Nutz
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2008
- Messages
- 1,584
- Reaction score
- 72
I usually give advice, so asking for it is a little weird. I guess this was bound to happen sooner or later though.
About a month or so ago I met a woman at a meetup.com bar crawl. We hit it off, made out a bit, and decided to keep in touch. We went out the following Friday for dinner and drinks, and we talked about what we wanted right now. We both are coming out of long term relationships and just want something that's not serious and we agreed it wasn't a date and we were just "hanging out". We should have hooked up, but I forgot I took cold medicine and had too much to drink and was really tired (in a bad way). Despite what we called it, it was still a traditional date. We hugged, and kept in touch throughout the week, and I met her and her friend the following Friday at a bar/club. Similar thing from the first time we met: grinding, kissing, etc. Things aren't serious and it's just light and fun. Tonight I picked her up and we did the bar crawl thing again. Maybe I mistook the situation, but I figured that tonight would be us "hanging out" since I picked her up and was in theory her ride back (and if we clicked and did our thing we'd be hooking up since that's usually how it all goes). So we get to the first bar and we're both social butterflies. She's off doing her thing and I did mine. I didn't want to hover or make her feel like I was oppressing her or anything. I think what she had in mind was she wanted to go to "hang out" with one of the other guys at the bar that she'd met at one of the earlier bar crawls. Since we're not actually dating I figured she'd be setting something up for later in the week like I was going. No big deal. I'm not sure how things changed, but at some point when we were at the next to last bar I think she got jealous of me flirting with other girls and getting a few kisses and numbers. She wasn't kissing guys, but she was blatantly flirting and rubbing her ass up against guys (not dancing, just backs up to them and rubs them to get their attention) and stuff liek that. It was almost like a battle of who could flirt harder. I guess I won, even though I wasn't playing. Fast forward and hour or so later and we're at the last bar where everyone is dancing. Keep in mind it was me, her, another woman I'm NOT interested in, and the guy she's interested in. We were the only people from the bar crawl to make it over to this bar/club to dance. I was sorta limited in who I could interact with since the rest of the group hadn't made it over yet. So I get uncomfortable and didn't want to make her feel the same so I go downstairs. Not long after the women I'd met earlier show up and we all get a table. My friend also shows up who was taking part and he goes upstairs not realizing I was downstairs.
Now this is where I need help figuring out since this is where things go pear shaped... I texted him and he comes downstairs and tells me to just delete her number and forget her. I asked why and I guess I figured she must have been about to hook up with the guy she was dancing with like I figured we would be. He was up there for a while and finally comes down and tells me to delete her number and forget about her. However, he didn't say what she actually said or did. A while later she comes down wondering if I'm coming up and we get talking. I told her we're just friends, blah blah blah, and whatever happens I'm fine. I really don't care (since I do after all have a table of girls to entertain). She assures me that if I want to go she can just get a cab (and I'm thinking, no she'll just get a ride with whoever she's hooking up with). I don't care, but I told her I'd hang out if she needs a ride since my friend is drunk and can't drive anyway. Well, lo and behold my friend finally decides to tell me what happened upstairs. Basically she was dancing and grinding with any guy that would give her attention (and was giving the guy from earlier the cold shoulder) and she started to grind on my friend and he stopped her and asked "What about Nutz?" She told him "Nutz is a loser". What the hell?! 5 minutes ago she was asking me to come upstairs and seeing what I was gonna do about the drive home. Was she jealous, HPD, or something else? I just don't get it this time.
Well, karma bit her in the ass because she dropped her phone when she was getting some random guy's phone number and it cracked the shell and basically exploded. However, I forgot about this and when I finally got my friend squared away I tried to see if she still needed a ride. Yes, despite what was said, I'm not going to leave her hanging like that. However, like I said, I forgot the phone was toast and figured the silence meant she was too busy with someone else to bother getting back to me and so I left, and felt rather justified since she did say that about me to my friend no less.
So I'm sure there will be some fallout from this down the road. I'm inclined to just drop her completely, but then on the other hand she'll probably think I got jealous or something and will likely blame the booze and say she doesn't remember saying that (or actually not remember). Regardless, I like her, when she lets he guard down we click really well, but she's so wrapped up in her head that it gets in the way of the mutual attraction. Overall though I think she's just an attention * * * * * and wants to go through as many guys as possible and somehow I got caught in the middle because I like her a lot more than I probably should.
