Hung out twice, no real escalation.... friend zone?

teddy

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Weird situation here: I've hung out twice with a girl, but those hang outs were separated by three months. She thinks I'm interesting as all hell and blows up my phone periodically to hang. I've applied initial kino, but she doesn't really reciprocate; therefore, I am having a hard time continuing to escalate.

If nothing has happened after these 2 hang outs (granted separated by a few months) have I pretty much slipped into the friend zone?
 

SemperDJ

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By applying initial kino.. OP what do you mean?
Did you lightly bump into her and expected a kiss?
You're over thinking the situation as you mentioned you only hanged out twice, separated by months on who fault alone is that?
 

teddy

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SemperDJ said:
By applying initial kino.. OP what do you mean?
Did you lightly bump into her and expected a kiss?
You're over thinking the situation as you mentioned you only hanged out twice, separated by months on who fault alone is that?
Well, by initial kino, I mean I've applied kino but received little to no reciprocation.

It's kind of my fault, but I've been so busy that I could only really make time for her again a few months later. don't know if that is essentially restarting.
 

JoshSway

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teddy said:
Weird situation here: I've hung out twice with a girl, but those hang outs were separated by three months. She thinks I'm interesting as all hell and blows up my phone periodically to hang. I've applied initial kino, but she doesn't really reciprocate; therefore, I am having a hard time continuing to escalate.

If nothing has happened after these 2 hang outs (granted separated by a few months) have I pretty much slipped into the friend zone?
Doesn't sound promising, but maybe give it one more shot. Just be sure to AGGRESSIVELY escalate with kino etc. don't put yourself in a gray area, simply escalate your way out of any mixed signals/reactions and any potential friendzoning.
 

teddy

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JoshSway said:
Doesn't sound promising, but maybe give it one more shot. Just be sure to AGGRESSIVELY escalate with kino etc. don't put yourself in a gray area, simply escalate your way out of any mixed signals/reactions and any potential friendzoning.
I feel like I've already put myself into too much of a gray area.
 

SgtSplacker

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One way I gauge interest is to plan things we can do together a couple weekends in a row. So on that first date i'll make a suggestion about next weekend. Maybe mention something mid week to prepare her like letting her know I was thinking of actually doing what we briefly talked about last weekend. Pick something that is not too pricey just to make sure she's not going just to do something free or whatever.

I make sure I am not being too pushy, just mention stuff and see if she brings it up herself later. This allows me to see exactly where I fall in her life. What I expect is some degree of interest in spending time together alone. This also lets you see if she is committed somewhere else. If she says she can't go, the reason she may provide you can use to find out where you stand. After that let her suggest a place, if she just doesn't then that tells you something right there. Kinda like creating a situation to see how she reacts.

Typically I do not like to ask a girl out two weekends in a row like that. But I use this to see if that initial attraction is there. Kind of a go hard or chill test. Some girls like to get to know you, some girls lose interest fast. Some girls will go out with you for a free meal and to burn a boring night.

With this test you can force that girl in front of you into the thought process of deciding if you are good to spend time with or not. You can look at her face, listen to the pitch of her voice and see if she is really excited or not. And if you are slick about it you don't even have to technically ask her out. Just kinda suggest stuff, if she's not biting stop right there and save face.
 

teddy

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SgtSplacker said:
One way I gauge interest is to plan things we can do together a couple weekends in a row. So on that first date i'll make a suggestion about next weekend. Maybe mention something mid week to prepare her like letting her know I was thinking of actually doing what we briefly talked about earlier. Pick something that is not too pricey just to make sure she's not going just to do something free or whatever.

I make sure I am not being too pushy, just mention stuff and see if she brings it up herself later. This allows me to see exactly where I fall in her life. What I expect is some degree of interest in spending time together alone. This also lets you see if she is committed somewhere else. If she says she can't go, the reason she may provide you can use to find out where you stand. After that let her suggest a place, if she just doesn't then that tells you something right there. Kinda like creating a situation to see how she reacts.

That's actually exactly what happened after the first time I met her. And we actually had made plans to go out the next weekend, but..... (and I left this part out)

She canceled on me the same day because her boyfriend was visiting from out of state.

Yeah, I didn't realize she was seeing someone. So I went ghost despite her apologizing and texting me constantly and wanting to do other things we had talked about.

Then I met up with her again a couple months later to see how things were (she had pushed far enough down my priority list obviously where it was of little investment for me to see what's up). Still no idea what's going on with the boyfriend, but pretty much everything I've stated still stands.
 

SgtSplacker

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If a girl is interested in me but tells me she has a man I will kinda hear her out too see what kind of situation she is in. I would not lose interest so fast. Maybe she has some beta sucker trapped in a long distance relationship. Maybe she has friends, and you know you are already in good standing with her. See where it goes...
 

teddy

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SgtSplacker said:
If a girl is interested in me but tells me she has a man I will kinda hear her out too see what kind of situation she is in. I would not lose interest so fast. Maybe she has some beta sucker trapped in a long distance relationship. Maybe she has friends, and you know you are already in good standing with her. See where it goes...
Yeah, that's why I still met up with her a second time. But the fact she bailed when her boyfriend surprised her made me cool off on her, that's why I went silent for a couple months. I didn't feel like I should accept a "secondary" role.
 

JohnChops

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No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
Grab your fvcking balls and make it happen! Stop thinking, stop listening to guys here, its simple. Ask her out, kiss her, and make that sh1t happen. Its your game.
 
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