I Am So Confused.

[AFK Protector]

Ok...I've heard all this stuff about nice guys and whatnot. Being a "nice guy" with many female acquaintances (non-sexually of course and I'm not gay), we talk about stuff....you know...emotional stuff. I don't want anything about how I'm AFC. I'm not worried about that. Thing is, there's this guy and he's my friend. Let's label him "Bob." Bob is a confident guy...maybe too confident/full of himself. He walks with his chest out and to me, looks paralyzed. I had always thought it was funny, until my other friend, "John," said that he was just full of himself and thinks he's better than everyone else. He is pretty harsh and straight forward with women. He's not scared or anything...He just says what he feels. So one day, I'm chatting with this girl, "Mary" in U.S., and this guy comes up, and she says how she doesn't like him because he's mean. Here's how the convo kinda went.

Me: Yea, yesterday Bob burned Sally(another friend) pretty bad.

***NOTE: Bob basically said he was better/smarter than Sally because she was taking "easy classes." It was a real childish convo. She was dumbfounded....went off on him, but he kept saying she was lower than him.

Her: Bob? I don't like him. He's so mean. He called me fat!

Me: Well, maybe fat isn't the word....I'd call you "pleasantly plump."

Her:

Me:

Then she went on about how he's an ass and the next day, I find out Bob called someone ELSE fat. Not her. (she's like 8.5-9.0 btw). So I'm like, yo, he didn't call you fat.

her: hmph...I don't like him anyways. He seems violent.

Me: I'm cuddly like a fuzzy wuzzy bear.
(just kidding about this last quote by me)

someone please explain to me why this is happening. Is this just a coincidence that a girl doesn't like jerks? Tell me it ain't true!

From my posts, I'm that "nice guy" + sarcasm/teasing. Keep that in mind. Shove that "you're AFC" up your @ss because I need advice and insight. As always, thanks in advance.

 

[Trapspringer]

Men who make women feel bad about their body and physical appearances will be disliked by women and if they are in a relationship with them, they will be cheated on in due time. What Bob is doing is beyond being a jerk, approaches being extremely dislikable if not despised, and hits near the bottom of the barrel when is comes to potential women magnets. If just made suggestions about improving their appearances, he might go farther up the barrel. Do you think these women will actually be willing to get naked for him? Hell no! For what? To give him more material?

 

[Tango-Kid]

Who said she doesn´t like him? You read her mind?

Haven´t you ever heard a woman complaining how she hates this one jerk and is now falling in love with him, which makes her crazy? She has kept telling herself that she hates his rudeness but can not help the biological fact that she adores his confidence.

However, I would see bob´s action not confident at all! Speaking bad about other people especially about their appearances is a token of bad self-confidence! Maybe he´s fragile inside and, believe me, women can sense that. If he seems violent, it´s probably because he´s trying to cover his fragility with the jerk-attitude.

Jerk not meaning an idiot with ego-problems, but a confident guy with a who-cares-attitude.

However-Kid

 

[AFK Protector]

Great points, but I gotta say. Bob never admits that he is wrong. When something bad happens, he always blames it on other people. He sh1ts on other innocent people to make himself feel better. I think Trapspringer makes a good point too. This guy is pure negativity. I'm gonan stop hanging around him since I noticed I acquired some of those traits, althought they're not fully developed yet.

Btw, lemme know what you think of the convo between me and the girl. More teasing? Less? what would you have done? Thanks.

*ahem*

 

[AFK Protector]

uh....someone else gimme some feedback. or do i need to "discover this for myself"

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I posted this on the thread titled, "hot chicks with ugly guys",

The hell with titles of 'jerk' vs 'nice guy' - you could be a jerk and still be nice, there is a balance! Just be a man and not a supplicating fool. Some women like 'nice guys' because they can rule over them easily - if you want to be a doormat then there are many girls that are happy to wipe their feet on you.

Some women want men who treat them with respect and they call that 'nice'. It depends what you define as 'nice'!

Just don't give up your masculinity and become a wimp (weak and ineffectual) to satisfy a woman!

 

[Tango-Kid]

I agree with Puertorican.

It´s about how we understand the words.. both words have a negative and a positive side:

- Adjectives good about jerk can be: confident, funny, easy-going...
- Bad side of the jerk can be: rude, arrogant, selfish...

- Good about the nice guy: friendly, polite, honest...
- Bad about the nice guy: negative, hopeless, lack of balls, lack of self respect...

SO, it´s not basically about jerk vs. niceguy. The DJ has good sides of both characters and non of the bad sides.

AFK Protector, I don´t know enough about the situation to give you any advice, but I like your style on that conversation It´s funny! However, try to lead the conversation out of negative subjects.

The býtches can talk bad about other people behind their back, but me no - I´m not going to waste my time talking bad about other people or whining about things!

So, AFK Protector, I ´d say that keep your style and don´t become a wimp - like Puertorican said - and you will be doing good with any chick who deserves you.

Hungover-Kid

 

[Genghis Juan]

Well you said that she doesn't like him. You never said they actually hooked up right? So, what is the problem?

Sounds like this dude has either a superiority complex, or he is hiding behind this personna, rejecting girls before they have a chance to reject him; like a coward.

Stop being a teddy-bear!! Be more sexual will ya!

 

[Trapspringer]

What else do you want input on? Your buddy souns like a complete @sshole and doesn't sound very likable. Even a lot of jerks have some charm to them. Bob sounds like he completely lacks charm.

 

[AFK Protector]

Thanks a lot. The DJ having some of each side example really helped clear everything up. Thanks for all your feedback. This thread is now complete.