Huge AFC starting to scare me away

[trevor2003]

Originally posted by THA REALNESS
Dump him. He'll hate you,then hate all women ,then stop hating women and start dating them for a while,then find a reason to dump his new girl and look for an excuse to hate women again,start playing chicks and looking only for ONS's,somehow look for an excuse to bump into you ,bump into you then make a peace offering ,start dating you again,you'll automatically fall for his new attitude( of course ),he'll be expecting it ,he'll try to lay you,then he'll lay you ,then he'll dump you,then you'll love him.


It's fate.

THA REALNESS.........DOES THIS USUALLY WORK???
WOULD ANY OF THE OTHER GUYS HERE AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?
espically the part of "she'll automatically fall for his new attitude, he'll try to lay you,then he'll lay you"

 

[Chrispy]

Originally posted by 32swf
This is the email he sends me last night when he got home:

): Thank you for spending time with me. I usually don't drink so much except when SCOTS comes around. I had a wonderful time. I really just don't know what to say to you. I can't wait to see you again. I keep writing things and then erasing... I really am so happy to have met you, goodnight (or good day, which ever comes first)

THEN he calls tonight when he got off of work, asking when we can go out again. He's not being a challenge at all! I guess I'm used to doing a little chasing, and not having a guy being so eager so soon. Maybe I should just enjoy it, but it makes it seem like he's TOO into me for just having met me. It's just strange to me, and I'm getting a little cautious.

If you like him but don't all that clingy attention, just make yourself unavailable (hard to reach) for a bit...that will temper him down and show that you have a life and need your space. If it makes him even more clingy and less challenging, THEN it's "next!"

 

[E-Z Rider]

Listen chick-

If things stay as they are, you'll end up leaving him. It won't be pretty for either of you. I'd say that is the most likely scenario.

But you know what would be interesting...if you told him about the site, and the philosophies here. Then maybe he'd listen, and start to do things that attract you more.

It could work, ya never know. You'd be one of the coolest chicas EVER for actually showing a man what it is that you want! Instead of leaving him wondering why you left.

Trust me, he's a good guy, he's just been socially brainswashed and stripped of all his manly pride. It's in him...just hidden. What a wonderful girl you'd be if you brought the man out of him.

Hell, I'd give it a shot.

-E-Z

 

[bp1974]

That email was painful. He's a classic Doc Love candidate, but he probably won't be ready to hear it until his heart's in shreds. Here's what you do. Choose either (1) or (2), but don't try both:

1. "Cruel to be Kind"
Keep seeing him, and encourage his sappy emails and declarations of adoration by telling him how your knees go weak when he says those things to you. After three months, reel him in a bit more by telling him you love him. Once he's really hooked, and begun sending you flowers with 'I love you too!' cards on, start to draw back a bit, just to get him desperate and confused. Another three months later, send him an LJBF email, with links to "Doc Love" and "NoMoreMrNiceGuy" at the bottom.

2. "Boring but Adult"
Sit him down and tell him that you've enjoyed the last couple of dates, but his inability to keep his mouth shut is making you feel uncomfortable. It's not healthy to be so infatuated so quickly, and to verbally vomit it all over you. Tell him that your attraction to him isn't based on how many sweet things he says to you, and he should just calm down and let things take their course.

Obviously I'd recommend (2), but this is the real world, and he'd probably have no idea what you're talking about. Whereas (1) might actually work. Tesque's right - by the time this guy has sorted himself out you'll probably be ancient history.

 

[chlywly]

The mans a love sick afc-puppy, very unexperienced.. If you like him send him an e-mail with topic "please, before e-mailing me again read this" subject "www.sosuave.com" lol.. seriously. Might as well; he's going to scare you away either way, so save him the trouble and give him some insight.

 

[thissucks003]

Originally posted by 32swf
I've just started seeing a new guy that I really like. the only thing I don't like about him so far, is how strong he's coming on. Not physically, just some kissing, but the things he says. Like how much he likes me, and how glad he is that we met, etc. It's like I can't do or say anything wrong.

I like this guy. We have a lot in common, good looking, he has a great job, close to his family, etc. On one hand, I'm glad that he's SO into me, I haven't had that in a while, but it's only been two dates so far.

I'm worried that he's going to scare me away. I'd just like him to chill a little.

any ideas??

Communication!!!!!

