Hurtful Breakup

[Tricksy]

So my GF broke up with me last friday. We where together for a year and half. What makes things worse is the fact that i moved to her town to be with her. Crazy I know, but at the time i was blinded by love.

We always got on great and had the most amazing times together. But the past month she started acting weird. Started acting really cold and emotionally distant. Started to talk about "The real world" Everytime I was talking about my day dreams. Getting more angrier at me and less patient with me.

Now I know the only thing I did wrong was that I was "Too Available" We would see each other everyday. So there was no way she was cheating because we was always with each other. If she did cheat then her friends would of told me because they where more my friends then hers. So i ruled that out.

And then she broke up with me. Pure coldness. It hurt the hell out of me and I had a day on my own and I didn't know what to do with myself. But she came back and apologized and got with me, and i took her back in open arms like a loser.

Yet, this time she was more argumentitive and more "insecure" about her looks. And you may laugh at this but this started to happen when she began watching "Sex and The City" constantly.

On friday I just couldn't bear to see her in pain. She told me "There is something wrong with me, i don't know what it is but im thinking about things."

So I said lets talk about this but she said "No i dont think i want to be with you anymore... but i do"

I couldn't take this. So I let her go. It was hard to do. But i had to do it because I couldn't bare to see her in pain. I let her go because she wasn't happy with me. I set her free and it hurt like ****. She didnt seem fazed that I let her go. Inside I was hurt like **** but i kept it in. She helped me pack my bags and I went back to my town.

3 days later i get a phone call from her. "Dont you ever speak to me again, what you did was unacceptable, your a bastard and i hope you die"

I kept my pain in. I just said "I understand" and i put the phone down.

Now we havent spoke since. It hurts like **** because we where great together and then within a month SNAP completely different person. I don't think it was because i was AFC because I have "some" game. I did rea the DJ bible when i was active here in 2004, when Pook was around. But now i feel like ive lost my game, is this normal?

I'll be honest, it hurts worser that she said "your a bastard and i hope you die"

And now because I moved to a different town, I lost all contact with my friends. I got 0 here. I've try rekindling but "Nothing" So i have no friends here but family.

I find myself for some odd reason, checking her myspace page, i cant help it. And Today i was getting "Join my vampire clan" messages from her, so i got annoyed and out of anger said "How the **** do i delete your comments" She didn't respond and so realizing what i said i mssaged her again "Ahh done it now, just kept getting alot of comments from you"

Right now, I'm hurting because I feel like I have nothing. I hit rock bottom. No friends (not exagerating here, its not like i didnt try rekindling)

I had to give up the love of my life. I would take her back in a heart beat but something in me just says "NOOO, you're worth more then that"

So am at a crossroads here guys.

Thanks for reading

-Tricksy

 

[Tricksy]

ok i deleted all photos, all comments on myspace, has harsh as it sounds all evidence that she was ever in my life

This is gonna be hard

 

[VIVAlasVEGASBaby]

"Dont you ever speak to me again, what you did was unacceptable, your a bastard and i hope you die"

What you did was unacceptable to her because YOU did it. She wasn't done screwing with you, which is why she came back, and she was upset that she didn't get to land the final blow to your self-esteem. She did all this to BOOST HER OWN SELF-ESTEEM.

You absolutely did the right thing.

Whatever you do, do not talk to this "woman". Anyone who actually gave a damn about you would have talked to you maturely about what they were feeling. They WOULD NOT HAVE BEHAVED LIKE THIS.

Just about every guy here has gone through what you have gone through. Take a few days or weeks or whatever you need off and sit on your couch and watch movies or whatever else the hell it is you want to do, but at some point decide for yourself to get stronger from this. Try to go out and meet new friends, hit the gym and get on a diet, etc.

Mourn whatever it is you THOUGHT you had, and eventually start realizing that what you actually had was very different.

Read lots of the threads on the forum about break ups, cheaters, branch swingers and everything else. They'll help you kill some time and get your mind off things. Good Luck

 

[Igetit!]

My goodness dude! Boy,that must have been painful. It hurt me just to read it,so I can just imagine what you're going through. Man,she said that she hopes you die? And you'd"take her back in a heartbeat"? Dude,that's twisted.
I'm been dumped before,and yeah,it hurts man,one of the worst pains ever,but to be told that she hopes you die,that a new low.

