Human psychology is too subjective for all these "rules"

[Mr_knowit_all]

Upon reading many posts on this site and others, I've come to the conclusion that while most of it is good advice, human psychology is too subjective to have hard and fast rules.

I know some of you will say that these rules aren't meant to work 100 percent of the time, but the way some gurus talk, you'd think that's exactly what they're saying.

Take for example "Doc Love" He has this "interest level" rule, where if a woman's interest falls below a certain arbitrary number, there's no coming back. How do you quantify a woman's interest level to a percentage? I think this rule is really stupid. It's also very hard to prove him wrong. If the woman is showing little interest, but eventually you win her back, he'll tell you her interest level wasn't below the point of no return. If she doesn't come back to you, then it was...WTF? What kind of BS is that?

My advice is that there are no rules to female behavior. Each female is an individual and will respond differently. Some rules might work on most women, but they won't work on others. Some women respond great to challenge, while others think it's a lack of interest. Some women respond well to neg hits, while others take them as an insult.

Just go with the flow, and use your gut instincts. That will help you more than any guru's advice.

 

[everywomanshero]

All the rules are just like routines... it is things that work for THAT guy. They can be useful for others, but not in a literalist sense of unbending rigidity. .. see my recent robots post for my beliefs on this.

 

[Sean O]

I agree with you overall, but I also want to put things into perspective. The stuff that works situationally usually revolves around techniques that are taught on this site. (NOTE: To avoid confusion, I consider something a technique if it's forced or contrived, i.e. if you need to think about it and plan it before you do it. That's why it's hard to classify C&F as a technique or a principle, because some people have naturally ****y and funny personalities, whereas others need to force themselves to be like that.) In my opinion the vast majority of these things are nice to know, but NOT something to be relied on, because like you said, different women have different personalities and respond to these things differently. The true meat of the material here, and consequently the true value of this site, is the stuff that teaches you how to embrace your sexuality, how to be more confident, how to improve your social skills, and how to take control of your life so that you can be happy with the person that you are. These are the things that will REALLY take you farther, not just in your dating life, but in other areas, too.

 

[everywomanshero]

I have to go but on my way out, I thought I'd share some of my experiences with this stuff.

No place to sit but the bed to watch TV. Man o man, have I laid a lot of chicks this way. I can;t prove I wouldn't have laid them otherwise, but I truly believe this made it a lot more comfortable for everyone involved. Of course, I laid many chics since I got a room mate and there was a couch here most of that time. I still feel it helps though, but for some guys maybe it won't work, that's the trouble with rules.

Willingness to walk away. This one is hard to use correctly. It's critical for a LTR and it helps greatly in STRs. The problem is guys will get mad and NEXT over every little detail and I did this too. I thought I was accomplishing something and it made me feel powerful. Before long, I found out I was just all alone for the first time in months after having had a life completely surrounded mwith women to the point I was basically living in my car going from chic to chick making my rounds of several different nearby cities... but it had to be that way, I had to go too far to learn where far enough is. This forum helped the most with this "rule" which is more an art form than a rule.

As far as Doc Love goes, the few of his ideas I read seemed to be a direct contridiction to what has gotten me laid in the real world. The one part his I bothered to read that he seems to have right is that no one chick determines your success or failure. Esp. when you've had a life less than perfect with women, it's important to launch a massive campaign to get some success going and get over the scarcity primnciple that's destroying your well being. His rules are not something i NEED OR desire and I believe they are steeming from a lack of field experience, but they may well be working just fine for some guys. I think he also suggested always taking girls to one of a few places where you know what to expect and may have some social proof. That sounds like a good idea too. Although, I have only limited field testing with this since I like to try different bars, places to eat, games, and stuff and that's more important to me than what some chick thinks. Usually if I can't get them to come to my place or have me at theirs, I don't like to be bothered with them that much anyway unless they are something of extra ordinary interest. I guess that's sort of one of my rules and even I break my own rules when I feel like it. The rules don't really apply to me anymore, and they can not apply to you also if you have that resolve. Maybe I just internalized the useful ones to a point where I don't realize the value they offered me. Hard to tell.

