I am not buying all this Mystery BS

[drixsa]

no im not talking about the mystery method.

im talking about when you approach a girl, normally.

ive heard so much advice saying things along the lines of :

"let her do the talking, you just listen, and when she asks you a question answer spairingly."

"let her talk all day if she wants to"

im sorry but this is just BS, to me.

im not going to sit around and listen to any girl blab on for hours, i can think of time better spent.

there is no way that a girl builds interest by talking AT you. and if she is interested in me becuase of that NO THANX!

if a girl doesnt want to know more about me, or is not interested in my stories/thoughts/points of view then what the hell do i need her around for anyway?

i definatley believe in not telling her every damn thing that ever happened to you but there has to be a happy medium.

does anyone actually go out there and let the girl blab on and on for hours, while just sitting there giving dumb little 2-3 word responses?

 

[DjDreamer]

That's good for ONS, bad for LTR....

 

[Slickster]

Although I don't disagree with the points you bring up I wonder how so many people have this messed up view about what mystery is about???

People think that if they talk too much, or reveal too much they're not being mysterious??? Bullsh!t. Sorry, but I can babble for hours to some chick and she'll hardly know anything about me. Who cares if she knows where you live, or what you do, etc? You are a complex individual and it could take years to figure out what makes you tick.

If you are so boring, simple, and uninteresting that you could reveal everything about yourself in a mere conversation then no amount of mystery or anything else is going to do much for her interest or attraction.

Try this idea on:

Think of it from her perspective. She's gotten to know you a bit. You've displayed your excellent self, and her IL is on the rise. This is important, because if her Interest isn't there first, then Mystery means nothing. You've hinted at your interest in her but she's not quite sure. She's thinking...... "He's a great guy, but does he like me?? He seemed interested, but now he's ignoring me? Oh, he's back, he must want me. Wait a minute, where'd he go? He left!? He didn't even say goodbye???"

Even after you get her number, or take her on a date she should be thinking.... "Why hasn't he tried to kiss me? When is he going to call again? Why is he talking to her? I wonder where he is tonight? etc, etc."

In a world where most guys wear their intentions on their sleeves you are giving her a gift - a puzzle, a little confusion, and the thrill of the chase.

The thrill of chasing and trying to possess something or someone who is unique. By showing some initial interest, but by playing hard to get, being aloof, and not revealing your intentions too early - you become different from all the other chumps who are trying to win her attention.

She just can't figure you out and you become...... a Mystery??????

 

[DjDreamer]

When it comes to mystery and women, I think it's best to be brief because long winded mysteriousness might make her think you're a schizo...

 

[So pimp its scary]

What people mean by the mystery side of thing is simply "Don't reveal everything about yourself all at once." What you're doing when you are 'trying' to be mysterious is to let the girl imagine stuff about you.

Let's just say whatever she imagines about YOU is going to be much more interesting then the stories you are going to tell her. It's not so much about giving her 2-3 word answers, obviously you gotta say enough to keep the convo interesting, but the focus should be on the woman... answer her questions without adding anything extra, let her imagine the details.

Think of the opposite, revealing everything no matter how bad it is... telling her all the stories, regardless of what she asks about. Although this is a seduction strategy in itself (Read about Lord Byron), for the average person you are just going to be boring the girl with your endless stories about yourself, and annoying her with how self-centerred you are.

 

[FoxHound20]

Slickster good reply man!

He's right.. leave her wondering where you are, who you're talking to, and who you are with. It drives a girl mad and she can't get you off her mind.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Slickster
Although I don't disagree with the points you bring up I wonder how so many people have this messed up view about what mystery is about???

People think that if they talk too much, or reveal too much they're not being mysterious??? Bullsh!t. Sorry, but I can babble for hours to some chick and she'll hardly know anything about me. Who cares if she knows where you live, or what you do, etc? You are a complex individual and it could take years to figure out what makes you tick.

If you are so boring, simple, and uninteresting that you could reveal everything about yourself in a mere conversation then no amount of mystery or anything else is going to do much for her interest or attraction.

Try this idea on:

Think of it from her perspective. She's gotten to know you a bit. You've displayed your excellent self, and her IL is on the rise. This is important, because if her Interest isn't there first, then Mystery means nothing. You've hinted at your interest in her but she's not quite sure. She's thinking...... "He's a great guy, but does he like me?? He seemed interested, but now he's ignoring me? Oh, he's back, he must want me. Wait a minute, where'd he go? He left!? He didn't even say goodbye???"

Even after you get her number, or take her on a date she should be thinking.... "Why hasn't he tried to kiss me? When is he going to call again? Why is he talking to her? I wonder where he is tonight? etc, etc."

In a world where most guys wear their intentions on their sleeves you are giving her a gift - a puzzle, a little confusion, and the thrill of the chase.

The thrill of chasing and trying to possess something or someone who is unique. By showing some initial interest, but by playing hard to get, being aloof, and not revealing your intentions too early - you become different from all the other chumps who are trying to win her attention.

