I am hornier than ever yet I cannot approach

[juicywa]

keep at it broski.. there's a long road ahead of you. after opening, another problem arises...and so on..

also, night clubs aren't really for talking.. its like online ****, u gotta look good and its more physical than conversation. You can try bars or just practice when you're out and about doing your daily business.

Best way to kill two birds with one stone is to sign up on social classes like .. whatever your interests are.. basket weaving? yoga? .. be a camp counselor? haha you pedo.

 

[curiouscat]

I also did not mention that there is this girl that I have known for a couple of months now, she is texting me everyday and we see each other quite regularly (no romantic activity) but I don't know if she views me as just a friend or more, I would like to find out but if it is not the case, I would not like to ruin the friendship.

Anyways, bossman90's comment about the fact that I may have Asperger's syndrom got me thinking, I checked the common symptoms online and I think that I share a lot of those. If it was the case, that would really explain a lot of things.

 

[bcolon]

Flirt with her. See where that goes. She how she responds. You have to grab your balls and go for what you want. If the girl doesn't like how strong your coming on. Move on to the next. Spin, cycle and rinse. Repeat, repeat and repeat!

 

[Bossman90]

Thanks for the advice, intellectually I know that I have to be patient and there is a long road ahead but the problem is the sexual frustration. It has reached ridiculous levels, it is just not natural for a 33 years old man to have had simply no intimate relations for more than 10 years (no one night stands, not kissing no nothing).

I also refuse to masturbate or watch pornbecause I think it would a huge waste of time and energy, that would just be instant gratification to feel even worst later. I also do a lot of sport but it doesn't help dissipating the frustration much.

Of course I have also tried to make friends before but the problem is that they all seem to be too busy with their own lives to hang out often with me. I only see my “closest”friend once every two months. I really don't know what is wrong with me but the one thing I want, a social life seems to be the hardest thing in the world. It seems so easy for everybody and so hard for me, the worst part is that I know I'm a fairly good looking guy, it's like if it was a cosmic joke on me.

Anyways, I will keep on trying to appraach. I really do think I have to try to approach in the subway but somehow I am still paralyzed by the idea of having people around looking at me approaching a girl. Yes, I am that messed up, I worry more about people around that actually talking to the girl !

Maybe my attitude towards life is the same I have when I listen to music, I pay too much attention to the lyrics and not enough attention to the melodies.

PS : to reply to youngmack no I really don't think I have aspergers, I am actually pretty good at reading facial expression and I can detect humor. I think my biggest problem is the fear of embarrassment or the fear of looking needy / inferior / weird. This fear takes over when dealing with people and makes me sometimes appear like an utterly boring person when I am the opposite inside.

That was me, suggesting aspergers. People with aspergers have fears of social acceptance. There's a whole list of symptoms. Don't list to young Mack, he meats the description well......

 

[curiouscat]

Hi,
Things have been evolving a little bit since my last post, before three weeks ago, the few timesI approached a girl I didn’t dare to be explicitly sexual and made up some excuse why I talked to them like asking for directions and things like that.

Three weeks ago, I realized how sick I was of this ***** attitude so I decided to be more “direct” in my approaches, I just told the one I approached three weeks ago on the subway that I wanted to talk to her and then we had a long conversation until we arrived at her station, she was really nice and she enjoyed the conversation but of course in the end… I didn’t ask for her number !!

The second one was the week after, again in the subway, she was even more receptive, I paused intentionally at times to see if she wanted to engage the conversation and she did, she even followed me when I had to change station, she was hot but when I asked her age she told me she was 17 ! That’s obviously way too young for me. It didn’t seem to be a problem for her but it was for me so I left it there.

The third one was this afternoon, she was absolutely my type, so I went to and talked to her, again I just told her I wanted to talk to her, she wasn’t really responsive so I asked her if I annoyed her (I didn’t care really) she said a little bit but I just ignored it, then I asked her where she is from, she then asked me why I wanted to know that, I just replied that I’m curious then she asked me where I am from. I then told her that if she wants to know where I’m from, she has to tell me where she is first.
She then left abruptly, I might have seemed weird to her but honestly I couldn’t care less and that is the big realization to me, I am absolutely unaffected by it, actually the most uncomfortable thing wasn’t her reaction but the idea that people around me saw that and might I thought that I was a weirdo or even a perv.
Anyways, I think that was the worst case scenario in term of approaches and it wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought, just a minor embarrassment really.

I am going to keep at it and at this not point it’s not even to pick up as many girls as possible (although it would be nice) but more that I want to prove myself that I am not a slave to my fears anymore and if I get embarrassed in the process, so be it.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

If you have homies about that live your game will drastically improve. Right now I'm like a beast. I will holla at every good looking girl that crosses my way. In my mind I know that if I don't spit game then I know my homies will. It has been a week and a half since school started and I already have a nice team. 18 year old dime pieces.......

and to think that I will only get better with time!!

My point: Find some homies that get girls and feed off them.

 

[curiouscat]

I know what you mean but I need to figure out a lot of things on my own first.

 

[csycpr]

She then left abruptly, I might have seemed weird to her but honestly I couldn’t care less and that is the big realization to me, I am absolutely unaffected by it, actually the most uncomfortable thing wasn’t her reaction but the idea that people around me saw that and might I thought that I was a weirdo or even a perv.
Anyways, I think that was the worst case scenario in term of approaches and it wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought, just a minor embarrassment really.

I'd say this is definitely a sign of progress. What remains now is to achieve the same nonchalance to what bystanders think of you as you have feel towards rejection from girls.

Many people will insist that this should be much easier, but as someone who's been in your shoes I know it isn't always so. I too used to have an inordinate fear of "what will people think." Today, that's the least of my worries. I couldn't give a fkk what people think and if anything I enjoy doing what I want with disapproving people looking on (within reason, ie I behave pretty normally, not because I feel I "have to" just because I want to, it's what feels natural and good to me). Sadly, I'm back to hating the feeling of being rejected. At this point, I wouldn't mind swapping problems with you.

 

[curiouscat]

It has been a while since my last post, I have completely stopped trying to approach girls for several months but the last 3 weeks I have tried again. I only tried to talk to girls here and there and I never tried to be to sexual but the good news is that today I was sick of it and it paid off.
I saw a girl during my lunch break and I went for it by being more direct, I didn’t expect anything and I was surprised to end up with her number ! (I just asked for her number on purpose, I don’t want to start communicating with Facebook and all this cyber crap, I want real human interactions)

Now the question is what to do ? I was thinking about calling her tomorrow to offer to see her at a café this weekend but maybe that would be to boring?

I’m still amazed how easy it was, I have also noticed that I have the best reactions from the girls I am attracted to the most.