Talk to him like LJC said. You said you really like this guy 2 times in your post and you are ready to throw in the towel this soon? Everything else in your post, you mentioned positive attributes that you like about him. The only negative you posted was the fact that he is coming on too strong. Talk to him and tell how you feel and what your likes and dislike are in a relationhip. Set up your relationship guidelines early so he knows what he has to do to win you over.

TS

 

[MickoZ]

Chance are you are a guy.

Chance are if you NEXT that guy, he will be more attracted to you, or just forget about you, or remember you but worry alone, oh oh.

But you seem to enjoy it. Sometime chick are over-interested too and it is annoying, I may understand you for that... well see, if you enjoy it, do not compare it to other guys that you want to be played. ENJOY IT... why not? Why it has to be like everything... maybe if he is an AFC and stuff, maybe he is just harder to be attracted to, because he is not his 100% trueself or his not acting confident or he looks desesperate to get a date with you. Then just get on matter that will embarass him somehow, ask him question, get interested in what he does, make humor, enjoy it ... you will have just more fun that way!

 

[TesuqueRed]

Hey, what's that web service that sends an anonomous e-mail to someone who needs to be told something embarrassing but no one wants to do it direct?

Maybe 32swf needs to do that about 6 months after she has to let him go.

Anyway, 32---any update?

 

[THA REALNESS]

Originally posted by trevor2003
THA REALNESS.........DOES THIS USUALLY WORK???
WOULD ANY OF THE OTHER GUYS HERE AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?
espically the part of "she'll automatically fall for his new attitude, he'll try to lay you,then he'll lay you"

Of course .It happens all the time . I've got next by girls i like more than they like me and this is what usually happens.

I'll put money on it ...he dissappears for a while ,becomes a selfish prick ...he has a 99 percent chance of nailing her. She already has feeling for him ..she's just making an excuse because she doesn't feel a sexual ATTRACTION for him....and for some sad,sad,very depressing reason they LOVE cold hearted azzholes.


It's life.

 

[32swf]

going well

I'm not ready to throw in the towel, just yet. I want to see where this goes, because he does have a lot of LTR potential. I think I'll just try to get him to chill out somehow. Let him know that I do like him too, but I'm just not used to so much attention so soon.

We went out last night and it was great. He picked out the restaurant (after asking if I liked Indian food), looked up the movie schedule, picked me up, paid, and was a perfect gentleman. We kissed a little when he dropped me off, but that's it.

I don't know what to say to him though, that won't hurt his feelings. I don't want him to totally back off and not be affectionate or romantic at all, just to tone it down a little. Any suggestions?

 

[JohnJones]

Tell him that you love it when a man understands how to be patient and reveal his feelings slowly, and to give his manly urges room to grow.

My g/f told me that I was doing it "perfectly" by not overusing "I love you" -- I didn't know if she was really complimenting or guiding, but I toned it down a little more anyway and she went crazy to hear it.

If you say it all sexy, he'll either get the hint, or he'll try to fake it for you (and have it mastered for the next girl).

 

[Big Pappy]

I just refuse to try to understand this. A guy - good job,(provider) close to his family(a form of social proof) thinks you're all that and a bag of chips - and you are uncomfortable with this?

So, basically, any guy that doesn't make it a game for you is too dull, too wimpy--- ergo --no fun?

I know that everybody wants fun, love, romance, etc.
This is an excellent chance for you! Of all the problems to have with a guy - "Oh, he's a great guy - he just likes me too much."

This guy knows how to communicate. He's in touch with his feelings. He's expressed them. Say "thank you" and tell him the truth about how you feel - if you even know yourself. (That's not supposed to be an insult, just a possibility.)

 

[Knicknack]

he's horrible... asked if you liked indian food? that is lame. i don't ask girls what they like. if i want to go eat i'll ask them if we should meet at 7 or 8 and let them know what restaurant i'm going to.

 

[KevM2]

Be direct. Just say something like, "I know you really like expressing your feelings for me, but let's take it slower... I like the suspense of not always knowing what you're thinking. A bit of mystery is attractive, you know."

There's not a single good reason to dump him. There's a hell of a lot more criteria that fills the bill than 'he's a little too gaga over me.' All relationships end up with problems, and like all problems, you'll have to communicate to get over the hump. Work it out together.

 

[MickoZ]

She want a LTR -> You tell her that he will get ready for the next girl!

Guys usually say girls try to much to change them -> you tell her to change him.

Do not change him... -> JUST RAPE HIM! Do it like a gentlewoman though... but that might be one of your most funniest experience and he mights just go nuts =)

Why not? ;-)