She just can't figure you out and you become...... a Mystery??????

slickster ive seen a lot of your replies lately and to say the least i am quite impressed

i dont have any trouble atracting woman, getting the phone number, or even being a mystery.

my post was more of a rant than anything else b/c when i started out this is the way i took the "be a mystery" advice and it made me take a step back before i could take 2 forward

ive just seen a lot of advice saying let her do all the talking, etc. etc. and just found that to be BS and unrealistic

i have applied the principles above which you talked about to a great success

 

[dietzcoi]

Have you ever been at a party and some drunk is trying to tell you his whole life story, with him as the hero?

Think about that and don't reveal too much to a woman either. Don't be a bore!

It does work, I have tried both ways and believe me, blabbing your life story is a BAD idea...

Dietzcoi

 

[Austin Allegro]

I once went to a talk given by one of the writers of 'Dr Who', the British science fiction series.

He said 'what you can't see is always more frightening'. Basically the formula of Dr Who was to build up tension and fear through suggestion - when you finally got to see the monster it was obviously just a man in a rubber suit waving his arms around.

I think this is similar to how women perceive men they're dating.

If you come straight out as 'the man in the rubber suit' you will cease to be a challenge. But if you reveal limited amounts of information you set her wondering about what you are really like -and women like nothing more than to speculate endlessly on other people's personalities.

So you don't need to lie, withold ALL information or just let her do the talking, but you need to exercise control in what you reveal and how.

 

[chlywly]

In theory people can say what ever they like; but in reality: all people and all women are different, some are more social/talkative than others, some are more imaginative and easier to talk to...

Obviously you can't let HER do ALL of the talking, a lot of women simply won't do ALL of the talking b/c they have nothing to talk about! lol...

It would be great to find a woman who can hold her own sure, than its easy game, but if she's not doing all of the talking you have to 'lead' the conversation, open ended questions; her long winded reponses, get it?

Certainly you have to talk about yourself; just not ramble...

 

[elvis aint dead yet]

I agree with what the one guy said. If you can tell somebody your whole life story in an hour long conversation at a bar, then, well, you don't need to be dating girls. You need to go out and start having a life.

It is sad when you can reveal your whole life in an hour or less.

For me, everyday brings something new that adds to that story. So what i tell you today might not be the same thing I tell you next week and so on. Every day is a new adventure, but if you can tell somebody your whole life story in an hour or less, you need to go out and start living.

I guess there are many guys like this though. I've met and had a few friends who, about 10 years after high school, well, thats what they still talked about, all the time. High school this and high school that. What they did then, who they dated and so on. Great to tell stories about your past and we all know certain stories might pop up now and again, but if you find yourself telling the same story over and over again and it happened over 10 years ago, you my friend need to start living life and not trying to pick up chics.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by drixsa
no im not talking about the mystery method.

im talking about when you approach a girl, normally.

ive heard so much advice saying things along the lines of :

"let her do the talking, you just listen, and when she asks you a question answer spairingly."

"let her talk all day if she wants to"

im sorry but this is just BS, to me.

im not going to sit around and listen to any girl blab on for hours, i can think of time better spent.

there is no way that a girl builds interest by talking AT you. and if she is interested in me becuase of that NO THANX!

if a girl doesnt want to know more about me, or is not interested in my stories/thoughts/points of view then what the hell do i need her around for anyway?

i definatley believe in not telling her every damn thing that ever happened to you but there has to be a happy medium.

does anyone actually go out there and let the girl blab on and on for hours, while just sitting there giving dumb little 2-3 word responses?

That's because your getting it twisted. You don't let her babble on and on about stupid stuff. You dig into her life. You control the convo...only a symp will sit there and let a woman babble on and on.

You purpose is to uncover the keys to unlocking her control. What is she into. What kind of freaky stuff turns her on...then you lay the seeds to start exciting her.

Here is an example:

I had a friend who had a facination with other women's bodies. she had latent bisexual tendacies. during sex I would whisper things about a woman doing things to her. this intensified her orgasms and created the opportunities to push her in that direction.

I would not of been able to do this if I had not of dug deep into her head. Once you unlock the door, access is open for you to manipulate her mind.

That is of course if you are they type that likes to control women. If your not than just leave it alone and try to find out exciting information about the real her.

 

[xblitz44x]

The mystery stuff IS garbage. I've been saying that for awhile now. There is nothing mysterious about not saying anything. And the 'reason' that we come up with for it's effectivness is equally illogical:

"Ugh, well, girls like men of mystery. Like the guys in romance novels. Therefore, if you are mysterious girls will wonder about you."

Get outta here. Girls will only wonder about guys they LIKE. And if they LIKE you, you would have to make them wonder about you. Most of the time, "DJ's" will play the mystery thang in the name of maintaining interest level. Which, to me, is the AFC'est reason. I don't agree with hiding yourself behind a shell in fear that when a girl finds out who you are, she'll bail. no thanks.

"You purpose is to uncover the keys to unlocking her control. What is she into. What kind of freaky stuff turns her on...then you lay the seeds to start exciting her." -PS

That's calling "getting to know her". There isn't anything mysterious about that. Getting to know her is all you should be worried about. Don't overcomplicate this. And PS, getting to know somebody isn't unlocking her control. Anything you do to her, she's letting you do because she likes you.