Hypothetical question, Ex wishing you happy birthday

[an_old_rusty_master]

Ok it has been way too long now really for my likeing, but 6 months on from me coming out of my 6 years relationship that suddenly ended for another (a millionaire dwarf, nearly 20 years older I think, yuk!).

Well anyway my question is this, It is my Birthday coming up soon and I just want to know, in the scenario that my ex either a) calls b)emails and wishes me a happy birthday, or c) does nothing, what do you people recommend?
Me and my ex have been like goldfishes swiming around a small bowel with me taking pot shots at her for everything and her taking it and still insisting we should still stay friends and hang out together.
She must be a glutton for punishment because you name it I have said it and thrown it over how let down I felt and embarresed by her choice of person over me.

Until recently, where I decided to jump out of the bowel into the sea so to speak, I emailed to say I do not hate him, I don't want to hit him and I no longer feel the victim and I wish them well.
She was pro-active for the first time in 6 months the other day and sent a friendly joke email and signed it with kisses, I did not reply and neither do I intend to. I really have had enough of it and want to move onwards, she has put me through hell in my mind and I am through with it all.
I don't want to be friends, I really don't think she deserves my time and company. I would just add to her ego I believe.


Hmmm, now what would Mr Don Juan do, that's if it is his real name.

 

[WestCoaster]

Once again with feeling ...

... move the frick on! Please, do not call her, do not contact her, do not do anything. If she sends you a present, accept it and say thanks and that is it. Quit hanging on, be a DJ and date others. Being friends doesn't work, period, unless you were always friends and not lovers. You can't be lovers and then friends -- maybe in a dumb hollywood movie -- but not in real life.

Read all the posts about ex's here ... give me ONE good reason why you should be in any contact with her.

Move on, please be a man and move on.

What any Don Juan would do is move on.

* Is there a part in the DJ Bible about walking away and staying away from ex's? If not, there should be. I'm about ready to write one, Rollo can be my co-author. All the ex stuff around here is mind boggling.

 

[DJDamage]

Why would you care what she does?

She is your ex, you have banished her out of your world and so did she.

Everything you two had means nothing now. She choose and took a different path in her life and you should do the same.

Let her go and don't give a fvck what she does. I would ignore her calls or emails and her wanting to be "friends" because its all bullsh1t.

Djdamage

 

[hithard]

The life that you knew is gone.Stop trying to hold onto her in a bad attempt to grasp what you had.It will never be the same.You will be in Limbo for as long as you allow yourself to be around her.Cut the contact.

 

[penkitten]

well you should act totally surprized because you should not be thinking about her calling you out of the blue to say happy birthday.
which leads us to this , do you miss her and secretly want her to wish you a happy birthday. its totally ok and normal if you do.
when we have birthdays and get a little older, we want others we care about to stop and recognize our special day.
the horrible part is, if you sit and think of what ifs , when there is no call from her, how disappointed will you be?
please dont set yourself up for disappointment, theres enough of that with this ex already.

just take a moment and reflect and then shake it off. you cant get caught up in "what might happens "

 

[simple_wish]

You are no longer together therefore you should not expect anything from her and either should she of you.

My Ex called me on my bday had I known her number from work I wouldn't of answered it...that's what voicemail is for.

I partied like a madman the night before and I was late for work I answered the phone and she wished me happy bday..I thanked her for the call and told her it was nice of her. She then proceeded to question me as I sounded like a bag of Sh** I told her I went out and had a good time the night before and then cut the conversation short and told her that I had to rush to work.

Done and done. It's time to reclaim your balls sir..go out and have fun and not worry about the past. This helped me a lot!

:woo:

 

[redline]

my guess - she feels bad for dumping you for this guy, but not so bad she would want to come back to you, and is trying to validate herself by staying friends with you. its all about her, not about you. and between sending you emails, guess whos **** shes got her tongue wrapped around.



btw- its not the dwarf from austin powers by any chance? he looks *mean*

 

[jefe96]

You're only anticipating a call/email, but it hasn't happened yet. As someone else mentioned you must secretly be hoping for it to happen. Who cares, move on. This same exact thing just happened to me this year. The ex and I finally decided to end things for good after 9 years of an on again/off again relationship. I moved to a different state. No communication for about 3 months and then bam I get an email from her last month wishing me happy b-day. The good thing is that I'm involved with someone else at the moment who is wonderful so I was able to brush off the email. Even if you aren't in a situation where you can just totally forget about it, the best thing to do is just hit delete. Don't keep the email or voicemail, it will only agonize you more and prevent you from finding someone else who is better. So if she does email or call or send you a card, the best thing to do is to delete the email, read the card and throw it away, and don't answer the phone call.

