I am really struggling to get girls - would like new ideas.

[boom786]

What is your friend's background? BTW 5-9 is some big range.

I can't remember exactly but a long time ago i had that i can show you some of the pics i have on my insta I guess.
As for my friend he's Pakistani as well but his texting skills are 9/10 whereas mine are like 5 or 6/10 and he's in Edinburgh and has a nice apartment so he usually sends that to girls and they want to come over. I'm paying more in London but cannot build the same connection with girls and can't highlight my apartment as much because it's in Stratford/Plaistow which is far away for loads of girls cause London is huge - but again his main advantage is his connection building skills. He looks better than me as well but maybe not on pictures but i think again main thing is his texting

 

[pipeman84]

I've thought my first dates are usually good and I learn each time - I usually take the girls to a scenic area/water based area of London with like a route planned out in my head for sitting etc - Canary Wharf and grab some drinks and then walk around water/gardens and then some food and golf usually but now I'm planning on taking girls to shisha and ball pit as first date - I usually end up spending £30-70 per date sometimes £10 depending on scenario and sometimes the girls pay a bit.

I find this concept of paying (anything, let alone £70) to talk to a girl very weird and not congruent with a guy who sees himself as prize/valuable. Your attitude should be: I'm spending this time with this girl in order to establish 1. do I like this girl? 2. does she look like she's interested in me for me or in passing time, getting a free meal or whatever.

 

[pipeman84]

I can't remember exactly but a long time ago i had that i can show you some of the pics i have on my insta I guess.
View attachment 9135

Judging by the photos you seem like a nice guy. You may give off the vibe of being too nice, too soft and that might push girls who look for someone more masculine away. On the other hand, you could be a target to some gold diggin' b!tch, so be alert.

 

[boom786]

I find this concept of paying (anything, let alone £70) to talk to a girl very weird and not congruent with a guy who sees himself as prize/valuable. Your attitude should be: I'm spending this time with this girl in order to establish 1. do I like this girl? 2. does she look like she's interested in me for me or in passing time, getting a free meal or whatever.

Yh man agreed - starting to pay less and less generally but at the same time I don't know how to get girls to come out otherwise? I tried inviting a girl to my place from Instagram straight away and it went bad she took offence - but I do believe in lots of practice and experimenting so I'll play around with it. And yh also gonna try to get girls to split the bill now potentially / gonna experiment - my friend says he gets girls to pay or goes somewhere really cheap and he still gets action cause he's better looking and has better player skills I guess - but it is a little confusing cause guys like Rollo and Corey Wayne say you should always pay on first date. Tbh i honestly don't mind the money but I hate that when you pay some girls like you less (they put you in beta category) and I have seen this effect play out so now I'm only going to go cheap places when possible and going to play around with it and experiment.

 

[boom786]

Judging by the photos you seem like a nice guy. You may give off the vibe of being too nice, too soft and that might push girls who look for someone more masculine away. On the other hand, you could be a target to some gold diggin' b!tch, so be alert.

Yh definitely a thing so practising and learning to become more selfish although i think I have made progress - let's see and pray haha and keep working! And yh I think I should downplay the wealth aspect a bit more and play around with and banter more and create more drama with girls.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

My looks facially are quite good and style is good too but I am fairly chubby but can still look good cause i have good facial genes so a skinny face at all times. Online I think i look really good cause of very good editing etc. Online I think I look 8/10, Facially I think i am 8/10 Style I think I am 7/10 and get lots of compliments on that all the time as I always wear nice suits and glasses and watches etc and have spent plenty of money on it etc, I'm often wearing £1,000 - £3,000 outfits. Body I'm 6 foot and 102 KG with good muscle but also lots of fat so i think I am a 4/10 with my shirt off and ignoring face. I can understand getting rejected in bed or something but can't understand getting rejected online or just in person casually.

In normal life, i do get indicators of interests from girls, like from 30-40% of them, but when I message them trying to set dates it doesn't work or they all work at my workplace and so I don't make the move due to being scared of potentially losing my job - and in general I don't want to date at my workplace.

