Studies show that people generally hook up with people that are about equal in attractiveness. Now this is not always the case but it is a general observation. If you arent that attractive than why are you going for girls completely out of your league? I am average or maybe a little below, but truthfully, I am not attracted to what society thinks is attractive. I wouldnt feel comfortable around someone that was physically flawless because im not and they could use that against me. Just because a girl is not an HB 8 + does not mean that you wont be happy with her. She may have a sexy body or a very sexy intellect. OR maybe she will get more attractive as you discover more about her personality. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

I know everyone talks about how getting rejected is good and it really wont phase you and you will leave with more confidence etc. It doesnt work that way at all for me.

Recently a girl told me she was going out with me because I was paying for dinner. This hurt and I wasnt really even attracted to her that much. Then the other day I ask a girl to go out and she flat out said she wasnt attracted to me. These hurt and make it very hard for me to approach girls. I still shudder at some of the rejections I got about 8 years ago. How do you guys just brush off rejections? It is the reason why its so difficult for me to approach girls. I have been rejected many other times as well and they all hurt and make me feel ashamed to this day. I know many times its nothing personal to me but I cant help thinking that it is.

You sound a kinda wussy. If a girl ever told me that she was going out with me because I was paying for dinner, I would ditch her ON THE SPOT.

You need to start taking control of the situation a little better. Your issues with rejection stem from your own insecurities.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

You havent felt rejected until a girl actually laughs at you when you ask for the number. That happened to me. I can laugh at it now, but when it happened I felt really down. I learned from my mistake and worked on it.

Why did you take that?

 

[Charppy]

workerouter...i liked what you said but you said something that raised a question in my mind....you said that his issues of rejection stem from his own insecurities...so my question is is how does one overcome them insecurities or is the idea to some how hide those insecurities??? sorry to the original poster i just had to ask