Huge problem I really need help with

Egocontrol

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Alright, well its a long story, but I'm going to make it short. I was seeing this girl last year, and yes I got oneitis. Well she left for another school and the next time I saw or even talked to her was 6 months later. We realized that we still had a lot of chemistry, and shes even recently told me that she loves me. We hung out a lot recently, and even hooked up a couple of times. This is strange because she has a boyfriend. She says she wants to dump him, which she has in the past and just recently after we started discussing getting something going again but the day after she did it they got back together because "hes convienient." seeing as she lives about an hour and a half away from me. Now the only problem is that I really have feelings for this girl as eveidence of nexting her and still feeling things when she came back. She says she shares these feelings, yet she cant break up with her boyfriend. I texted her saying she was taking me for granted when she tried to call me yesterday and havent spoke to her since. I know this is long and a drag, but i dont know what to do. I really do like this girl (i know thats not how its suppose to operate, but who can help that kinda shyt) but i dont wanna be messed with. How can I fix this?
 

SnowBlind77

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yea man it would be easier just to move on, if she lives so far away anyways.....whats the point?
 

Krassus

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How is this a "huge problem." The girl in question is a cheating hoe. ANYTHING related to a chick like that shouldn't go above "minor inconvenience" on your scale. To answer your question: just keep fvcking her. But whatever you do, DO **NOT** get into a relationship with her.
 

flexion_

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You can't fix it. You are her backup plan.
 

Krak

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Krassus said:
How is this a "huge problem." The girl in question is a cheating hoe. ANYTHING related to a chick like that shouldn't go above "minor inconvenience" on your scale. To answer your question: just keep fvcking her. But whatever you do, DO **NOT** get into a relationship with her.

/Agree

Chances are since she has cheated on someone else, she will cheat on you.

Don't get in a relationship with her. Just keep fvcking her and doin your thing.
 

NSUballer

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like the ginuwine song says "whats so different, if u cheated on him youll do it to me"
 

Egocontrol

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Right, so, I really do understand that in the best situation, I would next her, but the problem is she is one of my better friends. So I need to accept the fact that if i do give her the choice between her boyfriend and I, and she chooses him, she probably will be out of my life. Its just hard, and I know that a true player would not be phased, but you all would be kidding yourselves if you never had a problem that is similar to this. How did you guys get over it?
 

Krassus

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Get over what? Dude, the girl is a cheating wh0re. Read the preceding sentence again. Now ACCEPT it. She is NOT a suitable girlfriend, and if you have ANY doubt in your heart about the truth of these words, you DESERVE to get lied to, cheated on and then dumped! Listen, i understand that you also consider her a friend... but you're confused. You have feelings for her, and that's the real reason you're on here, posting about it. So what do you have to do? Read the second sentence of this post as many times as it takes for you to WAKE UP. There is NO problem here. You're fvcking her, that's GREAT! Just keep at it, and FORGET about ever dating her. If you do, you *** W I L L *** get cheated on, i swear on my goddamn life. /thread
 

Manonamission

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Im going to be honest with you here ego, what is the point of even keeping her as a friend? I've found that chicks that often cheat on guys also love to create drama between friends. Unless she has a lot of hot girlfriends I would just move on with your life and forget about her all together....that is unless she keeps offering you sex.

This girl is a cheating *****, and as ludacris says "You can't make a ho a housewife, cause hoes don't act right."
 

Egocontrol

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Yeah, i tried to tell her last night that im done with her and today she called me and imed me saying that shes not losing me again cause it already happend once and she doesnt want to again. So I said what do you plan on doing so you dont lose me then and she just said she didnt know. Then she proceeded to say that i would need to improve in some areas before she would even think about being in a relationship with me. Now i dont think there is much i need to improve on and that got me pretty mad. So i just told her that im good how i am and that she took me for granted. Shes off the reservation man, and shes still trying to call me.
 

Krassus

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LMAO, i love it how SHE called you and told you that YOU need to improve. Attempt at reverse psych gone horribly wrong :D
 

Serialized3

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I dunno, be diplomatic about it and try to still be considered a "friend" while not spending much time or energy on her or her psycho drama.
 

tmpgstx

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She's blowing this dude and it taking it doggy style while telling you she can't break up with him but still likes you.

Translated: He's meeting her sexual needs down there while you're meeting her emotional needs ..notta good
 

trajhenkhet02

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A real friendship would still be there before and after things ended. It shouldn't have a bearing on any FB activities that may or may not occur. She may be an amazing friend but also be a terrible person to be in a relationship. We are human beings and things are a bit more complex then "good person", "bad person".
 