I've seen this a thousand times. I already know what happened in the relatonship. You started off fine,things were great,then all of the sudden her behavior started to change. She stopped hanging out with you,and whenever you tried to spend time with her,she made excuse after excuse,saying things that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. No more intimacy/sex,gave you bogus excuses for that as well. Acted just plain weird and illogical,and not the "normal" illogical that women usually exihibit.

The more and more you tried to be nice and made things better for the two of you,the worst things got. The happier you tried to make her,the more angrier she became.

Because you're still dealing with the pain,right now,you're thinking with you emotions,and for a man,THAT'S BAD.

I can already see you making bad decisions because you said that you're at a crossroads. There shouldn't be any crossroad,she ended the relationship,so you simply need to move on. I HATE to down or talk about people,but dude,your ex seem like a COLD person man. All the things she did in the relationship,plus that comment about "hoping you die" were bad enough.
But now she's you these "join my vampire messages" as well? And you fell right into her trap!

She's only causing you more pain,and SHE KNOWS IT. Getting stabbed in the back is one thing,but she's standing there for another 5 or 10 minutes twisting the knife,to make sure it's painful. All of this,and you'd still take her back. Wow.

Well,listen man. If you decide that you want to move on from thiis nonsense,there is a LOT of info here that can here you,and a LOT of members here with good advice to help guide you through this.

Good luck man.

 

[pingpongz]

Was in the exact same situation a couple months back.

Are you having any feelings like you want to get back with her or feeling that there still may be a chance?

If so you need to call her up and say something like "Look... we ended on bad terms, i left you not because i didn't still love you but because you clearly lost interest in me and i wanted you to be happy."

If you still want to get back with her (which probally alot of people will advise against and say "plenty more fish" etc etc) then you should follow on by saying something like "I do still care about you, and havn't stopped thinking about you since we broke up... maybe we could meet up for a chat sometime?"

To get over my ex.. i waited for her to call me and when she did told her exactly what i thought about what she had done and that she is a complete *****. Basically i made her hate me so i knew there would be no chance of ever getting back together and i could then move on.


Regarding the friends situation.. Theres not much advice i can offer as finding male friends is especially hard.
Try joining sports teams etc ... but what i found helpful myself when i moved to a new city and knew noone was internet dating sites. Meet up with a few girls off them and meet all their friends and eventually you will have your own network.

Feel free to pm me if you want to ask anything..

 

[aix237]

Dude I've been there. Same sh1t feeling sorry for herself and not happy. To me that sh1t is a turn off and is draining.don't try to give advice just listen. Sh1t was great then cold for no reason. Would fight etc. Then shje would say I need space blah blah. Think it was because she was hurt by something and wanted someone else to feel her misery. I would try to talk and she would refuse to fix it. I would say fine and walk away. She would call a couple days later and we would fix things. I lived with her then she got called one day like really cold. She refused to talk. She went out I packed my sh1t up and moved out of town that night. We talked like a day later. She seemed ok I guess but I know deep down inside she was hurting.

Fast forward two years later which is today. For the last month we have been hanging out again for the first time in two years. We talked about the break up. She said she was all fvcked up after the break up, I told her cause she was cold and refused to fix things. She blamed me for leaving, don't think she thought I would.

Now she is almost the same but has chilled out. But shell still out of the blue act distant and say she doesn't want a ltr then shell say she wants one but is scared etc. She wants me to react and see if I care and praise her to boost her self esteem and or bring me down. I tell her to quit being an idiot and im done. When im about to leave she stops me it hits her then. I tell her if u don't decide ill decide for u. That's what u did and she didn't like the outcome. U didn't act needy and left her. Her se is hurtin cause u did. U made her feel stupid cause she is and she realized that. She was trying to break u down cause she feels low and doesn't want to be the only one feeling like that. Fvck that and fvck her. U gotta a better life than her maybe that hurts her. I say to my girl ex whatever she is, I know I got a lot going for me and if u don't wanna appreciate it and be a part of it ill find someone else cause its not that hard cause I got a lot of sh1t to offer. She says I know u do. Then she shuts her mouth. Same thing with ur situation.

 

[Prodigy746]

I dont know how old you are but if you are under 23-24 you should be happy that you have a chance to be single and meet so many more women. You need to go out and talk to every girl you see, go do some hobbies to get your mind off her.

 

[AKA FLEX]

I dont know how old you are but if you are under 23-24 you should be happy that you have a chance to be single and meet so many more women. You need to go out and talk to every girl you see, go do some hobbies to get your mind off her.