 

[an_old_rusty_master]

my guess - she feels bad for dumping you for this guy, but not so bad she would want to come back to you, and is trying to validate herself by staying friends with you. its all about her, not about you. and between sending you emails, guess whos **** shes got her tongue wrapped around.

No, I don' think it's that, she has tried so hard to keep me there as a friend, most probally as she has said in a previous email, because I am so cool and funny, which ironically, I am.
No she has tried to get me to go to parties and stuff but I have said since day one of us splitting I don't want to know. As for her tongue being wrapped around someones ****, well that stuff don't really effect me too much as we had been to swinger event for attractive people under 40 a year before we had split, and I have seen all that. What bothered me really was how I, as in me and who I am, was discarded so easily like rubbish after a whole 6 years for someone she did not even know at all, and expected me to keep in the picture still. And that I did not know who my rival was or looked like until recently and he turns out to be a very very short guy 18 years older with teenage kids. It was just so unflattering and now for someone you thought you really knew, to turn just like that so quckly is pretty damn scary. She was asking me to get life insurance before we split, now I wonder if she was planning to kill me. I did ask her that actually, just needed to settle my mind, you know, just in case.
I did ask her why a dwarf too, but she went to his castle crying and said she feels really sorry for me (for being an a**hole) and went off going boohoo stay in boohoo touch.

In which I have decided to really not bother any more, but yes my birthday is coming up and I just wondered how you handle something like that if you are moving on with your life, with out looking like you are ,upset, angry, hurt, whatever.

I am expecting an email as it is the year of the 1sts, 1st Bday with out 1st Christmas with out, however if I get no email I would be supprised but thank my lucky stars it allowing me not putting me in the predicament of appearing rude.

And now a week later I get a joke email as if trying to smooth over that evening I blurted out what her friends could not say.
And I have refused to reply.

 

[simple_wish]

like others have mentioned she is wanting to keep you as friends for sheer afirmation that she made the best decision

By keeping in touch it hinder's one's chance to heel all wounds.

Even if she does call or write..don't look too much into it. This will spark many feelings and it could potentially ruin your day.

 

[an_old_rusty_master]

like others have mentioned she is wanting to keep you as friends for sheer afirmation that she made the best decision
Even if she does call or write..don't look too much into it. This will spark many feelings and it could potentially ruin your day

Your right, I won't, she has done way too much, it's all bullsh*t,
it is really weird in hindsight how my best most mentally stable, intelligent Girlfriend out of the many I have had, including longterms turned out the to be the worst ex, by being the most disrespectful, cold, insensitive, two faced ever.

It has been this that has been for too long my weakness, trying to adjust my usually polite, happy, jokey manner to that of someone who does not have the time for her and is not intersted in her.

 

[an_old_rusty_master]

NOT IN THE DJ BIBLE, Can anyone explain

Why if you split with a woman, sometimes they try to impress you or believe you will be impressed and share their enthusiasm with their catch or new boyfriend and his toys, just like a cat will leave a dead mouse on you doorstep.

I have experienced this before and I have always wondered what goes through a womans head when they do this.

Do they hope you will want to f*** him up the a** because he is so great or something?

It's weird.

 

[[o_0]]

dude why do you care. shes ex. if she does or not, **** it. get the next slut to have sex with. pzzzzzz

 

[Ricky]

Re: NOT IN THE DJ BIBLE, Can anyone explain

Originally posted by an_old_rusty_master
Why if you split with a woman, sometimes they try to impress you or believe you will be impressed and share their enthusiasm with their catch or new boyfriend and his toys, just like a cat will leave a dead mouse on you doorstep.