If you’re 8/10 you don’t need to do anything. Just don’t give off serial killer vibes. girls will initiate.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

You are 23, but let's put the "focus on yourself first" talk aside. You are putting in the effort, and that is half of the battle if anything 75% of the fight. Most men give up at the first or second or third failure. What will make you YOU and be successful whether that's in finance, career, business, or women will be determined by how many times are you willing to fall down, get up, and do it all over.

To your question, it's hard to say without knowing you personally. This means knowing how you think, behave, think of yourself, and yes unfortunately what you look like. Most times, if not all, it's not about you per se (although there are things you can do to make those things better), it's really the state of modern dating and how women think and behave (especially post Covid-19). I think most of us became very socially awkward post-pandemic.

I guess it depends on how well aware you are of your flaws both mentally and physically. I will also say that things often are often pushed farther away when we force them or chase them. Things that are not meant for you simply slip away and we have to not take that personally.

My motto: Things I've lost I was not meant to have and people that walk out were not meant to be in my life. Keep trying and figure out what you can control and improve. You don't want people telling you those things, life wouldn't be interesting if it was easy.

One of my life rules: Never take anything personally. This is something I still work on because yes, failure after failure gets to you but I am willing to keep on getting up.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Zimbabwe]

Look into Morrocan and Tunisian women, aim guessing you are in the UK now where things are a lot tougher for ethnics like you.

The good thing about Morroco is you have the liberal girls in the big cities and the traditional wife material in the countryside. Morrocan women are very good looking too like Pokimane

 

[EyeBRollin]

My looks facially are quite good and style is good too but I am fairly chubby but can still look good cause i have good facial genes so a skinny face at all times. Online I think i look really good cause of very good editing etc. Online I think I look 8/10, Facially I think i am 8/10 Style I think I am 7/10 and get lots of compliments on that all the time as I always wear nice suits and glasses and watches etc and have spent plenty of money on it etc, I'm often wearing £1,000 - £3,000 outfits. Body I'm 6 foot and 102 KG with good muscle but also lots of fat so i think I am a 4/10 with my shirt off and ignoring face. I can understand getting rejected in bed or something but can't understand getting rejected online or just in person casually.

You are overrating yourself. An 8/10 is a 6’ tall, blonde haired white dude that is in shape and makes 6 figures. If you were an 8/10, you wouldn’t be struggling to get girls online.

 

[SW15]

Most times, if not all, it's not about you per se (although there are things you can do to make those things better), it's really the state of modern dating and how women think and behave (especially post Covid-19). I think most of us became very socially awkward post-pandemic.

That's the crazy thing about the current mating environment. There are a lot of men out there who are decent men who are treated like trash by women. Women are fuccking trash. It's difficult for men to not take the ridiculous number of rejections from stranger approaches and from swipe personally. It is incredibly trauma inducing. I had to go to therapy in part due to dating traumas.

@boom786 is experiencing massive dating trauma despite being a good looking guy with height. It is insane!

Look into Morrocan and Tunisian women, aim guessing you are in the UK now where things are a lot tougher for ethnics like you.

The good thing about Morroco is you have the liberal girls in the big cities and the traditional wife material in the countryside. Morrocan women are very good looking too like Pokimane

The crazy thing about his story is that he's being treated like shiit by other ethnics in London. It's true that there are some White women in London treating him like shiit but he's mentioned going on dates with Asian women in London and experiencing rude behavior.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I can't remember exactly but a long time ago i had that i can show you some of the pics i have on my insta I guess.
View attachment 9135 As for my friend he's Pakistani as well but his texting skills are 9/10 whereas mine are like 5 or 6/10 and he's in Edinburgh and has a nice apartment so he usually sends that to girls and they want to come over. I'm paying more in London but cannot build the same connection with girls and can't highlight my apartment as much because it's in Stratford/Plaistow which is far away for loads of girls cause London is huge - but again his main advantage is his connection building skills. He looks better than me as well but maybe not on pictures but i think again main thing is his texting

Not bad. It does look like you are trying hard to look cool. Also your pictures don’t come across as authentic nor masculine. You have ethnicity working against you as well. The South Asian dudes I know that pull hard with all races are muscular, have good teeth, are clean shaven, and have a clean cut haircut.

