How would you reply to this text?

[Yo'Mama]

Ok, trying to move on from my woes (see other thread i started - Field Report) I have another date tomorrow. Very hot girl but 34 so not really in a position to be making demands.

She texted me a couple of hours ago:

'Hi YM. I'd like to go to [name of expensive restaurant] tomorrow, if you would like to try their amazing chocolate torte."

She was going on about that dessert at the restaurant and how good it was, last time we met. I casually responded that I'd like to try it sometime. This place is expensive. I can afford it easily but if she thinks she is going to play me for a chump she can f**k right off. If she wants to go Dutch, fine by me.

I'd like to bang this b**ch but if she's really just after an expensive meal i'm totally stunned by her nerve. She is very glamorous but she's past her prime years and it's not like i'm some 15 years older guy (i'm about two months older than her) or fat or anything.

How to play this?

 

[FairShake]

I can afford it easily but if she thinks she is going to play me for a chump she can f**k right off.

I feel like you already know what you're going to do. It's Dutch or nothing for you. Which is fine.

That said, if you can easily afford it than why not. People will harp on and on about not paying but going Dutch will probably send you to the friendzone and not get you laid faster than paying for her meal.

It all comes down to which matters more. Preventing the possibility of getting played or getting laid.

 

[SoldMySoul]

EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wait for it................................................................................ She invited, SHE PAYS!!!!!! Simply as that. End of discussion.

If you pay for expensive dinner that she set up, you are setting the frame under her terms... How many more times does she use you for an ATM? As poster eluded above me: Dutch or nothing. It could work if you do not mind paying ONLY your way, but why should you have to? Did the expensive place originate in your mind? No it didn't.

Some will counter and say you should pay... Go right ahead if you want to be an atm!! What has she done to deserve expensive dinner? Even if I were getting laid...Once she is earned it, I will pay more.

 

[st_99]

if she thinks she is going to play me for a chump

I think you're coming at this from the wrong frame. How can she possibly be playing you for a chump if you're the man? She'd only be playing herself. you really should internalize that, then you'll never approach things like this from a defensive standpoint but more of an amused one. Like you could counter with a dennys date (im half joking). haha. but you get the picture..

 

[betheman]

"Hi YM. I'd like to go to [name of expensive restaurant] tomorrow, if you would like to try their amazing chocolate torte."

you: are you the main course?

yeah, she is setting the frame, after a free meal or sh!t testing you? sounds like both, is it AFC to pay for meal after you have banged her? maybe are you happy to walk away from this if your not getting her? basically is banging her worth the meal? prostitution in a subtle form but its a transaction, is it worth it?

bang her first then decide if you want to pay for the meal, that way you set the frame and make her perform for her supper

 

[SoldMySoul]

"
bang her first then decide if you want to pay for the meal, that way you set the frame and make her perform for her supper

As archaic as this sounds... SPOT ON. YOU and I are showing our age w/ what experience has taught us!!! When you get into your forties, BS walks and action TALKS!!! I am simply NOT interested in spending a lot of money in the beginning. If I found a keeper, then I will be willing to part with more paper...but, by that time she has proven herself worthy as well as paid enough too.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I agree with most who have replied; no way in hell you should pay. Who does this entitled byatch think she is?

"I'd like to go to "48 dollar beer night" YM!

I'd counter and tell her your more of a action oriented dating type of guy, not a sit down at dinner guy.

If she whines and moans, then you def saved yourself a head-ache.

This girl def still thinks she is grade A, when we both know that's not the case.


I say don't go and counter with the action date and see how she responds.







PIMP

 

[Johnnyventana]

Over thinking Alert.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Over-thinking? I'm not sure if that's true here. She acted, I need to react. The question is how and I don't think the response is that obvious. Let's be very clear here. I am not looking to make this ho my girlfriend. However I do want to have sex with her. So now this has become a battle of wits and wills and I want to win.

I agree that I would look like a chump if I just go 'Yeah sure let's go there baby, anything you want' and then i also pay.

I would be very happy to go to this place if we go Dutch. The restaurant is one I would like to try anyway and I like nice places. I'm really fine to pay for myself, I just am not going to pay for this bvtch. No way. I haven't even banged her yet.

So I could reply and say, 'Sure, let's go Dutch!'. How does that sound?

This bvtch isn't going to be down for an action date. No way. Of course that means that in my view she's not the sort I'd have any serious interest in. I just want to bang her though.

So gentleman, the question here is not whether I should next this woman. In my mind she is already nexted. I would just like to fvck her (hopefully for more than two minutes - see other post) before I do and I'm scheming on the best way to do this.

To be honest if I thought taking her for the meal would get me guaranteed sex I'd probably just take the hit. But like Espi so rightly said she will lose all respect for me if I just agree with her. I don't care if she respects me or not to be honest, but I can easily see her just going for the dinner then saying 'See ya!' afterwards. If that happened I don't think I could look myself in the mirror.