I have experienced this before and I have always wondered what goes through a womans head when they do this.

Do they hope you will want to f*** him up the a** because he is so great or something?

It's weird.

This is brilliant. LOL. Now my ex doesn't say anything at all about her personal life anymore. Maybe she isnt catching any dead mice. But either way i'm done with her. She still holds a grudge from the way I got angry after the breakup. **** her.

 

[DJDamage]

Re: NOT IN THE DJ BIBLE, Can anyone explain

Originally posted by an_old_rusty_master
Why if you split with a woman, sometimes they try to impress you or believe you will be impressed and share their enthusiasm with their catch or new boyfriend and his toys, just like a cat will leave a dead mouse on you doorstep.

I have experienced this before and I have always wondered what goes through a womans head when they do this.

When you break up with a woman especially on bad terms they only like to keep in touch with you if you are living life worse then they are.

Call it sadistic if you will, but they get great pleasure knowing that they get the upper hand in the end of it all. They will keep tabs on you and let you know how well they are doing and if they see that this is hurting you, then they have achieved their goal.

After all the best revenge is living well.

DjDamage

 

[an_old_rusty_master]

Can't believe it, well I can really, I have ignored another email, now like I said this is 6 months on and she has been with her fella this long too, but yes I get an email again today as part of a group email that includes 6 others mainly close family and close friends who she sees every night, one of which is her latest boyfriend, to say she is changing jobs and not to use her what is now, old work email, now how about that?. Why email her boyfrind this for a start? surly he knows she is changing jobs and does not need to email her at that old work address, and why include me at the same time in the email? buuha ha ha haaa haa. And guess who is not answering ever. Women can be fcuking crazy idiots, it is incredible the dumb lengths they really goto to be desired and get attention.

This email was so transparent to indirectly test if I was still alive.
I am now so ready for another relationship with a pretty women and not out of revenge too, It is not a case of if, it is a case of when now.

 

[simple_wish]

back to my response

Like I said before:

Don't look into anything anymore regarding any contact.

That email is to let you know...I'm moving on! Maybe to a better job...who knows.....or better yet....WHO CARES!

If I had a dollar for every email I received from my ex i.e: Moving new phone number, internship is done going back to school...all I did was delete it.

Live your life and not worry about hers.

 

[an_old_rusty_master]

Just to let you all know this ex is real history, I have developed a real crush on another chick at the moment and she really is something else, I can't stop thinking about this new girl, honestly she is full on model potential and she has a real warm air around her and we cannot help hugging each other everytime we meet up. She is everything, I just need to take it to the next level and then I am there. and if anyone brings up ex I will say ex who. My feeling sreally have died there I tell you. It is like you just wake up one morning and see there is a whole world out there undescovered and should not be wasted on those who do not deserve your company.

 

[joekerr31]

amen to that.

i've continued to say the only power a woman has over you is what you give her. and she knows she can only get you to turn over your power through seduction.

which is why the worst thing you can do to a woman is to turn your back on her powers of seduction.

this is why NEXT works so well. it impowers you and leaves her not knowing what hit her.

J

 

[an_old_rusty_master]

by "ingoring" a girl, you are telling her that your emotions for her are soo strong, you can't be around her.. I mean

No, I think it's more of moving on, I am one of them people who has to abondan the past to move forward. I abandoned the small town I grew up in and all my old school friends in order to progress. Sure I visit family there a few times a year but that is as far as it goes.

I feel if you hang around the past, you can end up staying in the past.

Besides all my exs remind me of all what is supposedly wrong with me. All my failures whether I ended it or they did.

I have a lot of friends in my life already too many for an ex to become one, especially an ex who tells me she has no underwear on when she is with her new boyfriend, I mean I don't want to know sh*t like that!! Why she tell me that?

And besides its hard to talk to her seeing her off her face on drink acting an idiot because she never used to be.

The other problem with hanging out or staying friends with an ex is that you can soon look like to others like that mopey ex that just can't let go, making the new boyfriend either jealous and insecure or feeling like possess something of high importance that you cannot have.

Nope back to this crush, boy have I got it bad, I can't stop thinking about this girl, I ain't been like this about someone for about 15 years, it's really weird.