 

[The Diver]

I've thought my first dates are usually good, and I learn each time - I typically take the girls to a scenic area/water-based area of London with like a route planned out in my head for sitting etc. - Canary Wharf and grab some drinks and then walk around

( I was once like you, out of marriage, nice guy, clueless about what work with women, until I found this place and it's invaluable information.
All I say below is from my experience and what worked for me.)

So, No, it's not a good first date. You lost here before you had her; why? Because you tried too hard to impress her to please her .This is the result of your scarcity mindset. Your actions put her on a pedestal before you even know her.

The first date should be low-key, like a drink or coffee, where YOU are the one who qualifies her, check if she suits to you ,not vice versa.
This is not an empty mantra when you have the right mind set. (I did reject women that I didn't like at the first date)

I never did more than a coffee or drink on a first date and rarely had flake for a second date and onward. (The main reason I attribute to screening hard for the high-interest level, not going for mediocre interest in hoping it'll get better . )

It's all in the mindset. You have to lose yourp scarcity mindset. Your scarcity mindset is a death sentence to your sex life.

Now stay with me here. To do so, you have to fu*k as many women as you can; only then you'll be able to lose your scarcity mindset. But to get to this point, you have to start from somewhere.
That somewhere point is the point where girl will start F you.
So, Lower your standard as much as you need and start from the bottom. ( lower standrt/bottom = the point where girls start F you. )

Then you'll notice,as you start losing your scarcity mindset, your quality of the girl you'll date and F will get higher.

Also, I can tell you that girls know if they are going to F you in the first few minutes after seeing and talking to you. ( I used to ask a girl, usually after few sex times, when they knew they wanted to F me, and all of them said almost the same = "I found you attractive and sexy few minutes into the date")
So to this effect, you have to lose your fat and get a sexy look. That means a lean sexy look.
(well, that works for me, but I'm lucky here, as my swimming and proper diet doing this job for me).

Women look at you and ask themselves: " do I want to F this guy?" if she is not feeling it straight away, she won't F you, and it doesn't meter where you'll take her for a first date.

Now, don't get it wrong. I'm not a Chadd,I'm far from it, but my mindset is on point. ( not to brag but not once did a woman comment about how I carry myself with confidence, calmness, and assurance and how that is so sexy in their eyes,and combined it with my lean masculine body from swimming, it's a no-brainer)

Like you, I started from the bottom. F anything came my way until I lost my scarcity for pus*y and my confidence sky rockets, and women could sense it.
From that point onward improving was a neutral path for me, learned what work and what not, and interacting and sexing women got easier as time went by.


good luck.

 

[pipeman84]

You have to lose yourp scarcity mindset.

So, Lower your standard as much as you need and start from the bottom. ( lower standrt/bottom = the point where girls start F you. )

Totally disagree with the above. The scarcity mindset is all internal...thinking that you get rid of it by fvcking skanks and fatties is ridiculous.

my friend says he gets girls to pay or goes somewhere really cheap and he still gets action cause he's better looking and has better player skills I guess - but it is a little confusing cause guys like Rollo and Corey Wayne say you should always pay on first date. Tbh i honestly don't mind the money but I hate that when you pay some girls like you less (they put you in beta category) and I have seen this effect play out so now I'm only going to go cheap places when possible and going to play around with it and experiment.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with your looks when dressed (to look good naked you should probably lose 15kg and hit the gym), it's all in your vibe. Secondly, don't take what those guys (or anyone for that matter) say as gospel, use your critical thinking skills and intuition to assess the info. Make that invitation that involves spending money after you've already built rapport and established you like the girl and she likes you. Thirdly, the girls don't put you in beta because you pay per se, they do that because they get your 'approval seeking' vibe and sense you're trying to buy them.

 

[The Diver]

Totally disagree with the above. The scarcity mindset is all internal...thinking that you get rid of it by fvcking skanks and fatties is ridiculous

Of course, it's an internal mindset.

