I am fat,and it's been tough

[DJArlington]

I used to be 191 pounds back in college... I was a little overweight but not that bad. As soon as I quit smoking I ballooned in weight a few years ago. I have been working out all summer and I've still only lost like 7 pounds. I am roughly 6 feet tall and weigh about 225 pounds. Do you think my weight is ruining my game? It's definitely getting my confidence down. At least when I was 35 pounds thinner, the chicks would come up to me.

Let me know what you guys think... I'm so freakin depressed right now.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

You might be a little heavy, but it certainly doesn't sound like it's enough to affect your game. It also depends on the composition of your body. I've seen plenty of six footers around your weight, but they were running body fat percentages in the single digits.

I'm 5 inches taller than you, and about 25lbs heavier. It never affected my status with women.

 

[Delta]

hey arlington,

especially if it's messing with your confidence, it needs to be addressed. and it may not be a dealbreaker but women like hot guys. especially if you were approached before, you'd be doing yourself a HUUUUUUGE favor by taking the weight off.

and, losing weight is NOT THAT HARD! YOU CAN DO IT! primary thing is, most weight has to be lost through DIET, not working out.

you ever see the calorie charts about how many calories are lost by running for two hours... NOT THAT MUCH! but sit down to one more meal than you're supposed to have and boom, 700 calories just like that.

do a search on CALORIE CALCULATORS and find out how many calories you need to eat to MAINTAIN your body weight now. it takes calories just to stay the way you are.

eat less than that (and hopefully the amount of calories someone your height and activity level SHOULD be eating) and you start losing weight. your body simply can't keep the weight on if you're not eating enough calories. your body MUST maintain equilibrium and if you don't eat a cake every meal, your body will start changing.

also, start reading men's health, they have a LOT of good nutrition and work out info and a monthly feature about guys trying to lose weight.

stop the junk food. stop the snacking. you're not DEPRIVING yourself. you want hot chicks again and you want your confidence. this is a price to be paid. THERE IS NO I CAN'T. THERE IS ONLY EVER, HOW CAN I? for this, you know how. so do it.

and keep working out... muscle mass contributes to the calorie burn your body does when at rest. but you might end up losing a bit as you lose weight.

that's cool. don't worry about it. get your body fat down first and THEN focus on muscles.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

people get fat because they don't THINK about what they do day after day after day. very few people are actually aware of how many calories they eat. it's about being UNAWARE and an activity that persists EVERY DAY. if it's a small bad habit, every day of it will result in a huge consequence. if you make a small adjustment for the good, day after day of that wil result in huge consequence too... for the better.

become aware. and know that what you've BEEN doing is not the only way. one little change in life style and your weight will start coming off.

good luck.

delta

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I used to be 191 pounds back in college... I was a little overweight but not that bad. As soon as I quit smoking I ballooned in weight a few years ago. I have been working out all summer and I've still only lost like 7 pounds. I am roughly 6 feet tall and weigh about 225 pounds. Do you think my weight is ruining my game? It's definitely getting my confidence down. At least when I was 35 pounds thinner, the chicks would come up to me.

Let me know what you guys think... I'm so freakin depressed right now.

I have never had to deal with weight issues. However, I have had serious acne issues in the past. The idea is same. We both have had something to be really self-conscious about...especially around girls. There are two things you should do:

#1) Do something about your condition! Work out and watch your diet. I am not a weight loss expert so I cannot give you specifics. I can tell you this much though: your body is bounded by the a fundamental law known as the conservation of energy. This law states that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, only transfered. When you eat, you are transferring energy to your body which can be stored as fat. If your body uses more energy than it receives, you will lose weight. That is a scientific law. If this does not happen, bridges will collapse, power plants will explode, all hell will break loose because you will be destroying a fundamental scientific law.

As a general tip: replace refined and sugary types of foods with fruits, vegetables, and whole wheat alternatives. These foods give you a sense of being full with few calories due to all the fiber.

For my acne, I did a hell of a lot of research to find a diet that works for me. Now my acne is not nearly as bad as it once was (I am close to being clear for the first time in over 10 years). It was not easy, but I worked hard at it and you should to.

