On some level, these people know that they are making mistakes, but they suffer from cognitive dissonance resolution.
We all experience this on some topic and to give an example.... here's mine.
I love a good steak, barbeque, hamburger etc... I also have a soft spot for animals. All animals. If I saw someone mistreating one, I'd hardly take a blind eye. But at the same time, I eat dead animals and by doing so, my money actually supports the inhumane way that animals are treated and killed. If any of you actually look inward, you'd also recognize your own sense of denial or cognitive dissonance resolution. I've shared mine.
I wish that these people could be helped, but they operate on a denial level. Most do not want to be helped and/or cannot be helped.
More than once, I've dealt with 'men' (actually, I refer to them as "guys") . They have this apologetic notion of being born a male and think that women are misunderstood. I've tried every aspect ie;
"why would you be with the type of girl that you haven't ever fantasized about?"
"why defer to keep peace, when you know you're right and could be with someone else more compatible?"
"you wouldn't cross a road (if you didn't have to) that had a 75% fatality rate, so why would you willingly engage in a marital ritual that has a 75% failure rate ... 50% divorce rate and half of the remaining are unhappily married... therefore a 75% failure rate?"
"you claim that women are smarter than men, but at the same time, you claim that women are helpless and mistakenly involve themselves in bad situations.. .which is it? It can't be both."
No matter my attempts, it's in one ear and out the other.