Op is most likely a virgin. He's aiming high without any experience and shot down time after time.

He has to start somewhere. Lowering his standard to get experience and losing his poisoning pus*y scarcity is a temporary sit-back.
Of course, F low quality is not a permanent solution to puss*y.

After a few lays, his mindset will shift; he'll lose this puss*y scarcity and gain confidence and experience.
From here, he will only climb up to a better quality.

As long as he doesn't have experience, he'll continue to make mistakes time after time, lost the girls time after time, and won't understand what he doing wrong.

He can try and hit 8 and 9 as much as he wants, but as long as he has this puss*y scarcity, he goes nowhere.( unless he's super chad, which he is not)

 

[kavi]

Thanks man.

I don't do cold approach to girls I don't know like on the street but i do approach if I sense indicators of interest and if it's outside of work but I mostly don't go to social events cause it takes so much time and my life mostly revolves around work. I do have a social circle but mostly at work or guy friends and don't have girls from outside of work and I don't want to date in work out of fear of getting fired due to HR. And yh would definitely smash 5 and above.

How i look is in this video - I'm the guy on the right -

LOOOOOL Oh **** that is you.

Im a SC regular too. You may have seen me on some videos.

Im from a UK Muslim background too but I am not a Muslim anymore and ID as non-religious fyii

Its hard for every1 at the moment.

I have a lot of exp with this and am willing to work with you, tutor and mentor but I am not sure what I can do really. Firstly you are too young to really make an impact and then ontop of that value and game is something that today is hard to learn and find your place.

But I will dm and we can talk if you want. We can even meet at SC lool. You know I have a friend group at SC with some white girls where I was running some high level game and looking to do a poly thing. That group is still around and the girls still interesting but I am waiting to see how things develop. I am also in talks to do a poly thing with some hot girls from the muslim background so I know what I am talking about.

I love it how we come from the same background and dealing with the same type of girls (asians, pakis) etc lol but I also interact with white girls alot it is kinda the same.

Where it differs is today asian girls are not being cool to asian guys and they are giving a lot of easy and free love to white and especialy black men. That is something you will need to contend with and push back against but it requires high level of game awareness and knowledge.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

You are 23, most men are your situation because it is hard for most men your age. The perfect thing to do would be to focus on yourself/career/business until you are near your 30s. However, I completely understand that this isn't feasible lol. You are better off getting in a relationship with a girl that doesn't drain your M.E.A.T and focusing on developing yourself. Chasing Tail gets old fast and you will have plenty of time to do that at a less vulnerable time.

 

[LucianoM]

Money, job, clothes, all that dont mean jack chit to girls so dont even bring that into the equation.

The girls just arent that sexually attracted to you, your personality might be off putting. Try to be more fun and less serious. Get drunk with them, go clubbing. Show them you are a fun guy, make them laugh and theyll want to fvck.

 

[corrector]

The crazy thing about his story is that he's being treated like shiit by other ethnics in London.

It sounds like you are in denial about the plight of ethnicels who don't have the JBW luxury.

 

[Bible_Belt]

You are overrating yourself. An 8/10 is a 6’ tall, blonde haired white dude that is in shape and makes 6 figures. If you were an 8/10, you wouldn’t be struggling to get girls online.

That's racist! I am that guy, except I make more like 4 figures. And I have no struggles. Stop equating your value as a man with how much money you make.

 

[Foe]

You rate yourself pretty high man, I always gave myself a 7ish, photo feeler have me a 9 bit I got a wheat waffles evaluation and he gave me a 5!!

To be fair I think wheat has a bit of small man syndrome thing happening. At the end of the day the market determines the value and if your not getting it then something is up.

The good news is the one thing black pill will give a guy to increase value is weight so if are packing a bit extra make that the focus.

There is such a thing as over game, the guys on here who get that understand the issue straight away, and so do the girls. Less is more allot of the time, knowing all the Redhill, pua is sometimes too much.

You have to live it, which you are and you will learn.