#2) I know this idea is really hard to swallow, as I myself have violated it many times: be cheery even in your undesirable state. If you are always concerned about your weight...it will show indirectly through your body language. You will come across as unhappy and others will pick up a negative vibe from you. What is often the case is that the negative/depressed attitude you may carry due to your weight issues are picked up by others (including girls) and they in turn tend to avoid you. Then you attribute this apparent rejection to your weight and you in turn become even more depressed and negative. It can be a vicious cycle. I have went through it for years.

A simple but effective method for enhancing your mood and chances with other girls is to....just smile! Look past your insecurities and bring out the happiness that you want to feel and eventually you will feel.

Chew on this: if you can't see past your weight issues, then how can others see past it?

 

[blinkwatt]

My friend who has lost weight did it this way. No working out,he stopped eating after 8 PM and drank black coffeein the morning for breakfast(kills appetite). Now he hasnt strunk to the point where people dont recognize him but every notices, "Hey did Frank lose weight?"

 

[Delta]

oh,

go for five small meals a day instead of 3 large ones. it increases your metabolism.

but look up this method before you do it! the 5 small meals look NOTHING like your standard 3!

also, BEWARE LIQUID CALORIES!!! a soda is like 200 calories a can! RIDICULOUS! also fruit drinks are not free either. so either go diet soda or go water. no more non diet drinks.

try to cut sugar - refined starches. white bread as the previous poster said... big GLYCEMIC LOAD (look it up)that slows down your metabolism. also, you want to go for LOW DENSITY FOODS (some foods pack a TON of calories into a small package - you don't want that! you want foods that have very low calories with lots of mass to fill you up - oatmeal and fruit/vegetables are good).

seriously man, www.menshealth.com ...

delta

 

[DJArlington]

i have man boobs - that's how bad it is. i will definitely take a look at my calorie intake. do you think the man boobs are hurting my game? can confidence overcome manboobs, i guess that's the question?

 

[DJDamage]

can confidence overcome manboobs, i guess that's the question?

No, but getting rid of man boobs and getting in shape will naturally increase your confidence.

 

[Delta]

i'll bet there are many who would say that it IS possible to get the hottest chicks in the world with DD manbreasts.

but why?

yes, be as CONFIDENT AS YOU CAN RIGHT NOW, warts and all. and realize that NONE OF USE are perfect. that is something that is never said in the self-help inspired DJ community. we're not perfect. we're not all brad pitt in fight club, we're not all jet setters, we're not all harley riding super men who eat nails for snacks.

you're not perfect. and that's fine. don't let it EVER dissuade you.

but changing your body is really a life changing kinda thing. i'm not super buff now but i went from being skinny to getting muscles i've never seen on myself before and it really does make you feel better about yourself. also, it becomes a little project - hey, i got some of these muscles, what are they? oh, they're called lattissimus dorsei are they... interesting. i still have a bit of flesh under my belly button, let's reduce belly fat (that means just cutting body fat, THERE IS NO SUCH THING OUTSIDE OF SURGERY AS "SPOT REDUCTION") and get the abs to shine a bit more... ah, there they are.

the added testosterone and changed body chemistry makes you JUST FEEL BETTER for free.

i'm a thinker but i've come to realize that not all paper bags can be thought out of. sometimes, just a physical change will do it.

the question is WHY LIVE WITH MAN BOOBS IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
this last part is NOT ESSENTIAL to getting women... there are lesser men everywhere who get plenty of chicks and i want to state that unequivocally - unlike many of the gurus here.

but part of becoming a fully realized man is to just go for what you want in life. not letting all the excuses and obstacles (and there are always plenty legitimate ones) bog you down. just identify what you want and devote your energy to it until you get it. haha, watch COLLATERAL with tom cruise and jaimie foxx... great message.

your body is a nice little microcosm to that idea.

if your body is not exactly as you want it, what's stopping you from getting the body you want?

go for it.

also realize that 90% of the world doesn't live like this. in a sense, it is kinda self-help bs. but then again, 90% of the world is ORDINARY, not extraordinary....

but something like a strong, lean body is doable. so try for it.

delta

 

[markjames]

can confidence overcome manboobs, i guess that's the question?

Laugh out loud, yes confidence will overcome manboobs. I've seen some 300lbs fatass get tons of chicks. I'm right around the same height/weight and I've never felt better about my physical appearence. It DOES'NT MATTER to me what ANYONE THINKS.

