I am finaly ready .. but i have an issue!!

[unixguy]

Whatsup everyone!!!

I have been working on getting over a bad break up and now I finaly feel like I am ready to get out there and try to get me the girl of my dreams.

I have been going out to some local clubs and trying to met some girls. I have looked and see some that I am atractive to but I have a hard time trying to aproach them.

I have finaly found out my hang up. I have always told my self that I am not going to get serouis with a girl from a bar / club. I have been there and done that and I rather have a real relationship with a specail someone then just weekend flings. But since I am not in college anymore I dont know anywhere to go to meet girls execpt a club.

How do I get past this hang up and just go for it. How do I get the confidence to talk to theese girls and not shoot them down just because I met them at a club..

Thanks

unixguy

 

[drixsa]

you read the bible, thats how

why do so few read the top right corner when first coming here?

 

[trajhenkhet]

Its not reading the bible thats a problem its seeing things for what they truly are and implementation of material digested. All of which can be done by just practice. A lot of people are concerned with results and are too worried to screw up. I can't remember if there is a section in there detailing this, but I think if its not there, someone should stick an article in their about this. I'm going to take another glance at it...

 

[trajhenkhet]

Well I didn't find what I was looking for right away but I certainly found a hell of a reason why things didn't work out between me and ex. DJBible accept no substitute.

 

[Paradox]

Originally posted by unixguy

I have finaly found out my hang up. I have always told my self that I am not going to get serouis with a girl from a bar / club. I have been there and done that and I rather have a real relationship with a specail someone then just weekend flings. But since I am not in college anymore I dont know anywhere to go to meet girls execpt a club.

How do I get past this hang up and just go for it. How do I get the confidence to talk to theese girls and not shoot them down just because I met them at a club..

Just because you meet a girl at a club doesn't mean she is a bad person. A good friend of mine met a girl at a club and married her. They brought a house together and have been married for 2 years now.

It's the quality of the woman that counts...not where you meet her.

 

[unixguy]

I read the bible. And it makes sense. Trust me without the bible there I would be 3 weeks back. And in worse shape then I am now. Its just this hang up.

Can you really attract someone that you probably know you dont want to attract? THat is what his stopping me from even trying to give club girls a chance. I need to get over this hang up just not sure hwo to go about since I have always had this mind set about going to the club and not wanting girls. But now i do.

 

[desert_dweller5]

common sense

hey use your common sense. if you do attract a nimpho just say no i want a long term relationship not just a fling. obviously that's going to be hard in a club situation but it's a good conversation to have with any girlfriend before you get in the sac with them. so use ur brain.

COMMON SENSE isn't so COMMON

 

[ManOMan]

you are shooting yourself in the foot before you even started.

What makes you think the girls you meet in clubs will want a relationship with YOU?

I dare you to even get a few phone numbers before jumping steps and thinking they want a relationship.

Secondly, going to a club with the mindset that you are ready for your next girlfriend is a lot of pressure on yourself. Most likely you will not approach women with this mindset.

Instead, go to clubs with the mindset of having fun and meeting people.

Not with a fear of meeting a girl, falling in love and making her your g/f

 

[NewMan]

Not all people in clubs are losers. Not all girls are skanks - *****es - or chciks to avoid.


There are women who go out dancing once in a while with their girlfriends for a change and a good time.

In my ecperience, what you need to do, is avoid the girls who go out clubbing 2 - 3 times a week - every week.

In general I find these girls will not change much - and are the ones to avoid. Do you really want to be out with her in clubs every Friday, saturday and XXXXday?

It's the same with the bar scene. Avoid those women that are there week in, week out.

Ease up and relax. Just go there and have fun, but with an open mind.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

What does it matter where you meet the person, you are prejudicing your thinking? The girl that you see at the grocery store; you will see in the club, the girl that you meet at school, you will see in the club; The girl that you meet at church nowadays, you meet at the club.

The girl that goes out once a month and spends 3 hours at a club, how many hours does that leave her to live her life outside of the club? Here is the formula...(31 days x 24)-3 = hours spent outside of the club per month!

It is her attitude and behavior that you should judge her by - her character and personality, and the values that she keeps are the most important factors to look for in a partner to be considered ltr material.

By mere coincidence you could bump into this perfect girl for you at a club but nowhere else. Watch her actions and behavior when she is at the club and see if she fits your profile, if she does approach and have convo - if convo is satisfactory then set something up outside the club and get to know her in a different environment.

And if you are lucky she may surprise you by telling you that she is not a 'club party girl' and that she is seeking the same kind of relationship that you are.

 

[DJnomore]

I am facing the same situation...

I am planning to get a lot of female friends....
I figure that if I meet a lot of people it will be rather easy to move up and down the socio-economic ladder towards whatever type of woman I want to end up with.

Lots of quality women are interested in political/liberal issues even if this isn't what you are into its a place to meet people.

If a woman asks what did you do last sunday a good answer is

"I am a big brother volunteer down at "location" And my little brother's name is "whiney kids name" its a great experience"

 

[coldcoal]

Originally posted by unixguy
Whatsup everyone!!!

I am ready to get out there and try to get me the girl of my dreams...but I have a hard time trying to aproach them.

Perhaps because you're looking for the woman of your dreams. Maybe you should set out to ultimately find the woman that laughs at your jokes first.

..always told my self that I am not going to get serouis with a girl from a bar / club... I rather have a real relationship with a specail someone..

Real relationship....special someone... puts it all into a blissful grandeur. But "special" is always accompanied by the things we discover about them that the publc doesn't know. Maybe this pretty, smart, funny woman's feet stink when she comes home from work. She snores and kicks in her sleep. She always throws up after eating cake. Her mother is a neuortic fruitloop. There will always be something when it's special. It's what we can deal with that makes it last.

If you cant deal with a woman who goes to bars, don't look for women in bars.

But since I am not in college anymore I dont know anywhere to go to meet girls execpt a club.

Women are everywhere. Last week I #closed on a Tuesday morning, 7:30 am, in front of a coffee machine in a gas station.

How do I get past this hang up and just go for it. How do I get the confidence to talk to theese girls and not shoot them down just because I met them at a club.

I don't understand the question. You are nexting them for being in a club, which goes against your criteria, but you're calling it a confidence issue when you do it.

1) It's possible you invented this criteria to excuse a lack of confidence. Happens all the time.

2) You don't have the confidence in women to be able to over turn this criteria of yours.

You need to tell us which one it is. Be honest.