However it could be that I have interpreted the text wrong. My impression of her is that she has money (her pics on Facebook certainly suggest it from all the fancy restaurants and Business Class flights - unless some chump has been picking up the tab). She knows I'm good cash wise. So if it's just a case of her wanting us to go to a nice place which we can both afford (paying for ourselves), I don't really have a problem with that.

Of course I could just go there, wait until the cheque comes and then just put down money for my half. It will be awkward but sort of funny.

 

[GhengisT]

you: are you the main course?

:woo:

 

[SoldMySoul]

Op: She knows you are good cash wise?

I was going to say, "If you had an absorbent amount of dough or unlimited supply, sure why not?"

But even if you did, would you want some woman leeching off you????
That would be the downside of dating if you were rich and the women you were dating knew it... $hit, how could you honestly discern if they liked you for you?

If I were rich I'd try and keep those cards close to my chest for a long while. I would dress decent and have an average car to start dates off with.

 

[Tiguere]

yomamas mind is his own worst enemy. she sent you a text.

TEXTS DONT HAVE TONES. THEY ARE EMOTIONLESS( at least the one she sent you)

AS YOU THINK YOU SHALL BECOME.

if you think she will try to play you ... SHE WILL TRY TO PLAY YOU.

go to the date grab your balls and bring her home and fvck her. the only reason you are skurrdddd if because you are afraid your game is not up to the heights needed to bring her home. so you are coming up with " is she gonna play me?" will she try to be a gold digger"?

your demons are winning. conquer your demons.

 

[Yo'Mama]

Guys,

Thanks for the replies. Espi I think your post was bang on.

I think a little while back I WOULD have thought, ok take her for dinner, treat her nice and she is bound to like me and want to have sex with me. After doing exactly that and getting nothing a few times (the girls who did have sex after that were looking for a well off boyfriend anyway) I can really see the wisdom in your approach.

I'm just a bit surprised by her text. I have never had a girl ask me to take her to a specific place before!! Especially an expensive one. The money is immaterial but the principle isn't. If I took her on the date, paid the bill then brought her home and banged her then never heard from her again then I would be happy enough. Of course it wouldn't be an ego booster at all because I agree that guys with solid game won't ever need to spend money like that on a woman.

I think this is the sort of girl that will get taken on expensive dates by chumps (like me lol). I can tell that from all her Facebook photos. She is a glamorous type, really into clothes, restaurants, luxury, etc.

On the other hand she owns her own business and lives in a really nice place. So ostensibly she is doing well for herself. As I said I have no issue going to a nice restaurant that I wanted to try anyway and picking up half the cheque. But paying for some bvtch to eat fine Italian food? It just doesn't feel right.

I know full well that all this is beta thinking and that giving it this much thought is ridiculous. To be honest it's been a LONG dry spell which I (barely) broke last night. And I'm really prone to over thinking stuff anyway.

There also doesn't seem to be much of a consensus on this thread. It's a split between 'Don't be a chump!' and 'Stop thinking, just go on the date, then f*ck her'.

It's the second date by the way (and the third time we have met), not that it makes that much of a difference.

 

[TopGun2000]

try to propose a different plan and be the leader

 

[Yo'Mama]

If I want to go dutch how best to do it? Tell her beforehand or wait til the check comes then just slap down the cash for my half only?

 

[Yo'Mama]

Yo mama don't go dutch. Just TELL her wherre you're going to be and invite her along. You pay.

And be wary of her lifestyle. I'm convinced that just about every attractive woman in this country is being supported by a man to some degree--chump BF, rich ex-husband, etc.

Your girl seems accustomed to men with money. She expects it, even though most guys are struggling right now. I personally abhor women like that.

Thanks Espi, me too.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

I don't see the big problem here personally. She's saying "Take me out to dinner and do it right and chances are we'll bang". Go for it bro, unless she's not much chop.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

You remind me of my tight ass cousin who still hasn't got a missus dude what is the big deal?? no offence of course.

 

[Yo'Mama]

You remind me of my tight ass cousin who still hasn't got a missus dude what is the big deal?? no offence of course.

Heh non taken bro. Well really I don't mind spending money. But I do mind getting played like some sucker. I'm the same age as this girl, as in shape as she is, similar level of looks. So it's insulting if she thinks she can take me for a ride. It's al about principle. Of course maybe it's better just to go with the flow but I'm really with Espi on this one.

I mailed her and said 'Let's meet at mine then take it from there'.

No reply which suggests that she was just after the free meal. I'm glad to find out now!

 

[Spinning Spinning]

Surely she's not going to ALL that trouble for a free meal? If she is then you're right fk her off! I hope she texts you back though. ;-)