I, Hugh Hefner, the ultimate ladies' man,
Will tell you the tale of a loser's grand plan.
He was fat and played video games all day,
Constantly shunned by women in every way.
He became their "best friend" and listened to their cries,
Thinking it would lead to sexual ties.
He was an emotional tampon, soaking up their pain,
But they only saw him as a friend, driving him insane.
He was hopeless and lost, with no chance in sight,
But then he gained muscle and his future looked bright.
He became a badass, not giving a sh!t,
Life was his playground, he was ready to hit.
Approaching women with a playful, teasing vibe,
He was successful, they loved his new drive.
Many went back to his room, he was on a roll,
Banging women left and right, he had taken control.
He was now a legend, a ladies' man supreme,
His transformation was like a dream.
From a loser to a conqueror, he had risen,
All thanks to his newfound confidence and ambition.
So if you're like the man I've just described,
And want to become a player, here's what you must decide:
Don't be a listener, be a doer and take charge,
And watch as your love life transforms, living large.
For in the end, it's not about being perfect or thin,
It's about being confident and letting your true self in.
So go forth, my friends, and conquer your fears,
And you too can have a story like this, to last for years