 

[Delta]

oh, and full disclosure - so my body fat percentage is pretty low, muscular, lean...

BUT

i don't do very well with women... not so much that i'm not good with them but i hardly ever meet any and broke up with the girl i was seeing at work....

so there you go.

but it's still worth it for its own sake and health if you ask me.

delta

 

[The_411]

Here it goes

Arlington,

I coach high school wrestling (yes good way to build one self by being a role model)

so I know quite a bit about working out and dietary needs.

Rule #1 Everyone is different so you can jsut do what your buddy does and you'll get the same results.

Rule #2 Diet matters in more ways than one. First when you eat is important.

Don't eat after 10pm your body's metalbolism slows down when your getting ready to sleep.

Eat Breakfast. Your body won't start burning until you eat your first meal.

Just as important is what you are eating.

The no-no items are as follows:

Ice Cream
Sodas
Chips
Cheese
junk food of any type

Basically the best way to cut bad calroies or get rid of the weight is to cut down on sugars,salts, and fats. Increase your protein intake and lower your carb intake until you're exercising enough that you need those carbs.

 

[typical]

3 words:

Ron. F'ucking. Jeremy.

Dude ron gets paid to have sex with women he would never be able to pickup in real life, he's a loser that has a big **** and gets paid to have sex with girls, wow nice role model there.

The dude cant even do what he wants he gets told by the director what to do what position when to come, thats plain lame.

Now for the guy who said he's fat, then do something about it whining about it wont do any good.

 

[typical]

Yes but lets put you and Ron in a bar with some guys and girls, yes everyone there will know who Ron is but the hottie that your gaming wont go for him cause you look better and know how to vibe it up with her. Ever seen Ron in a public place the dude seems nervous unless he has some porno chick on his arms.

So what if ron is having sex with heaps on girls check your local bar 10 bucks says theres a hottie there that looks better then them porno chicks that you can hook up with.

And if your so caught up on the fact he's having so much sex as a pron star why dont you consider a change of career.

 

[Delta]

"semi-religious"?!

wow, that's cruisin' for the "worst of all worlds" bruisin' ain't it?

delta

 

[Delta]

hey no offense meant,

just a thought that semi-religion brings all the guilt but none of the comfort.... anyhoo, right, back to the topic at hand.

delta

 

[Fash]

DJArlington,

I'm sure you've seen my FRs and are aware that I do relatively well with women. So let me tell you a little about my self.

I'm 5'10 (so not that tall) I have lost most of my hair (So i'm pretty much bald). I have quite a big belly so I am by no means slim. I have a hairy chest AND a hairy back.

So I guess you can say that I'm a bald, fat and hairy guy. Yet... how do I manage to pick up so many women?

Ok here it is:

1. I dress well. Almost everything I wear is designer and I pay attention to what I wear with what and how it looks on me.

2. I am always well groomed. I keep my hair short, so my baldness is less visible.

3. I ALWAYS smell nice. Smell is so so so important.

4. I wear designer jewlery which are great converstion openners.

5. I implement game. I put alot of the discussions on this site and other reading material to the test. I'm always out there, trying different thing, improving.

So I guess what I'm saying is that it doesnt matter how fat/thin/tall/short you are. All that matters is how you carry your self and how confident you are in your appearance.

If you are not comfortable with your self, others wont be with you either. When you have the confident, I dont give a sh!t attitude, women sense it and guess what!?!?! they are attracted to the alpha male who is sure of him self.

So go out there and pick up some women! Be confident in who you are and your worth.

 

[squirrels]

Stop trying to LOSE weight...start trying to GAIN the GOOD weight. Put some lean muscle mass on and let the resting metabolism of those muscles burn your fat off while you sleep.

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

Squirrles is right. When you lose weight, your body retains its basic shape, you just end up with a smaller version.

When you change the composition of your body, you actually change the shape and demensions. This is what you're looking for.

 

[Gonzalo]

I'm overweight, and I can pull in a bar, while many meatheads simply stare away, afraid to approach.

Look at Lovedrop, for crying out loud.

You have *NO* excuse not to put the work in simply because you have the limiting belief that your looks are way too detrimental.

Get some nice clothes on, a good haircut, good cologne, and get out there and do the newbie mission.

It's all in your head