In the end a man whose life is defined by his success with women is always living in a house built on sand. Thats why it's important to me to have gotten to a place where I am satisfied with my success with women. If I never got laid again, I got more than my fair share and I lived the life I wanted. I am now free to do whatever I want in life, and ironically this has only served to sync the hold I have on chicks who are drawn in.

So here is my rule.. lay however many chicks it takes to be satisfied that if you never laid another it would be OK.. for most guys this will probably be about 50-60 chicks with at least a few ultra hotties. Then a man can truly have a life based on things that are not, in part, externally controlled like sex with women. I found that for me without some success with women already under my belt I was just bullshytting myself that my values weren't controlled by external forces, I had not reached a critical mass of lays that I needed to become internally validatable. Again, this "rule" may only apply to a handful of guys I know, but it has worked for me and several other men. Results may vary.

I don't know what your goals are, some of them may be unhealthy to the point where they need changed, but If you cannot be satisfied with life unless you live like a celebrity, then go move where you can afford that lifestyle and get it over with. I mean, what good is a life where you never reach your goals? Some people say just change goals, but what if you actually want that goal even if less than ideal? Having what you want in life isn't such a bad thing sometimes. I think it takes some of both.. getting what you want and having internally validable values that cannot be taken away or depend upon anyone other than the self. Happiness is one thing, but there are people who yearn for action and adventure. I think it's more of a stage that comes and goes than something permanent, but it is a lot of fun.

 

[PRMoon]

Think of what people have posted as guidelines rather then rules. The difference being that rules are set in stone and you have to follow them to a key in order for them to work. Guidelines on the ohter hand are to be followed but you can veer off of them or rewrite them as necessary. A guideline can be veered off of and in some cases changed entirely depending on your experience. People don't all act the same but there are generall assumptions that can be made from observed history. This is the basis for Psychology and Sociology and integrating that knowledge into your game is one of the many goals this site seeks to acheive. Obviously you have to think on your own. If you're a mindless thoughtless robot who will only adhear to the rules set before you then you're not going to do well. Recognition of situations and on the fly changes all come with experience from being in the feild. Eventually you'll have a rhythem to your game and it won't seem like your following a guidline but you're doing it subcontiously because it's so engrained in your mind. You'll find the same things apply to your work life as well as any team sport that you practice.

 

[Phyzzle]

Think of what people have posted as guidelines rather then rules.

^ This is the easiest way to say it.

As the great DJ Sir Chancelot said, all these silly rules are to keep you from slipping back into AFCdom.

As for me, now that I'm sure of myself, I don't need to obey these silly rules.

But when my 20 yr old friend suddenly complains about this chick who dumped him, even when his was "perfectly nice" to her . . .

It's time to break out those silly rules.

 

[Phyzzle]

(double post)

 

[Phyzzle]

(triple post)

(freakin' Eastern Hemisphere ISP)

 

[Turncoat]

Human psychology is NOT subjective.

D'Angelo's right, 'Attraction is NOT a choice'. A hottie's beauty is processed deeper in a man's mind then when females see a hot guy (a brainscan was performed to determine this). This differnce in sexual attraction in the male is based on a woman's health and fertility, and in the female for long-term child-rearing needs, where social status and wealth play a larger part than looks.

As much as i hate to admit it, free will is VERY limited, and our behaviors are mostly based on our evolutionary past, whether we like it or not. So if u think ur unique and God's gift to the world, then think again... We're just monkeys wrapped in suits.

Hence, I came to this site, memorized everything I read, and applied it to the real world. Bingo, I'm getting laid with minumum effort. Goes to show that human psychology ain't so subjective after all...

 

[Delta]

that's like saying that MONKEYS or DOGS or CATS or GEESE don't exhibit predictable behavior.

human beings are animals and just like every other animal, although there ARE individual differences, there is a great deal that is programmed into us by virtue of our specie. and the interactions between this programming and the world is very very predictable.

EYE OPENER:

backstories of STRIPPERS, PORN ACTRESSES, etc. almost ALL have been sexually abused when they were younger.

human psychology IS predictable....

keep doing surveys of groups of people - nerds, jocks, strippers, etc. and you'll see common factors pop up again and again and again.

delta