Great advice here. Your game is going to be diminished at first if you just got out of a long relationship and haven't used it, just like your strength would be diminished upon re-entering the gym for the first time after a long hiatus.

However, it comes back VERY quickly once you get out there and start sarging at every opportunity you get.

Also, NEVER move to a different city just to be with a girl unless you are engaged, married, or it's somewhere you would have moved anyway.

 

[slickaz]

dude..STFU,man up, put yo head up high and walk back into your town..call your boys up..every dude in here has been in that spot..so welcome..

i tell you what no matter how many times you leave..your boys will always take you back...all you gotta do is call em and say you're back in town..now you've got friends...

get a job.
go to the gym.
switch back to 'game' mode
go out to have fun..


about your girl:
Yes you did the right thing.

girls are wierd, theyre not wired like us.
she did what she did because all women do the exact same thing when theyre feeling down about themselves..

Their Definition of SELF ESTEEM comes from everywhere else except their SELF!..you shouldve told her its called SELF ESTEEM B!TCH! Esteem of your muhfukn SELF!! i cant change it for you..its a SELF THING!!!

but no, women see that she's fat, or ugly or stupid or useless..so she'll naturally blame you..because of you!
its the same when some guys turn to their baby mama's and say "because of you and this kid, i have wasted my life!!" only in that situation, it is kinda true.lol.

anyway what im saying is, she has a problem in her head and she thought she could fix it by getting rid of you, she may have gone out and tried to sleep around, and maybe that didnt work, so the next day she watched carrie and the sex and the city girls (who have singlehandendly RUINED the women of today around the world) and gone..im ugly!! coz i dont have that cavali dress and Milano shoes..i need a man to hold me..oooh i know!!! ill call Tricksy!!!! he's always ready to hug and kiss me and tell me how hot i am..

next day..its back to oh yeh im back to being fukd up again..and i dont wanna have tricksy around...bye bye tricksy..


She called you to say that " you're a bastard and you die"..because...you left..shes mad..she couldnt have the last say..and now!! you;re not around her for her to come running to when she needs to be told how pretty she is..she probably stayed up all night mad at herself that you walked away..and trying to use reverse psych on you..
you didnt fall for it like some other guys because you MOVED TOWNS..so BE HAPPY..VERY HAPPY that you live in another town and you had to move back.
peace!

 

[Faded Image]

I know it hurts like hell but the best thing you can do in this situation is let it burn.

It's no quick fix to these types of situations. Avoid thinking about the good times cause that'll only prolong your situations. Avoid jumping into quick relationship or fvcking other girls because your heart is still with the other girl and you won't learn from this situation.

Last but not least, learn how to be happy by yourself and don't depend on a female to bring happiness to you.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

i was in your situation 5 days ago, i just got into uni and got drunk at freshers, then broke up with my GF as i was drunk. I treated her like a real bad boy, but i was good to her at the same time. She felt trapped but she was wildly in love with me-till i broke up with her.
I know how u felt, it hurt like Fck, you cannot bear the love of your life walking away and never talking to you again. Trust me when you say this, if you want her back, then try to take her back.
I no that DJing teaches us ther are alot of potential out there, and i agree, but i say, if you two love each other, then what does it matter?
what did u do to make her hate you?
dont talk to her for some time and see what she says, bbut before that, send her a heartfelt email explain things, say what you really want to say and don't keep it, that way she knows the truth and you wont have regrets later on.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

after you explain things, if she regrets everything, then she'll feel your absence, it will take time. 2 weeks-a month. between that time, deactivate facebook, anything that might keep her informed of how you are doing, tell your friends not to tell her about you.
Then her heart will open like a hole, if she wants you back and shes worth it, take her.
If she does not get in touch after 1 month, move on.

 

[Superman5432]

Rough situation. I really feel your pain. I was in a relationship for a year and the same thing happened to me. Trust me and the other posters with the advice though..it's all true. This is going to make you strong as hell and more aware of what girls are like in the future. You are going to learn how to protect your heart because of this and improve yourself like you never have before. It may look dim right now but 2 months down the road you will probably be thanking your ex (in your head of course) for doing this to you...simply a blessing in disguise. As others have said she may come back or contact you..but I would honestly cut all contact and never talk to her again..out of sight out of mind my friend this is the only way to do it in my opinion.