About a month or so ago I met a woman at a meetup.com bar crawl. We hit it off, made out a bit, and decided to keep in touch. We went out the following Friday for dinner and drinks, and we talked about what we wanted right now. We both are coming out of long term relationships and just want something that's not serious and we agreed it wasn't a date and we were just "hanging out". We should have hooked up, but I forgot I took cold medicine and had too much to drink and was really tired (in a bad way). Despite what we called it, it was still a traditional date. We hugged, and kept in touch throughout the week, and I met her and her friend the following Friday at a bar/club. Similar thing from the first time we met: grinding, kissing, etc. Things aren't serious and it's just light and fun. Tonight I picked her up and we did the bar crawl thing again. Maybe I mistook the situation, but I figured that tonight would be us "hanging out" since I picked her up and was in theory her ride back (and if we clicked and did our thing we'd be hooking up since that's usually how it all goes). So we get to the first bar and we're both social butterflies. She's off doing her thing and I did mine. I didn't want to hover or make her feel like I was oppressing her or anything. I think what she had in mind was she wanted to go to "hang out" with one of the other guys at the bar that she'd met at one of the earlier bar crawls. Since we're not actually dating I figured she'd be setting something up for later in the week like I was going. No big deal. I'm not sure how things changed, but at some point when we were at the next to last bar I think she got jealous of me flirting with other girls and getting a few kisses and numbers. She wasn't kissing guys, but she was blatantly flirting and rubbing her ass up against guys (not dancing, just backs up to them and rubs them to get their attention) and stuff liek that. It was almost like a battle of who could flirt harder. I guess I won, even though I wasn't playing. Fast forward and hour or so later and we're at the last bar where everyone is dancing. Keep in mind it was me, her, another woman I'm NOT interested in, and the guy she's interested in. We were the only people from the bar crawl to make it over to this bar/club to dance. I was sorta limited in who I could interact with since the rest of the group hadn't made it over yet. So I get uncomfortable and didn't want to make her feel the same so I go downstairs. Not long after the women I'd met earlier show up and we all get a table. My friend also shows up who was taking part and he goes upstairs not realizing I was downstairs.
Now this is where I need help figuring out since this is where things go pear shaped... I texted him and he comes downstairs and tells me to just delete her number and forget her. I asked why and I guess I figured she must have been about to hook up with the guy she was dancing with like I figured we would be. He was up there for a while and finally comes down and tells me to delete her number and forget about her. However, he didn't say what she actually said or did. A while later she comes down wondering if I'm coming up and we get talking. I told her we're just friends, blah blah blah, and whatever happens I'm fine. I really don't care (since I do after all have a table of girls to entertain). She assures me that if I want to go she can just get a cab (and I'm thinking, no she'll just get a ride with whoever she's hooking up with). I don't care, but I told her I'd hang out if she needs a ride since my friend is drunk and can't drive anyway. Well, lo and behold my friend finally decides to tell me what happened upstairs. Basically she was dancing and grinding with any guy that would give her attention (and was giving the guy from earlier the cold shoulder) and she started to grind on my friend and he stopped her and asked "What about Nutz?" She told him "Nutz is a loser". What the hell?! 5 minutes ago she was asking me to come upstairs and seeing what I was gonna do about the drive home. Was she jealous, HPD, or something else? I just don't get it this time.
Well, karma bit her in the ass because she dropped her phone when she was getting some random guy's phone number and it cracked the shell and basically exploded. However, I forgot about this and when I finally got my friend squared away I tried to see if she still needed a ride. Yes, despite what was said, I'm not going to leave her hanging like that. However, like I said, I forgot the phone was toast and figured the silence meant she was too busy with someone else to bother getting back to me and so I left, and felt rather justified since she did say that about me to my friend no less.
So I'm sure there will be some fallout from this down the road. I'm inclined to just drop her completely, but then on the other hand she'll probably think I got jealous or something and will likely blame the booze and say she doesn't remember saying that (or actually not remember). Regardless, I like her, when she lets he guard down we click really well, but she's so wrapped up in her head that it gets in the way of the mutual attraction. Overall though I think she's just an attention * * * * * and wants to go through as many guys as possible and somehow I got caught in the middle because I like her a lot more than I probably should.