Man Of Adventure

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Egocontrol said:
Alright, well its a long story, but I'm going to make it short. I was seeing this girl last year, and yes I got oneitis. Well she left for another school and the next time I saw or even talked to her was 6 months later. We realized that we still had a lot of chemistry, and shes even recently told me that she loves me. We hung out a lot recently, and even hooked up a couple of times. This is strange because she has a boyfriend. She says she wants to dump him, which she has in the past and just recently after we started discussing getting something going again but the day after she did it they got back together because "hes convienient." seeing as she lives about an hour and a half away from me. Now the only problem is that I really have feelings for this girl as eveidence of nexting her and still feeling things when she came back. She says she shares these feelings, yet she cant break up with her boyfriend. I texted her saying she was taking me for granted when she tried to call me yesterday and havent spoke to her since. I know this is long and a drag, but i dont know what to do. I really do like this girl (i know thats not how its suppose to operate, but who can help that kinda shyt) but i dont wanna be messed with. How can I fix this?
If she really loves you...she would have dropped everything to come and be with you. I have an ex that said she had feelings for me and never decided to drop her schedule to see me. I wouldnt call that love....Id call it time to look for a better girl. I know the thought really sucks...but its just something that will make you save a hell of a lot of time and energy. I mean we just cant force a girl to love us....but we move on man. Get movin...
 

jonwon

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Egocontrol said:
Yeah, i tried to tell her last night that im done with her and today she called me and imed me saying that shes not losing me again cause it already happend once and she doesnt want to again. So I said what do you plan on doing so you dont lose me then and she just said she didnt know. Then she proceeded to say that i would need to improve in some areas before she would even think about being in a relationship with me. Now i dont think there is much i need to improve on and that got me pretty mad. So i just told her that im good how i am and that she took me for granted. Shes off the reservation man, and shes still trying to call me.
Ok man I learned this lesson the HARD WAY so don’t follow my fate please dear god!

Ok this women lets look at a few things here.

Red flag 1:
She is your friend but your shagging her, she has a BOYFRIEND!

Red flag: she has male friends lying to her BF about having MFriends and screwing them, what makes you so special in this loop?
She is a lying cheating who** and can’t be trusted, DO NOT THINK your better then the BF, he is some poor smuck who cant see the fire for the smoke.

Red Flag 2:
She is willing to keep you on has a fu** toy and is trying to use mind games to screw with your head.
Do your think her poor smuck of a BF is totally sane after being with this girl?
She is not trying the same stuff on you that has worked on the BF, soon you will be the ill fated smuck that she says ‘I am off to see bob my best friend, he is male, we are going shopping for an hour’. You like a total fool believe you are special and she wont cheat on you, but it is a repeat of you and her now, think about it!

Red Flag 3
You really like this girl, this is one for you my man, since you are going down a very bad road here.
She has a BF she is cheating on her BF with you, she is hiding it with you being a mate, she has got you so involved you cant see the issues for the puvsy and the as* and the fairy tail life you have inside your head.
Her unavailability has got your mind spinning all sorts of Disney fiction in your mind, about how great it would be just you and her e.t.c and you cant see the problems that are at the end of your nose.


I could go on.

Look do yourself a favour and leave her, move on or regret it in the future, don’t believe me, remember what you have been told.
Learn it the hard way or the right way your choice.

Me I choose the hard way, why?
Cos I was so far up my own ass I failed to see the issues this women had and thought she could not do it to me cos’ I am the MAN, well news for you buddie, get your head from your as* crack and see this women for what she is.

A two timing lying cheating who** who does not deserve such a finer man then you!

Simple, she does it once she will do it again and again, she feels no guilt! What makes you better then the BF, I will tell you this, nothing and even if you are what about when bob comes along and he is BETTER then you, you going to be able to trust this girl going out with BOB whislt your at home, playing daddie?

before you had sex with her, she should have dumped the BF not after, open your dam eyes man!
 

JonJack

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This is the problem when you won't take the girl's answer seriously. She's obviously not going to give you an exclusive relationship. She has already clearly stated that she still wants to be with her current boyfriend. She even tells you that she doesn't want to get into a relationship with you unless you change.

All this clearly and openly states that you and her are not going to be in an exclusive relationship. Now all you have to do is accept this fact and she can still be your friend. Maybe even a fvck buddy.

The reason why many guys can't continue to be friends with girls that won't get with them is because they can't accept the fact that she's not interested and it gets to them when they're keeping in touch while she's screwing some other guy.

Simple way of handling this situation is to determine whether you have fully accepted the fact that she's not interested in having an exclusive relationship with you. If not, then you've got to cut all contact, otherwise it'll be extremely hard on yourself. If you are, then you should be able to treat her like any other friend. If you can't, then you lied when you thought you've accepted the fact.

And the question of falling for her again because you're still keeping in touch because you're getting to know her better is a non-issue. This is because you can really like or even love a person a lot, still accept the fact that she's not gonna want to be with you in an exclusive relationship and still be friends.
 
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